The door slammed behind Dipper as he exited his car hurriedly. His shoes scraping against the gravel covered ground, he ran into the Mystery Manor, passing a few construction workers as they wrapped up their morning shift on the building. The young teen held a collection of books under his arm, having once again rented from the Library in Gravity Falls.
His feet echoed against the wooden floorboards, heralding his passing for Wendy and Soos, who both retained their position in Gift Shop. Dipper wanted to say hello, maybe ask how their days have been, and maybe direct some funny, witty comment to Wendy, but his mind was set. Soos was fussing with the radio anyway, so getting a word in was less attractive to the moment. Climbing the stairs, Dipper entered his room past the poster covered door.
"Yo bro!" Mabel said, in a well-executed hand stand on her bed frame, holding herself upright without a wobble in her stance. "You find those info-maniac books you needed?"
"References," Dipper corrected her as he tossed his shoes off and leapt to his bed.
"References to what? You're starting some stupid English assignment this early in the summer, are you?" Mabel demanded, completing the task of turning with her hands, twisting her arms to face her brother while still suspended upside down.
"They're references to everything that's happened in the past ten years in Gravity Falls," Dipper told her in one breath, "see, towns keep track of pretty much everything- or at least they should. Power outages, accidents, deaths, births, population- everything should be tracked in these," Dipper patted the books.
"I didn't know you wanted to grow up to be an encyclopedia of all that is boring," Mabel grinned at him.
"Ha-ha. With this information," Dipper said after a glare to his sister, "there's a chance we can correlate when someone had the chance to move in town and then create or introduce a sophisticated android-robot-thing that replaced Tambry."
"That's assuming I didn't turn her into one," Mabel admitted, allowing herself to fall to her bed with a gloomy 'oomf'.
"Mabel, we went through this: we've seen magic before. Maybe a spell could have done that, sure," Dipper assured her with a strong look, "but this is some sort of technology. It's built with metal, works around electricity- if it's got magic enough to do something like that, then... well, I don't know what then."
"Ugh. I hate not knowing if I'm a monster of a human being," Mabel groaned from her position, and leaned on one hand to look at Dipper, "do you think if we catch her again, we'll have a chance to undo it?"
"No idea. I'm already suspicious of Tambry anyway. She told us she was in her home last night, right?" Dipper told Mabel, "but she clearly never goes anywhere without her phone. If she really had been at home, wouldn't she have gone back for the phone you saw her drop when you zapped her?"
Mabel gasped, a hand at her mouth. "You don't think she... lied?!" Mabel declared.
"It's a possibility. If the Tambry walking around now town is a robot, maybe she was programmed to believe it, so technically it wouldn't have been a lie. Or maybe it is Tambry, and she just forgot her phone at the same place.. oh come one," Dipper looked through the book, disappointed as he scowled at the numbers, "whole dang weeks just go unaccounted for. Way to be organized, Gravity Falls."
"Well this isn't Norway, where they have everything in line, duh!" Mabel told her brother. "It's 'Murica!"
Dipper sighed, and dropped away that one book about incidents involving insurance claim and rises in total insurance cost. He lifted a reference in power regulation for the town, and shuffled through the pages. Mabel wasn't wrong- these numbers were repetitive and boring, but necessary to Dipper. Then he noticed something. There were gaps in recorded days, but one week was the exact same as in the other book.
"Huh," Dipper noted aloud, and laid that one down, and lifted another book, this time on law-breaking with crime and punishment. "This one too?" Dipper asked. The same week didn't appear in the book.
"Dip?" Mabel asked, hanging her head from the side of her bed. His eyes were widening, and he was scrambling through books, finding a single page and then moving to another book.
"All these references... all of them," Dipper held up three books in his hands, "they all are missing an exact, single week from two and a half years ago."
"You mean, like, after we left that one summer?" Mabel asked, rolling herself upright to talk to him.
"Yeah. From December tenth to the seventeenth there is no data. Of anything!" He laid out his books around him, shocked at this coincidence. "That's eight records of this town having the exact week missing. One solid week of missing data throughout the town? That can't be an accident," Dipper said with a shaking breath.
"So... what does it mean?" Mabel asked with uncertainty. The two stared at one another, reading into each others eyes, hoping for a common thought. No such idea passed by and Dipper groaned.
"I don't know," he admitted, closing the books around him. Like the entire chase last night, it ended with more questions than answers. Sure, it was a strange coincidence, but it wasn't anything more than a coincidence until they could correlate data. Dipper's eyes turned towards his desk, where the three cylinders lay silent, gently humming their blue light. What he needed now was an experienced opinion on the matter. Someone who knew the workings of this town better than them. Someone they trusted.
"Soos!" a voice called from below, cranky and deeper in register. A huge fluorescent light bulb flashed in Dipper's head. He had someone like that at his disposal.
"Yes, mister pines?" Soos asked, turning from his radio.
"I've come to the decision- ugh, turn that down, would you," Stanley Pines ordered as music blared over the radio, "I don't need Valhalla shouting at me from my own gift shop."
"Oh, that's just Duskhope," Soos told him with a pleasant smile, "I can't believe you've never heard of them."
"They sound like a rock band invaded a movie orchestra and told them to work with them or die," Stan described as the music rocked on behind Soos. The music was strong and aggressively inspiring, gripping the air around the stereo with an iron, orchestrally accompanied fist.
"They're the greatest symphonic-rock-orchestral band that's ever come out! The band has been around for ages. Their leader, Zander Maximillion, is a prodigy of music," Soos informed Stan.
"Metal," Wendy piped up from behind her usual post and magazine, "They're a metal band."
"Oh, right, my bad," Soos apologize.
"You listen to this stuff too?" Stan turned and stared at her.
"Eh. Robbie loved their music," Wendy sighed as she turned a page, "never shut up about how he would become their lead guitarist. As far as Soos's taste in music go, it's certainly at the top. Can't say they're bad at what they do."
