I Love You Truly

I love you truly, truly dear,

Life with its sorrow, life with its tear

Fades into dreams when I feel you are near

For I love you truly, truly dear.

Ah! Love, 'tis something to feel your kind hand

Ah! Yes, 'tis something by your side to stand;

Gone is the sorrow, gone doubt and fear,

For you love me truly, truly dear.

By Carrie Jacobs-Bond, 1900

Carol was upstairs with Sophia and Daryl knew she would be occupied with her for a good bit of time. Sophia tended to take longer to go to sleep after an evening with lots of "company" and with Merle's offer of a Grand Canyon vacation? She might not go to sleep until midnight. Carol would let her talk for a while and hopefully Sophia would wind down.

Daryl wasn't looking forward to talking to Merle about Delcia. It wasn't his business and Merle was likely to tell him to go to hell and/or mind his own business. Merle was his business though. He loved him and he wanted his brother to be happy. More than happy really. He wanted Merle to have what Daryl had with Carol. Someone who took his breath away when she smiled at him but was also kind and loving. Carol was his true love and what if Delcia was Merle's?

He had lost twelve years with Carol by acting like a jackass and running off. Merle had calmed down considerably these last few years but his brother was always on the edge of being a jackass. But Merle being a jackass might make him annoying but it didn't make him unlovable. Plenty of women had fallen in love with jackasses. Maybe Dellcia had a high tolerance for jackassery.

Delcia was perfect for Merle in so many ways. She loved books and so did Merle. Delia and Merle both liked to debate and argue. She was opinionated and independent. Just the kind of woman to keep Merle's interest.

The elephant in the room was that Delcia was a Negro and Merle was white. It wasn't even legal for them to marry in some states and their union would probably never be accepted in this country. Daryl knew he had to talk some sense into his impetuous brother. A marriage between Delcia and Merle would be harmful to both.

He found Merle on the patio looking at the stars. Daryl took a seat beside him. "That's quite a trip you got planned."

Merle didn't turn to look at Daryl, "You'll love it, Lil' Bruther and you'll get to see it for the first time with people that you love. Get to see their amazement at how beautiful the canyon is at sunset. You'll know that they'll never forget it."

He wants to see it with her. He's doing all this to get her to go. "Merle, I see you looking at Delcia James."

Merle still kept his eyes on the heavens, "I like looking at Delcia James. She's the most beautiful thing in the entire universe."

Shit. Why couldn't he just tell me to go to hell? "Delcia is too smart to let this go any further. What do you want to happen?"

Merle shifted toward him, "I want to have a life with the woman I love. Don't you know how that feels?"

"Me and Carol aren't like you and Delcia. No one is going to look at us funny or call us names or maybe do worse than that. No one is going to call our children ugly names. No one is going to hurt them over and over because of the color of their skin." It sounds so cruel and ugly when I said it t because it is cruel and ugly and real. That's the way the world would treat Merle and Delcia and their children. Merle wasn't a turn the other cheek kinda of guy. How would he handle it when Delcia couldn't go to a hotel or restaurant because she was black? Or something worse than that?

Merle went back to staring at the sky, "First time I saw her on Christmas Eve. She'd come to Paradise in the fall to teach at the school, but she stayed on her side of town and generally I stayed on mine. I knew Gabriel though and I would visit him at their little church once in a while. Gabriel would be at the sanctuary trying to tune that old piano and swearing that he was going to turn it to kindling. It was a shitty piano and even I knew it wouldn't stay in tune. I was in Denver one day and I passed a store with a piano in the front window. I went in and bought a piano for the church and had it sent to the church. Gabriel came by the store the next week to thank me. I hadn't put my name on it but he figured it out. He invited me to come to the Christmas Eve service."

Merle obviously was going to tell him the whole story. Daryl sighed, "How did you meet Delcia?"

"I was restless that evening after the store closed. Christmas Eve. I was going to the ranch the next morning to spend the day with you and Jack but that night I was on my own.. I had a few presents to give out. I put my coat on and grabbed those presents. I started driving around town giving out the presents. Felt like Father Christmas."

Daryl smiled. He and Merle always bought gifts for children who might not get anything otherwise. They'd had plenty of Christmases like that growing up.

"It was clear and cold that night. Stars glittering in the sky and I was feeling all proud of myself for my good deeds. I dropped off the last gift at a house close to Gabriel's church. I decided to go in and find a seat close to the back so I could sneak out when I got bored.

The place was packed and an usher led me to a seat up front. Kinda hard to sneak out from there. I was stuck so I figured I might as well enjoy it. Lots of music and I thought the woman playing the piano was doing a hell of a job. That piano sounded so good and I was all puffed up on my generosity. I knew the pianist must be Gabriel's sister and I started watching her. The way her hands moved across the keys and how she smiled when whoever was singing did something that pleased her. I forgot all about wanting to sneak out. I would have sat there all night watching her, but Gabriel announced that Delcia would sing "Ave Maria".

