Who You Are

by apathyempathy

Pezberry. Santana knows people don't like her but when she overhears what the glee club really think of her she's forced to confront why she is the way she is and that sometimes, the pressure of living in someone else's shadow is too much to take.

12. Chapter 12

A/N- This chapter turned into a beast, I couldn't find an easier way to split it and it's been a while since I updated so hopefully an extra-long chapter will make it up to you guys a bit?

I really appreciate all the reviews and feedback I've been getting, I know my updates have been sparse and there's been longer between them than I would like so I'm grateful for people for sticking with me. I have it all planned don't worry, it's just finding the time to get everything out of my head and into words!

Something about the combination of an evening spent watching zombie movies and actually getting a decent night's sleep meant that when Santana arrived at school the next day she was in an uncharacteristically good mood, add in the fact that Rachel had been up bright and early and waiting with two cups of coffee and Santana was in her best mood ever. It didn't even matter that she had to spend the first few hours of her day getting yelled at through a megaphone by Coach Sylvester or that some idiot freshman had stamped on her foot during a routine. There weren't even any awkward feelings at the memory of sharing Rachel's bed with her after they fell asleep watching some god awful reality show, in fact Santana would go so far as to say waking up next to the singer had been a damn good way to start the day. She was of course, trying not to read too much into that particular line of thought.

As she strode out of her final class of the day she felt Brittany fall into step with her, it was a familiar routine and it brought a smile to the brunettes face. There was still a little tension between them but Santana knew they were starting to move past it and resume their friendship. The blonde had already spent a large part of the day tell her how after her dramatic exit yesterday she had missed Mercedes yelling at Finn so loudly that Principal Figgin's had to come from his office to calm her down but it was still something of a mystery to Santana.

"I can't believe she did that." Santana said as Brittany finally finished her story, "I mean it doesn't make any sense. Wheezy was all up in my business with the rest of them telling me to back off of Rachel."

Brittany shrugged as she linked her thumbs through the straps of her backpack, "She thought she was protecting her friend-"

"From me."

"Well yeah…but that doesn't mean she was okay with what Finn said to you." The dancer tried, her frown deepening as she added, "I still wish you'd let me fill his locker with Jello."

Santana smiled softly as she chuckled, "Me too but I promised Rachel that I wouldn't make things worse, she used more words than that but I'm pretty sure that was the gist of it and a promise is a promise."

"And I'm glad to see you are sticking it." Rachel beamed as she effectively appeared from nowhere to join the two cheerios' as they meandered down the hallway. She had spent all of her free time that day in the library working on an English project and even though Santana had promised to be on her best behaviour Rachel had her concerns about everyone else. She knew that if Finn or any of the other New Directions did anything to provoke Santana then the cheerleader would probably not be able to keep her resolve for that long.

"So, what song did you pick for this week?" Brittany asked as she waved to a passing cheerleader, "Mike ask me if I wanted to help him and Tina do some song from Rent."

Rachel smiled politely as she shrugged, "I haven't actually picked anything. After everything that's happened lately I've been a little distracted-"

"Maybe you and Santana could do something?" the dancer beamed as she clapped her hands together in excitement, "I've always wanted to hear you two sing together."

Santana tilted her head in confusion as she looked at Brittany, "You think I'm going to glee today?"

"Of course." Brittany said her smile slipping as she saw her friend's expression, "You love glee club."

"Britt…" Santana sighed as she tried to ignore the crushed look on her friends face.

"She's right, Santana." Rachel intervened, "You shouldn't have to stop doing something you love because the rest of the club are acting so terribly. I completely understand your reluctance to go back, I myself have thought about boycotting, but the fact is this is out last year together and we should make it count."

Brittany nodded as she looped one of her arms through Santana's, "I know how much you love to sing, please?"

Santana shot her friend's a playful glare as she caved, "Alright, fine I'll go."

"Yay!" Brittany beamed as she bounced up and down, her enthusiasm dampened when Santana added, "But I swear to god if any of them so much as look at me the wrong way, I'm going all Lima Heights."

The other girl nodded her smile widening again as she asked, "Did you guys hear about Sugar's choir?"

