Naruto-Puberty and Ninja Stuff II
A Naruto Fanfic
A humorous version of the future
Involving lots of pubic stuff
By Niko SiMamu
Rated M (ooh)
Sequel Time!
Chapter 12: Just a bunch of Average Joes
Suigetsu whipped his might blade and smacked a bunch of creatures away. E was glad he hadn't send Zabuza's sword back into the scroll as, otherwise, he wouldn't be able to access it as he couldn't use any jutsus.
Tsume's cat scurried up his leg and into his top quicker than you can say 's**t'. Tsume gulped as one the creatures came flying at him. In a swift movement he pulled out a necklace from his pocket with the claws and teeth of those tiger creatures that were around when after Anko saw Orochimaru during the chunin exams.
Tsume slapped the creature round the face with the necklace so that it was scarred across its face. The creature tripped over, gripping its face in its 'hands'.
As one of the creatures catapulted towards Sakura she smacked it round the head with one almighty punch, sending it flying through the building.
"That's what I thought, bitch" she cried.
"Is your strength… not a… jutsu?" Naruto asked.
"No, baby, it's all me" Sakura replied as Naruto gulped.
Naruto attempted to become one with the demon fox but it was no use, the house must be stopping him from accessing the cage where the beast lies. When Naruto came across that part in his mind there was only total darkness.
As a beast came rushing at Naruto the beast sliced in half by the blade of Sasuke Uchiha, who stood before him.
"You really need to learn some upper level taijutsu, Naruto" Sasuke mocked.
"Shuddup" Naruto whined in reply.
"Who'd have thought it? Rock Lee's ability to only use taijutsu would've come in useful in this situation" Tsume stated.
"I know, right" Sasuke agreed.
"What should we do?" Sakura asked.
"Run like the wind" Tsume replied and the five did so, down the hallway.
The hallway was dark, only lit by candles that made it hard to see what was up ahead. All they could do is judge by sound and hope for the best. They could hear snarling and growling and the patter of quick footsteps behind them but they daren't look back.
Sasuke pulled a firework out of his cloak and lit it with his cigarette. He then proceeded to kiss it good luck and throw it behind him; hearing the firework blow up behind him, closing his eyes in hope that it succeeded. But it didn't.
The creatures were now even angrier and running even faster, running with a vengeance.
"Where did the firework come from?" Tsume questioned.
"I can manipulate fireworks as part of one of my jutsus" Sasuke replied.
"I see" Tsume muttered.
"Stop!" Naruto shouted, and they did so.
"What is it?" Tsume asked.
"There are more up ahead," Naruto replied, "listen."
They listened carefully and could hear more snarls up ahead. They were surrounded with nowhere else to go. Sasuke pulled a necklace with a miniature metal Uchiha fan hanging of it and kissed it and then did the Christian thing of going across his head to represent 'the father, the son, and the holy spirit'.
"When I shout go, run as fast you can in the direction I am" Sasuke said.
"Wait, what?" Naruto questioned.
"Just f**king do it!" Sasuke shouted and charged in the direction they came, full throttle, with his blade in his hand.
Sasuke swiped at the millions of creatures that dived on top of him, all that he could leave was the echo of his final shout 'Go!'
And they did so.
Sakura kicked and screamed as she was pulled away by Suigetsu and Tsume. Naruto remained still and lifeless as he saw what looked to be his best friend's death. He was unable to blink the tears out and remained totally still.
Memories between Sasuke and Naruto flashed before his eyes. The first time they met at ninja school, becoming Team 7, their first mission, the chunin exam, fending off Gaara, trying to bring Sasuke back, Meeting Sasuke again at Orochimaru's former base when Sasuke entered his mind, seeing Sasuke attempt to kill Sakura, when they were in the forest, finding out who Yuri was and when Sasuke returned recently.
Naruto shut his eyes as the creatures from the other end lunged upon him. He remained silent as he shut his eyes and pictured himself at the nine tailed fox's gate. He felt around for something in the dark and found the gate in the darkness.
