"Read at your own risk"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
Deciding he was done with enough kicking ass for one day he and the rest of his clones drove down the town. Tagging as many buildings as they could, with Straw Hat Jolly Rogers. But as they were tagging the last wall one of the clones dropped their brush and said the prophesy from the last chapter.
The Naruto clone looked at his creator with its eyes glowing blue and drool spewing down his mouth.
"blarg!" was it's only response
"I think you should dispel it" one of his other clones suggested.
"Are you nuts? I don't want any of that going back in my head"
The zombie clone dipped his hand in the paint bucket and just started drawing symbols on the wall.
"Hey I got it just seal him" another clone went back to the Chakra Chopper and pulled out a scroll from the storage compartment "if we seal him then his crazy won't come back to us"
Naruto had to think for a sec it's true that would make sure the defective shadow clones memories wouldn't come back to him but it also would mean he wouldn't have its chakra back.
"ok there's four clones including crazy and me so that makes five" Naruto proceed to count with his fingers thinking as hard as he could "1 minus five is four so four divided by the square branch times cake would mean."
"20%! You'd be down by 20% you idiot!" another clone had shouted out in furry "how stupid are you, man no wonder Nami-Nii-chan gives us math homework!"
"Shut up I knew that!"
"the square branch of cake what the fuck does that mean that's not math that's four years off you drawing what you'd look like in the hokage hat instead of listening to Iruka sensei's basic study lessons!"
Naruto just ignored himself and sealed his soon to be favorite clone it might have started making up word's like scion and kingdom of kingdom's but at least it didn't make fun of him!. As Naruto finished sealing the clone he heard an explosion not to far from his criminal activities. So he loaded his clones back on his bike and the slowly drove to were all the noise was coming from.
As Naruto drove out of an ally he saw Nami sitting on a barrel the mayor of Whisky Peak laying on the ground beside her bleeding and Zoro who was just standing there. They all stopped and turned to see Naruto and his clones pull up beside them.
"Hey guys, Nami-nee-chan why are you smiling like you just won a Billion Berries'" Naruto could help but ask Nami's face looked as bright as the sun.
"Because I did, Naruto –kun how would you like the chance to not only save a real life princess but take her back to her home country and become a hero"
"I already did that."
"Uh?" Nami's face dropped a little not expecting that
"You did what already?"
"Save a Princess from her evil uncle and place her back on the throne so she could rule her people in love, so been there and done that"
Nami just stared at him.
"…b..ut I gues I could do it again"
"Good answer" Nami's cat like grin spread back on her face.
"So who's the princess" Naruto looked around trying to spot a lady with fancy princess stuff.
"It's the blue haired woman who was trying to attack Lamboon."
"HER!, why is it every time I meet a princess she's an asshole. Are all royal people jerks?"
The mayor tried to his best to rise to his feet "DON"T…don't you dare insult Princess Vivi in my presence I don't care what you can do I'll make you regret it!"
Naruto couldn't help but feel the same way, if anyone insulted the name of Hokage he'd do everything he could to make them regret it. Wait a minute …..Vivi?"
Naruto rummaged around his pockets and pulled out a newspaper clipping. "I thought I recognized you you're the missing guard!"
"The what?!"
Naruto handed Igaram the newspaper clipping which stated that the princess of Alabasta and one of the king's royal guards had gone missing.
"How can this be I left specific instructions that I was on an away assignment, what idiot told everyone I was missing."
Naruto just looked at him like he had said the stupidest thing in the world "keep reading"
Igaram's face went blue as he read the last part Naruto shook his head back and forth in disappointment "if you want my advice next time you take a princess and yourself on some top secret mission you might want to tell your wife first."
And enclose on the article was a picture of Terracotta Ingram's wife crying "you made your wife cry...Jerk"
Igaram hung his head in shame. Nami just shook her head too as did Zoro.
"Anyway Naruto go save that princess, you go too Zoro." Nami ordered
"What why should I go save her if you want the money that bad you go do it!" Zoro replied in fury.
"If it was just about money sure I'd do it myself, but I made a promises so that means everyone's got to help."
Nami hopped of her barrel and pointed an accusing finger at the swordsmen "come one you get to hurt some people you love hurting people what are you scared."
Naruto and the rest of his clones grinned "yeah what are you a scardy cat" they all sang in unison.
If you Naruto taunting you were bad enough a group was just plain insulting. "I dare you to say that again."
So they did.
"Did you forget" Nami put her arms to her hips and just looked disappointedly at Zoro "you still owe me"
"What are you blabbing on about?"
"In Rouge Town you borrowed money from me, remember"
"BUT I PAID YOU BACK!"
"And you also said you'd pay me extra, you still owe for that"
Zoro shook his fist in rage as his whole body seemed to be trembling.
"All you have to do is this one little thing and where even."
Zoro looked dead straight in her eyes and took off running.
"Naruto-kun can you go after him and make sure he protects the princess"
Naruto smiled at his crew mate and gave her Rock Lee's trademark good guy thumbs up.
"Sure Nami-nii-chan you can count on us common guys" Naruto took off after Zoro but his clones didn't.
"That's ok boss you go on a head we got ah clone stuff to take care off."
Naruto swore back but kept up his pace.