"The Troubletones." Rachel supplied a scowl on her face as she added, "It's not exactly a choir there are only three of them."

Santana scoffed, "I bet they aren't at each other's throats all the time."

"Do we have to talk about this?" Rachel asked her voice tinged with sadness that did not go unnoticed by Brittany.

"What's wrong?"

Santana rolled her eyes, "Nothing is wrong Britts-"

"Except someone wants to defect to The Troubletones." Rachel interrupted, earning herself a glare.

"What?"

"I never said I was going to." Santana defended as she kept her gaze focused straight ahead, "I just…I love to perform and it's not like I get to be out front that much, maybe if I was with The Troubletones I'd get my chance. Besides, it might be nice to get away from all the hate for a bit. Why should I stay with a bunch of people who don't want me around?"

Rachel shook her head, "We want you around."

"You could come with me." Santana said casually, she knew deep down that there was no chance of Rachel picking her over the New Directions.

Rachel felt her eyes widen, over the two years she had spent with the New Directions she had more than her fair share of issues with the group and she knew she had threatened to quit multiple times but when it came down to it, "I can't do that Santana. I know they act like jerks sometimes but they are good people and…I could never just leave them like that."

"I know." Santana replied with a smile as she turned to give her friend a reassuring look, "It's okay. Look, I don't even know if I'm going yet so…can we just, not talk about it anymore?"

"Okay." The singer agreed, she could see Brittany nervously chewing on her lip but before the blonde could go into any more detail about the rival group Rachel changed the subject, "So, if it came down to it, zombie apocalypse – where's your safe house?"

"A boat." Brittany replied instantly, her previous worries obviously forgotten for the minute, "Zombies can't swim."

Santana chuckled, "A boat? Where are you going to keep all the food?"

Brittany contemplated the question for a minute, "How about a cruise ship?"

"Who would you get the drive it?" Santana asked, a small frown following, "Wait, do you drive a boat? Pilot? Captain?"

"If we're living in a world where zombie's attack, then I can stretch reality enough to be able to drive a boat." Brittany beamed.

Rachel giggled, "Touché."

"What's with the zombie scenario's any?" the dancer asked, "Did San make you watch all the Of The Dead films? She always makes me watch them and then tries to act like she's not scared-"

Rachel laughed as she playfully slapped Santana's arm, "You said you were cold and that the only reason you were trying to get under my blanket was because I was warm."

"Aw, you snuggled." Brittany giggled.

"You are both ruining my badass-ness." Santana groaned as she tried to hide her grin.

Brittany shrugged, "I think it's time to admit you're kind of a softie…"

"Never." Santana stated firmly, a huge grin on her face as she shook her head, "But enough about me getting my cuddle on, what did you get up to last night?"

Rachel blushed but tried to appear nonchalant as she looked to the dancer who was currently detailing her disastrous date with a fellow dancer the previous evening. She had kind of been expecting some jealously from Brittany over the news of her potentially more than friendly cuddling with Santana but it seemed as though the blonde was taking their newfound friendship in her stride, much as Santana seemed to be taking the news of Brittany's date in hers. It surprised Rachel to see the two so open and accepting about how things had developed but she had given up hope of ever truly understanding how the cheerleader's friendship worked. With a smile on her face Rachel listened as Brittany finished explaining the world's most awkward goodbye kiss.

"So, no second date huh?" Santana quipped as she gave her friend a sympathetic pat on the arm.

Shaking her head Brittany replied, "Not a chance but on the bright side at least he learnt not to try and drink diet coke while eating a mento."

The three girls laughed but as they finally reached the choir room their happy mood was instantly dampened. Santana wished she could simply turn and leave, it wasn't as though she was running away but she knew nothing good was waiting for her on the other side of that door. No matter how optimistic Rachel and Brittany were, or how much she wanted to simply lose herself in the music Santana knew that dealing with the rest of the club was only going to leave her feeling worse.

"Come on." Brittany smiled as she opened the door and took the lead, "We can't stand out here all day, we'll be late."

That was enough of a motivation to get Rachel moving but Santana merely eyed the now open door warily, she stayed with her feet planted to the ground before Rachel reached out to take her hand and pull her in the room after her. Their entrance of course silenced the room and Santana couldn't tell if it was simply their presence or the fact that Rachel was still gripping her hand either way everyone pretty much stopped to glare at her.

