Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing. Here is another chapter for you! I didn't want to make you wait. :)
Chapter 11
"Hey," Luke pulled Mara aside outside the cafeteria, "that went well."
Mara took a deep breath, "No one heckled."
"No," Luke placed his hands on her hips and pulled her forward a bit. While the act itself would have the desired effect of promoting their relationship to onlookers, she could feel the unease in his gestures, "they were all very happy for us."
"You mean for you," she mumbled back, wondering why it was so hard for him to hold her, was she that unwanted? Why did she let herself care? "Let's face it, everyone's been waiting for the next Skywalker to come around so that they will have another 'golden boy'."
She almost didn't notice his fingers tighten into her flesh as the look in his eyes was beyond tense. "Any child of mine will choose his own path and it will have nothing to do with him being my son."
"Keep telling yourself that," she laughed and pulled away from him. "Like it or not, but it seems our destiny is not ours to control."
With that she left him speechless, standing in the middle of the hall. It probably wasn't the nicest thing she could have done, pointing out what was surely a hidden fear, but she still felt like crap from her morning session in the 'fresher and he was just too damn perky.
If she was miserable, so should he. It was petty, but she couldn't stop herself.
Nothing in her life was under her control anymore.
Mara was also lost. She couldn't remember where Cilghal's med ward was. Just one more aggravate to pile on.
Standing in the middle of the hall she saw that no one was around to help her or to see her blunder. Tears welled up behind her eyelids and all she wanted to do was sink to the floor and cry. The worst part was she didn't really know why.
Gathering herself as weakness would not be tolerated, Mara soldiered down the halls and stumbled across the med ward.
"Took your time," Cilghal said cheerfully as Mara entered.
"Nothing wrong with a healthy stroll after breakfast," she played up.
Cilghal gestured for her to sit in a multi-form chair, one which could be flattened into a med-bed for exams. "About breakfast, you didn't eat much I noticed."
"Wasn't hungry," she still felt the metallic twinge at the back of her throat from throwing up that morning.
"Sickness that bad," the healer asked as she tapped her fin against a control board. A machine lowered right above Mara's head and started to run a scan over her body.
"I can't seem to keep anything down," Mara confessed. "A little after mid-day I begin to starve and crave and I eat and eat, but in the morning… it all comes back up."
"Do you know why you crave certain foods?" the Mon Cal approached her.
"My boy eats as much as Luke does?" she managed a weak laugh.
Cilghal gave a little chuckle of her own. "You are eating for two, yes, but also, your body and the baby need certain proteins and vitamins. It tells you by having you crave a food that is high in that substance."
"So, my cravings for delia sausages are because I need lots of protein?" She hadn't considered that there might be a point to what her body was doing to her.
"It also has a few essential vitamins, but yes, that could be it," Cilghal walked back over to her control panel and brought up some images that looked like a kid's painting but the healer seemed to understand them.
"Can you tell me what you have been craving the most?" Cilghal asked as she tapped at the image, bringing up others.
"Sure," Mara shrugged, "there are the delia sausages, curients, polia, and quille pasta with smallows."
If it was possible, the healer's bulbous eyes got wider. "Quille with smallows?"
"Don't look at me," Mara threw her hands up in defense, "it's the kid's idea of a late night snack!"
"I can't even begin to imagine the taste," she shook her head.
"You don't want to," Mara groaned.
"Well," Cilghal cleared her throat and walked back over, "so far I find no complications, but I don't want you physically exerting yourself."
"I'm pregnant," Mara leveled her eyes at the Mon Cal, "I don't think lightsaber practice is on my dance card."
"I'm talking in general, Mara," Cilghal was just as stern. "The level you pushed yourself to before was fine, but it wasn't conducive to childbirth. Had you been in an intimate relationship I doubt you would have been fit enough to conceive at all."
Mara was slightly shocked at the news, even though it should have been welcomed information. "What do you mean, not fit?"
"The human body has been known to have a mind of its own," Cilghal explained. "It can block out pain, make us eat what it needs, and if it doesn't believe the body is capable of completing a pregnancy, as in high stress levels, low weight, and extreme physical exertions, then it will not let the body conceive."
"Unless it's forced too…" Mara mumbled as she considered the fact that even her own body believed her unfit to be a mother.
"The body only cares about the physical factors," Cilghal placed her fin on Mara's shoulders, "not the mental. The Force believed you were ready to bear the Chosen One, so it overwrote the body's natural commands."
The weight of the healer's words fought through Mara's thoughts. Her body wouldn't let her have a baby, but the Force did it anyway. The Force came to the conclusion that Mara was fit enough to be a mother despite nature.
"Physical exertion is to be kept to a maximum of walking and lifting no loads above ten kilos," Cilghal continued. "This will mean having to let Master Skywalker and others do things for you until your body is in a condition I deem suitable. This may, of course, not occur until after the baby is born."
"Hmm?" Mara took a minute to register Cilghal's latest words. "Oh, okay. I guess."
"I'm serious, Captain Jade," she drew her fins behind her back, "you are a very capable woman, and no doubt like to do things yourself."
"Of course," Mara shot back, "how else will I make sure it's done properly?"