"What's clone stuff" Nami asked
"it's were we let boss go do something g dangerous while we laugh our asses off at him".
Nami frowned at that answer "well since you're all still here you can turn in Naruto-kun's current affairs homework assignment."
The clones stopped laugh "we can't that newspaper clip was what our assignment was about."
Nami's smile of cruelty was back on. "Then you can pay the penalty"
All the Naruto's and even Ingram looked scared. "p…penalty?"
"50/50 my ass" Naruto muttered as Zoro was busy in a battle with Luffy. To say that Naruto was a little sore of not finishing off the rest of the bounty hunters was an understatement. When Naruto and Zoro had caught up to Vivi they convinced her they were on her side and were about to enter into a rumble against the Baroque Works Agents Mr. 5 and Miss Valentines day when their fearless and clueless leader intervened mad at them for attacking the towns people.
A simple "Zoro did it" was all it took for the straw hat captain to charge off and scream that he shouldn't boss Naruto around or beat up friendly towns people.
That left Naruto the only thing between Vivi and her former Baroque Works team members or I guess they were coworkers? Whatever.
"Do you think you stand a chance against us kid" Mr.5 asked confidently.
Naruto just milled back "hell yeah I'll beat you in just two moves" he then preformed the shadow clone jutsu creating one clone and proceeded to wrap the clone up in bandages, or at least that's what everyone besides the two Naruto's thought.
As soon as he was covered head to toe in wrappings save for his eyes the clone raised out its arms and moved it legs with our moving his knees moaning "brainsssss"
"Mummies don't eat brains stupid!"
"Yes they do their just zombies covered with toilet paper" they clone shot back
"Just run at the booger man faster" the clone picked up the pace and ran as fast as he could at Mr.5
Mr.5 just smirked and rose out his fist ready to slug the clone if a bomb punch to the face. But little did he know the bandages the clones was wrapped in where actually explosion seals. After Usopp had showed him a manga about scary monsters, in order to scar him. Naruto thought he could scare people by dressing up as the monster with some minor tweaks.
"You might want to cover your ears" Naruto told Vivi as he plunged his finger in his.
Mr.5 socked the clone as hard as he could, his reward was the explosion of his powers activated the explosion seals on the clones and over powered Mr.5's as he shot off like a rocket and landed somewhere on top of the caucus mountain part of the island.
Naruto laughed his little ass off at his handy work one down. Vivi couldn't help but gawk at the little pirate's handiwork. What was more surprising that the kid she thought was an idiot come up with a perfect strategy against Mr.5' Boom Boom fruit powers or that a child had beaten one of the Officer Agents .
"Did you forget about me?" Not wanting to get caught up in Mr.5's powers Miss Valentines day used her Kilo Kilo Fruit powers to float. She too was surprised by the outcome but composed herself to aim perfectly on top of Naruto.
Naruto looked up just as Valentine reversed her powers polarity and started to fall down at an accelerated rate. Naruto with his head still tilted up formed his hands into the snake seal and concentrated in covering himself in Doton chakra making his body as hard as he possibly could doing so just in the nick of time.
Miss Valentines day was angry that the brat with stood the weight of her power as she only made his knees buckle and a few creaks made under his feet she was about to increase more weight when she felt something.
You see when Miss Valentines landed on Naruto she intended to land on top of his head. But he had his head tilted up. And do to the fact she developed the habit of stretching her legs out legs as she lands. The ended up in a situations where she landed on top of Naruto face crouch first.
She tried to move back and forth hopping to crush his face but Naruto retaliated back in an unorthodox way.
Vivi couldn't help but blush and shield her eyes as Valentine started to moan and cry out in pleasure as her face started to turn bright red. She grabbed the back of Naruto's head shoving it deeper into herself. And like a magical siren her screams of ecstasy drew in Nami, Igaram, the clones Zoro, and even Luffy to see what all the commotion was about.
Just as Valentine gave out one last pant her horsed throat could muster she collapsed back words off Naruto and onto the grown her face bright red and eyes in swirls of dizziness.
Everyone looked at Naruto his back facing them he turned around trying to wipe off a liquid splached across his face.
"SICK!, THAT WEIRDO PEE'D ON ME!"
Nami was the first to speak her face red in embarrassment like everyone else except for the clones and Luffy who didn't know what just happened. "N…Naruto-kun that's not pee."
Naruto tried his best to wipe the rest of it of "what the hell is it then"
Nami was hesitant but went over to one of his clones and whispered something in its ear. The clone turned bright red right before it poofed. Naruto looked at horror now knowing what had happened looking back and forth from the past out Valentine and the subsistence on his hands knowing what it really was. Everyone waited for Naruto to do something he quietly walked to a nearby barrel and slowly open the led and placed it on the ground right before dunking his head in the barrel.
He lifted his head screaming "I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET HER OFF!"
"Well technically…."
"NOT LIKE THAT!OH GOD I'VE TURNED INTO ERO-SENNIN AH HHHHHHHHHHHMY LIFE IS OVER"
He dunked his head back in hoping to drown.
AN: Paring still stands no harems sorry.
Next chapter, the legend of the boy with the golden tongue.
Oh and if your wondering the penalty was The clones were just going to help Nami go shopping again.