"I thought you were taking a break." Finn muttered as he scowled at their joined hands.

Santana gritted her teeth as she found herself stood under the scrutiny of the group, "I changed my mind."

She could see that Finn was about to say something back but Rachel cut him off, "Can we please get through one day without fighting?"

Most of the choir nodded as they looked at the two girls and it was Mercedes who answered, "Yeah I think-"

The diva's sentence was cut short as Finn shot up from his chair, standing between the New Directions and Santana and Rachel he gestured angrily, "We're not trying to fight here Rach, we just want you to see what's going on here. Santana is using you."

"If you're going to start on this again then we're leaving." Rachel said, her shoulders tense as she clasped the cheerleaders hand.

Artie shook his head as he added, "It's true I mean…Can you really be sure she's not working for Sue? Or…"

"Or?" Santana prompted angrily.

"Maybe you're on Shelby's side." Artie replied, his eyes lighting up as though he'd finally worked out the missing piece to the puzzle, "That's it, Rachel I know Shelby's your birth Mom but I mean, she's a nationally ranked Coach who would do anything to win…"

Rachel frowned and she was about to snap back when she remembered Santana's earlier words, you could come with me. Letting go of the other girl's hand she slowly turned to look at her friend, she didn't want to believe it and she didn't, not really, but that niggling voice in the back of her head would not be silenced.

Santana took a deep breath as she caught Rachel's eye, it only took a second for her to know what the singer was thinking, "Rachel I am not-"

"How do we know it's not Rachel that's the one with the master plan?" Puck piped up as he looked between the warring parties.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Santana snapped, her loyalty automatically kicking in to defend the small girl.

"I'm only saying that Rachel knows our best chance to win Nationals this year is if everyone is on board. She knows about Shelby's choir, she knows they're going to be looking for new members…" Puck trailed off as he shrugged, "You know what they say, keep your friends close…"

Kurt frowned as he mumbled, "You did say you'd do anything to win this year…"

"This is not about Rachel!" Finn growled, obviously peeved the group were starting to turn against his ex-girlfriend as well. He couldn't believe the tables had turned so easily but casting a look at the two girl's he realised it didn't really matter who had planned what, as long as Rachel stayed with the New Directions. If she stayed not only did they have an infinitely better chance at winning Nationals but he had a much better chance of them getting back together, "But I mean it is strange, you told me that you could never forgive Santana."

"I did not say that-"

Santana blanched at the accusations suddenly flooding towards Rachel, her mind racing as she fought to keep her perspective. Rachel hadn't known about The Troubletones until recently, they had spent time together before school had even started so she couldn't have been planning it could she? But then again, maybe Shelby's group didn't matter maybe Rachel had just been trying to keep her close anyway so she wouldn't mess things up for them this year.

"Is that why you invited her to the party?" Quinn asked with a frown, a look of disbelief on her face as she added "Is that why you went after her?"

"No." Rachel shouted her eyes focused on Santana. She could see the panic edging across the cheerleaders face and she needed her to trust that she hadn't been planning anything. She knew it wouldn't take much for Santana's insecurities to outweigh reason and as the club continued to stare accusingly at her Rachel knew she was fast running out of time.

Before the singer could say anything else though Santana murmured, "Is…Is that why you were so against me leaving? You didn't want me to go to The Troubletones, you wanted me to stay here…I thought you wanted me here but…"

"It is not like that." Rachel said adamantly, her voice pleading as she continued, "You have to believe me."

"But you made me come back here after everything, even when I said I didn't want to. I came for you…" Santana replied, her voice shaking as she felt her insecurities rising up and clouding her judgement.

Rachel shook her head as she raked her hand through her hair, she cast Brittany a worried look and she could see the surprise in the rest of the club's faces. They had obviously been expecting Santana to explode with rage like she normally did but the crushed look on the cheerleader's face was a far cry from her usual demeanour, reaching her hand out to take one of her friends she tried, "Please Santana…"

"No." the cheerleader snapped as she quickly pulled her hand away and stepped back.

"Please, honey listen to her-" Brittany tried only to be cut off by her devastated friend.