"Moving on from the topic I literally can not care less about," Stan claimed as he turned back to Soos, scratching his back through his con-man's suit," I've come to the decision that I'll need a night-watch when this whole construction project is done wrapping up."
"Oh wow! A new position!" Soos exclaimed excitedly, "who are you considering?"
"No one. You've got the job," Stan told him plainly. "Congratulations. You know how to stay up late, right?"
"Oh. I, uh, yeah?" Soos nodded quickly, shocked at this news. His reaction seemed to surprise Grunkle Stan, who took a step closer to him. "You sure there isn't someone else better qualified?"
"What aren't you telling me, Soos?" Stan asked, his eyes boring into Soos's, "if I hadn't known better, I would have thought you were reluctant to take this job."
"Oh! No! No, no, no! That's not it at all," Soos stumbled as he tried assuring his employer, "I, uh, just... you know, I thought I was the handy-man."
"It's a promotion, Soos. Now you tell people at night that we don't offer tours past the hours of seven in the afternoon and before ten in the morning, and that we put the fun in no refunds," Stan told him easily, trying to ease his long term employee into the idea.
"I don't know... I'm not exactly good at handling people," Soos admitted, fiddling with the radio dial behind him absentmindedly.
"Aw, c'mon Soos," Wendy piped up, lifting her feet off from their position on the counter, "you're great with people- you're just not that same kind businessman that Stan is."
"Exactly," Stan nodded, "Look, Soos, I don't need someone to sell them stuff, I just need someone up late enough to keep an eye out; make sure the restless kids don't pillage the shop."
"Ah... I'll, uh, think about it?" Soos said nervously. Stan sighed deeply as he rubbed his eyes, and Soos panicked, "Aw, I'm sorry mister Pines! I'm just not sure right now."
"Well, you have until we open the rooms to make up your mind. I'd rather provide a raise than give some other rotten punk in town a job here," Stan told him, walking past him towards Wendy, "so don't shelf it forever! Wendy!" Stan said as he leaned against the counter, "how about you? Interested in being paid to stay up late?"
"Eh. I'll consider it," Wendy shrugged as she continued to read.
"What?! What world am I living in where young people aren't tempted by the chance of greed!?" Stan barked to the two of them, "speaking of which, is the newest national tabloid in?" Wendy reached by the pile of magazines she brought in that day, and tossed one to him, "ah good. Time to get some new ideas."
"Grunkle Stan," Dipper asked as he appeared with his sister in the gift shop. Soos had fiddled enough with the radio to have a solid established connection, and hummed gently to the music as the twins approached their reading grand uncle.
"Now let's see; teen who claims to speak to the dead from Massachusetts saves town from rampaging poltergeist. Teen's family claims he's bested zombies and cursed spirits prior to investigation. Hmm, maybe if I got some projectors, and some nice transparent paper, and thin wiring-"
"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper restated loudly.
"Gah! What?" Stan yelped at, what seemed to him was, the sudden appearance of Dipper. "Didn't you go to the library?"
"Back already," Dipper answered, "got the materials I needed."
"About time someone could go into town from this building and not disappear for hours," Grunkle Stan mentioned aloud, also giving Mabel a look, who was just behind Dipper. She stuck her tongue out in reply.
"Grunkle Stan, I wanted to know," Dipper started his question, "did anything strange happen two Decembers ago?"
"Like, for a week maybe? An exact week?" Mabel added, her attempts at inconspicuous behavior ruined.
"Oddly specific," Stan cupped his chin in thought, "hmm. Nothing strange off the top of my head. Why?"
"There was a week within the reference journals and books I rented that all had the exact same week missing," Dipper explained, "sort of weird for a simple editing error or laziness."
"Huh. Consistent missing data sounds familiar," Stan agreed with a rough and thoughtful grunt, "maybe I can fish something up on the downstairs stuff."
"Awesome!" Dipper cheered, his eyes lightening up at the prospect of getting some real aid on this mystery, and not just a two-part cheap answer from his grand uncle. "Can you head down now?"
"What? You're kidding, right?" Stan barked at him, "look, I know you want some answers to this robot mystery thing, but I can't just head down there in the middle of the day. What if these construction workers wreck something and I'm not there to scam them to pay up quickly in cash?"
"Grunkle Stan," Mabel pouted, her arms crossed and trying to appear as a mix of sweet and disapproving.
"Or what if we get some lost tourists who need directions? I can't pass up an opportunity to grab some money off them, even if the shop is technically closed," Grunkle Stan added, as if this prospect truly frightened him.
"Hey, speaking of tourists," Wendy piped in, peering out the screen door, "are we expecting some suits from the construction company?"
"Huh? No?" Stan said, walking past Wendy towards the door. Sounds of a car coming up the long driveway struggled past the construction workers sounds, wrapping up their morning shift before they retreated for the lunch break. Finally over the hill and past the trees a van appeared, painted black and adorned with a rusted radio dish on its back. "Oh no. Oh no, don't be them again," Stan pushed his hands against the frame of the door, staring in fear outside.
"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked as the four approached, nervous to what the eldest of the room feared.
The van came to a stop, and the four watched as a collection of young men, easily in their mid twenties or early thirties stepped out, in a collection of both official suits and button up shirts and over-the-top leather duster jackets. Several had comic book t-shirts and all wore jeans. The driver stepped towards the shack, giving it a look over as he approached.
"I take it this is the Mystery Shack?" the man asked aloud as he stared to Grunkle Stan. After a pause, the old man cleared his throat, and with a quick push of the door, leaped out dramatically.
"Welcome to the Gravity Falls Mystery Shack!" Stanley Pines emulated the great mister mystery with his 'could sell you dirt' grin. "I hate to inform you, but the building is currently under renovation-"
"Yeah, we kinda got that," one of the men approached from behind the first, his blonde hair braided under a cap.
