John laid on his side with Joss wrapped snugly in his arms with his forearm nestled just under her bare breasts; her butt settled against him as he tried to behave. They had sex twice since that first time; he was sure she was going to be sore by the morning, but, he couldn't help himself. He wanted her, craved her, and couldn't get enough of her. And he still couldn't as he felt a stirring in his groin. But she had fallen asleep in his arms and she needed some rest and it also gave him some time to think about things.

He had forgotten how much he enjoyed holding a woman at night. He hadn't spent the night with a woman since Jessica. Jessica had been a cuddler. She loved having his arms wrapped around her and he loved wrapping his arms around her; pretending he could be her safest place. When he slept with Zoe he never stuck around afterwards; he never wanted too. John pulled Joss tighter as an unaccustomed feeling of never wanting to let go washed over him. He couldn't imagine just getting up, dressing, and leaving this woman.

He softly stroked Joss's skin with his fingers when he heard her whimper. John held her tight wondering if she felt his growing erection pressing against her ass. He was about to let his hand wander between her legs and caress her but paused when she whimpered again. He frowned because it wasn't a whimper of excitement or lust but a whimper of distress. John kept his hold on her firm and waited to see if she made the sound again. Her body violently trembled as she cried out in terror.

"Joss…" he murmured softly in her ear, wanting to wake her from whatever was scaring her but not frighten her further. He knew how dreams could break you down and force you to relive something you'd rather forget. He could still feel the skin of the militant under his hands as he broke the man's neck after being lucky that his gun misfired.

John was about to try to rouse Joss again when she cried out; "I don't want to die alone," and he immediately let her go realizing how horrifying her nightmare was, not wanting her to feel like she was trapped and couldn't move. She sat up with a scream her arms flailing in front of her as she grabbed desperately at her chest where she had been shot.

John sat up beside her and she shuddered as she sobbed, her left hand shaking but still pressed against her chest over the healing scar. "I'm sorry; give me a minute," she choked out as she buried her face in her other hand and her body heaved.

He didn't say a word; he simply wrapped her in his arms and let her cry, her body was in a cold sweat and he wanted to warm her, before pressing a comforting kiss to the top of her head. "I'll go get you some water." he murmured gently, moving to let her go.

"No!—just…hold me, please," she asked barely above a whisper.

John did as she asked and just held her. He held her until her body stopped shaking and she slowly pushed back to rub her eyes. "I'm sorry for making you witness that," she apologized, voice rough with emotion, and so utterly embarrassed. She hated feeling like this. She despised the helplessness that the nightmare left in her. She was alive. She was safe and yet that nightmare took her back in that alley; took her back, feeling that cold pavement beneath her, felt the blood gushing out of her and the pain ebbing until she wasn't feeling anything and it scared the hell out of her.

"Joss, stop apologizing. You have nothing to feel sorry for," he said as he tucked some of her mussed up hair back. Her eyes were still wracked with fear; her face pale but the trembling was subsiding a little. "Stay put, I'll go get you some water and we'll talk." he murmured as he brushed his lips on hers to make her feel. He knew she probably felt numb.

She reluctantly let go of him. "Can I put the lamp on?" she asked her voice growing stronger.

He knew she needed light to chase away the shadows that her nightmare created. John turned the lamp on himself and tugged his underwear back on and headed for the door. He could go get her a small disposable cup of water but he knew she could use something more substantial than that.

"I'll be right back," he said and when she nodded he turned and hurried out. John took the steps quickly and checked on Bear seeing the dog out cold, before making a beeline for the refrigerator. He grabbed a cold bottle of water before stopping at the pantry to tug out the bag of Hershey Kisses he had. Chocolate was a cure all.

He hurried to the stairs, not wanting to leave her long and took them two at a time and strode to his bedroom quickly. John found her sitting on the bed having tugged on her pajama shirt which irked him; he preferred her naked. But he was realizing Joss put a strong front up but she was still recovering from her shooting and the scar would only serve to remind her of what she just dreamt of.

"Figured you could use some chocolate too," he admitted as he held the bag of Kisses up.

Joss looked a little better and he saw a small smile flicker on her lips. "Chocolate always is a pick me up," she agreed gently.

He sat down beside her on his bed and snapped open the bottle of water for her and handed it to her. She gratefully took it and took a healthy gulp of it. John easily popped open the bag of Hershey Kisses and tugged out a couple; one for her and one for him as she set the bottle of water down on the nightstand beside her. He undid hers first handing her the piece of chocolate.

Joss watched as John popped his into his mouth. She held hers up to his lips. "I'm not hungry just yet." she admitted softly. He nodded as he opened his mouth and let her place the candy on his tongue.