Santana shook her head as she fought to keep in control of her emotions. Rachel had been the first person she had trusted in such a long time, she had told her everything. She wanted to be angry, she wanted to shout and scream but the only thing she could do was fight back the overwhelming urge to cry. She knew everyone was watching her but she couldn't bring herself to care as she managed to look at Rachel, her heart-breaking as her voice strained, "You promised me, you fucking promised me that you weren't trying to trick me…that you weren't using me. I thought you were different, how could you do this to me?"

Rachel didn't hold back her tears as she watched her friend crumble before her eyes.

"Do you hate me that much? God, I'm so fucking stupid; of course you do. You're just like everyone else." Santana said as she bit her lip, "I told you everything, everything, and this whole time you were just laughing at me!"

"Santana, no." Rachel begged as she quickly stepped forward to try and comfort her friend but she knew it was too late. The cheerleader was already moving backward, her eyes trained on the ground as she ignored the stunned looks on the rest of the clubs faces.

The classroom door swung open as Mr Schue paraded into the room, his chirpy smile disappearing the instant his eyes fell on the students splayed around the room. Setting his sheet music on the piano the teacher looked between Rachel and an uncharacteristically upset Santana, "Would someone like to tell me what's going on?"

Santana shook her head as she made a sudden move for the door; no one really had time to react before she had bolted from the room leaving a tense silence in her absence. Rachel paused, her mind already sprinting down the hallway after the other girl she couldn't bring herself to leave and let her so called friends off the hook.

"Anyone?" Mr Schue tried again, his displeased sigh cut short as he realised Rachel was curling her hands into fists at her side.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" the singer exploded, her face contorting with rage as she glared at the group.

Finn looked sheepish as he sat back down in his seat, his previous self-righteousness deflating under the small girl's anger he shot Artie an embarrassed look before staring at the floor. The rest of the group seemed to mirror his action as they too looked solemnly at the tiles beneath their feet. None of them had ever seen either girl react the way they had and it didn't take a genius to work out they had crossed a line and probably into territory they knew nothing about.

"We have to find her." Brittany said quietly as she moved towards Rachel, "Do you have your car?"

"Come on, she's just being a drama queen." Artie tried to reason as he shifted guiltily in his chair.

"You need to shut your mouth." Rachel growled as she fought to hold back her temper, "You don't know anything her so you don't get to talk about her like that, understood?"

Artie swallowed hard as he nodded and resorted to staring down at his hands.

"Do you have you car?" Brittany repeated a proud glint in her eye as she looked to the diva.

Rachel shook her head, she had let Santana drive them in that morning and without their own means of transportation she didn't give them much of a chance of finding the other girl. She figured they could walk to her house and pick up her car but every second that passed was one that Santana would be using to inevitably convince herself that she had been tricked.

"I have mine." A voice piped up as a set of feet came trotting over to the girls, "I'll drive you."

"Why would you want to help Quinn?" Rachel spat as she clenched her jaw.

Quinn didn't stop as she ushered the two girls ahead of her, "We can stand here and debate it or we can go and find Santana, it's up to you."

Not stopping to explain anything to a confused Mr Schue Rachel grabbed Brittany's arm and began dragging her down the hallway after Quinn, she wanted to question the other girls motives further but right now she was more focused on finding Santana.

As they scrambled down the front steps and out across the parking lot Brittany said, "I know you didn't do anything wrong Rachel, I can't believe they would say that."

"Thanks." The diva mumbled, her heart sinking as she wished Santana would have believed her innocence as easily.

"Santana will believe you too." The dancer added, as if able to read Rachel's thoughts, "She just…she has a hard time trusting people, you know? It's easier for her to believe people are using her for something than that they actually like her."

Rachel smiled sadly as the three got into Quinn's car, taking the passenger seat the diva clipped her seatbelt in as Quinn hit the ignition. It hurt her more than she was willing to admit that Santana would believe the lies after she had trusted the other girl wasn't plotting against her but she knew it was as start forward as that.

"We should try the park first." Brittany said as they pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road, "She likes to go to there when she's sad."