Merle shook his head, "I'm sitting in a black church on Christmas Even thinking that Delcia sounded like an angel." She finished the song and then moved to sit in the empty seat beside of me.

Up close I could see that she wasn't an angel. Beautiful and elegant but flesh and blood. Gabriel talked for just a little bit about the true meaning of Christmas and then there was this prayer. We all stood and held the hand of the people on either side of us. Some little girl grabbed my left hand and Delcia looked startled but she didn't pull her hand away from mine. Good old Gabriel prayed the hell out of that prayer and it went on for minutes. Her hand was cold and I found myself trying to warm it with my big old paw. She kept her eyes closed but I kept peeking at her. Me, Merle Dixon spending Christmas Eve in a church holding the hand of a black woman.

Finally, Gabriel finished and I had to let her go. I did introduce myself and she owned up that she was Delcia James, sister to Reverend Gabriel James. She wished me a "Merry Christmas" and disappeared.

I wanted to see her again but I told myself that it would be best for both of us. That didn't last long. My New Year's Day I decided to build a house." Merle waved an arm at his home. "And I sat down with Oscar and designed a house that would be perfect for Delcia James."

Merle laughed, "Forgetting her wasn't working too well because I kept finding reasons to go visit Gabriel. I'm not ashamed to tell you that I used my money to support her school in order to get closer to her. I pushed Milton into running for mayor so that I could influence him to open a public library because Delcia thought the town needed one. I couldn't find a damn dragon to slay to win her heart but I began to do something even scarier than a fire breathing dragon." Merle shook his head again, "Meetings. I go to meetings where people talk their damn heads off just to be seen. Why? Because the things that will make this a better town start in meetings. Delcia wants those things to happen and that means that I will make sure that they do happen."

Daryl laughed, "I wondered why you were suddenly so civic minded. I should have known a woman would be involved."

"It ain't like that. Delcia isn't just any woman. She's as special to me and Carol is to you. I know how much shit I'm going to have to wade through to have a life with Delcia. I know that life for her would be easier if she married a black man, but no one could love her more than I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm going to try to make that happen. Now go upstairs and spend some time with Carol." Merle stood up and stretched.

Daryl had come here to talk sense to Merle but it was obvious that Merle had set his course for a life with Delcia. "Nothing in our life has been easy and we have waded waist deep in shit for most of it. You've been the best brother I could ever have. Time and time again you've been there for me. I'll love Delcia as my sister and your children as my own. Anything I can do to help make that happen, just tell me and I'll do it."

Merle smirked at him, "Go upstairs. I can do my own courting."

Daryl went upstairs. Carol was already in bed, a book in her hands. A single electric lamp on by the bedside. He had a list of things he needed to talk about but Carol smiled at him and he knew that talking would come later.

He shut the door behind him and took the time to lock it. He kicked off his city boots and started unbuttoning his shirt. Carol put her book on the table beside her bed. He remembered to put the shirt on the chair instead of the floor. He did leave the jeans on the floor and he was naked by the time he got to the bed.

"Don't turn the light off." Daryl pulled the bed clothes back. "You're overdressed."

Carol bit her lip, "Can't say that about you." Her eyes roamed him concentrating a bit on his rapidly hardening dick. Her pale skin was slightly flushed and he wanted to see all of her. Drink her in the way she was him, "Fair is fair, your turn."

Carol slid out of bed. He knew she was self-conscious about the scars that having a baby and life with Ed had left her. He had scars of his own. He was both scarred and a jackass. Didn't make you unlovable.

She slowly drew her nightgown over her head. She might be doing it slowly because she was reluctant to shed that outer garment but damn it was even more erotic that way.

Carol Everdene stood before him naked as the day she was born. Small firm breasts and white creamy skin except for her center. Long slender legs that he liked wrapped around him as they came together. "You're beautiful."

He kissed her and she opened her mouth to him. His dick pressed against her and his hand moved from her side to her center. It was warm and wet but not quite there yet. He wanted to do something that he had never done before. Something more intimate that would please her.

She liked the touch of his hand there and he could bring her to climax that way. "Let's lie down."

She pulled away from him and got in bed automatically bringing the bedclothes up to cover herself. He got in beside her and ushed everything away until he could see all of her. He began to make love to her. His dick wanted what it wanted and it wanted it now.

Carol was ready but he dallied a little longer sucking at her nipples. It was time. He began to meander his kisses down her body until he was at her center. He looked up at her, "Do you trust me?"

She nodded, "You wouldn't ever hurt me." Carol looked puzzled though and Daryl decided it didn't matter that he might not to this thing perfectly. She wouldn't know what good was.

He positioned himself at her center and moved her legs over his shoulders. He was doing this because supposedly it was wonderful for the woman but it was also kinda exciting. He pushed his mouth toward her and let his tongue roam. Carol was tense but when he found that small important part of her with his tongue that his fingers knew was the mother lode of her pleasure Carol arched toward him. He concentrated his tongue on that and it wasn't long before she climaxed.

