The Date - Part 1: Too Young to Die (The woes of a herbivore)
~()~
He likes Kyoko. What's there to not like about her? She's the school Madonna, the ray of sunshine, the kindest and most beautiful girl ever to grace the humble town of Namimori. He has to date her at least one.
The problem is that he's already dating someone else, and he knows how jealous his current girlfriend will get. (Dating is his way of showing a girl how wonderful she is, only the problem is there's only one of him and way too many girls. Some people don't know how to share. Most people don't, surprisingly.) The other problem is that he's pretty sure Tsuna has already claimed her as his.
There are things Mochida will and will not do to date a girl, and fighting Tsuna to date a girl in his pack—because Mochida's 99 percent sure Tsuna's a leader of a pack that includes Kyoko, Hana, Takeshi, Ryohei, and Kyouya of all people—is up there on the top of the list of things he will not do.
(Mochida blames Kyouya for his habits of comparing human society to animal groups because their dads are cousins—which makes them second-cousins, horrifyingly enough. He also blames their parents for making them interact, as if that would cure Kyouya of his odd social behaviors. Haha. Well jokes on them because it is contagious.)
It will be a cold day in hell when Mochida admits that he is a herbivore to anyone but Hibari. A herbivore who's competing with all the other boys to be head of the herd. A herbivore that a carnivore might just kill one day.
Mochida's not sure what Kyouya thinks Tsuna is, but it sure as hell isn't a herbivore.
Hopefully, he's not as territorial as Kyouya is or else Mochida is dead. Because guess whose fellow kendo club members decided to ask Kyoko out on a date in his stead. Guess who's constantly looking over his shoulder because she said yes.
It's him.
His club members are bleeding hearts and they also believe that Tsuna's a shy little mouse who can't harm a fly. His club members don't realize that Tsuna regularly, regularly, hangs out with Kyouya, and Mochida has seen Tsuna drag Kyouya to his house to join him for dinner. More than one or two times.
His house, which Mochida knows has at least three children, Sawada Nana, that weird baby who sounds a lot like Kyouya's maternal uncle, a woman who's in love with said baby and is the brother of one Gokudera Hayato, Gokudera Hayato himself, occasionally Yamamoto Takeshi…
Mochida could go on forever but his point is: Dinner over there is the very definition of crowding and Kyouya lets himself go there semi-frequently. Mochida's first cousin once-removed—which is Kyouya's father—stopped by the Mochida household months ago and nearly cried at how well his son was making friends.
Therefore, Tsuna, who faints about twenty times a year, is a miracle worker. Anyone who crosses him or his pack, will be subjected to the wrath of everyone else in his pack. Mochida is understandably paranoid as he exits the school.
And then he sees Kyouko, standing by the gates with Hana and Gokudera and—oh dear God—Tsuna. She also sees him.
"Mochida-kun! I'm looking forward to Saturday!" she says, waving eagerly at him as he tries to speed away.
Mochida stops and turns. Fraternizing with Tsuna's pack was bad enough, but ignoring and not showing proper respect to the pack—especially in front of their leader—would be worse. With a tentative wave, he replies. "Yeah. Really looking forward to it."
Looking forward to dying, that is.
~()~
AN: Accidentally started writing in present tense and The first in the Date Saga. Mochida's just doesn't appear much in fanfics besides that one kendo match and that one mention during the Kokuyo Arc. Pretty sure I butchered his characterization, but I like this paranoid, herbivorous Mochida. If we're going with animal comparisons, I like to imagine him as a red deer, with antlers to fight off and a harem of females. (Male red deer have harems, fyi. I spent too much time researching that.)
And Kyouya's a mute swan. Beautiful to look at until you cross its territory(its nest) and it attacks you. (Also spent more time than necessary researching this.)
If you haven't noticed by now, this is also the au where I throw in random ideas about Kyouya's social skills and relatives among other things. And no, just because Mochida thinks he's going to die for dating Kyouko does not necessarily mean she's Tsuna's wife.