Quinn gave a small nod to indicate she'd heard but she stayed quiet, choosing instead to focus on her driving as she navigated the car towards its destination. Rachel wondered how much the two girls knew about Santana's life, she knew that the three had been friends for a while but she wasn't exactly sure how the unholy trinity worked. With Brittany and Santana it had been obvious to anyone who cared to see that they we're close but with Quinn and Santana it seemed to change inexplicably from one week to the next, they went from outright fighting to frenemies to friends and back again just as quick.

"She came here every day for a fortnight after her sister's funeral." Brittany said quietly. "She said it always helped clear her head."

Rachel saw Quinn give a sad smile as she pulled the car into a space near the park gates, "She actually dragged me here when I first found out I was pregnant. We didn't say much, I mean we were…it helped though. I came here a lot that year."

As the three got out of the car and made the way over to the small path at the entrance way it was Rachel who stated, "She'll be by the pond."

She missed the knowing smiles the two blondes shot her way as they followed her lead; she was too focused on finding her friend to see the tiny nudge Brittany gave Quinn as the blondes fell into step.

The park itself didn't cover much of an area, there was a small wooded area to one side and a pretty big playground set next to a winding path. The three girls moved in unison as they followed the path that led to the pond, an equally unimpressive expanse of water that was rarely visited by anyone other than joggers and dog walkers. Rachel figured Santana had picked it for that specific reason, Lima was such a small town that it was next to impossible to get away from crowds of people where you were bound to end up knowing at least one person. This park had been all but forgotten about since a newer and much better park had been built on the other side of town, with its adventure trails and picnic areas it attracted a lot more attention than its predecessor.

"I think I see her." Quinn said quietly as she slowed her pace and gestured to a tree by the pond.

Rachel followed the blondes line of sight and sure enough, sitting with her back against the trunk was Santana. Taking a deep breath the singer was about to make her way over when she realised her two companions had stopped, "Are you coming?"

Quinn looked to the floor as Brittany shook her head, "It's you she needs to talk to."

Rachel bit her lip as she thought for a moment, shaking her head she replied, "Maybe but she needs to know that you're here for her too."

"Are you sure?" Quinn asked hesitantly as she shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"She's right." Brittany agreed, her face setting determinedly as she looked at her friend in the distance, "She needs us. All of us."

Rachel smiled as she turned and began to make her way over to Santana, this time with Brittany and Quinn following closely behind. The nearer she got to Santana though, the more nervous she became. Normally she had no problem delivering encouraging speeches or motivational words but her mind fell blank as her feet propelled her towards her friend. She was only a few feet away when Santana looked up; her eyes bloodshot from crying were now heavy and pained as she glared at the three approaching girls.

"Hey." Rachel whispered, cringing at her less than seller opening.

Santana whipped her head back around to stare blankly at the pond, "I don't want to talk to you, any of you. Go away."

Rachel heard Brittany sigh but undeterred the singer moved forward to sit down, keeping a slight distance from Santana she was aware of the two blondes still lingering behind her but she didn't spare much of a thought to it, "Please, will you at least let me explain?"

"You don't need to explain anything." Santana spat as she crossed her arms and pulled her knees tightly against her body.

"Santana…"

"No, look I get it alright? You needed to make sure I wasn't going to do anything to jeopardise the clubs chances of winning Nationals this year and you figured the best way to do that was if we were friends." The cheerleader stated, her shoulder tense as she refused to look at Rachel, "You saw an opportunity and you took it."

"Santana-" the diva tried again, her forceful tone not even getting Santana to hesitate as she ploughed on her mind already overloading with horrible scenarios.

"Did you tell everyone how pathetic I am? I know how much everyone likes to rag on how much of a mess I am, you probably got a lot of jokes out of everything I told you-"

"Stop."

"Poor Santana, even her parents don't love her."

Rachel practically heard Quinn and Brittany recoil at the harshness of the statement and she knew they were both desperate to come up with something supportive to say. As she saw Santana about to launch into another rant Rachel took a deep breath and with renewed determination she leant forward and clasped one of Santana's hands in her own, "That is enough. Stop."

Santana blinked in surprise, her jaw tightening in anger as she glanced down at their intertwined hands.

