DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MARVEL OR ANY ASSOCIATED CHARACTERS
This chapter is all about male bonding. Enjoy!
Chapter 12
"Nice digs. Not very patriotic, though," Tony remarked as he walked through the door of Sean and Steve's new D.C. apartment. He'd shown up out of nowhere, knocked on the door and barged in when Steve opened it.
Steve rolled his eyes. "You know, Tony, not everything has to be red, white, and blue around here."
Tony just waved an arm before unceremoniously plopping down on their couch, flipping through their TV channels. "Your DVR is barren, like Capsicle's list of exes."
Sean laughed heartily at that while Steve grumbled. "We did just move in, you know."
Tony smiled. "And that's why I'm here. I'm taking the two of you out for a little housewarming party out of the house. Spangles here might have to lose a few colors from the color wheel, and you, Mark Wahlberg, might have to add a few, but it should be fun. A little guys' night out."
Steve and Sean shared a glance, almost telepathically communicating. Sean was completely down with whatever, but Steve was skeptical. "And where exactly are you taking us?"
Tony looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "Well, not a speakeasy if that's what you're thinking. Clint and Banner are gonna meet us there."
"This is definitely not a speakeasy," Sean commented as they stood outside of Echostage. He looked over at Steve who had a nervous glance. This was a far ways off from a 1940's pub in London.
Clint and Banner got out of a cab shortly after, joining Stark and the Rogers'. "So, what do we think?" Tony asked.
Banner and Steve were clearly uneasy, but the other three were pumped up. Sean was just bummed he couldn't get drunk. The five of them walked in and all conversation and music stopped. The occupants of the club all turned to look at them.
Oh, here we go. Steve's gonna love this, Sean thought. What happened next surprised even him, though. The entire crowd of people erupted into cheers that almost burst Sean's eardrum. Looking at the others, Tony was throwing up peace signs, loving the moment. Clint was just waving, and Steve and Banner looked at eachother, not used to the celebrity spotlight.
The guys on stage took their microphones. "We got the Avengers in the house!"
The crowd roared once again. Grinning, Sean led Steve and Banner along, following Tony through the crowd, towards the bar. Stark ordered a bottle for the five of them, and they settled down at a table to enjoy the night as the band started playing again.
"So, Spangles, was I right about your list of exes?" Tony asked interestedly.
Steve nearly choked on his mouthful of whiskey. "I-I don't know what you mean."
Sean winked at Tony, letting him know it was true. The billionaire grinned and sat back in his chair. "Clint, what you been up to?" Sean asked.
The archer swallowed before speaking. "Took myself a little vacation in the rural areas of the world."
Steve nodded. It sounded like just the kind of thing he'd enjoy. "Sean and I got back from Florida a few weeks ago, before that whole Extremis fiasco."
Banner chose this opportunity to speak up. "Speaking of that, I'm proud to announce that Pepper has been successfully cured of the virus."
Everyone except Tony cheered lightly, because he already knew of course. "So, Private Ryan," Tony directed at Sean. "You and Romanoff?"
Clint spit out his drink and laughed heartily at that. "Oh, man. You guys should have seen them. They were the greatest and the worst couple all jammed into one. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen."
Everyone except Sean broke out into laughter. "Yeah, until I had the nerve to accuse her of sleeping with you. Not my proudest moment."
"Well, I can't say I can blame you. I mean, look at me," Clint said, motioning to himself before taking another shot. Sean thought for a moment. "What about you, Barton, any special lady?"
"Nope," Clint said as he set his glass down. "I am forever a free man. Banner?"
Bruce, who had been quietly avoiding the conversation, suddenly looked like a fish out of water. "Oh, uh…just uh...Thunderbolt Ross' daughter…" Banner managed.
The others looked at him in disbelief. "That would explain why he was so depressed when I found him in that hole in the wall bar a few years ago after he'd failed to capture you."
Banner looked incredibly guilty at that statement. "You seem to be placing a lot of blame on others, Tony. What about Pepper? You gonna pop the question any time soon."
Stark stared dumbfounded at Bruce. "You know, honestly I hadn't thought about it. You know, I was only busy saving New York, then fighting off a horde of regenerating fire baddies."
Banner raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright, fair enough."
"Hey, why don't we join the crowd, live a little?" Tony asked.
Sean and Clint shrugged. "Yeah, sure." Steve and Banner declined, and stayed put at the table. Sean led the way into the middle of the crowd, where they immediately attracted the attention of the people around them, who immediately started asking them all for autographs.
