Chapter 12

I sat down beside Violette.

"Hey Telsa." She barely even glanced at me, totally immersed in her drawing.

"What are you drawing?" I asked, even though the paper was huge, because. It. Is. So. Rude. . !

"Just an idea. I'm thinking about painting it..." Violette leaned back eyeing it carefully. She turned and looked at me.

"What do you think? Should I?" She pointed to her picture.

It was of an English garden. There was a spot of sunlight falling in between two gates, with a shimmering ghost. I felt a prick of goosebumps go up my arms.

"It's beautiful, but don't do paint. Watercolor would suit it much better." My eyes were drawn all around the page. The blooming roses on the side, and the Willow tree... Everything was very elegant.

"Because of the ghost? I want her to be so faint, so I guess watercolor would be the better choice." Violette weighed her options.

"Not only that. The roses. Painting roses has been done too many times, but with watercolor, it always has a certain elegance to it. It would suit this piece really well." I added on, still staring at it.

"Really?" Violette contemplated this. I looked up her.

"Yeah! At least, that's what I think!" I exclaimed. She blushed a little.

"Thanks..." She looked back down at it.

"Quite the gentleman as usual." I turned around in my chair. Violette snapped around, and gave a little gasp. Surprised that someone came in the room without us knowing.

"What is it Arsen?" I heaved a heavy sigh.

"So direct?" Arsen frowned.

"I don't have time for your pleasantries. What would you like?" I looked up, expressionless.

"Ahh... Alright. The conference will be delayed, because... Err... My father's flight may have delayed. It's already snowing back at home." Arsen's lies came out horribly. The classic dead look always threw him off. Normally his lies would come out smoothly. Smooth as ice.

"What a horrible liar you are. What did you do this time?" I almost snarled. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Violette move a little, slightly frightened.

"Let's go out to the hallway. Sorry for bothering you Violette." I apologized. I didn't want to make a scene in the hall, but I didn't want to disturb her. I had a feeling this was going to get ugly.

We walked out into the halls. People leaned against the walls, looking up curiously.
"Are you sure you would like to talk here?" Arsen barely even glanced their way.

"No. Come on." I turned sharply and walked towards the basement's direction. The people quickly lost interest. Until we came to the staircase. I was surprised to find Amber and her little posse sitting there on the stairs.

"Oh my!" Her eyes were immediately drawn to Arsen. Him being tall, fit, and attractive usually attracted all the females in the room. Him being rich seemed to be a plus. He wasn't all that though. I knew now, that there was no such thing as perfection. No such thing as a Utopia. If heaven truly existed then I would like to see it.

"Hello you two. Sierra, introduce me." She smiled, her eyes looking as though she was already bewitched.

"Oh. Arsen this is Amber. Amber this is Arsen." If I could get these two to start going out, it would be killing two birds with one stone. Not really getting Amber, but at least I would rid of Arsen. But that was silly, because as much as I hated, loathed, despised Arsen for doing what he did, I had loved him. I would never be able to hand him over to the likes of Amber.

"A friend of yours? Sierra?" Arsen tilted his head towards me slightly, eyes never leaving Amber. I understood the unspoken question. He was asking if I had gone back to the person I had been, before.

"How well do you know me, Arsen? I'm insulted." I pushed him through the basement door. Amber narrowed her eyes, seeing it as though I was taking her as competition.

"Sorry Amber. I need to talk to him for a second." I smiled chillingly.

"Alright. Direct him to me later." Amber's confident and pride had swelled so much in the past few seconds. I wanted to crush it. Hypocritical, arrogant, shallow, self-absorbed, and merciless. Just like Larissa. Just like my father. Just like me. She thought she had control over me, having me be all polite and nice to her in these mere seconds.

I barged through the basement door, and stomped down the stairs. Through the dim lighting of the basement, I could tell that Arsen was leaning against one of the walls.

"Now answer me," I stalked towards him, like a cat approaching a mouse. Except he was no mouse. A dog, or another cat maybe. "What did you do this time? And why are you telling me this? Calling would've worked."

"Don't be rude, Telsa! Or should I say, Sierra? I merely wanted to tell you in person. It's much more polite then calling."

"I don't like to lie. Being polite is just one way of lying. We're all lying creatures on this planet. We've talked about this before, Arsen." Arsen arched his eyebrows, mouth slack in shock.

"Telsa! Don't tell me!" He nearly gasped.

"Don't avoid my question, making something else minor the priority. Tell me what you did to your father." I demanded, slowly raising a hand to reach out to him.

"Something minor? Telsa, I think you're depressed! Again!" Arsen knocked my hand away. His face contorted in his suppressed emotions.

"When did you become an expert on my feelings, Arsen? When?" I hissed. "You don't understand a thing. I have feelings that aren't depression. None for you, though. Not after you hurt me like that. If you think about it like that." I jabbed him, getting in his face now. "If you really think about it like that," I repeated, furious already. "Then my feelings for you ARE indeed depressed. BUT! That's just for you!" I pushed him.

"Don't get violent now, Telsa. If I fight back, then you might lose this time. You don't work well in crowded areas." Arsen cautioned me.

"Threatening me now? Stop avoiding my question, and maybe we can avoid a fight." I snapped, careful to heed my anger, for if I went crazy like last time... I might not be able to stop myself... I was chilled to the core, yet somehow burning with rage. Scared yet too mad to stop myself. I was picking a fight, and trying not to get into one. It made no sense.