He motioned for her to lean back with him and he curled an arm around her. "Tell me about it," he asked as he ate the chocolate, setting the bag beside his hip.

Joss swallowed hard as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "It's the same dream I have all the time. You'd think I'd get used to it by now," she whispered.

"No one can get used to dreaming that they die; especially when they almost did," he replied softly as he rubbed her knee soothingly, running his fingers over the scar tissue there.

"I should get past it: I'm alive. I didn't die in the alleyway but that dream twists things because I can remember lying on that cold pavement with that excruciating pain; thinking I'm never going to see my son again. And I was going to die alone. And in my dream I do. I die alone," she whispered getting choked up again.

"Did you talk to anyone about these nightmares?" he asked gently.

Joss shook her head. "No. Had I tried to get back on the force it would have been mandatory but since I was medically retired; I never went to therapy," she admitted.

Felicia had tried to urge her to still go to the police's psych consultant to just talk about it but she didn't. She hadn't needed to talk to anyone to get over what happened in Fallujah; she figured she could handle the shooting. But the major difference between what happened in Fallujah and what happened in that alleyway was that she couldn't remember past hearing the click and seeing that Marine's eyes. Everything after that was a complete and utter blank, but, the shooting…she remembered everything up till the point when she passed out just as paramedics arrived.

"What about family?"

"I didn't want to worry my mother with this, she's older and has health problems; she doesn't need me to burden her about nightmares that I should get over," Joss stated forcefully. And talking to her son was out of the question: she was his mother. Taylor did not need to know she woke up crying and in a cold sweat because she was struggling to recover over her shooting. Children leaned on their parents not the other way around.

John shifted towards her further. "There is nothing wrong with having trouble moving past something traumatic and needing someone's help, Joss," he stated.

"Says the man that shut down and ran to hide after his wife died," Joss snapped and then closed her eyes immediately wishing the words back. "I'm sorry, John, that was uncalled for."

He was quiet for a moment. "No, what you said was the truth. I did shut down. I did run to hide from the memories that surrounded me because everywhere I looked I saw Jessica and the life we had that was taken from me." he admitted. "But our circumstances are different."

"I know. I am sorry for saying that. I am just upset with myself for letting these nightmares plague me and scare me and I lashed out. I don't know what it is like to lose a spouse or lose the hope of having a child. I have a son and I have an ex-husband," she said earnestly.

He rubbed her leg comfortingly. "I don't know what it was like lying on the pavement, alone, and thinking I'm going to die alone. I had some close calls but none like that," he murmured as he pulled out a Hershey Kiss for her and undid the wrapper. This time she allowed him to plop it on her tongue welcomingly, before tugging her close.

She snuggled into his body curling into his warmth. "What was your closest?" she asked as she felt him slide his fingers through her hair. Joss had seen several scars on his body; some clearly older while he had newer ones too, which she assumed he received working at this private security firm he founded with his friend.

John stared ahead as he felt his heart clench. "The closest was the day I buried Jessica; I got drunk and was depressed and the thought of life without her was unbearable…" he whispered. He felt Joss reflectively clutch him tighter. "…I didn't want to live without her. I didn't want to learn how to." It would have been so easy for him to take a walk on the Brooklyn Bridge and never return. He would be reunited with Jessica and wouldn't have felt like he was suffocating.

"So what changed your mind?" Joss asked softly; knowing this man was telling her something deeply personal and she was honored that he felt safe with her to share this with her. It made her feel like he was gifting her with something so precious that meant more than anything money could buy.

"Someone told me that Jessica wouldn't want that," he spoke, almost in a whisper. "I didn't want to hear it but Grace was right. Jessica would hate me if I took that walk on the Brooklyn Bridge." It was the only thing that had stopped him; hearing that Jessica wouldn't want him to do it.

"Who is Grace?—is she a sister?" Joss asked softly, grateful he was opening up to her a little.

He laughed gently. She loved hearing the rumble of laughter under her ear. "Not by blood but she's most definitely a sister. I met her in Italy when I was stationed there. She was in college studying abroad; she's an artist. I stopped a man who was making unwanted advances on her. The man was drunk and he had her pinned to the wall and had a hand up her skirt until I nearly snapped it off," he admitted.

"Good thing you were around…."

John nodded. "I wanted to beat the man's ass but Grace made me stop when I laid him out with one punch. He was so drunk he crumpled like a bad hand of poker. We've been friends ever since. I liked her, she reminded me of the girl next door and was very easy to talk to," he admitted. Not that he talked a lot but Grace never pushed. "She is actually married to the friend that I went in business with."

"Oh?"

"Harold is a wonderful man, a billionaire, and treats her with respect and with love. Grace found a good man," John said.

Joss smiled. "Sounds like you're protective of her," she murmured.