Rachel breathed a small sigh of relief as she collected her thoughts, she had hoped she would be able to calm her friend down long enough to plead her case but she didn't think it would be as quick as that, "Do you really think so little of me that you think I would fake everything that's happened between us?"

"I…" Santana started, her words failing her as she looked down at the grass by her feet. It sounded pretty ridiculous when Rachel said it like that.

"The other day you asked me if I thought this was one of your schemes and I was completely honest with you when I told you that I never doubted you. I trust you." Rachel continued, her thumb running soothing circles against the tan hand beneath hers, "Now, I'm asking you to trust me."

Closing her eyes as she bowed her head Santana remained silent.

Rachel bit her lip as she stared at the girl in front of her, "I know it's somehow easier for you believe that I'm in this for my own benefit, I know you think that pretty much everyone is out to get something from you but I promise you, I just want to be with you. I want to spend time with you; I want to watch go to carnivals and watched stupid zombie movies on cable when we should be sleeping. I want to learn what hijo de puta means since you seem to enjoying saying it so much. I want to eat cereal and watch cartoons together and argue over who gets to choose the music in the car. Most of all I just, I want you believe me. Please."

Santana opened her eyes as she slowly turned her head to lock eyes with her friend, she made no attempt to hide the way they watered as she mumbled, "But I don't get it."

"What don't you get?"

Shaking her head the cheerleader sighed, "Why the hell do you even want to be around me? You should hate me, why don't you hate me?"

"Santana…"

Snatching her hand away the cheerleader wiped angrily at the tears rolling down her cheeks, "I've been nothing but a bitch to you since kindergarten-"

"That is not true." Rachel said quickly as she held up a hand to abruptly stop the other girl's self-deprecating rant.

Santana rolled her eyes as she realised what Rachel was alluding to, "Sharing my sandwich with you, one time, does not count."

"It did to me." The diva replied softly.

The first day of kindergarten had been nothing like Rachel had expected. When she had gotten up that morning and carefully packed her backpack with all the school supplies she had begged her Daddy to buy for her she had a very clear idea of how her day would be. None of her daydreams had involved being forced to sit on a table full of boys who ignored her or having a strange little girl accuse her of stealing her crayons. She hadn't expected her teacher to take a sudden dislike to her or to accidently trip over one of the bean bags so poorly arranged in the corner of the small room and she definitely hadn't expected to be sitting all alone on an increasingly uncomfortable chair in the lunch room while all the other children were talking animatedly around her.

Letting out a small sigh Rachel reached into her backpack and rummaged around for her lunchbox. Her Daddy had let her choose a special one with a big gold star on the front and she had watched that morning as her Dad made and wrapped her favourite peanut butter and jelly sandwich for her to take. Opening her bag the tiny girl frowned, amongst her crayons and paper where her lunch should have been was an empty space. Just as she could feel tears beginning to prick her eyes a tiny shadow feel over her table and whipping her eyes up Rachel half expected one of the mean boys from earlier to be hovering over her. Instead she was met with the nervous smile of a girl she recognised from her class.

"Hello." Rachel said a polite smile on her face as she looked at the stranger.

The newcomer offered a tiny wave in response as she eyed up the spare chair next to Rachel.

"Do you want to sit down?" Rachel asked, her eyes narrowing in confusion at the silence. When the small girl nodded Rachel quickly cleared her bag off the table and watched as the stranger carefully sat down.

Shooting Rachel a smile the girl pulled her lunchbox from her bag and busied herself organising her lunch.

Rachel watched as she pulled out a sandwich, a carton of some type of juice and a candy bar. She could feel her stomach grumbling but stayed still as the quiet girl began unwrapping her sandwich; it struck the young girl then that she had yet to introduce herself. Her Daddies always said it was important to make a good first impression, "I'm Rachel by the way, Rachel Barbra Berry. It's nice to meet you."

The girl frowned and looked at Rachel for a moment as if she was processing something then slowly she smiled and with a little shrug she pointed to herself, "Santana."

Rachel beamed, her little hands almost clapping together at the prospect of having made her very first friend. She saw Santana eyeing the empty space where her lunch should have been and with a sheepish grin she quickly mumbled, "I forgot my lunchbox, my Daddy made my favourite but I must have left it on the table when I was reorganising my things."