Daryl wanted to finish in her but he wasn't sure how this worked now. He moved to lie beside her. Carol had a bemused looked on her face. Somewhere between pleased and confused. He kissed her and wondered if she could taste herself.

She inched closer to him and touched his dick which was starting to weep a bit. "I want you inside me."

That was enough for Daryl. He was more than ready himself. He thought he would come quickly once he was sheathed inside her but he found himself holding back to bring Carol with him again. He didn't last forever but he didn't need to. She wanted this too and he pounded into her with a little less care than usual. She climaxed and seconded later he finished inside her.

They both stared at the ceiling while they caught their breath. He peeked over at her, "You okay?"

Carol continued to find the ceiling fascinating which reminded him of the way Merle had looked at the stars tonight. Finally, "It was amazing. Does that make me unnatural?" She seemed a little upset.

Daryl kissed her shoulder, "You ain't unnatural. I wanted to do that. You enjoyed it."

She edged closer to him. "I love you, Daryl Dixon."

He reminded her, "Oscar wants us to come out to the ranch house tomorrow. He'll have the windows in and he'll give us an update on what we need to buy. Felipe will run the ranch while we finish the house."

They talked about the house for a while and his hiring a foreman. He asked about her paintings and how Sophia was doing on the piano. Eventually they got around to talking about Merle.

Carol seemed to know that Merle was in love with Delcia which didn't surprise Daryl. Not much got by Carol and Merle wasn't exactly subtle.

Carol was decisive, "He's in love with Delcia and has been for some time. She's got feelings for him too but Delcia won't let herself give into her emotions. She sees all the misery that could come from them being together and is not letting herself dwell on the happiness that she is denying them."

Daryl grinned and bit her ear gently, "I can think of a few things that she is denying."

Carol wasn't going to be distracted, "I like Delcia, but she is stubborn. I think this trip will decide how this works out. They'll spend time together but they will also be out there in the public eye. Not everyone will mind their own business."

"How excited is Sophia about the trip?
"She is wound up like a clock. I'm looking forward to it too. Have you ever been there?"

"I was always too busy with the ranch, but I'm glad that I'm going now with you and Sophia. Merle says that the sunset is the best part. You can paint and maybe Sophia and I can hike around the rim during the day. Better make sure she has some britches with her and some sturdy shoes. Merle has rented several cabins for us. We're going to have a great time." Daryl was surprised at how excited he was about the trip. Maybe loosening his hands from the reins of Caryl ranch was changing him already.

Carol teased him, "You are sounding so fatherly. Reminding me to pack britches for Sophia."

"I want to adopt her once we're married. Is that going to be okay with you and Sophia?"

Her face grew serious, "If that was you want or is that what you think I want?"

Good question. Sophia had spent most of her life with Ed. Probably loved him even because Daryl knew too well that you wanted to love your father. It was natural to love them even when you feared and hated them. Daryl was asking if he could be Sophia's father and it wasn't like kids came with an owner's manual. "It's what I want. She's a great kid and I love her. Now I don't know how to be a daddy but I'll make you do all the hard stuff."

"It's okay then. You obviously know how to be a father." Carol patted his chest. "I'll wait until we're married to talk to Sophia about adoption."

"You are going to marry me? Don't be thinking that you don't have to buy the cow if you get the milk free. Sophia is old enough to know that I sleep with you." Daryl was teasing but it did seem like Carol took the getting married part a little too casual at times. Didn't most women bore the hell out of everyone with weddings?

Carol pinched his nipple not at all gently, "It would be more like not buying the bull if you are getting serviced for free. You being the bull and me being the fertile cow. We're getting married in two months. I have it all planned but if you want all the details."

Time to change the subject. He didn't want to know details right now. "Is it unnatural that you calling me the bull makes me want to service you. You fertile cow you." Daryl was a little embarrassed to admit it but his dick had perked right up up at the nipple pulling and being called a bull.

Carol huffed, "You just called be a cow."

Daryl kissed her "I'm a bull and I can't help myself. You make me mad with desire and I must have you. You are the only cow I want in the pasture. This bull only wants you."

She kissed him back and their tongues teased each other. She pulled back, "I wouldn't mind if you did that thing again."

"I wouldn't mind either."

AN

Next chapter will concentrate on the trip. I haven't forgotten about Phillip Blake but he hasn't gone away. Unfortunately.

The song that gave me the title is perhaps too sweet and sentimental for modern times, but this story is set in 1900 and it seemed right for that time. Daryl and Merle have both found true love but that is where the story really starts.

Daryl has lessons to learn. He loves Carol but he has spent a lifetime alone. The ranch consumes all his time and he has little left over for his family. He's insecure about his ability to be a good husband and father, but he's trying.

Merle does love Delcia and he is willing to face the challenges that their being together will bring.

This story is different but there is such freedom in an alternate universe story. You get to change reality and I like being able to change date and location.