"Not a mystery there, is it?" the leader gave a cocky smirk and turned to his fellow buds, getting a few high fives. Stan kept his grin high, but a vein twitched.
"Ah, but of course! I'm sure what you've really come for is the world famous merchandise!" Stan lunged aside, directing his open hands towards the door, where the four peered out at the six men who stared back, each with their own variations of sunglasses.
"Close," The leader stepped closer, and finally removed his sunglasses, displaying dark blue eyes, "we've heard this is world famous for it's mysteries."
"Oh, uh, yeah," Stan stood upright, scratching the back of his neck, "we got those too."
"Good. We're the NPPP, or the North Pacific Paranormal People," the leader explained, indicating on his large leather duster a sewn on name tag, "I'm Geoffrey. This is Adam, Luke, Ben, and Marcus. It's our job, as of, uh, last week to discover and rate all things paranormal or unexplained in the northwestern pacific region on our highly regarded website for travelers."
"Whoa, whoa, you rate places?" Stan demanded, his cheerful demeanor long gone. as Mabel snickered behind him, reciting their name.
"Hehehe, P-P," Mabel struggled to stifle her voice.
"Sorry fellas, my establishment isn't interested in criticism or whatever you have to offer," Stan told them his arms crossing.
"Really?" Geoffrey asked, leaning in a bit more, "We scored an impressive six out of ten on the customer reliability online," Luke, the blond with braided hair said with an impressed nod.
"People respect our name and our word," the darker skinned man, Adam explained, raising his sunglasses to give the teens and older man a twinkling smile.
"Right, dressed like that I'm sure all the respectable types go running for advice," Wendy whispered to Dipper and Mabel.
"Right, and that means what to me?" Stan rolled his eyes as they expressed their impressive status.
"Anything that we say is paranormally charged," Geoffrey finalized, "true believers will flock to see for themselves."
"People... flock to? Wait... you'd rate my establishment?" Grunkle Stan asked, stepping slightly forward to the man before him.
"It's part of our job."
Grunkle Stan hopped slightly with a tiny jolt, as if an electric current ran through his spine. He stared at the men before him and then looked back to the teens. The eyes of Stanley Pines told the story of a man going through many thoughts at the same time; many of those thoughts waltzed with dollar signs. With a slow craning turn back to the group of young men, he cleared his throat.
"One moment please," Grunkle Stan gave them a small nod and then dashed back inside and pulled the four away from his gift-shop door, "okay, I want a solid, no bull opinion: the shack could survive these bozos giving it a rating, right?"
"What do you mean?" Soos asked in confusion, "they'll love it here! Everyone loves it here."
"I don't know," Dipper scratched as his sparse chin-hairs as he thought, "They look like they know what they're talking about. One of those guys looked like they were carrying an EMF-detector on their belt. They have some cool stuff."
"A what?" Grunkle Stan spat back.
"Electro-magnetic-field detector," Mabel beat her brother to the punch. Dipper stared at her, his mouth open, and she slowly grinned back to him, "I watched a lot of this show called 'Mission Fact'. They used stuff like that."
"You watched that too?" Dipper asked, a defining moment passing between the twins.
"Personally," Wendy chortled in, giving the men behind her a critical stare, "they look like a bunch of dorks in jackets they found in goodwill."
"Ah," Dipper almost choked, as his eyes had followed Wendy's, staring at the men, who peered at the meeting inside, "Yeah... they look so, uh, stupid. Yeah!" Dipper lied to himself, entirely wishing he looked slightly as cool as the guys out there did.
"I mean, it's not even a sunny day, and they're wearing sunglasses?" Wendy smirked as she teased out of eavesdropping distance.
"This could either put my shack- err, manor," Stan corrected himself, "on the map for every single naive tourist in the area to bleed their wallets into my buckets, or ruin it all and leave my business destroyed. Wait," he turned away from the group and approached the leader, "how much does this cost?"
"It's free of charge?" the young man answered. "Our website get's paid for content, so we don't charge for review."
"Hot damn!" Stan leapt into the air, clacking the heels of his shoes together, "please, allow me to prepare a tour for you fine guests! A few minutes please!" Stan said with his largest smile he could muster as he slammed the wooden door behind the screen one. "Okay! You two," Stan pointed to Dipper and Mabel instantly, "dust the museum. Make it look like I don't ignore it all my life when people aren't handing me cash. You two," he pointed to Wendy and Soos, "pull out the big guns. Anything that isn't falling apart in the storage is out in the open. Got it?"
"Grunkle Stan, are you sure it's a good idea to have these guys go through the museum? What if they actually know a thing or two about this paranormal mysterious creatures and anomalies stuff," Dipper asked with warning to his Grunkle, who approached a mirror and began to adjust his tie.
"If I wanted a reasonable and unwanted opinion I would have married. Now get to it!" Stan yelled loudly, having the four scatter quickly to the house, grabbing what cleaning supplies they could.
The mad rush began. Dipper and Mabel did their best to sweep away the dust that had accumulated in the long months of neglect, but the continued addition of older and even dustier collections made their chore an unending one. As soon as Dipper would sweep away one pile of dirt, Soos would wheel in another faux-tree monster, leaving a long trail of dust. The entire time Stan glared at them, ordering them to work faster and faster. The instant that he considered the path of the tour acceptable and full of things to ogle at, he lead the four downstairs, into the kitchen, and kicked them all out by the side door.
"Don't come in until you see the five leaving, or have already gone," Stan told them dangerously, daring them to disobey in this tense moment in his building's career.
"What are we supposed to do while you're in showing them your collection of stuffed animals?" Wendy shook her hat of collected cobwebs, and tossed her hair around her briefly, which Dipper did not miss the chance to stare at her in quiet awe.
