"I have myself to blame
for the state I'm in today
and I'm dieing doesn't seem so cruel
I don't know what to say
and I don't know anyway
anymore
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
what do you do when you look in the mirror
and staring at you is why he's not here.."
-I hate myself for losing you by Kelly Clarkson
Bella's POV:
I looked at my naked body before me in the mirror. I was hideous. My eye was tinted purple at the edges, bruises covered my arms and legs. My bottom lip quivered.
My long brown hair hung limply at my sides, drained of its old vibrance I'd never noticed it'd had before now.
Even my breasts were bruised.
This thing in the mirror was disgusting. But this thing in the mirror was me.
All me.
My lip quivered once more and a whimper of pain surpassed my lips. My legs were still weak from being hit by bats in the back of the knees. My cuts had become scars, my sores became more bruises. So many bruises.
My stomach was growing more each day, stretching the purple spots that covered my skin even bigger.
I had went to the doctor a few hours ago. The babies were fine. But me, not so much.
I suffered minor internal bleeding. This might cause me to go into a coma.
My life was so messed up right now, it could almost be a soap opera.
My triplets were in more danger each day, it seemed. I could go into a coma at any moment. Edward had been avoiding me lately. He was there for the doctors appointment, of course, but that was the only time I'd seen him in the past three days.
Three days ago, the attack date. The day Lauren and Jessica tried to nearly murder me.
It was all my fault. I was the one who was stupid enough to go to that locker room. It was all my fault.
My fault my babies were put in danger. My fault I was in so much pain. My fault I would more than likely go into a coma. My fault Edward wasn't here.
Lauren and Jessica hadn't gotten suspended like they should have. I was more than aware what they were capable of now and I wasn't about to mess with that.
I sighed, having more than enough of an eyeful of my pregnant, bruised body.
I wrapped a towel around me and walked through the hallway to my room, opening the door and slipping into the rchilly room. I took a pair of sweats from the bottom drawer in my dresser. I put on my bra and underwear, then pulled on the holey things.
I sat onto my bed – gasping a little from the pains in my back – and lied down, taking a book from my nightstand and flipping on my lampside table.
--
When I woke the next morning, my body ached and I knew I wouldn't be able to go to school today. Again.
"Dad!" I called, hoping he was home.
No answer. I sighed, grabbing onto the railing of the bed, swinging my legs over the side, and standing up slowly. I gasped again.
After several minutes of walking down the stairs, I finally got to the kitchen. Pouring myself a bowl of cereal, I ate it slowly at the table. I had no idea what I was going to do today.
What I was going to do for the rest of my life.
What I was going to do period.
Edward's POV:
I sat in my seat, waiting for Bella to walk through the door well after the last person had entered. When the bell rang, I sighed, turning about face in the classroom again.
Third day she hadn't been at school in a row. I knew she was alright – well, for the most part – as I had been to the doctor with her a few days ago.
So many questions to answer. But I had no answers at this point.
I was out of answers.
I looked absentmindedly around the classroom, bored. Why had I been avoiding Bella lately? I asked myself, She was my childrens mother, she was the woman I'd planned on marrying, so why was I avoiding her?
I'd been telling myself it was because I couldn't bare to see her in so much pain, but lately I'd been doubting that.
Why was I so damn messed up?!
This was stupid. I was doing something I'd told her I wouldn't. Well, more like, not doing something I'd told her I would.
I said I would never leave her.
And now I was betraying that. Was I the biggest idiot on Earth?
Maybe.
I just didn't know anymore.
Just didn't know.
--
Okay, so I wanted to write this really badly. I just was in the mood. so yay for faster updates annyywayys:
I just got the movie Baby Mama and does it remind any one else of Bella and Rose in Breaking Dawn? Anyways, yes, Bella is suffering form minor internal bleeding. So a coma is possible at anytime. I have this whole story planned out from here, so yay! im not sure how many chapters it will be, but probably over 20. The babies didnt get hurt, dont worry. The song, I thought was good for this chapter. Really good. I was listening to it during the last chapters writting and I thought of it for this one. (: Now that Edward is having some slight second thoughts, what will happen?! O.o go to poll and vote. it conserns you all. ALL. wont effect the story, but I want to know. (: thus ending my chapterly rantings, now press that pretty purple button and review please (: