Ba-dum… ba-dum… ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, BADABABA- 'tis the twelfth chapter! Yes, oh my goodness, I can't believe it either. And no one (meaning me) has actually had a mental breakdown yet- I'd call that an accomplishment, wouldn't you?
S/O to GodSlayer'sGrace- I'm anticipating Gajeel and Levy too.
Alright everybody, let's try something new out. I actually do receive any and all reviews on my iPod, and for the first few chapters I actually replied to each and every review (except the anonymous, since I can't). I'm not sure if you guys got my response, which I sent from my iPod, so I'm going to try and PM all review answers to you, and we'll see how that goes.
Now, on to the chapter!
Jellal woke up and blinked his eyes against the harsh lights. Windows made up an entire wall, and lanterns were generously spread throughout the room he was in, adding to the brightness. The fact that the room he was in was completely white certainly didn't help.
A sneeze wracked him unexpectedly and he groaned, covering his eyes. He didn't know where he was, or why he was here, or why he had such a horrible headache (though the blinding white walls and lights probably had something to do with it), but he certainly didn't appreciate any of it. Especially the headache.
Snuffling came from his left and he flailed, almost falling out of bed. Who was here with-
"Erza?" He questioned, and did a double take. She was on an identical white cot, hair sprawled across a white pillow, with white light highlighting her body. Just like him, he supposed. The only thing that wasn't white was her hair and her armor- he frowned.
Looking down at himself, he saw that he was still wearing his own clothes as well. That was strange. The rest of his body, and Erza's as well when he looked over to examine her again, seemed to be well-kept and fairly sanitary. His hair didn't feel oily when he reached up to feel it, so it'd been washed. His face was clean and felt freshly scrubbed. It was only his clothes that were caked with dirt and grime, which seemed completely contradictory with the rest of his visible body.
They were actually stiff when he plucked at them, and Jellal grimaced. Oh, that was so gross. He hadn't felt this grimy since the days when he was newly enlisted into the army. He felt disgusted- what he wouldn't give for a nice bath right about now.
A sneeze sounded beside him and he looked over. Erza was coming to, it would seem. She opened her eyes and looked around, Jellal watching her all the while. He wondered if he'd looked as baffled when he'd first woken up.
"Hey." He croaked at her, and chuckled weakly when she started.
Erza glared at him (though it was decidedly less impressive than her other, healthy glares) and frowned. "What are you doing here?" Her voice was as scratchy as his- did that mean they needed water? He forgot, and couldn't really bring himself to care at the moment.
Gods, but he was tired.
"Your guess is as good as mine." It was only polite to answer her question, he supposed.
She didn't appear to appreciate it. "How helpful your astute deduction skills are." Sarcasm practically dripped off her words.
"Well excuse me if I haven't managed to figure out every minuscule detail of our situation in the scant three minutes I've been awake." He sniped back at her. Maybe that would shut her up.
"Perhaps you should have actually gotten up and tried to figure out the details instead of staring at me and making idle conversation!" Of course it wouldn't, why would it?
He groaned and raked his hands through his hair. "Oh my God, you're so- I just want to-" He motioned with his hands and grated his teeth together. This woman was so damned frustrating! What was her problem? What, exactly, had he done to deserve such hostility on her part?
"Just forget it," She snapped and sat up slowly. "I'll figure it out myself." The floor made a scuffing noise when her feet swung off the bed, but Erza stopped there.
"Uh," She clutched her head and roller her neck.
"Bad headache?" Her head slowly turned to face him and she glared, which Jellal took as an affirmative. "You also feel kind of sick, right?" He continued onward when she still refused to answer. "Upset stomach, nauseating feeling, your eyes throbbing…" Her mouth was set in a hard line.
"Moving too fast probably isn't the best idea right about now." He added.
She huffed at him, but otherwise laid back down, this time more slowly. After a few more minutes of silence she said, "Whoever thought up this color scheme should be gutted in the street."
His chest ached when he laughed, but it was worth it. For once they agreed on something. "No curtains for the windows or shades for the lamps, either."
"Of course not." The pillow whooshed when her head fell back on it. "How long have we been here anyway?"
"I'm not sure, but I'm guessing a few days going by this." He fingered his shirt again and gagged when flakes of… whatever came off.
He looked back over questioningly when Erza's breath hitched. She merely shook her head and bit her lip.
"What…" He cut off abruptly when her hand drifted down towards her skirt. "Um, I don't really think that now is a good time to scratch that particular itch-"
"Shut up, Jellal." She glared at him and reached under the skirt, glaring at him the entire time. Her eyes glazed over the more her hand moved around, and Jellal blushed. Dear God, was she? She was. That… dear God.
The skirt rustled and hitched up further, Erza's hand moving at a steady pace. Jellal swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. Was it hot in here?
He shifted uncomfortably and licked his lips. This was so not the time for this, no matter what Erza was currently doing, and- oh. Thinking about what she was doing was not helping his situation. His hand drifted downwards and he froze. What was he thinking? Just because Erza was… helping herself did not mean he could. Still… what was good for the goose…
Erza's eyes flew open and she moaned before Jellal could finish that thought.
But the sight of her, oh god. Her head was thrown back, she was splayed haphazardly across the bed, her hand was currently residing near (if not in) her, uh, nether regions…
Jellal threw his head back and groaned, grinding his head into the pillow. He clenched his hand and brought it to his mouth, biting it. That calmed his problem minutely, but the satisfied sigh that came from Erza brought it right back.
"It's still there." Erza turned and smiled at him. That smile wavered and turned into uncertainty when she took in his expression. "Are you alright? You look a little…" She waved her hand around vaguely before finishing lamely with, "Flustered."
"I'm-" Jellal choked and laughed a bit hysterically. "I can't believe you. You're telling me that I look flustered," He made air quotes around the word, "after what you just did?" He laughed again. "I must be dreaming."
"After what I…?" Erza trailed off before gasping. "That's- you- I can't believe you think that I just-" She cut off furiously before her eyes dropped to his crotch. She jerked them back up and blushed furiously. "You perverted little-"
"I'm perverted?" He sat up and turned to face her fully. "You're the one that just put on that little performance, not me!"
"It was not a- a mere performance!" She sputtered and sat up to mirror his position.
"Didn't know you'd gotten into voyeurism since our last meeting." He snapped at her.
"Oh, well I never-"
A clap sounded from the corner of the room and they both snapped their head around and mouths shut simultaneously. Oliver was standing in a doorway, grinning at them. "Well," He clapped his hands together once again. "I'm glad you two are finally talking to each other!"
He grinned widely and walked over to stand in front of their beds. "I was kind of worried when they put you guys together 'cause I know that you two aren't the best of friends." He rolled his eyes and snorted. "Obviously, I mean, so obvious." He muttered under his breath and snorted.
"Oh, uh," He smiled again when he caught them staring at him and started again. "But now I see that I was wrong, and you're becoming friendlier, so… I guess this is going to work out after all." He spread his hands to encompass the room and shrugged. "All's well that ends well, right?"
"Wrong." Jellal stated flatly. Oliver looked at him, bewildered and confused.
"I'm not really sure what you mean…" He trailed off and looked and Erza uncertainly. She raised an eyebrow, giving away nothing.
Jellal held up one finger. "Where are we?" Another popped up, along with "Why are we here?" The third joined the other two. "Why are we in a room together that seems to be specifically made to sear off our retinas?" He thought for a moment and brought his hand down. "I think that pretty much sums it all up." A questioning glance sent towards Erza told him she agreed.
"Well, as for the first question- where you are- you two are in a medical room at the Heartfilia manor, in order to recuperate. The second answer- why you're here- is that ya'll were poisoned, in a manner of speaking. The third- the room thing, and I can't really remember your exact wording- is that this room was designed by Lord Heartfilia himself. The windows let in light which encourages positivity. The lamps ensure that, even when nighttime arrives, you won't be tainted by the negative darkness. It's made of a white clay that's supposed to filter the air and contain healing elements that will transfer from the walls to your skin." He nodded and beamed at them. "Very special, you know. Really rare, too." He leaned forward and whispered.