"Consider this as practice then," Cilghal was unfazed, "because when the boy comes along you will not be able to do everything for him. You will have to let Master Skywalker play his role as well. And in the end, as much as it hurts, a parent can never be there for everything that might happen."
A part of Mara broke when she realized Cilghal was right. Her son was a Chosen One and undoubtedly would have to travel his path alone. Lowering her eyes, "I promise, I'll try."
"Between you and me," the Mon Cal leaned forward, almost conspiratorially, "I sometimes wonder if that all we can do, despite it being a 'do not'."
Mara had to smile at the healer going against one of Luke's mantras. "Your secret is safe with me."
"I believe it is," Cilghal smiled back and then walked over to one of her work desks. "Now, let's see what we can do about that sickness."
"Is there a miracle cure?" she said flatly, knowing there wasn't, she already looked.
"Not exactly," Cilghal hit a touch key and a panel slid out of the wall. She reached in and pulled out three bottles. "I noticed a pattern in the foods you are craving and had the computer run a cross-match."
"Did it tell you I have strange food tastes?" Mara smirked.
"In its way," she chuckled, then sat the bottles on another desk, picking up a datapad and walking over to the console again. "All those foods share similar vitamins."
"You think I'm craving these vitamins?" Mara asked, always one to try to be a step ahead, even though that was more difficult as of late.
"Yes," Cilghal drew a datachip out of the console and slid it into the datapad. Sitting the datapad down on the desk, she picked up one the bottles and brought it over to her. It wasn't your standard med tablet bottle, she had seen her fair share of those. "These are supplement tablets. I want you to start taking one daily."
Mara eyed the bottle warily. "I've never had to take them before."
"I have no doubt," the healer nodded, "but right now you are consuming foods that are not settling with you, and at odd times that you are not used to. This is possibly why you have experienced such extreme sickness."
"You think?" Mara blinked, for once no sarcasm in her tone.
"I believe so," Cilghal placed the bottle in Mara's hand, "and what can it hurt?"
"True," Mara rolled the bottle over, eyeing it again. At this point she would try anything in order to stop being sick all the time.
"I'm also going to put you on a special diet," Cilghal said as she walked back over to the desk and picked up the datapad.
"I thought I'm supposed to get fat," Mara blurted.
"Not that kind of diet," Cilghal smiled, "I merely want you to avoid certain foods. This will help you and aid in the baby's growth and development."
"Oh," Mara tried to cover for her lack of thought, "of course. This is all a bit new to me."
"Don't' worry," Cilghal patted her shoulder, "even those who prepare for this often find themselves at a loss."
"Thank you," Mara smiled gratefully.
"Now," Cilghal handed Mara the datapad, "read these instructions carefully and take your supplements. I will see you again in two weeks."
After the next appointment was set, Mara gathered the supplements and bid Cilghal goodbye, thanking the healer again, for everything. Could it be that things would be getting better?
How much worse could it get.
…
"Please," Luke gestured to the chair in front of his desk, "take a seat."
"Thank you," the healer nodded and slid gracefully into the chair.
"How is Mara," Luke asked, "and the baby?"
"The baby is fine," Cilghal words lifted some of the unease off his heart. "It does not look like there will be any complications on the child's end. Not a text book example of a perfect pregnancy, but nothing that needs worrying about at the moment."
Luke was very happy to hear that the child was going to be okay and have no special needs, though he would have loved him no matter what. It was so easy to think in terms of love in reference to the child, even though it was not his own.
"As for Mara herself," Cilghal continued, "that is a whole other matter."
"Yes," Luke was brought out of his musings, "how is she doing?"
"Physically, her body is completely overstressed," Cilghal sighed. "Had she kept on like this she would have driven herself into an early grave."
Luke sighed, "I had gathered as much, in the time I've known her."
"There is also the matter of her depression," Cilghal pulled out a datapad and handed it to Luke. "There are brain-chemical altering drugs that can be used, but I believe they are best kept as last ditch efforts."
"Of course," Luke agreed as he took the datapad. He had never believed in simple 'quick fixes' as they were usually more dangerous in the long run, the hallmark of the Dark Side. Glancing at the datapad, "What am I looking at?"
"A list of some natural herbs and supplements I have given Mara for her sickness," the Mon Cal answered. "I want you to make sure she takes them, as well as stays on the diet I have placed her on. I believe that if we can make life easier for Mara by easing the sickness and making her transition as easy as possible, then the depression will right itself. After all, she survived losing her master and identity, she should be able to survive this."
"Unless this was the final blanket to break the bantha's back…" Luke mused as he read the list.
"She reacted well yesterday," Cilghal pointed out.
Luke's eyes drifted up to question the healer, "And about that…"
"I went to Corran and explained some of the situation," she confessed. "I told him how Mara was being affected by her pregnancy and the stress of coming into this environment would not be good. I told him nothing of her depression, he had already been considering that Mara might not feel welcomed here after she left last time. He took matters into his own hands and got the Masters together himself when he realized his concerns were well founded."
Setting the datapad down, Luke leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, a smile forming on his lips. "And Kam?"
"I may have talked to Tionne, who may have pointed out a possible solution to a problem her husband was already facing."
"You know, Cilghal," Luke's smile formed into a grin, "this might just work out after all."