Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related…
Chapter 11: Prepping for Funny Farm Thanksgiving…
The next day Edward apologized to me and I told him what had happened the day before. But I could feel a tear in our marriage that wasn't going to mend anytime soon. For one thing he did not want to go to my parents for Thanksgiving.
"Can't we just stay at the city and go my parents," Edward whined on Sunday morning when he realized I got our suitcases from our storage locker in the basement.
"We did that last year and we have plans with your folks the day before Thanksgiving," I reminded him. I frankly had no desire to relive Friday's dinner on Thanksgiving.
Edward pouted when he realized I wasn't backing down. Over the week he went from being pouty to downright surly. Especially when Garrett kept crank calling him to see if anyone needed a CFO in the box.
"Can't they come here," he asked frustrated on Tuesday when I came back from the laundry mat downstairs with our clothes.
"Of course not – Alice is 7 months pregnant," I retorted, reminding him that he used that same excuse when I pregnant with the twins to get out of having to go to Jersey. Edward was starting to remind me of that Sex and the City guy who refused to leave Manhattan.
Irritated beyond belief, I asked, "Edward what is this really about?"
"Jasper just got a promotion and Jake's going to be there," he reminded me.
Ah, I thought, getting to crux of the issue. My first and only boyfriend before Edward, Jake, was going to be there. Jake and I hadn't broken up in a blaze of glory or anything like that. Our breakup had been mutual. We had started dating at the end of our 11th grade year, around the time Jasper started to date Alice.
Our problem had been that I had been accepted to college at UCLA and Jake had no desire to leave the area. He worked as a mechanic in my dad's shop and had hoped to buy him out eventually.
I had been willing to try the long distance thing but Jake had reservations. As he pointed out we both would be doing different things and leading different lives. After a lot of discussion we agreed to break up at the end of the summer. I'm not going to lie and say we were best friends after our break up –things were definitely awkward for a while – but eventually we got comfortable enough to have a friendship again.
The awkwardness went away after Jake met Vanessa, a dental hygienist, during a trip to the Dominican Republican with his buddies. They got engaged about a year before I met Edward and Vanessa personally brought over an invitation to their wedding. Now some would say that this was a catty move on her part but there wasn't an insincere bone Nessie's body. Jake had achieved his goal and had bought my dad's shop. And now Edward wasn't working and I was supporting us.
Now this would be upsetting for a number of reasons. However not the ones you might think. When I had first bought Edward he had made an ass of himself.
8 years ago…
"Hey babe," Edward said getting off the NJ Transit train.
"Edward," I squealed running up to him. He laughed as I jumped into his arms. Celebrating a holiday as a couple was a major step in any relationship. It was a statement of how committed you were with that person. Especially when that person elected to meet your family for the first time during a major holiday like Edward had.
It had been a few weeks since that disastrous brunch with Edward's family and now it was his turn to meet my family. His family had elected to celebrate Thanksgiving yesterday since his brother wanted to go to the Islands for a long weekend with his new wife. Something about wanting to get her barefoot and pregnant. I tuned out with the mental picture of Tanya grieving the loss of her cigarettes and vodka during a pregnancy. Either way that meant Edward was free to spend the holiday with us.
"Hmm – you smell good," he said kissing the top of my head. For a brief moment I considered getting a room and having my way with him before dinner.
"Thanks so do you," I said hugging him close.
"Are your folks at home," he asked pulling his duffle bag over his shoulder.
"Yup – my mom took pity on me," I replied, giggling at my dad's expression when he realized he wasn't coming to "welcome" Edward.
"Great," Edward growled, puling me in for a deeper kiss, "I missed you so much."
"Me too," I answered. Lately we had been talking about moving in with each other. Or rather me moving to Manhattan. Edward was complaining about how hard it was for me to leave at night. However we had only been dating for a few months and this was the first time he was meeting my folks. Needless to say I was excited and just wanted everything to go well.
"So who all is coming to this event," he asked as we got into the car.
"My parents, Alice, her fiancé Jasper – we went to school together," I reminded him. Edward nodded remembering the story of how they met. "Oh Jake might be stopping by for dessert."
Edward got stiff for a minute. "Wait – Jake your ex-boyfriend," he asked.
"My newly married ex-boyfriend who is coming with his wife and their honeymoon picture," I replied.
"Oh," Edward said quietly. That caught me off guard. This was honestly bothering him. I hadn't even thought about it since every time we went out there seemed to be some girl staring wistfully at Edward. Jake and his family had always stopped by since we were kids. Our dads were old army buddies.
"Edward – I'm sorry – we can leave if you want after dinner," I said quietly.