They stared at him for a moment blankly. The level of idiocy that this boy spewed was… Jellal had no words. Here was Oliver, and what did he have for them? 'Oh, yeah, you guys got poisoned, not a big deal, don't need to tell you why or how or anything like that- just relax and kick back in the Bleach Room.' Idiot.
"How exactly were we poisoned, and what do you mean when you say 'in a manner of speaking'?" Erza spoke to Oliver slowly and precisely, and Jellal supposed she shared his sentiments.
"Psh, that?" Oliver rolled his eyes, waving his hand nonchalantly. "Well why didn't you just ask the first time?" He was going to strangle that little-
"We did." Erza said brusquely, and sighed in annoyance. "Just… look, if you don't know then find someone who does."
"That would be me." A woman with long, wavy brown hair walked in and stood beside Oliver, hip jutted out and arms crossed under her ample breasts. "Hello, I'm Doctor Alberona, the physician that treated you. However, I prefer to leave the formal bullshit to the politicians so you can call me Cana, alright?" She looked at each of them and, upon finding no immediate objections, smiled before moving on.
"I'm just going to take a wild stab in the dark here and suggest that you guys would like to know what's going on." She cocked her head and squinted at them. "Wow, tough crowd today. Alright, on to business then."
Two more people walked in when she turned around and snapped her fingers, one carrying books and the other clothes. "Meet Lackey One and Lackey Two, the so-called doctors that Lord Heartfilia employed before I got here and upstaged them with my actual medical degree and charming personality."
They walked over to Erza and Jellal and gave them a new set of clothes, just as vanilla as their surroundings, and three books apiece.
"Here's some clothes in case you'd like to change, since you're both smelling a bit ripe. We would have done it ourselves, but Red Riding Sword over there freaked out every time we touched her clothes- an amazing feat really, given the fact that she was technically unconscious." Cana shrugged in a 'what can you do' manner. "The books I'll explain in a minute, after I finish my initial explanation."
She cleared her throat and rolled her shoulders, "This is just a rough explanation mind you, as I've had a few drinks and can't remember everything at the moment, but here we go!" She clapped her hands in an eerie repeat of Oliver.
"Ollie-boy here was correct when he said you were poisoned, though not so right when he said 'in a manner'- you were poisoned, no doubt about it. It appears that someone spiked your sword cleaner-," her chin jerked towards Erza, "And through it, you. And also you," she indicated Jellal, "Though we're not sure yet if that was intended or you're just collateral."
Oliver stepped forward and interjected, "We think it was intentional, however. The soldiers that got in a fight, which resulted in Commander Jellal entering Erza's tent, were later found to be absolutely plastered."
"That is to say that they imbibed an alcohol substance that was most definitely stronger than regulation. Homemade moonshine, I suppose it's called. Unfortunately whoever supplied the alcohol didn't bother to stick around and share." Cana pouted for a brief moment before moving on.
"The sword cleaning substance was only partially replaced, so that it wouldn't arouse suspicion too early. After all, who uses a cleaner that isn't working, right? The liquid half of the cleaner was replaced with was one part carbon monoxide and one part chlorine. Carbon monoxide is an odorless, colorless, tasteless, and for the most part non- irritating substance. We're not sure how large the dosage was, but prolonged exposure would have had the same effects as a lethal amount anyway."
"Prolonged exposure… like cleaning weapons, I assume?" Erza's mouth thinned into a hard line as she looked at Cana.
"Yes," Cana answered solemnly. "Like cleaning weapons. You spilling that bottle may have saved your lives. By spreading out the fluid you prevented direct inhalation, which was a smart move though that probably wasn't your intention."
"It was his fault the bottle spilt, actually." Erza pointed towards Jellal and added, "You owe me a new bottle of cleanser."
"My fault- You spilled it before I even came into the tent!" Jellal protested, seemingly outraged.
"Your soldiers got into a fight with my men which led me to spilling the bottle- ergo, it's your fault."
