"What's your plan for today?" Punk asked the next morning, half sitting, half lying against the headboard of their bed, AJ in between his legs while he laced his fingers through her own.
"I'm not sure." AJ admitted, "I guess I promised I'd take Dylan to the park when he got back." AJ said, "You're welcome to come." She told him as he thought to himself.
"I might just stay here." He told her. He figured if Heidi was going to the park also, he would take a step back. She clearly didn't want to be around him right now.
"It's up to you." AJ told him.
"It's fine... I'll make myself useful around here. We're going slow... remember?" He smiled as she nodded.
"Yeah." AJ nodded, resting her head back on his chest, "I guess we are." She nodded.
AJ and the twins had eventually gone out to the park after getting up and ready. Punk deliberately went for a shower when AJ was in getting them ready and giving them their breakfast. As much as he wanted to see them wake, and join them having breakfast, he and AJ had agreed that they needed their space, and he needed to be eased into their life and daily routine slowly. So he waited until they headed out to go downstairs and make his own breakfast.
He had been sticking to light things since his stomach still wasn't right. But each day he seemed to have been managing that little bit extra. He didn't really know what to do with himself after he finished the slice of toast he made for himself. He cleaned up a few dishes, getting lost in the hand drawn pictures stuck to the fridge, clearly by his children.
He was just looking around for a simple dish towel to dry the dishes. Since AJ had redecorated and replaced everything in different cupbaords, he was having a hard time finding things. He stumbled across on a few papers, watching them fall out of the cupboard that was obviously the paper work cupboard.
"Shit..." He cursed, crouching down and picking up the papers that had flew out, turning them around to look at them, not thinking much of them, until the words and writing caught his eye.
He stood up straight, his eyes racing through the words as he read the letters and leaflets, pulling more out and shaking his head, not believing or understanding what he was reading. Surely this wasn't true.
"Mommy! Mommy, push me." Heidi asked, "Push me, please." She remembered her manners, swinging her legs back and forth on the swing, side by side to her brother.
"Ok. Ok." AJ rushed behind Heidi, pushing her lightly on the swing, being the mother she was, refusing to push her too high. She was sure when Punk began joining them, he'd have them swinging right over the handle bars.
"What about me?" Dylan kicked his legs.
This was the exact problem she had for three years. Because there was two of them, it was hard to balance herself. Sometimes she wished she could clone herself, just for these types of situations.
"Ok." AJ nodded, leaving behind Heidi and giving her son a push on the swing.
Time went by in the park, and AJ watched Dylan and Heidi as they climbed the monkey bars, slid down the chute, swung on the swings and rocked up and down on the see-saw. The excitement and joy on their face always got her excited. Their little smiles were at their best at the park, and the way they ran about, absolutely care free, no worries about anything. It made her want to be a child again.
"Will daddy be at home?" Dylan asked, holding on to his mothers hand as they walked back to the car after about an hour at the park. Heidi walked silently whilst clinging to her mothers other hand.
"Yeah." AJ nodded, "Maybe we can have lunch with him? Would you guys like that?" Punk looked from Dylan to Heidi.
"Yeah." Dylan nodded, "I like him." He said as AJ smiled, turning to Heidi who was walking silently, looking away from her mother, around at the street, not wishing to answer the question being asked.
"Heidi... sweetheart..." AJ dropped Dylan's hand as they got to the car, crouching down in front of her daughter, placing her two hands around her small waist, "He isn't going to hurt you, baby. What are you afraid of?" She asked, watching the infant shrug. She guessed she didn't even know what she was frightened of.
"I like just you and Dylan." Heidi stood with a frown. She didn't like change. Especially when it came to her routine and the people around her.
"But he's your father. He... He's going to be here forever now." AJ explained, "You have to give him a chance. You might end up liking him. Dylan... is daddy scary?" AJ turned to her son who stood shaking his head.
"He's real nice, Heidi." Dylan leaned against the car.
"See." AJ smiled to her daughter, "Just like I love you, daddy loves you too. And he's meant to be here." She smiled, "Give him a chance, baby. For me?" AJ asked her daughter who looked into her mothers eyes.
"Ok." Heidi whispered.
"Ok." AJ smiled, reaching forward and pressing a sweet kiss on her forehead, standing up straight and one by one, putting them into the car in their booster seats, helping them with their seat belts before taking off to go home to the park.
She hoped Heidi meant it when she agreed to give her father a chance. She wasn't asking for the little girl to run into his arms and never let go. All she wanted was for her to feel comfortable around him, and to open up to him, just like Dylan had. That was the first step they had to take.
Once they got home, AJ asked the kids to go straight upstairs and wash their hands while she made lunch, hoping Punk would join her and help her. The kids would have got all mucky at the park, so she expected them to give them a good wash upstairs, which sometimes ended in them throwing water all over the floor, but she trusted them.
