Disclaimer: It should be obvious that I don't own it.

A DRUG TO KILL-

"Sir, for the last time, I have not seen Edward here. I think you are overreacting and you need to calm down. If I do come across him, I will be sure to inform you." The phone at Central Headquarters briskly disconnected when Hawkeye hung up, leaving a dull resounding dial tone piercing his ear.

Roy sighed irritably and continued his laboured pacing around the bedroom. That was the third time he had checked in with his subordinates, questioning everyone about the blonde. They merely told him exactly what Riza just repeated, "Don't worry." How could he not? No one other than himself knew exactly what Ed had been through. The fact that the boy mysteriously vanished before Roy awoke was inexplicitly… wrong. There stood no way that he could have miraculously woken up after what occurred in the morning.

Where else could he be? He wasn't at work, or researching in the library, and Mustang searched the entire house looking for him.

The Colonel halted his meticulous circular route to stare at himself in the mirror. He looked haggard and unshaven with dark bangs rimming his eyes.

In a strange dejection Roy opened the closet door in front of him, hoping that in this last unsearched place the blonde may have been playing a sadistic charade of hide and seek.

Clothes positioned on hangers and shoes littering the floor met his eyes, but still no Edward.

The shelf above was crammed with extra clothes of Ed's for when he spontaneously decided to stay there. A lone elastic hair tie lay undisturbed until Roy grabbed it and snapped it onto his wrist. The sentimentality of it helped somewhat.

Mustang flew out of his daze as something clicked into place. Something so blatantly obvious he should have realized it from the start. If Full Metal was not there with him, then he had to be with Alphonse.

The calm, collected commander sprang to the telephone at his bedside and clumsily dialled the dorms. All the while he prayed that at least one of them was there.

'Hello?'

Roy nearly died with relief at the hesitant greeting. "Alphonse, this is Colonel Mustang-"

'Colonel! Um… Why are you calling sir?' There was a brief half second pause before he could reply. 'Is something wrong with Brother?'

Slowly, the hope that had arisen died out. "You mean Full Metal is not there with you?"

'No sir. I thought he was with you… But if he's not there, then where is he?!'

"That's precisely why I called you."

Al awkwardly tried to maneuver his large body on the small seat while Mustang sat opposite of him. He was determined to find Ed, now that they had an idea of where he went.

'Wait a minute! Colonel, how old did Ed say that he was?'

'…I believe it was nine, close to ten. What does that have to do with finding him?'

'Well, you see… If it was seven years back around this time of year it would be right around when our Mother died.'

'I see. So you're saying he went back.'

'Yeah, back to go and see Mom.'

With Risembool in their sights they had set off for the tiring train ride. If what the Colonel said was true, then it would mean that Ed had been forced to once again witness her death.

'I am coming with you sir.'

'Now Alphonse, I'm sure there's no need for the both of us to go.'

'Y-you don't understand. He's probably really unstable emotionally after seeing… that again. Who knows what it could drive him to do.'

In the end Al won and they sat where they were now.

His previous words apparently had a harsher effect on the older man than he originally intended. Alphonse seriously doubted that his brother would go to such drastic lengths as to actually hurt himself. But that was the thing with Ed. While rage and anger could easily be spotted on his face, it was different with mental pain. He sealed it up and spoke of it to no one. So with Edward, Al never really knew just how far he would go.

Roy startled Alphonse out of his thinking, "Shouldn't he have already overcome the fact that she'd dead?"

"I don't think he ever did. At her funeral I was bawling like a baby, but Brother never cried. Even afterwards, not even once did he acknowledge any pain. He always bottles all of those feeling s up."

Roy sighed, "You would never know by looking at him what he carries around."

He curled his body tighter on the cold damp grass. The setting sun behind him cast a long shadow from the stone grave. His fingers grasped the ground until dirt stuck under his nails. Subconsciously, he rolled closer to the words 'Loving Mother', as close as possible.

This was what they came to see. Edward sleeping on the ground.

Al ran ahead, calling his brother's name frantically, trying to get him to awaken. But he received no recognition whatsoever.

As Mustang approached he saw the distraught armour shake Ed's shoulders.

The blonde moaned and dug his fingers deeper into the soil while tears began to run down his face.

Roy placed a hand on Alphonse's shoulder and shook his head. "The Rockbell residence is nearby here, isn't it? Why don't you go and visit them and I'll stay here with Full Metal."

Al hesitated leaving his obviously disturbed brother. Yet he paused when he witnessed the look on the Colonel's face.

He had seen that look adorn his mother on the many occasions she stared into the distance, thinking of their father. Edward told him that they never discussed 'love' in their relationship before. Because it would probably just end up as a fling, merely a physical lust.

But it was that look that made Al comply and realize that his brother had been wrong.

Roy carefully covered the blonde with his jacket. The night air was becoming far too cold. He gingerly rubbed the small back to try and comfort the one that couldn't hear him over his own sobs.

The events of late made him realize just how many secrets his lover kept hidden from him. And he wondered how he never noticed this sort of blunt pain before.

"Is that why you push people away? So that they don't see you break down like this?" He asked in a whisper.

Then again, who was he to be a hypocrite?

AN: -.- This chapter was a bloody pain to get out, so I hope you people are happy! I planned the rest of the chapters, and it looks like there'll be two or three more chapters left.