"Whatever, fine. Please continue." He turned from Erza to Cana, deeming to ignore the former's convoluted reasoning.
"Are you sure? Watching children squabble is one of my favorite pastimes, after all." She examined both of them. "No? Well, if you insist then. Though spilling it helped to reduce the severity of the poisoning, you were still poisoned, though only acutely. If you feel lightheaded, confused, sick, or dizzy don't be alarmed. That's all perfectly normal in cases like this, along with some killer headaches. Basically, it's like you've got a semi-permanent hangover- congrats."
Erza snorted and grumbled something about 'inappropriate humor.'
"The other one part, the chlorine, is significantly less deadly than the carbon monoxide, and for that you should both be thankful. If the mastermind behind all this was a real mastermind, he or she wouldn't have diminished the monoxide's power by mixing it with a weaker material, but nobody's perfect, right?"
Jellal could identify with Erza's mutterings about Cana's sense of humor.
"As I said, chlorine is weaker than carbon monoxide, though don't mistake that to mean it can't kill you. It can, but there would have to be a significantly larger quantity of it than there was in that little bottle of cleanser. I'm not exactly sure what the goal was of mixing them together, if the perpetrator thought that would make them stronger, or… Well, I just don't know. Again, side effects include eye irritation, coughing, and possibly vomiting. You haven't thrown up yet though, so I'm about sixty-three percent sure you won't in the near future."
"That… that's not exactly a reassuring percentage." Jellal was aghast; for her part, Erza just looked downright offended. What kind of doctor was this Cana woman? He'd liked to examine that medical degree she claimed she had. In detail. With a magnifying glass. With a document forger on hand for consultation.
"Well what do you expect, I'm not a miracle worker. I can't guarantee anything, y'know, I can't predict the future." She paused and thought for a moment. "Unless you're talking alcohol and card reading, then I can guarantee much and foretell everything." The curls in her hair bobbed up and down as she nodded sagely.
"Anyway, to get back to our original topic, the books I've given you contain the newest medical reports and documentations that are combined annually. It's a pitiful attempt at communication and wide-spread standard medical practices, but it's all we've got at the moment. You can find some more information on the poisons that were used against you, as well as different opinions on and of the assumed side effects. The books are scattered and not well organized, but if you think you can make something of them then please," She gestured towards the tones laying on their beds, "Be my guest. Or guests, as it were."
He hesitantly picked up one of the books and frowned at the weight. Some were heavy while others were light, and all the papers seemed to be the originals. Unfortunately, that meant they were all hand-written, in different fonts and languages. It was a bit worse than Cana had let on, and judging by the growl that came from beside him, Erza had just found this out for herself.
"You can take a bath if you want- just bang on the door and ask for a tub. Either these two-" She pointed to Lackey One and Two- "Will bring it in or someone else will. Water, soap, and towels will also be provided. Oh, and some razor blades. You look like you could use one." Her eyes raked over Jellal and he self-consciously ran his hand over- oh.
There seemed to be stubble on his face. Usually he kept it so closely shaved that none ever managed to make an appearance.
Cana made an amused sound in the back of her throat when she noticed him scratching his neck and cheeks in irritation.
"You said someone would bring a bath in here- I assume that you actually meant two tubs will be brought in?"
"Nope." Cana popped the 'p' gleefully and grinned widely. It reminded Jellal of a shark. "Doc's orders, and all that."
"You are the doctor!" Erza hissed at her heatedly.
"Yeah. Don't you just love the irony?" Her eyes gleamed. "You two lovebirds-"
"We're not lovebirds." His apparently-permanent roommate protested.
"Well, you will be by the end of this little honeymoon." He'd never taken Cana for a comedian, but she just full of jokes tonight. "You two are confined here for the duration of the investigation of Lady Heartfilia's kidnapping. This is both to ensure your recovery period goes uninterrupted, and to ensure that you won't need another recovery period in the future."
Oliver cleared his throat and made jerking motions with his head. "Ahem, *cough* friends *cough*." He cleared his throat and looked around the room, whistling.