"I don't know. Go play with the industrial equipment the workers left behind, you know, safe stuff," Grunkle Stan told them, and slammed the door in their faces. His muffled footsteps raced away as he charged to the other side of the building.
"I always did want to know how to operate one of those crane-thingies," Soos admitted, scratching his head through his cap.
"Aw, man, that'd be awesome! Maybe they left the keys in the exhaust!" Wendy excitedly told Soos as the two raced for the distant tractor.
"Maybe we could find a jackhammer and dig for treasure?" Dipper gave a suggestion for what to do without conviction.
"Hmm, I think I'll just do some more super-training," Mabel told him, stretching her neck slowly around. "Now that your arm is all better, you up for a little Mabel-tastic fitness?"
"Oh sure," Dipper rolled his eyes as he rolled his shoulders, "I'm up for it."
"Bet you can't do fifty laps around the house by the time the tour is done!" Mabel grinned as she started jogging.
"I bet you can't do fifty laps around the house while singing 'Chariots That Are On Fire' theme!" Dipper retorted with a wide smile. Mabel laughed as she took the lead, and took the bet instantly, loudly blurting out the notes to the epic and inspirational piece as best she could.
Within a few minutes, neither twin could accomplish the required task. Dipper was out of breath keeping up with Mabel, and Mabel had entirely forgotten the difference between singing and talking while running. The two panted to a slumbering stop back by the side door only twenty laps in. Dipper was impressed that he had managed to keep up with her, but more impressed that she had been able to continue singing even after the theme had ended, and added her own unique vocalizations.
Mabel was determined though- even out of breath, she exercised. Dipper at first was reluctant, his fatigue begging him for a moments rest. Then he realized Wendy had looked his way. Within a single split moment he went from lying on his back and panting to upright and following Mabel's actions as best he could. She was faster, but Dipper learned quick enough.
It wasn't until she was airborne in acrobatic dodges and attacks that Dipper called it quits, and just watched. Even Wendy and Soos approached the scene as Mabel effortlessly landed three flips in the air, one directly after another.
"Mabel!" Wendy gasped after another row of mid-air, upside down kicks, "what the heck dude!"
"What?" Mabel asked, catching herself upside down as she looked at the three of them.
"She's been learning from some sort of master of this stuff," Dipper told them as Mabel caught her breath for a quick moment, "so she's got some crazy moves."
"No kidding! Man, I thought what I saw from 'Tigerfist Two: Stripes and Palms' had some crazy stuff," Soos said with amazement, "but Mabel's really got it down."
"Aw stop it guys," Mabel said as she landed once more, fully upright and smiling with a slightly flushed face, "I'm just a beginner!"
"Yeah right!" Dipper barked.
"I wish I could show you guys my master," Mabel said wondrously, turning half way from them as she stared away, "she's like... awesome."
"Who?" Soos asked.
"In the martial art 'The Paths'," Dipper quickly said, "you're not allowed to use your teacher's name. Something about keeping their identity a secret."
"Why's that?" Wendy asked.
"My master explained it like this," Mabel looked to them, "the path's isn't about being the best at the entire range of skills. It's about learning to take what you do best and make it even better. A lot of people don't like that sort of thinking apparently," Mabel shrugged at the statement, "I don't know why they don't like it, but whatever. It also makes my teacher sound really cool and mysterious."
"Speaking of mysteries," Dipper interjected, "we were supposed to ask Grunkle Stan for that information, weren't we?"
"He should be done soon," Soos stated easily, "Why, I bet they'll come out of that door looking like they've had just the time of their lives."
The doors did slam open, and out marched the five men, scowling and shaking their heads. Stan ran ahead of them, his arms outstretched to prevent their departure.
"Look, it's off season right now! I needed replacements for the real deals!" Stan reasoned with those before him.
"Nothing in the entire building indicated that there was anything of worth to our time. If it doesn't raise a question, it doesn't get a good score," Geoffrey told Stan with a tone of true disappointment, "Mister Pines, you're just running a side-show of well made taxidermy altered to look... freaky."
"Whoa, that's a first," Dipper admitted. No one had, to Dipper's recollection, ever called out his well-spoken grand uncle on the phoniness of his Mystery Shack. There was a rushing past him. Mabel was marching post-haste towards the group near the van.
"Look fellas, I admit it doesn't look great, but this area is full of weird stuff! I'm tellin' ya!" Stan tried further, a tone of desperation in his voice.
"We're not interested. Your building was a waste of our time, and we'll make sure no one else wastes their time coming here. One of ten, easily," Luke told Stan as he adjusted his sunglasses.
"Hey!" Mabel suddenly called, catching their attention, "he's not lying! There is weird stuff around here!"
"Look, maybe you've been raised around here," the man named Marcus said to Mabel, "but those... uh, things in there? I mean, Unicorn-on-the-cob? Man, Unicorns don't even exist."
"I wasn't raised around here, and yes they do!" Mabel stated, walking closer to them, staring at them defiantly despite their impressive height. "Unicorns do exist!"
"Uh-huh. You're living in a fantasy world, kid," Marcus laughed to his friends.
"Except she's not," Dipper added as Mabel clenched her fists while glaring at the man before her, "Unicorns are real. They act like total jerks though. We've seen them in these woods," Dipper pointed around them, "and a whole mess of other weird stuff!"
Maybe it was the concept of a male teenager stating that Unicorns were real, as opposed to the girl, that silenced the men. Luke lowered his sunglasses, checking in with Dipper and Mabel. When their gazes neither flinched nor shook, he looked to Soos and Wendy.
"How about you two?" he asked to them.
"Oh dude," Soos shook his head as he gave a warning look to the men, "you wouldn't even believe what happened yesterday. Or the day before that. Or they day before that. Or the day-"
"And you?" Luke turned to Wendy, "you live around here?" Wendy blankly stared at him for a moment, and then nodded. "Seen anything odd?"