Tony held his hands up. "Guys, guys, please. No autographs," he said as he winked at Sean. "I got something better. Pick me up!" Stark said, and was immediately hoisted into the air, and off he went. He must have made seven laps around while surfing the crowd. He probably took dozens of selfies with screaming fans, and Sean was fairly certain he heard a couple of ladies ask Tony if he wanted to fornicate.
After adamantly declining, saying he was occupied, Tony finished his crowd surfing by dropping a leg and landing next to them. "Your turn, Clint," Tony said as he patted the archer on the shoulder.
Clint shook his head. "You know boys, I'm getting a little too old for all that, so I say we grab the two losers over there and head back to Sean's place for some drunk game night."
Tony looked at Sean expectantly. "Why not?" he shrugged. "Awesome," Clint said before leading the way back to the table.
"Up and at 'em ladies, we're ditching this joint," said Barton.
Steve looked confused. "But I thought we were going out to this place to celebrate?"
Sean downed one last shot before answering. "Yeah, change of plans, we're heading back to the apartment so these regular humans here," he jerked a thumb to Tony and Clint, "can get drunk without showing up on the tabloids tomorrow morning."
Banner raised an eyebrow and shrugged. He clearly saw the reasoning behind it, so he rose from his chair and Steve followed suit. The five of them emerged from the club, and Tony whistled for a cab. Somehow, the five of them managed to squeeze into it, and Sean gave the driver directions to their apartment building.
Clint and Tony were already buzzed, and Banner had allowed himself to get somewhat intoxicated before cutting off when they left the club. As always, Steve and Sean were completely unharmed, the super soldier serum doing its job, though sometimes Sean wished it didn't.
The driver came to a stop outside their building, and Sean paid him, with a generous tip, considering they'd overpopulated his cab. When Sean turned around, Steve had already gone up with the others. Apparently they felt no remorse about leaving him behind. Climbing the flights of stairs, when he reached his floor, he turned just as Tony shut the door behind him. Sean was about to continue to go inside his apartment when a hand shot out and grabbed his, pulling him into the room he passed on his right. It was another apartment, that much was clear. And judging from the boxes lying around, whoever this was had just moved in.
Sean turned around. "Oh, you've got to be shitting me."
Standing in front of him was everybody's favorite blonde, Sharon Carter. "No, I'm not shitting you, and I'm just as unhappy about this as you are."
Sean laughed in disbelief. "Oh really? I bet you are unhappy, getting to watch over two super soldiers every day, one of which, by the way, is a girl magnet. Seriously, I don't know how he does it. He doesn't even try," Sean complained before realizing he was ranting. "Never mind that. I'm gonna give Fury a piece of my mind tomorrow. I don't like people watching us."
"I'm not watching, I'm protecting," Sharon defended, pointing to the SHIELD Special Service pistol that was laying on the kitchen counter.
"Yeah, like the two greatest soldiers in history need protection," Sean scoffed. "Look, nothing against you, I just hate when Fury does stuff without telling me."
Sharon nodded. "I'm aware."
Sean laughed. "See ya later, Sharon," he said as he moved to open the door.
"It's Kate, and I'm a nurse," she said as Sean close the door behind him.
Shaking his head, he walked to his and Steve's apartment and entered. Tony was shotgunning beer out of a can while Clint cheered, and Banner and Steve were drinking a couple cold ones out of the bottle.
"What took so long?" Steve asked.
Sean just waved a hand. "Some nurse just moved into our hall, asked me if I could help her with a few boxes."
Tony had finished with the beer, crushing the can and raised his eyebrows to Sean. "Wait, Mel Gibson got asked for help?"
Steve made a 'T' with his hands. "Who's Mel Gibson, and why do you call him that?"
Tony rolled his eyes. "I forgot all present were not under the age of fifty. Mel Gibson is an actor who has starred in a couple of patriotic films. The Patriot, We Were Soldiers, to name a few. So, due to Mel's patriotic movies, I call Sean, the Patriot, Mel Gibson," Tony enlightened.
Steve raise his head in understanding. "That reminds me, we need to schedule a movie night once a week or something. I need to get you caught up on pop culture from the last seventy years," Sean said.
"I'm game," Steve replied.
"Speaking of games, that's why we came back here, so get your perfect asses over here so we can play a game I made up," Clint said.
They filed into the living room and sat down. Banner took Sean's recliner that he'd brought over from the New York apartment, and Clint and Steve sat on the couch. Tony and Sean pulled chairs over from the kitchen, forming a loose circle.