"Oh for goodness sake." Cana rolled her eyes and heaved a theatrical sigh. "Also, it's been made apparent to, well, everyone," Could she stress that word any more heavily? "That you two aren't exactly on the friendliest of terms. Therefore, think of this as a bonding exercise. A very long, very intimate bonding exercise. You two will bunk together, eat together, and- if you haven't figured this out yet- bathe together. We've only been authorized to give you one tub, so…" Cana trailed off and shrugged happily.
"Excuse me, but I object to this." He wanted a new roommate. "I don't know Jellal like that-"
"You did four years ago." He regretted it as soon as he said it, and slapped a hand over his mouth. Erza was gaping at him, a red flush crawling up her neck and over her cheeks. Oliver was just as red as Erza, if not more so. The lackeys were staring into space, though he saw One's cheek twitch in amusement. Cana froze for a moment before doubling over in laughter.
"Oh my-" She clutched her stomach, "That, that was the best thing I've-" More chuckling choked off her words. "And you said you weren't lovebirds!" Cana wailed and crouched down. "Ah, I think I'm gonna piss myself!" Tears formed at the corner of her eyes.
Jellal looked over to Erza. "I am so sor-"
"Don't. Even." She held up a hand and clenched it into a fist. "Just… don't."
Oliver looked around and forced a laugh. "Ah… awkward…"
Cana finished wiping her eyes and stood. "WOO! Oh, well wasn't that fun. The boys at the bar are gonna have a laugh tonight, that's for sure." She shook her head fondly and laughed again. "If you still have any objections- though I doubt you really do- you can take it up with your guardian."
"…Guardian?" Jellal questioned. What was she talking about?
"I didn't stutter, did I?"
"No…?" She might not have stuttered, but Jellal was sure he couldn't have heard her right.
"Then why are you acting like I did? I said guardian, you know what guardian means, what's with the questions? Yes, you want something changed take it up with your guardian!" She appeared to be getting annoyed.
"You did not stutter, you did say that, we know what it means- however, we do not know why you seem to be applying the term to us!" Erza was becoming just as irritated as Cana. What a pair these women made.
The healthier of the two spoke again. "Because of your little accident, a guardian was assigned to the both of you in case of any residual brain damage. We weren't sure how lucid you'd be, so…" She shrugged. "It's loco parentis for the both of you at the moment."
"Well we're both fine!" Erza's statement was a bit contradictory, given where they were, but it was still true he supposed. "So give us our rights back- along with separate bathtubs!" She made just as intimidating a sight as Cana.
"Sorry, but no can do. There are several upsides to loco parentis, but there is also one major drawback: loco parentis cannot be revoked except by the one acting as loco parentis. Bit of a conflict of interest, if you ask me, but I don't make the rules."
She looked directly at Erza. "You want your precious, separate tub? Find the one acting as your guardian, and convince him or her that you're fit to act of your own will."
"Fine." Erza glared back at Cana. "Who's acting as our guardian?"
"Pfft." Cana rolled her eyes and stuck her hands on her hips. "How am I supposed to know?"
Cana motioned to Lackey One and Two, who promptly turned on their heel and walked out of the room. "You two have fun now!" She trilled and wiggled her fingers at them in a wave. Her hair whipped around as she turned on her heel and flounced out.
Erza looked at Oliver, aghast. He shrugged and with an apologetic, "Sorry- I'll try and find out who it is for you," followed Cana and the Lackeys out.
There was silence for a short time after. Dead silence, the kind crickets were fond of making music during. Jellal thought for a moment of how to best break the silence, though he couldn't come up with much. After a few minutes of deliberation, during which Erza continued to fume, Jellal decided to just come out and say it.
"So… you want to bathe now or later?"
How did you guys like it? I realize it's been some time since I did one-POV chapters, and I apologize. However, there was a lot that needed to be said when it comes to these two, and that happened to take up an entire chapter. Don't throw inaccurate medical books at me!
Again, just as a reminder, I'll try to start replying to the reviews and see how PM'ing works this time around. If you actually get a reply from me, shoot me a review for the thirteenth chapter and tell me so!