"Don't be ridiculous," he said with a tight smile, "Every thing is fine." To make his point, Edward gave me a kiss as we drove into my parents' driveway.
"Are you sure," I asked quietly.
"Of course – it just caught me off guard," Edward said shrugging it off, "Hey who would have thought there was all this space?" He seemed to have moved on from Jake and was now concentrating on my neighborhood.
"You should leave the isle of Manhattan sometime Mr. Hudson," I replied dryly, thinking of Edward's xenophobic aversion of leaving the city.
"Nah – I doubt you can get chicken fried rice at 3:00am here," Edward said with his trademark grin, "Hold up a minute."
With that he got out of the car and opened my door. "Thanks," I said, "But I could have got that.
"Don't be silly ," he said getting grabbing his bag and pulling a bouquet of flowers out.
"Nice touch," I told him, opening the front door, "Ma – I'm back."
My mother came out in her Kiss the Cook apron that she had bought some school fund raiser.
"Edward – welcome," my mother said hugging him. Edward was a little surprised but hugged her right back.
"It's a pleasure Mrs. Swan," he said handing her the flowers.
"It's Renee – we're not formal here," she replied, "Charlie – Jasper – Edward is here!"
My sister came bouncing out of the corridor with Jasper. "Edward – good to meet you," Alice squealed throwing her 4'11 body at him.
"A pleasure," he said amused.
"You'll settle for a handshake right," Jasper smirking at his fiancée's excitment.
""Works for me," Edward said laughing, putting his hand out.
"Come then – we have a tradition – the ladies cook while we watch football and then we clean," Jasper said escorting Edward to the living where my dad was housed currently with his beer and his shotgun.
"Edward – hi," Charlie said getting up, putting the gun on the floor.
"Dad," I exclaimed – shocked that he would do something like that.
"Mr. Swan," Edward said like there wasn't a weapon in the room.
Charlie blinked and laughed, "Army or Navy," he asked pointing at the TV.
"Army – you gotta love the tenacity," he said without missing a beat.
"See Bella – Edward had a sense of humor – go help your mom," my dad said sitting back down, "Call me Charlie, Edward."
Alice pulled me to the kitchen. "I stole Edward's number from your phone and gave him some pointers," she explained, "I figured he was going to have enough problems fitting in here."
"Oh," I said realizing that Alice had taken pity on me, "Thanks."
"Anytime," she replied hip checking me.
Edward fitted in seamlessly with my family. He complimented my mom on the dinner and discussed small businesses with my dad and gave them both some advice on conservative retirement plans. In other words he was being the perfect boyfriend. He asked my sister about her classroom and Jasper about his psychology dissertation. He also asked about their upcoming wedding.
Everything was fine until Jake showed up with Nessie. Nessie had been 3 grades behind us in school. She and Jake had reconnected at on beach when they were both in vacation a couple of years ago and realized they had a lot in common. Jake's plan was to eventually buy my parents out and he and Nessie were going to run the garage like my folks did.
Jake showed up with Nessie during dessert and coffee. "Bells," he said greeting me, coming into my parents' living room.
"Hey – Jake – Nessie – how was Hawaii," I replied getting up to hug them.
"Amazing," Nessie replied. They both had their Hawaiian tans and were glowing.
"Edward, these are my friends, Jacob and Nessie," I said as way for introductions.
"Pleasure," Edward said stiffly to Jacob's outstretched hand.
Jake just glanced me quickly and smiled at Edward, "Please call me Jake, it's a pleasure to meet you finally. Bella loves talking about you."
Edward just nodded and smiled a little at me. "Nessie – where are your photos," Alice squealed. She and Jasper had been thinking about going to Hawaii too for their honeymoon.
Nessie grabbed them out of her purse and we started to at the photos with Jacob and Nessie told us the story behind them. Until Edward decided to join the conversation and his upper class roots came right out illustrating how far out of his league I was.
"That's the National Volcanic Forest," Edward stated, chugging his beer.
"Yeah – have you been there," Nessie asked politely.
"Yes – my family likes to get away to some place warm in February. Fiji, Tahiti, Brazil, Hawaii," he added almost condescendingly. Then Edward started on an hour description of the vacations his family had taken. Not just the destination but accommodations as well. Apparently it was first class all the way in the Cullen household.
Finally Jasper spoke up, ever the peacemaker, "Sounds like you have some really great memories."
"Hawaii is pretty magical," Nessie said linking her arm with her husband, "We certainly enjoyed it."
Edward had the good grace after that to keep his mouth shut. Alice taking pity on me turned it the talk to her wedding and the things we were going to look for at Michael's tomorrow.