"You could say that," Wendy replied quietly.
"Look, I'll be honest," Stan suddenly added, removing his Fez from the top of his head, "you caught me at a bad time. I'm in my off-season, you know? People don't really go driving around the countryside when they have their kids in school and they're working full time still. Why don't you five guys head down in town- there's a great diner you can head to! When you come back," Stan stepped up, his hand open to the sky just before them, "I'll show you something really-" Stan flicked his hand slightly, producing an ace of spaces from seemingly no where, "worth your time."
The five exchanged looks. Between the conviction of the four younger occupants of the building and the owner's insistence that there was something to his establishment, they seemed less certain to grade this location a failure and true tourist trap. Luke and Geoffrey turned to Ben, the only man who hadn't spoken up so far.
"There were a few anomalous readings on our way here," Ben shrugged, pushing the bridge of his sunglasses up against his nose, "maybe we can give them an hour to figure themselves out?"
"EMF detectors can act stupid," Geoffrey told Ben, who nodded quickly, "but... we did drive all the way out here... ugh, okay. Sir," Geoffrey rounded on Stan, "we'll head to this Diner. When we get back, we want a real paranormal experience. No more cheap tricks, no more," he pilled the card out of Stan's hand and flicked it back into his face, "slight of hands. Let's go guys."
As they turned, Wendy stuck her leg out. Ben tripped over it quickly, and Marcus and Geoffrey tripped over him. Wendy remained undetected as she slipped her foot back to a perfectly normal place, and leant closer to them, cooing to them as they struggled to rise back up.
"Careful there you guys. Long jackets like that totally can mess people up, you know," she told them with a glint in her eyes. Mabel snickered and high-fived Wendy quietly.
"Ow. Right," Geoffrey groaned as he and the others climbed back into their van, the three dusting themselves off while wincing. The Gravel had not been kind to their inexperienced fall. "Remember," Geoffrey poked his head out of the van and above the windshield to speak to Stan, "one hour. Then we pass our final judgment."
"Of course!" Stan assured them, waving wide his hand above him. The van's wheels rolled it away, disappearing down the road until it vanished, where then Stan clapped a hand to his head. "Damn college students!"
"That's who they were?" Dipper asked, turning to Stan.
"No. Grad-school students, which is even worse!" Grunkle Stan groaned, "I've never had to deal with a group like that before! They really did their research! Had a thousand and one questions for every single thing! Gah! Okay, okay, so... so... the Mystery Manor is standing on the brink of total failure now," Grunkle Stan told them worriedly.
"Oh come on, Stan," Wendy groaned, "you can't really think these guys are actually trusted by anyone?"
"Well, I follow people online who dress and act crazier than those five," Mabel admitted, "but at least 'Crazy-Eating-Hour' admit to being nutso."
"Okay, you two," Stan looked to the twins, "I can't believe I'm actually hopeful for telling you this, but I need you two to find something crazy out there and bring it back to the shack."
"Wait, you actually want us to do this?" Dipper inquired, his mouth falling open in shock.
"It's like we're being hired to do what we do anyway!" Mabel told Dipper, pulling on his vest as she jumped excitedly in place.
"Yeah, you know, just do your thing! Get something back here that gives them a chance to not sink my life's investment!" Stan asked them strongly.
"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel saluted and then grasped her brother and held him close, "with our luck to run into life-threatening situations, we'll come back with something definitely weird!"
"Something dangerous, if you can manage," Stan told them, adjusting his hat, "maybe a manticore, if they're out there still. Just don't get yourselves killed, you got it?"
"We got it," Dipper nodded. He gave the journal in his vest a solid pat, looked to his sister, and the to of them hurried off into the woods together.
"So, bro-dee-bro," Mabel started conversation a minute after entering the woods, much safer than the last time they had go running off looking for a Doppelganger, as she lightly boxed his shoulder with her fists, "what's the plan?"
"Well," Dipper pulled out the journal and started skimming through, "the thing is we kind of have a whole mess of weird stuff that we can bring back with us. You know, Gnomes are dangerous," Dipper suggested.
"Ugh. The last thing I want is a favor with Jeff," Mabel stuck out her tongue, "besides, they look too much like us. Those PP people could just claim their just short people. Oh!" she pointed to a picture of a large long tail-feathered bird, flames bursting from its eyes, "maybe that!"
"A phoenix? According to the journal, they're dangerous and almost impossible to find. Constantly burning to anyone the bird doesn't trust," Dipper paraphrased, "or... maybe not. Same deal- a sleeping dragon would probably just burn everything down."
"How about that one?" Mabel pointed again, passing a page full of crystals. "Those little crystals were harmless, weren't they?"
"Hmm... they can't exactly be dangerous, and the light refractions they cause induce cellular growth on a healthy level without killing anyone," Dipper thought aloud, his sister opening her mouth in a groan, "what? What did I say that was too much nerd?"
"Everything?" she told him with a poke.
"Ow. Well, I'd have to find the crystal grove again anyway. I think that's the other direction too, so maybe we should rule that out for now," Dipper said as he turned the page. Then there was a loud yelp, in the bushes ahead. Dipper and Mabel stalled their movement, both watching ahead of them, ready to run or fight at a moments notice. Then a well-dressed, two foot tall figure stepped out, walking to them with open arms and a wide smile under his long nose.
"Ah! Dipper Pines!" the Goblin sentinel approached them, extending his arm towards Dipper.
"Sibs!" Dipper called back, eagerly shaking his hand.
"And the sister to Dipper, Mabel Pines!" Sibs smiled to Mabel, holding his hand to Mabel, "the great defeater of the woodland shapeshifter."
"I have a title like that?" Mabel gasped as she took his hand and vigorously shook it, "wow! Hardcore."