"So how does this game work?" asked Banner.
Clint sat forward. "Well, it's pretty simple. Whoever's turn it is makes a statement about your past, and if they're right, you drink. If they're wrong, they drink. Once you guess wrong, the next person goes. I'll start us off," Clint explained before turning to Banner. "You slept with Thunderbolt Ross' daughter."
Banner hesitated for a second before taking a swig of his beer as Clint grinned in victory before turning to Tony. "Your mother was the only one who cared for you when you were a child," Clint guessed.
Tony held up a finger. "Ah, you forgot Jarvis."
Clint swore under his breath before placing his bottle to his lips. Tony turned to Sean. "You've never danced with a woman before."
"Wrong brother, pal," Sean replied as Tony shrugged and took a swig.
Sean turned to Steve. "It's pretty pointless if I say stuff about you, so, skip." He looked at Clint. "You lost both your parents when you were young."
Clint nodded and took a drink. "How'd you guess?" he asked Sean.
"Simple, your rebellious nature. Figured you either had an absentee father or no parents all together," Sean reasoned, casing Clint to shrug. "Alright, Banner. You had no clue what you were doing when you were trying to recreate the serum."
Everyone looked at Banner. After a moment of suspense, Banner nodded sadly and drained the rest of his bottle. "I was depressed. None of my theories were panning out, so I decided to use gamma radiation to see what I could see. It didn't turn out so well. Which reminds me, I should probably stop drinking before I lose control by accident."
The others nodded and Sean turned to Tony. "JARVIS was the first AI you ever created."
"Drink," Tony said happily. "That stupid idiot robot I built as a teenager had an AI system in it."
Sean nodded before taking another drink. "Your turn, Steve."
"Clint, you've never been in a long term relationship," Steve guessed.
"Well your turn was short lived, Cap," Barton smiled. Steve shrugged. Alcohol didn't affect him anyways.
The five of them sat around, drinking, bonding, before Sean decided he smelled too much like sweat and booze. He bid the others goodnight and retreated to his room for a shower and a soft mattress.
Sean shot awake at the sound of his usual alarm going off. Turning it off, he sat up, replaying last night's events in his head. Most people would've forgotten entirely, and woken up with a splitting headache, but alas, Sean was the superest of soldiers.
Very carefully, as to not disturb the others, he opened his door enough to slip out and padded towards the kitchen, like a mouse trying for a wheel of cheese. He paused outside Steve's door, peeking in, he saw the strangest thing ever. Tony was face down at the foot of Steve's bed, a beer bottle still in his hand, and Steve was using him as a foot rest. How Tony even ended up in there in the first place, Sean didn't even want to know.
He quietly walked away before taking in the carnage that used to be the living room. Red solo cups were scattered everywhere, like a plastic minefield. Banner was curled up like a toddler on the recliner, sucking on his thumb for some odd reason. Clint seemed to be the only normal sleeper, as he was laying down on the couch, a pillow over his face.
Sean chuckled softly before filling a pitcher with water. He poured it into the coffee machine and placed the empty pitcher underneath, before sitting down and opening his laptop to read the news.
Unfortunately, Tony's antics had still made the tabloids. Several phone videos were being shown with the caption: 'Avengers Finally Lost It?' Sean shook his head at the idiot behind mainstream media.
As Sean clicked over to the sports section, he heard the first sounds of life in the form of an "Oh, hell" from Clint. The archer sat up, rubbing his eyes, undoubtedly regretting the previous night's events.
"Come on, I've got a pot of coffee on, and Advil's in the cabinet," Sean called.
Clint walked over, pouring himself a cup of the dark nectar before using it to wash down the pills he took. "Man, you really are a lifesaver," Clint complimented as he sat down with Sean.
"I try," Sean said before repeating the same process with Banner and Tony when they came stumbling in, followed by an annoyed Steve. "By the way, how in the hell did Tony end up on your bed?" Sean asked amusedly.
Steve held up his hands. "I honestly have no idea."
"And I don't remember," Tony added as he got himself a cup of joe.
"Listen, guys. As much as I enjoyed this, I need the three of you to get out so we can clean this mess up without being interrupted," Steve laughed.
All he was met with were idle threats and grumbling. The three Avengers obeyed his request, however, and were gone within half an hour, the door closing behind them as Sean sighed. "You know, It's nights like those when I wish I wasn't a super soldier."
"If you weren't a super soldier, you still couldn't have nights like those, remember?" Steve pointed out.
"Very true, very true," Sean laughed.