"Kyuubi?" Naruto said aloud.
"Naruto" a feeble voice said from within the darkness.
"Where are you?" Naruto asked.
"I'm here, but I feel invisible, like I'm dying. But I'm not" Kyuubi replied.
"What should I do?" Naruto asked.
"Feel around in front of you" Kyuubi told him.
"Okay" and Naruto did so. He felt around until he felt a cord hanging down. "What is this?" he asked.
"A switch, pull on it" Kyuubi told him.
As Naruto did so his mind lit up and he could see Kyuubi in front of him. Naruto smirked.
Back in the real world an explosion erupted around the creatures that were sent flying away from a radiant lightning blue Naruto stood in their wake. He was in Kyuubi form.
"Sasuke" Naruto said, his voice echoing all around.
Yuri coiled up in the floor shouting and screaming in pain. "Aw, help me! I'm f**king dying! What the f**k are you doing, you f**king moron Sasuke?" he cried.
When Leon came next to him with Sofia asking what they could do he battered them away and told them to 'f**k off'. They weren't sure what to do.
Yuri was in such a rage he tried to use Chidori to lightning shock everything around him but nothing would work.
"So if Sasuke can't use his jutsus as a time, neither can I? Oh f**king great!" Yuri whined.
Naruto and Sasuke stepped away from a pile of dead creatures, battered and covered in injuries. Sasuke had a dislocated shoulder and broken arm on his right side and scratches all down his back and left arm and up his shoulder. He was slouched with messy hair and his scars on his face had become newly ripe and red with blood, requiring new scars as well.
Naruto, on the other hand, only had a few bruises as he was in the almost untouchable Kyuubi state. Sasuke's left arm hung around Naruto's shoulder as Naruto helped Sasuke walk for Sasuke was limping as he had a twisted ankle.
"Thank you, Naruto" Sasuke said.
"You're welcome" Naruto replied.
"How did you unlock your jutsus?" Sasuke asked.
"You've got to pull on a switch deep down in the darkness of your mind. You need to feel around" Naruto replied.
"I'm not sure I want to go deep down inside my mind. It's not a pleasant place. Filled with revenge and all that" Sasuke said.
"Fine;" Naruto replied, "but tell me, why did you do that? Charging into save us isn't like you, what's up?"
"I don't want to talk about it" Sasuke replied and he strayed away from Naruto, hopping further in front. Naruto sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead because of how he wished to help his friend and his troubles.
Sasuke found himself a decent distance away from Naruto and sat down in a dark spot where no one could see him. He groaned in pain as he sat down on the hard ground, cursing with his familiar catchphrase from the last chapter.
Sasuke pulled out a candy cigarette and lit it with his finger, sucking on it and closing his eyes. He tried to find the dark place in his mind where the switch was but most of his mind was dark or a deep night purple colour. He could feel a deep silence inside.
He heard different voices representing different emotions he was feeling. Sadness- for he'd lost what could be the, as TV puts it, 'the love of his life'; Guilt- for running off and not talking to the concerned friend that had just saved his life; Anger- at himself for all his mistakes and how they were affecting him now; Regret- for leaving for a reason that proved incredibly stupid and that had left him in a state of constant avenging; revenge- against Madara, for all the pain the man had caused him over the years.
As Sasuke thought all these things to himself he was disturbed by a heavy growl in front of him from the real world. He opened his eyes suddenly to see a creatures a couple of inches away, he could small the creatures foul breath and feel the creature's saliva dripping on to him.
He remained perfectly still but his heart was racing quicker than Usain Bolt. He gulped and took a deep breath.
"Nice ugly creature thingy; don't hurt me, please" Sasuke mumbled as the creature replied with a growl, not fond of being called ugly, clearly.
The creatures dived on to him; Sasuke yelped as he threw the creature a few metres away and ran as fast as his twisted ankle would let him, thanking himself for becoming so very naturally quick. He looked back to see the creatures charging after him, getting closer with every bound.
"Oh, f**k my life!" he shouted, all so reminiscently.