A/N I. AM. SO. INCREDIBLY. GOD. DAMN. SORRY! I don't even have a good excuse for being away for so fucking long ;_; I guess I got some kind of a writer's block… and lost some faith in myself. It feels like Lovi is getting really OOC… and I'm really sad that I can't do more with this story (this chapter has no real plot either…) because I feel like both it and you guys deserves so much more… So I'll just keep trying to get back on track, okay? Really sorry for the delay… I hope you ENJOY anyway (^^;)

I DON'T OWN HETALIA.

Chapter 12

~Out~

"Y-You can't do that! I'm the fucking chief! You can't just drop me off without my fucking opinion! And I'm gonna stay! Whatever fucker who decided-"

"I did" Raivis said and looked at me, looking for every tiny bit of emotion my face showed. "We decided you are too emotional around Beilschmidt, you made him your friend outside the hospital."

"It wasn't like I had a choice" I spat. "Everyone tried to get us to hand out! The fucking world wanted me to be friends with him!"

"Then maybe the world decided this as well" Raivis handed me a paper which I immediately snatched out of his hands, looking over the words that told me I got suspended. I got paid for keeping away from the hospital until Gilbert was recovering. "Now you have all the time in the world to associate with Mr. Belischmidt. You're not allowed here Mr. Vargas. Please leave or I'll call the guards."

I felt empty as I stared on the paper. I saw the name of the highest boss, and nothing could move him. His decision was final, no objections allowed. I felt a hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly.

"It may not seem like it, but I truly am sorry Lovino."

"Don't be" I said quietly, spaced out and turned slowly to the door. "It's my entire fault anyway. I should have expected it."

Without letting him answer, I walked out from his office and out from the hospital, feeling just… empty.

Xxx(OwO)xxX

"Aren't you going to work?" Feli asked and wrapped his arms around me where I sat on the couch. "You've been sitting here for a week now."

I looked up at him like I didn't understand. Because I didn't. What did it matter what I did now that I could do nothing? Nothing to help, nothing to do, just nothing at all. I had been an empty sheel, spending an entire week on the couch. Changing positions every now and then, staring at the TV that was on 24/7, sleeping there and only eating if Feli brought me something.

"What happened Lovi?" he whispered carefully, anxiously waiting for my reply, watching if I got angry, snapped at him. I bet he would be happy if I did, showing it was still me.

"I got suspended" I answered after a good five minutes in silence. "I'm not working on Gilbert's case anymore."

"Why?"

I swallowed hard. It was good that I talked about it, it would help ease the thoughts. Why? "Because we became friends."

Feli didn't answer me. He just stayed put behind my back, breathing on my skin, squeezing tighter, telling me he was there. My mind was blank. I didn't feel a thing, think one though.

"Do you regret it?" He asked after at least ten minutes, making me twitch, the first sign of life in so many days.

Did I regret it?

Did I regret becoming friends with Gilbert?

"No."

I didn't. I really, really didn't. No matter how fucking annoying the albino could get with all his nonsense about birds, strength and awesomeness I never regretted one second. I loved spending time with him, I was glad I had met him. No matter how fucking useless he was a friend, always doing his own thing, always hoping someone would catch on, he caught on. I didn't need to tell him anything, he knew exactly what I needed. I didn't ask or pleaded, he just gave it to me. As if he could read my mind he did the exact right things to make me feel special, to make me happy, to make me feel alright again. He was the only person except Feli I had gotten so close to. He was the only man outside my family I trusted to one hundred percent with my life.

I heard Feli chuckle lightly behind my ear, I could hear his lips stretch into a huge grin.

"Then what's the problem?"

What was the problem? I got fired because I made friends. Isn't that what life is for? Sure, I don't have many friends, and I'm not the nicest or the most sociable person (like Feli), but I still deserved friends.

I turned to Feli and grinned.

"Absolutely nothing."

Xxx(OwO)xxX

Two days later I was still on the couch. I had gotten over the numb-because-of-depression-state, but I just didn't have anything to do anymore. Feli took care of all the chores before I even got to say anything, I couldn't go to work, and Antonio had been the one dragging me out from the house every now and then, but now we hadn't heard of him in weeks. Well, Feli had. But not me.

I looked up when I saw Feli walking out from his bedroom, trying to tie his tie. I sighed and stood up to help him. He smiled gratefully at me and adjusted It around his neck when I was ready.

"Fucking stupid that you can't even tie your own tie" I rolled my eyes and he pouted at me. "Where are you going anyway?"

"Out on dinner with Ludwig and Kiku." He glanced up at me, eyeing my clothes and examining my hair. "You should come."

I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. "Feli, I don't have the clothes, I haven't left the house for a week, and I haven't showered in the same amount of days!"

"If it's your hair you're talking about, we could fix that with a bit of hair wax!" Feli dragged me towards the bathroom, making me sit down on the toilet, giving me no choice at all when he instantly grabbed a comb covered with wax and started combing my hair. He listened to none of my protests as he took turns fixing my hair and getting clothes, stripping me and clothing me.

"Enough, Feli!" I said finally, pushing him away. "I can fucking dress myself!"

"But you seemed like you didn't want to" Feli said and made a spin to the mirror, fixing his own hair. "I had to help you do the first step!"

I sighed and straightened my jacket, brushing away invisible dust particles. I had to admit I looked good. Feli always did a great job styling people. I was wearing my favorite suit jacket, over a red shirt with matching black dress pants. Personally, I thought I looked stunning. I don't know how many times I had tried to make Feli join some kind of a styling school; no matter what it cost, that kid got talent.