Jake and Nessie left shortly after and it was time for me ta take Edward to the train station. He had clearly out worn his welcome. Jake pulled me aside before he left. "Bells – don't take this the wrong but how serious are you with this guy," he asked quietly.
"Somewhat," I admitted through that display of excess was shooting warning bells in my head.
"Oh shit," Jake muttered, "Look just be careful – he is as far away from us as they come. And I'm not saying this as a jealous ex."
I nodded knowing that was the truth. Jacob was as into Nessie as Jasper was with Alice and I thought Edward was with me. "Thanks – I will – congratulations again Jake," I said giving him a hug.
A throat cleared and I saw Edward with his arms crossed behind me. "Good to meet you," Jake said extending a hand.
"Likewise," Edward said tersely, shaking his hand. He was holding my coat in his other hand.
Jasper and Alice said goodbye to us. We got in the car and headed back to the train station.
"You haven't said two words since we left your parents' house," Edward said as I turned on the street.
"What's there to say," I replied furious with how he acted.
"Well say something – I thought it was pretty good dinner," he replied.
"It was until you decided to one-up Jake," I retorted, my voice raising, "Then you just acted like a prick!"
"Bella – I love you," Edward stated, "I'm sorry if I don't feel comfortable with you ex in front of me!"
"Jake is like family – beside I seem to run into ex-girlfriend of yours every other week," I yelled, "How do you think that makes me feel!"
"It's different," Edward yelled back, "I didn't have exactly have an in depth, intimate, relationship with them!"
"So the fact they were your fuck buddies is supposed to make me feel better," I hissed turned into the transit parking lot, "And you had to be act like an ass around my parents! Do you see the way they were looking at you?"
"So what are you saying," Edward asked looking at his bag.
"Maybe we need to talk about it when I get back to Staten Island on Sunday," I replied picking at a hang nail.
Edward just looked at me and snorted, "You know what - fuck this – I'm out of here. I don't need this shit," he said slamming out of the car.
"Good riddance asshole," I called out as he closed the door. If there hadn't been any passengers standing outside, I probably would have pushed up some sludge leaving the parking lot.
I drove back to my house in a stony silence, tears streaming down my face. My mom and Alice had gone to bed since we were all supposed to be up 3:00 am for Black Friday. My dad was watching football again on ESPN when I came in.
"Hey Dad – I'm just going to bed," I told him.
My dad took one look at me and asked, "Why don't you sit with me for a minute sweetie?"
"I'm really tired," I told him.
"That might be but I want to talk to you about Edward – it will only take a second," he told me.
"Don't worry about it – I broke up with him," I said wanting to escape the inquisition.
"Now why would you do that," Charlie asked, "That guy is head over heels for you. He couldn't keep his eyes off you the entire evening."
"Daddy he acted like an ass during dinner," I replied.
"He acted like an ass when your ex-boyfriend showed up," my dad pointed out, "He doesn't strike as the type who stays friends with his ex-girlfriends. I'm not saying what he did was appropriate but he'll learn. Especially the place Jake has in your life."
I nodded and gave Charlie a hug. "Thanks Dad – but I don't think Edward is coming back," I told him.
Charlie chuckled, "Don't be surprise – ask your mom about the time she tried to make me jealous of Joey Reilly."
I snorted remembering the story. My mom had tried to get my dad's attention by flirting with Joey Reilly and he got so upset that he wouldn't speak to her for a month. It took her a month of groveling to get back into his good graces.
"Thanks Dad but don't bet on it – love you," I told him.
"Love you too honey," he called out returning to his game.
I went to bed feeling miserable. It was the first time that Alice didn't have to wake me up for Black Friday. I was already lacing up my boots when she nodded on my door.
"Ready," she asked surprised that she didn't have to bribe me with Starbucks.
"Yup – come on – don't you need to buy wedding favors at Michaels," I asked hoping that talking about her wedding would keep the Alice inquisition at a minimum. It worked, Alice started talking about special Michael's had on lace.
We pulled into the lot when Alice asked, "Hey isn't that Edward?"
I looked up in shock and saw a sheepish Edward standing there with a coffee carrier.
Edward and I made up that morning but he had a valid point. Yeah – I did run in his exes but he wasn't inviting them into family gatherings. Edward also realized that not only did he act like an ass he had to do a lot of damage control. It some time before he lost the pompous reputation. Jasper kept it light around him. Jacob made it point to keep it short and sweet which suited Edward fine since he still didn't trust him.