"Indeed. You both are heroes to the goblin community. We've had our first taste of old, fear free life since before the release of the shapeshifter two years ago," Sibs told them with a warm smile, "well, at least until the peace between us and the Gnomes wear off."
"Forest battles?" Mabel asked with excitement, "totally let us know when that's going down. The Gnomes are huge jerks."
"Mabel," Dipper scolded her, "don't encourage political upheaval and war please."
"Sorry," Mabel smacked the side of her head, "what was I thinking? But seriously," Mabel leaned closer to Sibs, "let us know." Sibs chuckled as he looked between the two teens.
"Well, what brings you to these woods?" Sibs asked the two of them, looking between them with a happy expectancy. "Anything I can help you with?"
"Actually," Mabel said slowly at first, "maybe there is. Dipper and I are looking around for something, or someone really cool to bring back to the Mystery Manor to show these official paranormal investigators that these lands are totally legit with monst- er, people like you!" she quickly corrected herself, as Dipper had cleared his throat at her almost usage of the word 'monster'.
"I say. How interesting that someone would need to investigate these woods at all. They merely need to ask for our maps and we can provide it to them, as long as they stay clear of our farms," Sibs added with warning.
"They're not that kind of investigators. They... Sibs," Dipper thought for a moment and tried again, "we need your help. These people don't believe that people like you exist. It's for the benefit of the the-"
"Ah, I'm afraid," Sibs bowed his head slightly, a disappointed look in his eyes, "I have to reject your idea."
"What? How come?" Mabel demanded.
"As is stated by Goblin law, we are not permitted to interact with outsiders without direct cause to. Allowing you to introduce me to these 'investigators' would violate that law," Sibs told them.
"But you met me," Dipper argued.
"Only under the pretense that you were the shapeshifter. Had we not been under alert that he was in our area, I would have disregarded you as a passer by," Sibs explained, truly sounding upset he could not help them. "I'm sorry, but I cannot leave my post for this."
"Aw, duck-sauce!" Mabel exclaimed angrily.
"But... perhaps I can direct you to where you can find something of worth," Sibs said cleverly, a small smile finally returning to his face.
"Wait, really?" Dipper asked excitedly.
"I can at least offer some help to the friends of Goblitropolis," Sips said as he turned in one direction, leading them towards a collection of tall mountains in the distance, "follow me friends. It's a short journey to the grove of earth."
"The grove of what?" Dipper and Mabel both repeated.
"For as long as Goblins have roamed these woods, which is... oh, I don't know, a while I suppose," Sibs guessed earnestly, "we have remained aware of a strange, ancient region in the forest that is to be respected and treated with care. Over time we have called it the grove of earth."
"Why is it the grove of earth?" Dipper asked as he passed under a large branch, pushing himself under and past it.
"We find many precious stones in the clearing of the grove, "Sibs admitted, "some of the stones we used to seal the Shapeshifter in it's final form were from the grove of the earth. Many magical forces do drift through these woods, and the grove collects much of it."
"Wow. So we're going to something really ancient and cool?" Mabel asked as pulled herself up onto a branch above them and started hopping from tree to tree.
"I suppose so, "Sibs nodded in agreement. Mabel poked her brother directly on the head as she passed above him, swinging from branch to branch with many of the low-hanging vines on these trees. Mabel had to drop down finally, realizing that the thickest part of the forest was up ahead, and stayed behind Dipper as they followed Sibs through the trees. Branches and leaves grew at ground level know, and the twins struggled to keep up with Sibs, still under all the vegetation. "There, pass those leafs," Sibs pointed to a wall of plant ahead, life bleeding through the thick brush.
"Awesome," Dipper nodded, saluting the sentinel, "we owe you."
"Do not worry about debts," Sibs shook his head as he walked past the twins, heading back, "however, don't tarry here. This place is both wondrous, and dangerous. Nature has a hold over this land."
A hold was a clear understatement. It was as if the forest had somehow melded into a jungle and meadow at the same time. Thick, low hanging vegetation clustered tightly by the floor, where small flickers of light and twinkles of stone glinted to the twins. Acting as a veil between this large clearing of trees was the vine-like, leafy they had just passed through. As their eyes scanned ahead, the land curved downwards, a gentle slope towards the center. There were large boulders near the center, some covered in vines and others in moss, making a larger inner circle.
"A hold huh?" Mabel said, spinning around to give the surrounding forest clearing, "maybe she'd shake our hand."
"Take what you can, and leave in a hurry," Sibs said as he slid back through the wall, "I bid you both good day."
"Thanks sibs!" The twins said as they watched the explorer slide away quietly.
"Alright, something cool," Mabel glanced around quickly, her eyes darting between the flickering light below her, casting glinting rainbows in her face, "oh! Look at this one!" She reached down and quickly lifted a gemstone, surprisingly shiny despite not being polished. "Or this one!" Mabel tossed the first one and found another. "OH! This one for sure!" she dived to another one after dropping the second.
Dipper laughed as Mabel dug around like an excited puppy, digging through the ground after the glinting stones. Dipper wasn't sure that any one of these stones could really count as particularly effective. He didn't doubt Sibs' authenticity- they probably did have some sort of magical properties, hence why they shined without polishing. But bringing a few gems without an immediate reaction or effect would just seal the Mystery Manor's fate. They needed something with more 'umph'.
"Oh," Mabel had almost run straight into a boulder, "excuse me, mister rock," Mabel patted the boulder, and climbed it easily, digging her fingers where there was sufficient grip and lifting herself up. "Oh, Dipper! Get up here! This place looks so cool from up here!"
"One sec," Dipper strained, still unable to perform the same physical feats his sister could perform. After two unsuccessful tries, she reached down, and assisted him up, holding his arm tightly as he climbed up. "Wow, you aren't kidding," Dipper admitted when he turned and stared out.