"Fine. I told the pilot to delay it, due to the icy roads! He trusts me more then my father! Besides, you know why I'm not fond of him. He also wants me to go to this conference. I DON'T WANT TO TAKE OVER HIS DAMNED COMPANY THOUGH!" Arsen kicked the wall.
"And so when's the meeting going to be held?" I pushed.

"6:30! BUT I'M NOT GOING! I REFUSE!" Arsen, tried to reign himself in, failing very quickly.

"Calm down. I told you to start your own company, make it successful, and just do that instead. Or accept your fate. " A cruel smile crept up my face.

"You are really horrid. That smile of yours is frightening." Arsen softly grinned.

"Brings you back, does it? I always loved scaring people with that smile." I recalled. We were at peace for a moment.

"It frightened them out of their wits. You would have this beautiful glassy face that always seemed so cute and real. Then you would look so insane and cruel. It scared Abel's older sister so bad. And she's the one who watches all those scary movies!" Arsen began laughing.

"Ash always insisted that Abel and I watch those horror movies!" I laughed at the memory.

"That must be why you're so good at that smile." We were laughing like maniacs.

"Well, actually it was that anime I starting watching when we met that had the most frightening smiles. The horros movies we watched were zombies things, grandparent's killing you with creepy lines, dolls that killed children, and maids that were killer insane ghosts. They never ever had creepy smiles..." I trailed off.

"Well, I'm going then. Thanks for the notice." I smiled, because it was nice to avoid a fight. I felt suddenly calm.

"Can I see you again?" Arsen called out. I took it back. I had made it clear we weren't friends.

"No. Just because we were at peace doesn't mean we are cool. I'm still mad about what you did. It was unforgivable. Leave me alone while I'm not mad." I stated. No feelings of anger yet... But I knew where my limits were. And he tempered me easily.

"So does that mean that if you had the chance to go back and change things, you would? You would've stopped things?" Arsen asked, slightly fearful I would get mad again.

"Arsen..." I ran a hand through my hand. "I don't dwell on what could have been. I've dwelled on that far too many times in the past. Now there's too many of them. Too many could've done this. As long as I did the best I could in my situation, then I'm satisfied. I've been much more content with my life because I don't dwell. Phrase you're question better. You're really asking me to come with you. And I won't. I can understand how you feel. I've been through something like that recently, but I refuse to forgive you, because I was happy in the first place. Cara is something I will never forgive you for taking away from me. If I had to endure that to keep her, I would. I'm good with stress." I recalled what happened with Nathaniel.

"I guess you're right, but now you're free!" Arsen protested.

"Am I? Am I really free?" I looked down... Tears threatening to spill. He didn't understand anything. I turned to leave, My makeup was going to be messed up again. Arsen caught my shoulder and handed me a napkin.

"Thanks." I murmured.

"I just... How are you not free? I don't understand!" Arsen was flustered.

"You're right. You don't understand. With Cara, I had a taste of something I didn't quite understand. Innocence. Innocence that would be tainted. When my father didn't know what to do, he handed her to me. Told me that he didn't want to take care of the evidence of his betrayal. Everyone around him hated him. For doing what he did, he was hated. He didn't like people, but no one likes rejection. I told him that since I can't have children, I might as well take care of Cara. Father and his mistress, my childhood friend's mother, Jenny said yes. They were so ashamed they handed their child to a 13 year old girl. They just assumed I would be fine. And I was. I raised her. You saw how much I loved her. I was always good with babies. Children on the other hand? I sucked with them, but babies were different. Cara was easy to take care of. When Elmira found out, she came by constantly. I hated that. She ruined my progress. She was the opposite. Good with children, bad with babies." I was interrupted.

"So how are you imprisoned here?" He demanded.

"Oi! I'm in the middle of a life story! But since I've lunch to eat, I will abide to your wishes. I'm not free here, because I lost everything. What lifts me up, what makes me feel free, is no longer here. You also threw me into the hellish haven, but I'll forgive you. It did help. I've changed dramatically. Not in the way I act, but in knowledge. A learning experience, I guess. I've learned that I can't be free until I accept what's happening. However, people try so desperately to stop me from knowing what's going on. They think that it'll protect me. I'm not the kind of person who likes to be protected like that. It won't help me at all, yet everyone keeps trying like that. Including you." I turned around. "All subconscious though, so don't worry. I'm forgive you on that!" I blew him a kiss over my shoulder and walked to find Violette, and my lunch.

Author's Note

Okay! This is my longest chapter now. 2,063 words. That is, without this little note here. Sorry the paragraphs are so long. I really made Telsa/Sierra rant too much. So anyways... It's revealed! Telsa/Sierra was DEPRESSED! At least, in the past. Connect chapter 11 to this and it'll clear up a bit of confusion there. (I hope!) So I mentioned Amber now. I hope I got her in character. I think I should've made her more aggressive to Telsa/Sierra, but I thought that she might learn a little from what's been happening with her life. Become a better villain or whatever, because I don't think you can go through things like that without changing, be it good or bad.

Again (because I do this all the time,) I don't own MCl or any of the MCL characters! Just my OCs. That's it.

So I hope you guys liked it! I tried on this one! So please review it, tell me what you think!