I took another deep sigh, knowing that Edward's real problem was that Jake had finally realized his dream of taking over my father's garage and Edward was out of work. "Edward, you're being ridiculous. You're not the first person to lose a job and you won't be last," I told him, like I would with Melody or Geoff.
Edward just shot me a look but thankfully didn't say anything else.
The next morning, the next morning I was in the office. My plan was to leave as soon as I got Jessica out the door. She had a flight out to Phoenix to visit her mother for the holidays and was due to be out by 4:30. I had planned to be at my in-laws for our early Thanksgiving dinner by 5:30. Edward's job other then not pissing me off was to make sure that he and the twins were there by 5:30 with the pecan pie that I had made the night before. Carlisle had a sweet tooth and loved my recipe.
Jessica came and around 9 and gave us a cursory wave. "Bella remember I need to be checked into my flight," she called out.
"Already done," I called back. It had been the first thing I had done this morning when I came in after watering her plants. I wasn't kidding when I said my goal was to have Jessica out the door by 4:30.
"Great," she called back going to her office. Jessica seemed like she was in a good mood, the stress of the previous week finally evaporating.
Until 10:00 when she called me up. "Bella you messed up my ticket," she screeched on the phone.
"What – no – I double checked everything," I exclaimed remembering the painstaking detail I took to book that flight. Everything from the times to the specific seat she wanted, I even doubled checked that when I checked in her today. I also had been monitoring the flight delays.
"You messed up my name," she screeched.
"Wait," I said pulling up the e-ticket to make sure I hadn't done something stupid like forget an S in her name. The ticket displayed Jessica Stanley MD. With two S's.
"Jessica your ticket says your name Jessica Stanley," I told her.
"Exactly – that's the problem – that's not my legal name," she shouted. I looked at the receiver and shook my head. If Jessica wasn't her real name then who the hell was I working for?
"That's not your legal name?" I asked, "What is your legal name?"
"Irina – don't you know that – check my credit card," she hissed.
I hadn't never seen Jessica's (or should I say Irina's) credit card. She claimed that a former assistant stole that card and so she only gave the number out so no one could take a copy of her card.
Taking a deep breath I said, "Jessica, I have never seen your credit card. Is Jessica your middle name?"
"No – Margaret," she replied coldly like I was the idiot for not knowing her fully hidden name that had no relationship to the one she actually used.
"So your real name is Irina Margaret," I asked.
"Yes and if that name isn't on my ticket I won't be able to get on my flight," she yelled hanging up the phone. I could hear the phrase 'Fix this" in my head as I dialed Delta's phone number.
Luck was on my side as I managed to find a sympathetic agent who was able to correct the ticket name, no questions asked. For a moment I was concerned about the security but bit my tongue. After a couple of minutes while we waited for the tickets to be reprocessed he let it slipped that his boss was a dick too and wished me luck.
I refreshed my computer screen and Irina Stanley now graced my screen. I pressed print and was going to give it Jessica aka Irina when another thought accorded to me. What the hell was the name on the grants? Because if she was using the wrong name on the grant we were in serious trouble. Grabbing the binder I took a look and realized that the Jessica's fake name graced the grant. Fuck, I thought, Fuck, fuck, fuck. We were fucked. In bold Times Roman font, Jessica Stanley, MD stood out in power letters. For a brief moment I wondered if Jessica aka Irina had purchased her medical degree from the Krusty Klown School of Medicine.
"Lauren," I asked quietly, "what is Jessica's real name?"
Lauren looked at me like I had a second head. "Jessica – what are you are talking about," she asked.
"Think again," I snorted, "It's Irina Margaret!"
Lauren turned pale as she realized that everything they had done had been under 'Jessica Stanley'.
"Don't worry Lauren, the administration upstairs didn't catch it either," I told her getting it up with the new boarding passes.
I knocked on the door and didn't wait for Jessica to answer. "I corrected the name issue," I told her walking and laying the ticket on her desk. I dared her to correct me.
Jessica aka Irina looked at the document and pursed her lips. "You know Bella I pay you to make my life easier," she said finally.
"I'm aware of that Jessica," I replied, "But you never told me that Jessica was not your given name. In fact Lauren didn't know that. All your federal paperwork is going to need to be changed."
"What," she sputtered, "My mother is the only one who still calls me Irina."
"The problem is that under the Patriot act you have to use list your legal name," I emphasized, feeling sick over the work I needed to do now to correct the mistake. That's why you hired me dumb ass, I thought, to save your ass from stupidity, Bitchella coming out to play for a minute.
"Look Jessica," I told her, "we have two choices you can either change your name legally or we need to file updates to your grant."