From their height, they could easily spot the many, possibly hundreds, of crystals and gems laid into the ground. They glistened and shone perfectly, as if a wave of energy passed through the area, creating a cascade of light that shone counter-clockwise, rippling around the inner circle of this nature's sanctuary. As Dipper and Mabel followed the path of the wave of light, they eventually faced the inside center of the area, and both gasped.
"That," they looked to each other before looking back to the center of the area, inside the circle of boulders. A smooth stone laid in the exposed dirt, as the plants did not grow past the boulders. It was pitch black, almost like it could not reflect color of any type. Yet as they watched it, it produced a shine of a rainbow- a sparkling ethereal flash of light that caused them to gasp. Neither of them had ever seen anything like it before.
"What is that?" Mabel whispered as she stared.
"That's our ticket to saving the Mystery Manor," Dipper told her and they again looked to one another, grinning. They didn't have much to work with, but something that emanated light like that while being pitch black certainly was worth investigation.
Dipper and Mabel slid down the boulder's side and towards the stone. Approaching it, they continued to exchange glances, as if to reconcile any worries or doubts they had, or just to share their excitement. This was it had been like three years ago, way back when two twelve year olds ran around the woods looking for werewolves and other monsters. Something like this could be more than just a way to save the Mystery Manor- it could be their next big mystery.
"Here goes nothing," Dipper said, and re reached forward with both hands, and touched the rock. They gasped; as his fingertips slid against the almost glass-like texture, light poured out from under his hands. "Holy crud, that's... really pretty," Dipper gasped as he stared at his hands, an aurora pouring out from under his hands.
"Wait, does that mean-" Mabel decided to test her theory first, ask questions later. She prodded her finger out and tapped the side. The light poured and then was whisked away as her touch fell away. "Omigoshthatssocool!" she spun around and hopped at the same time, whirling around like a tornado.
"Let's see if it's heavy," Dipper tried feeling the fingers around the imperfect contours of the smooth stone, and found its base. With a small grunt, he tried lifting upwards. The stone followed within his hands. The ground was flooded with the same kind of aurora of rainbows, as light poured out from his fingers. "We need to show this to them and then figure out what this is about."
The two sprinted out of the gully as fast as their legs could permit, and as fast as Dipper could go considering Mabel's impressive training. The young teen couldn't resist grabbing each branch and tossing herself forward slightly, climbing trees and dancing above Dipper as he ran ahead, swinging off vines- there was something about this discovery that put them in a wonderful mood.
The way it shone as they ran through the woods made everything in the world easier to handle, as if the issues and clear problems of life slowly evaporated before them. Maybe the rock induced a kind of euphoric effect. They were elated, the twins; laughing to one another as if they had just uncovered the greatest secret to life that there had ever been.
The Mystery Manor finally appeared in the distance, and the two broke for it. Not a muscle in their bodies complained as they rushed ahead, Dipper cradling the magnificent stone in his hands. Stan was leaning against the side of the wall, tapping his foot nervously as he watched the road.
"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel screamed as they charged over. The man spun to face them, and gasped.
"Whoa! Call me a beggar and throw me some change, that's one heck of a... what the heck is it?" Stan gasped as the object in Dipper's arms finally came into distance.
"A stone!" Mabel declared, "and just watch- GUYS!" Mabel screamed again to the shack, "SOOS! WENDY!" Barely a moment passed before the sounds of running steps echoed against the wooden floors. Soos appeared first, and Mabel couldn't wait. "Soos! Check it out!" Mabel stroked the side of the stone with her fingers, and the trail of light followed beautifully. Soos' eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he approached hypnotically.
"Oh wow. Do that again hambone," Soos asked, and Mabel did so, both Soos and Stan watched the stone as it shimmered. "That's some freaking cool looking thing. What does it do?"
"We don't know," Dipper admitted, yet sounded entirely excited with this prospect. Finally Wendy stepped out, looking around quickly, her eyes darting to Dipper and Mabel. "Wendy! Look! Mabel, do it again!" Mabel complied, and Dipper laughed and turned his eyes to Wendy.
His own smile faded when he looked to her. Wendy's expression was polar opposite to what he had expected. He face was stunned, almost shocked as she looked to the stone. Those strong green eyes gazed into the unrecorded object, locked onto the shimmering trail of light before it faded, but continued to stare afterwards. It was like she saw something else inside the rock Dipper held, and he felt that same magical warmth fade from him as he recognized the look in Wendy's eyes- worry.
"Wendy?" he asked loudly. She gasped and looked back to him.
"Huh? Yeah!" she nodded, "that's really something you two found. It kind of seems dangerous though, doesn't it?"
"What?" Stan laughed loudly as he turned to the red-head, "don't be ridiculous! It's a freaking touch-activated rock-bulb. How cool is that!?"
"I don't know," Wendy still stood her ground, taking a cautious step closer to the object, "where did you guys find it?"
"In a forest clearing," Mabel declared, the gleam in her eyes matching in intensity to the strength of her excited smile, "in a circle surrounded by pretty rocks and boulders. Some awesome stuff, but this was the king of cool!"
"I bet," Wendy nodded halfheartedly in reply, stepping closer to the stone. Dipper watched her. She reached out with her hand to touch it as the others had, but then she recoiled, holding her hand away from it. "Maybe we should put it back, you know dude?"
"Ha! Yeah right! As soon as those bozos are done apologizing to me," Stan told her as he wrapped an arm around Dipper, "and me and Dipper here go have a guys night out for saving the Mystery Manor, that's going on a pedestal for all the world to see and poke at- for twenty bucks each!"
"C'mon Wendy," Soos patted his co-workers back, "when did a glowing dark rock thingy ever cause harm?"
Wendy frowned and looked to Dipper. It had been a long time since Dipper had the chance to connect with another soul with the simple look between the eyes, aside from him and Mabel doing it consistently. It had happened once with Wendy before, in the cave of the Shapeshifter, and it happened here now. Dipper felt Wendy's convictions; she truly felt the object was somehow putting them at harm.