Santana frowned again, the same confused look passing over her features as she stared at the little girl. Looking down at her food and then over to Rachel she whispered, "Lunch?"

Rachel shook her head, "No, I just said that…oh." Stopping short the little girl realised why her new friend seemed so quiet, picking up her bag she popped it down on the table and opening it up she displayed its empty contents, "No lunch."

Santana bit her lip as she looked down at her sandwich, making a quick decision she picked it up and separating the two halves she shoved one in the other girls direction, "Here."

"Oh, I…I couldn't possibly…" Rachel stammered, her answer getting little more than an insistent smile from the other girl she carefully took the food, "Thank you."

"De nada." Santana replied her gaze falling as she cleared her throat awkwardly, "I…You are welcome."

With an audible sigh Santana twisted her body to face Rachel, "We barely even spoke after that."

"Well, to be fair you didn't really speak to anyone for a long time." Rachel countered, "I will always remember the day we met and the little girl I met that day, however briefly, is the reason I know that you are a good person." Rachel said softly as she dipped her head to catch Santana's eye, "You were kind and selfless when the only thing you really knew about me was my name."

"Rach…"

"No." the diva said firmly, "Whatever has happened between us since then, I always knew that the Santana I had seen was still there and that whatever had happened to make you so…so angry, it never changed who you are."

"Who I am, is a bitch." Santana muttered.

Rachel shook her head as she lifted her hand to cup her friend's cheek, "The girl who tosses slushies and insults everyone, the girl who pretends to only care about her reputation is a bitch. But that is not you, I've seen you Santana and you are nothing like the girl you let everyone else think you are."

"I'm not a good person-"

"The stuffed frog that sits on my bed begs to differ." Rachel argued, a smile tugging at her features as she heard Brittany's voice echo her own.

"My straight A's in Spanish do too." The dancer piped up as she knelt down next to Rachel, "And Math and Biology."

Quinn faltered as she hovered next to Brittany, "And…and that little scar on your left knuckle where you punched that guy in our freshman year for not taking no as an answer..."

Santana's eyes snapped up to meet the blondes, her jaw clenched angrily as she growled, "I will never let anyone put their hands on you like that. Ever."

"And that's why I want you in my life." Rachel stated fiercely, "You're smart, you're caring and you would do anything to protect your friends."

"Apart from trust them." Santana muttered as her shoulders slumped.

"I understand why this is hard for you and while I can't lie and say it doesn't hurt that you would believe those guys over me I can tell you that I would gladly spend an hour every day telling you how awesome you are if it meant I got to spend time with you." Rachel stated her spirits lifting as she saw Santana begin to smile.

With a shake of her head Santana mumbled, "You'd actually do that, huh?"

"You know I would." Rachel beamed as she shifted closer to her friend and joked, "If only to treat you to the sound of my marvellous voice."

Lifting her head to look at Rachel she frowned, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…I'm kind of used to expecting the worst from people, I don't have a great track record y'know? People are always using me for something and…I shouldn't have expected the same from you. You've been nothing but supportive and I just, it's hard to see why you want me around."

"You don't have to apologise." Rachel assured as she reached out to take her friend's hand, "Just trust me when I say you're one of the best people in my life."

"And mine." Brittany smiled, "But don't tell Lord Tubbington, he has jealously issues."

Santana laughed softly as she looked to her friends, her eyes dropping as she mumbled, "I can't go back there you know."

"I know." Rachel nodded sadly, the thought of not seeing Santana in glee club anymore made her chest ache and she could feel the sadness rolling off Brittany, "The Troubletones will be lucky to have you."

Santana sighed, she really didn't want to give up on the New Directions, after all it was her closest daily link to Rachel and part of her was afraid that if she didn't have that then she would lose her friend. After all, she was join the rival group.

"Hey…" Rachel said, her arm nudging Santana's as she saw her friend frown, "If Kurt can join The Warblers then you can join The Troubletones, you're not getting rid of me, or us, that easily okay?"

Santana didn't get a chance to reply as she felt a second body quickly envelope her and she grinned as she heard Brittany's cheerful group hug, closely followed by the weight of Quinn being more than likely tugged on top of the pile.