"I'm going to wait outside, so just get ready, okay? You're coming with me whether you want to or not, ve." Feli smiled at me, fixing his tie and practically bouncing out of the bathroom. I sighed, but I didn't strip off the clothes he had dressed me in. I actually was pretty hungry, and I didn't feel like cooking. I could as well come with them. I combed my hair back, sighing in defeat as I rejoined my brother in the living room.

"So? I hope we are going somewhere fucking great."

Feli grinned at me and pushed me out of the door. "Vee… Believe me, we are!"

Xxx(OwO)xxX

"I want three pizzas, all the pasta dishes and-"

"Feli, you can't seriously eat all that!" I growled, and turned to the waitress. "Plain pasta with tomato sauce for both of us."

"But-"

"Look Feli, I can take a pizza too share with you" Ludwig sighed, placing a hand on Feli's arm. My brother lit up and turned to the potato-bastard and hugged him.

"Grazie, Luddy!" he squealed and decided to tackle the big blond to the ground, not caring that we were in a public place, and hug the living daylight out of him. I groaned at them, resisting the u8rge to slam my head in the table.

"I-I would like the pasta with tomato sauce too, please…" Kiku said as polite as ever to the waitress who smiled and said that she would be back soon. Right, I forgot he was there.

"How do you put up with them?" I asked and turned to the quiet Japanese who simply flipped through the pages in the menu before exchanging it with his phone, texting at a rapid speed.

"You get used to them after a while." He said simply, never letting his eyes leave the screen of his phone. "They'll stop soon."

As if they had planned it, Feli and Ludwig reappeared at the table, Feli is smiling and Ludwig clearing his throat. Both blushing. I groaned again and buried my face in my hands. Too much shit I had to put up with.

"Ve, don't look like that Lovi! I'm sorry that you don't have a boyfriend to hug and kiss… but that doesn't mean I have to stop hug and kiss mine, right?" Feli tried to lighten up my mood, but it only made it a tad worse.

"We're in a public place, show some respect!" I hissed, looking around the room to see if anyone looked offended so I could use that person to my argument. To my disappointment, no one even glanced our way.

"Is this because of Gil?" Feli whined and my eyes got the size of plates.

"Feli!" I gasped, looking terrified at Ludwig and Kiku.

"He's already told us" Kiku said, looking as bored as usual, never looking up from his phone.

"So you're in love with my cousin?" Ludwig said and crossed his arms over his chest, hiding a amused glint in his eyes. I glared at him, probably looking ready to kill him because the amused glint spread to his lips which curled up in an amused smirk.

"Yeah, so?" I hissed, trying to sound as threatening as I could.

"I just wonder how someone could actually love him" Ludwig continues, his eyes telling me he's almost laughing.

"If you didn't notice, he has had way more relationships than you" I tried to relax, for Feli, but failed miserably. "Feli is your first, right?"

"As if all those were true."

I glared at him, not finding any good response, and he glared back. Lucky for me, Feli decided to cut our fight off there, by talking to Kiku in a rather large voice.

"So! Kiku! How's Herakles nowadays?" He smiled as usual, ignoring me and Ludwig who snorted at each other and stubbornly turned away from each other, neither accepting defeat.

Kiku looked up for a second, not more, not less. "He's fine." He said finally. His phone buzzed and he glanced down at it. "He told me to say hi."

"Do you always text him?" I asked, trying to hold back the groan.

I saw a faint blush cover his cheeks and couldn't help but smirk. "… Yes." He said silently, cause me to laugh and Feli to squeal.

"That's so cute!"

If we hadn't looked quite alike, I would have seriously considered how the fuck we are related. Because there's no way in hell I'm that stupid!

… But hey, what did I know then?

Xxx(OuO)xxX

It was really late when I had to drag Feli, who had drunk a few (ten) glasses to much of wine, out of Ludwig's car and to our apartment. Ludwig had offered to drive Kiku home and made sure that Herakles met up with the drunken Japanese if I took care of Feli and put him to bed. Feli whined and sobbed though, clinging desperately to Ludwig crying; "No! Don't make me leave! Please Luddy… I wanna sleep with you… pleeeeeeaseeee… I want you…" When Feli got to mumbling about how much he wanted the German and other damn dirty thing I refuse to take in my mouth considering it was about Ludwig, the later blushing furiously, pushing his boyfriend into my arms, I pulled him out and slammed the door shut, screaming like I was in the cast to Mission Impossible to Ludwig to drive the fuck out of there.

So there I was, dragging my drunk, singing brother up the path to our apartment building, cursing myself all the way. Why, oh why did I have to get a brother that didn't realize how bad he could handle alcohol? And why, oh why, did I have to take care of him? I cursed again and looked up towards the house, and nearly dropped my brother right down on the stone pavement.

I saw smoke. Just at the entrance, there was a cloud of smoke, quickly traveling up in the sky. I looked mesmerized at the toxic airs thinning out and disappearing in the depts. Of the sky.

Why you may ask now? I'll tell you why. We live in a smoke free house. Built in a smoke free neighborhood. There's no one in a radius of three kilometers that would ever think about smoking.

And I only knew one person-

"Gilbert!" Feli squealed and grinned cheekily, before slumping down on my shoulder, snoring.

I simply stared as the ruby eyes looked up and met with mine, showing so many sad emotions, how he was sad, lonely, heartbroken, and begging for help. There was so many already finished cigarettes at his feet, one already emptied box of them, and he looked so destroyed and crushed it made my heart tighten, and I wanted nothing else than running over to him and pull him in my arms, hugging him closely and never letting go.

"Hey… lil doc…" He said hoarsely and I swallowed hard.

"Gilbert… What the fuck happened to you?"

A/N I am, once again, really sorry for that delay. I will try my hardest to keep the coming updates quicker, because now I think this is getting interestng xD Anyway, I still hope you liked it, and that you will be nice enough to leave a review, since those make me really, really happy QwQ Thank you all for keeping reading!