"Maybe, uh," Dipper suddenly piped up, no longer confident about his choice of souvenir from the forest, "we can put it back and then lead them to the spot? We can say we just found and that it'll be an attraction to tourists soon enough?"
"Look Dipper, I know Wendy's all freaking out," Stan gave him a weary look, "but this rock thingy? C'mon, look at it! You just feel all... young and happy when you look at it. Eugh. Remind me to only have you bunch mess around with it for now on," Stan told them as he turned away from it. "Now, go put it inside on a shelf or something for now. Actually heck, just go knock off the Jackalope stuff and put it on that pedestal."
Dipper gave Wendy one more look. She said nothing, but her gaze plead for action. Nothing short of taking it back into the forest would appease her. Then again, this would only be for a short while. The North Pacific Paranormal People would be returning from their gambit at Greasy's Diner, and would be directed quickly to the stone. Maybe all they had to do is keep the stone for an hour, maybe even only thirty minutes.
"Let's go put it inside, for now," Dipper said to them all, but keeping his stare with Wendy. She blinked and shook her head. The pressure to please that Dipper was riding on tightened and latched against his heart. Had he let her down?
"Well, c'mon bro!" Mabel tugged and pulled Dipper inside, leading him inside, past the others, "let's do the honors of welcoming the newest member of the Mystery Twins discovered oddities!"
"Mabel," Dipper said as he and his sister walked inside, past the Gift shop and towards the museum they had worked on earlier, "I'm thinking Wendy is on to something."
"Pfff, she's just being cautious," Mabel waved a hand easily, "you know, since every other time we come out of the woods something was chasing slash stalking us."
"She seemed worried about it," Dipper added, pouring some of his own guilt from not listening to her into that statement. Mabel's ears detected it, and turned to him. He spotted her gaze, and not wanting to let on his feelings, added, "I mean, if you were that freaked out, or I was, wouldn't you be a little, you know, nervous?"
"Hmm... you raise a good point," Mabel nodded in thought as they continued to walk towards the Jackalope stand, "and she's pretty good with that whole 'detecting' weird stuff thing. Like how she knew the shapeshifter wasn't you? Wonder how she does it..."
"I don't know, and really I don't care. If it helps with us, we can ask questions later," Dipper told her strongly. Mabel gasped, placing her hands at her cheeks as she stared at him. "What?" Dipper asked her.
"Dipper Pines: mystery and puzzle addict, willing to put aside a chance to understand something just because it's someone we trust? Wow!" Mabel poked his nose, "dork."
"Ack," Dipper waved his face away from her prod, "I just trust Wendy. It's not like I stay up late thinking about Wendy's mysteries," Dipper lied.
"Uh huh," Mabel gave her brother a critical stare, analyzing his well constructed poker face. If she had sought a weakness in his facial defense, she wound up disappointed. Mabel took her frustrated look and directed the energy towards the pedestal. "Well, put it down," she told Dipper as he gave the stone on more look. He went to wipe off any remaining dirt from the bottom, and yet found nothing. With gentle ease, he placed the mystical stone on the pedestal.
"Well, let's hope nothing comes of this, aside from keeping the Mystery Manor in business," Dipper told his sister as he stared that the barely shimmering black stone.
"Pfft. What could possibly go wrong?" Mabel gave his brother an elbow.
A moment passed where they stood across one another, staring to one another, awaiting fate's inevitable ironic twist to Mabel's words. Yet nothing came. No explosion, no cry for help, not even a tremor of the ground. No sigh of Murphy's law appearing in their day. Dipper actually nodded, satisfied with the result.
"That's a nice change," he admitted.
"Yeah, I was kind of expecting a scary voice from the stone after I said that, or maybe a boom from the-" there was a rumble from the ground, and the two groaned, "Oh, come on! Really? Can we, just for once, not have-" more shaking booms were following the original.
"That can't be good!" Dipper shouted as they both turned away and ran towards the door. Bursting out of the gift shop door, the twins found the three outside staring at the distant canopy of the woods. The booms were even louder, and birds were darting out of trees. Then trees were collapsing in the wake of these booms. More and more earth trembling shakes heralded the astounding arrival of the coming danger.
Huge figures, shaped like humans more or less, comprised of stone, moss, tree, vine, and plant stepped out of the woods, easily as tall as the Mystery Manor. Their features were varied, as one approaching creature was comprised entirely of a massive tree, using a split trunk as feet and legs, and two very thick and long branches as arms. Another was a boulder covered in moss, held together by some unseen force of magic, as smaller rocks acted as stubby arms and legs with hands and feet of fist sized rocks. Four of these beings strode out of the woods, the moss-covered boulder being the lead. It came to a stop just before the Mystery Manor, and turned to the others.
Lowering itself to speak to the four watching it in fear, it rumbled in a slow, dangerous growl, "I seek the thief."
Dipper gulped, and then Wendy prodded his shoulder with her elbow. "Told you guys."
The North Pacific Paranormal People, the greatest competition Ghost Chasers have had in their long running show. No, sorry, there won't be any direct crossovers with Supernatural, so don't cross your fingers... yet. ;)
Classic rock! Wow. Bet you were expecting something a bit more musically inclined. Well, there was Duskhope in there. And that rock thing seemed classy. So HA! But on a 'Author has stuff planned wink wink nudge nudge', you should start remembering the little things in this chapter and those to come.
Brownie or cookie points go to whoever gets what I'm almost directly referencing in the national tabloid Stan read.
Well, hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I'll see you guys-
(A large boulder comes crashing through the ceiling, crushing EZB and his entire room in it's weight. Riding the boulder is Metallica, performing a sick performance for the viewers because 'Hey? Why not?')