"Hey..." AJ walked into the living room where Punk sat, leaning forward with papers scattered all over the coffee table, "I was going to ask if you wanted to..." She paused in the middle of unbuttoning her coat, "Phil... what's all this?" She looked at all the scattered notes of paper, watching Punk turn around to her with some sort of digusted look on his face. Had she done or said something? He looked horrified at the sight of her.
"You really thought you could hide this from me." Punk said, "Haven't you learned your fucking lesson, April." Punk stood up, gathering the papers in a bundle and throwing them at her, watching her stand still and swallow feedbly.
"Phil... what..." She looked down at all the scattered paper.
"You were going to give them away?" Punk raised his eyebrows with clenched teeth, "You were going to give our children away to some adoption agency?" Punk screwed his eyes up as she stood with her hands by her side, taking a deep sigh and looking on at him.
"Phil... this isn't..." She began, but she knew she'd be cut off.
"No, no you don't get to speak right now." Punk told her, "Here I was, thinking you were mother of the fucking century, and you were planning to get rid of them when I left." Punk said, having checked the dates on everything. It was just after the twins first birthday.
"I wasn't..."
"You weren't what? Huh? No... there's no way you can talk your way out of this. These are our children, and you were going to give them away like they were nothing. Hell... April, I was only out for three years. Do you have any idea how mad I'd be, if I came out of prison, and you'd gave our kids away to another family?" Punk said, "I can't believe you." He shook his head.
He tried to understand once he found the papers, but it was impossible. He tried to think of how she was feeling, and how her lonliness might have got the better of her, but this was just unexplainable behaviour. Why would she do such a thing? These were their children. It boiled his blood.
"These..." AJ picked up all the papers, "Were for your sister, you bastard!" She threw them back at him visciously, "You think I'd do something like that?!" She yelled.
Punk turned to her, a rush of guilt flowing through his viens already. There he went again, jumping to conclusions before even hearing the story. He felt like such a dick now.
"I told you... your sister had a hard time at the beginning. I got her some adoption papers to help her with options, but she changed her mind." AJ said, "I can't believe you'd think for a minute that I'd... that I'd put our children up for adoption." AJ put her hand on her chest, absolutely horrified that he would be convinced for a minute that she would do such a despicable thing, "They really fucked you up in there... didn't they?"
"Excuse me?" Punk raised his eyebrows.
"You... you're always on edge, you're paranoid, you're always looking behind your shoulder, you flinch when I touch you." She said, "I know this is tough for you, I get that better than anyone..." She watched him, knowing he felt more guilty than ever, "But don't you dare acuse me of something like that again, not when you haven't been here." She spat, "I love my children."
And he knew that, but it made sense to jump to the conclusion he did. She was right. He was paranoid, and on edge, and always looking over his shoulder. But incase she hadn't noticed, he'd just got out of a three year prison sentence.
"I think you need to go cool off." She nodded to him as he raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, so what... you're kicking me out now?" Punk asked her.
"Did I say I was kicking you out, Phil?" AJ asked him, "Just take a walk, take the dogs with you." She said, stepping to the side as he looked her up and down. He seen he had stuck a nerve with her, and it seemed to be over their children. Questioning if she had planned to put them up for adoption, was like questioning her love for them, and he knew he had no right to do that. He should have known better than to question how much she loved them. He knew he was in the wrong here, and he felt like such a prick for yet again, yelling at her and assuming she'd do such a thing.
"Stay out for as long as possible." She whispered as he walked by her, watching him nod as he whistled lifelessly on the dogs who ran behind him.
She sat down on the couch, placing her hands over her face as she sobbed quietly into them. Maybe he had lost himself. Because the old him, wouldn't have thought such a thing when he seen those adoption papers. He would have sat her down calmly and asked who they belonged to. She felt so attacked and hurt. Maybe the kids weren't the only people he needed to take it slow with.
She stood up, walking around the couch and into the hall, about to step up the stairs when she seen the twins sitting looking through the stairs banister, sitting in the middle of the stairs next to one another. They had obviously been listening, or else they wouldn't have looked so guilty, sort of like the face their father had on him now.
"Do you... do you guys want some lunch?" She asked, drying her tears quickly.
"Where'd daddy go?" Dylan asked.
"He just... he went out, he's taking Tank and Nero out for a walk." She explained like everything was fine.
"I don't wana give daddy a chance." Heidi whispered, shaking her head repeatedly, recalling back to her chat with her mother when she promised she would try speak and be around her father, but after hearing him yelling and watching him through the gap in the stairs. She wasn't sure she wanted to anymore.
"C'mon, let's just go into the kitchen." She waved them forward as they ran down the stairs and past her, running into the kitchen as she watched them.
How could Punk ever think she'd do something like that? Give the away. Over her dead body. She knew he just wasn't himself, but she wasn't tolerating the yelling and the direspect he was showing her. He needed to have a word with himself, and maybe they needed to take things slow too.
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