"My mother would kill me if I did that," Jessica aka Irina growled at me.
"Then I guess I need to change the paperwork," I told her, "I'll get it started today and completed by Monday."
"I think you need to get it done today," Jessica aka Irina told me.
"Jessica – it's the Wednesday after Thanksgiving," I implored with her, "No one is going to be open. We're the only people left in the research building." One of the reasons I had wanted a research job was so I could get holidays off. Not a common occurrence in the medical world.
How Jessica aka Irina wasn't having it. Not at all. She just glared at me. "You need to do your job and since you've decided to bring up this issue you need to correct it now," she said.
Fuming I turned around and went back to my desk and grabbed the notebooks holding the grant applications. Lauren very wisely stood out of my way and whispered a meek sorry to me. I just shook my head and got working. I knew if I gave Lauren any of this to do she would notify Jessica aka Irina. That was the last thing I needed.
About 11:30 Jessica aka Irina decided to treat the whole office to pizza and told me to order some. I put an order on line with Papa John's and had Rose and Emmett get when it arrived. I just didn't have time to get it and set it up in Jessica aka Irina's office.
I was need deep in NIH paperwork when she came into my office. Lauren kept out of my hair, not wanting to antagonize me for a change. "You hungry," she asked quietly headed to Jessica's office.
I shook my head, not looking up from my paperwork. "No – I need to be out here by 5:00 – I have an early Thanksgiving with my in-laws," I told her.
She nodded and left. A few minutes Jessica aka Irina rapped her fingers at my doorway. "The pizza is here," she stated like she had discovered the solution for world poverty.
I nodded, "Lauren told me."
"Well aren't you going to join us," she asked.
"No time – I have a family gathering at 5:30," I told her.
"I think you need be there – the others are talking," Jessica aka Irina said expectantly, "I have HR coming up on Monday and I don't want to have to tell Shelly how uncooperative you are."
Fuming, I counted to ten, trying to not to think of all the crap I had been through in the last few weeks. "Okay," I told her getting up, "Let it not be said that I'm uncooperative."
Walking into the Jungle aka Jessica/Irina's office I made my way to the table where the others were already seated and grabbed a slice of cheese pizza. I gave them all a terse smile and took a large bite. It was juvenile but given all the stress I was currently under, I didn't give a damn. This day just sucked alright and I had too many of them lately.
I kept quiet as everyone spoke of their holiday plans. Rose and Emmett were planning to go visit her parents on Long Island. Emmett was from tiny place in Washington called Forks. I never heard it and had to wonder if the adjacent town was called Knives. Lauren was going to her family in Boston and Angela was going upstate to see her folks as well. She looked pale, nibbling on her pizza. For a moment I felt uneasy looking her. I knew that Jessica had yelled at her earlier in the week for not arranging flights to California for some subjects to come in.
For a moment I wondered if Jessica aka Irina was the mousey girl in high school who wanted to be part of the in-crowd. Long and short – no one wanted to be in that office. Everyone wanted to finished up and leave and I was only brave or stupid enough to say something.
Jessica aka Irina was babbling about the holidays and we just looked at each other as she droned on. Finally after half an hour she let us go back to our desks. Around 4:15 my phone rang announcing Jessica aka Irina's town car had arrived. "Thanks James - I'll get her now," I told him and buzzed her office, "Jessica your is here."
"Ok – have Emmett come to my office – I need some help to get down to the car," she told me.
"No problem," I replied rolling my eyes. I had a feeling that Jessica aka Irina had a crush on him even through she was old enough to be his mom.
Emmett graciously got up and helped Jessica to the car with her bags. Rose went with them to Jessica's disappoint. They were planning on hitting the train to Long Island after she left. Lauren had left shortly after lunch, of the perks of being a suck-up. I was the only left at the office and I had a number of documents I still had to change. The crappy part of this was there was really nothing to until Monday. Jessica and Cindy were gone. There was no left to sign off on the work. This truly something that could have waited. I everything ready to go by 5:00 with 30 minutes to spare. So much for having time to go get a book from Barnes and Noble on the way to my in-laws. I had really looked forward to getting some reading done in the car that had nothing to do with my job or child rearing. Shutting off my desk light I look one more look at Jessica aka Irina's calendar for Monday. I was putting together her schedule card when I realized she had HR appointment to discuss me.
"Fuck," I cursed, putting the schedule card on her desk. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.
AN: So I know – a lot in this chapter. For any naysayers out there – that bit with name actually happened to me. Definitely the worse job I ever had. Thanksgiving is next!
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read/review/follow/favorite this story. I apologize for not updating faster.