"I am. Grace has a gentle nature and she was my first real friend I ever made. I'm a quiet person so I never made many friends," he replied.

Joss lifted her head so she could look him in the eyes. "I think you do fine," she countered. John was an intelligent man and offered so much to the conversation once you could find a topic he wanted to talk about.

He chuckled softly as he shook his head. "That's because I'm with you…."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

He met her gaze directly. "I told you before Joss; there's something about you that is different and I'm not sure what it is but it makes me feel comfortable around you," he explained.

Joss nodded as she curled into him again, filing that away to think over later. Right now she was tired and wanted to rest in his arms. She yawned heavily. "Let's lay down; so you can sleep," he suggested as he grabbed the bag of Kisses, placing them on the nightstand before reaching over and snapping the lamp off.

Joss gladly laid back down and snuggled into John's arms to get comfortable. And for the first time ever after her nightmare she fell asleep instantly.

John awakened to the fact that he was holding something warm and soft. And when he became aware of what he was holding that was warm and soft; he grew hard. He nearly groaned out loud at the potent effect waking up with Joss in his arms had on him. She was asleep still with her back to him and ass pressed against him. He leaned on his elbow to glance down at her sleeping face and smiled. She was out cold which made him happy that she could fall asleep and restfully after that terrible nightmare. But he didn't want her sleeping for much longer. His gaze shifted off her sleeping face and to the clock seeing it was after seven in the morning.

Bear would be very displeased if he didn't get him his breakfast and out to pee by seven-thirty. But Bear would understand if he was late a little. John pressed a kiss to her cheek and she didn't even rouse a little. He smiled. Well he would just have to get creative.

John eyed the black tee that she pulled on after the nightmare. It was large on her petite form. His eyes slid down her body as he shoved the comforter off them and twitched in response as he eyed her ass as the shirt was wrapped around her waist leaving her bare to him. He shifted so he could urge her onto her back and pushed the shirt up further to expose her breasts. He lifted his hands and palmed her breasts enjoying her nipples react immediately to his touch.

John grinned as she mumbled something as her back arched a little to press her breasts more firmly in his light touch.

"Spread your legs a little, Joss," he purred as he shifted his body so he could kneel between her legs. She subconsciously followed his order as she was still asleep but also slowly awakening. He sure hoped she loved how he planned on waking her up.

He leaned over her and lightly kissed her nipple before he teased it with his tongue. Her nipple hardened under his tongue and he rolled the other between his fingers. His mouth was enjoying her breasts but his hunger shifted as he let his knee brush her intimately. He could feel the heat ebbing there and felt the growing moisture collect against his knee as she grew aroused from his teasing. But she was nowhere near ready for what he wanted: to be buried deep inside her and dragging them to see heaven one more time before the morning brought their time together to an end.

John, with one last suckle, finally moved his head to press a kiss to the valley between her breasts then to the scar and made a path downwards. He held her hips as her lush body gently lifted to meet his lips seeking his touch. He swirled his tongue on her fevered skin before nibbling her belly button. He pressed warm kisses to her hip and then her thigh as he stretched out to lie down between her legs. John kept his attention elsewhere than where he longed to bury his mouth. He wanted to focus some loving attention on her knee. He caught some skin between his teeth in a teasing bite and she moaned. He laughed gently when her hips lifted and he shifted his focus from her knee to what laid bare before him.

"Your wish is my command, Joss," he purred as he licked her and held her down as her whole body jerked in reaction. She was wet but not nearly as much as he wanted her.

Joss moaned loudly as he settled on her. His tongue was thorough in making sure he caressed every quivering spot of her core and loved as her excitement grew. He wandered his hand down and sunk two fingers deep inside her to test her readiness and she reflectively clenched around his fingers. John allowed Joss to grind into his mouth and let her set the rhythm she wanted. He sucked gently drawing a husky and low cry from her throat.

He pressed one last kiss as his own arousal grew. John got to his hands and knees and smiled down at her as her eyes were open and staring at him. "Good morning, Joss," he purred as he urged his boxer-briefs down, before kneeling and positioned himself to enter her easily.

Joss gasped as he filled her fully, forgetting whatever she had wanted to say in reply.

He held her hips tight as he moved inside her. She matched the pace he set and soon they were moving together. John bent over her and captured her mouth with his, letting his tongue mimic his actions. Joss wrapped her arms around his neck as their orgasms built steadily and quickly; he heard her soft cry as her body tightened but he continued thrusting into her harder and faster to take them to paradise.

AN: Good morning to Joss ;D Now I know you guys are wondering WTH is going to happen now that they kind of gave into their feelings...well there is a dash of angst, some fluff, smut, maybe more smut and fluff not necessarily in that order :)

Thanks for reading!