Some things for this chapter:
#1. Again, I know, one POV. I am terribly sorry about that (as previously stated) but I think I accomplished a lot in this chappie. How do you guys feel about Erza and Jellal? About the little revelation (if you caught it)? How about the loco parentis thing? Does anyone remember anything about that from the previous chapter?
#2. I am not sure how loco parentis works, exactly, and so tweaked and used it for my own purposes. I apologize for any inaccuracies or slights for those of you who hold the position of loco parentis.
#3. The use of carbon monoxide and chlorine in this chapter were used for my own (fictional) intents and purposes. This chapter was not meant to encourage the use or possession of in any way, shape, or form. I apologize to anyone who took offense.
People we've met so far:
Lucy Heartfilia- Daughter of Jude and Layla Heartfilia, only child. Lady of Magnolia. Engaged to Natsu Dragneel, First Crown Prince of Fiore. Assistant/ wedding planner to Natsu Dragneel, First Crown Prince of Fiore. Living.
Levy McGarden- Orphaned only child. Employed by Jude Heartfilia. Companion to Lady Lucy Heartfilia. Living.
Juvia Lockser- Orphaned only child of Jose Porla and OC. Employed by Jude Heartfilia. Companion to Lady Lucy Heartfilia. Assistant/wedding preparations fetcher to Gray Fullbuster- Dragneel, Third Crown Prince of Fiore. Living.
Jude Heartfilia- Husband to Layla Heartfilia, father to Lucy Heartfilia. Lord of Magnolia. Living.
Layla Heartfilia- Wife to Jude Heartfilia, mother to Lucy Heartfilia. Lady of Magnolia. Deceased.
Jose Porla- Father to Juvia Lockser. Deceased.
Erza Scarlet- Orphaned adopted only child of Grandpa Rob. Former Royal Army soldier. First Bodyguard to Lady Lucy Heartfilia. Living.
Natsu Dragneel- Second son of Igneel Dragneel, King of Fiore, and OC. First Crown Prince of Fiore. Engaged to Lucy Heartfilia, Lady of Magnolia. Living.
Gajeel Redfox-Dragneel- First son of Igneel Dragneel, King of Fiore, and OC. Second Crown Prince of Fiore. Escort to the Royal Search Party. Living.
Gray Fullbuster-Dragneel- Third son of Igneel Dragneel, King of Fiore, and OC. Third Crown Prince of Fiore. Assistant/ wedding preparations fetcher to Natsu Dragneel, First Crown Prince of Fiore. Living.
Jellal Fernandes- Supreme Commander of the Royal Army of Fiore. Head of the Royal Search Party. Living.
Happy- Pet to Natsu Dragneel, First Crown Prince of Fiore. Breed: Exceed. Color: Blue. Living.
Jet- Castle runner/messenger. Living.
Droy- Castle runner/messenger. Living.
Mr. Sakinawa- Husband to OC. Owner of a flower shop in Fiore. Living.
Wendy- Assistant at a fabric shop in Fiore. Employed by Lacy. Living.
Lacy- Owner of a fabric shop in Fiore. Living.
The Lookalike Leader- Owner of a glass shop in Fiore. Supposedly living. Undetermined if she and her employees are actually robots.
The Cleaning Clones- Employees of the Lookalike Leader. Employed at a glass shop in Fiore. Supposedly living. Undetermined if they and their boss are actually robots.
Oliver Cottonwood- Right hand man to Erza Scarlet. Bodyguard to Lady Lucy Heartfilia. Living.
The Belkbroth family- Two men and one woman that have some medical association and are employed occasionally by the royal family. Living.
Nurse Welde- a nurse in the Royal Infirmary.
Lily- Pet to Gajeel Redfox-Dragneel, Second Crown Prince of Fiore. Breed: Exceed. Color: Black and white. Living.
Cana Alberona- Head Doctor employed by the Heartfilia family. Has a medical degree. Is presumed to enjoy alcohol and inappropriate humor. Living.
Lackey One and Lackey Two- Two former doctors employed by the Heartfilia family. Are now minions of Cana Alberona. Living.