CHAPTER TWELVE – Becoming Increasingly Confused.
The books dropped to the ground. One landed on my foot but I barely acknowledged it. The body on pushing on mine pushed a little harder. Squashing me against the wall.
"Been a long time, Annabeth," his voice drawled. It made me want to burst out crying. Made me want to curl into a ball until I died. Made my insides quake and my heart race and my blood course fear throughout my body. "I've missed you, Annabeth." This sent a shiver down my spine.
Slowly, I forced my eyes up to his. They were the same blue. They held the same menacing and dominating look as they did when I got away. They held the same lust and envy that he'd started to get every time he used to look at me. He was the same. He hadn't changed since the last time.
I want to cry. To throw up. To die. I can't go through it all again. Not again.
"You're looking good, Beth," he used the old nickname he'd given me. My heart tugged uncomfortably when he said it. "You're looking"- he leaned in closer to me. He body was completely covering mine. His face was inches from my own –"real good. I like it. I think we should really go out sometime. Get to know each other again. It'll be like old times. You remember them, don't you Beth?"
His nose touched mine. He was searching my eyes. I could see all the amusement and the fun he was having with doing this to me. He was getting off on this. On frightening me. On reminding me.
Of course I remembered. And he knew that. Luke knew that I would remember everything that happened. Everything that he did to me.
"I'm looking forward to acquainting ourselves again," he grinned maliciously at me. I felt one of his hands slide down my body. All over it. There was a double meaning to his words. "Thank you for coming back to me, Beth. I'll see you real soon."
The force on me disappeared as he stepped back. He grinned slyly again, then turned and walked back through the shelves.
I stayed there, not moving, for seconds. My knees gave out. I slid down the wall to the ground. Tear after tear seemed to spill from my eyes. But I didn't wipe them away. There wasn't anyone else around. No one saw what just happened. There was no one that could help me.
Pulling myself together at the end of the free session, I scrambled up, using the wall for support. My knees still shook slightly.
Okay, Annabeth, get out of here. Now. Before someone sees.
Forgetting the books all on the floor, I strutted out of the library. Head up. Back straight. Looking like an obnoxious bitch. Kids actually moved out of the way, shooting me cautious looks.
Then I saw her. That girl I fought with. What did Percy say her name was? Claire? Carman? No, it was something Cl… Clary…Clarisse! That's it.
She was walking like she owned the place. Sneering at anybody who dared look at her. She looked around and spotted me. Her gaze turned into a laser. Her fists bunched up at her side. Her pace seemed to pick up.
Keeping my eyes locked on her, I made sure that I didn't let her see all the emotions that were raging around in me still. A small smile quirked at the corner of my mouth, but other than that I was expressionless.
"Bitch, you better move out my way," she demanded as she stopped directly in front of me.
"Bitch, I don't think so," I smirked at her.
Clarisse went reddish. Her glare amped up a notch. The anger ready to explode.
From the corner of my eyes I saw the fist fly at my face. Faster than her, I brought an arm up and blocked the blow, while using my other arm's elbow to hit her in the stomach. She doubled over, slightly winded. But then she looked – no, glared – up at me. Lunging at me, I was tackled to the floor. My back took most of the fall but my head still smacked the floor hard. The manly girl grabbed my shoulders and shook me around like a rag-doll. I screeched, pissed. With a right hook to the face, she let me go. Back-handing her, she fell to the side of me.
"GAH!" Clarisse exclaimed.
I tried to scramble away but my movements seemed to become slower. Like I was losing energy. Her hand grabbed my left wrist – the one closest to her – and twisted.
"Ahh!"
Trying to ignore the pain she was inflicting on me, I got a fistful of her hair and yanked hard. A chunk came out.
"Motherfucker!" she exclaimed in pain and anger.
She let go of my wrist only to grab at my throat. Somehow she managed to get on top of me, her meaty hands encircling around my throat. She was squeezing hard enough to make me have to gasp for air. Black spots started to dance in my vision.
"I. Always. Win," she growled down at me. There was blood in her mouth. Her nose was bleeding again. There was also lump starting to form on her left cheek, near her ear.
An idea came to me through my fogged-up brain. I grinned at her slowly. It shocked her for a second as she was very obviously confused.
"Wrong," I spat up at her in a strangled voice. "I win again."
Before the words could actually sink in, I brought my hand up in a fist and hit the lump on her cheek with enough force to leave her head ringing. She fell off me from the force and I quickly took that opportunity to roll out of her reach. Coughing and spluttering, my vision started to get dark again. Stars and with explosions popped up in the haze.
Arms suddenly came up under my armpits and hoisted my up. Trying to fight back, I blinked yet my vision was still in a total haze. My legs fell out from under me but the arms supporting me kept me from falling.
"No," I gasped, trying to wriggle away and get my arms – or at least one – free.
"Annabeth, calm down," Percy Jackson's voice whispered in my ear. "It's Percy. Stop fighting. We have to get you out of here."
"What?"
Moving my head to see the scene I realized what was happening around us. There were heaps of students around. Yelling, gesturing, all for us to keep fighting. When did they all turn up here? There were some people next to us booing Percy for helping me. There was a few, though, that were trying to ask me if I was okay. They were trying to come and help me.
On the opposite side, some tough looking boys were helping Clarisse to her feet. She really didn't look so good. Blood and bruises. But once she caught my eye I could still see her determination and the fire in her eyes. She was ready for round two, even though she was very obviously in worse condition than me. Like my side, there were a lot of bystanders that were trying to ignite the fight again. But there were also the odd person trying to fix the blood nose on Clarisse.
"Let's go," Percy hauled me through the crowds of students. He kept pulling me through the school, still with his arms supporting my weight from under my own arms. Teachers rushed pasted us, not even giving us a second look. They thought that the fight was still going on. Actually, it may be. Some else may have gotten into it within the circle of teenagers.
Percy pulled us to a sudden stop.
"Mr Brunner, I-" Percy began, looking down at the man within the wheelchair that we'd almost run right over.
"Don't worry, Percy," he said. His eyes looked kind and worried as he assessed my state. "Go get her some help. Quickly. I'll see you both another day."
The two guys seemed to start moving at the same time. Mr Brunner continued on his way to the ring of the fight, while Percy took me further away. Soon we were both out the front door. I didn't know where Percy was leading me. I didn't recognize the route. It wasn't to the Crow Lady's place.
"Hold on, Annabeth," he told me, whispering in my ear again.
He supported me until we reached an apartment building. He still held onto me as we waited for the lift to come down. Then in the lift I used the wall to keep standing. Percy hovered close by. He didn't say anything as we rode higher. He was just there.
With a "Ping" the doors opened. Percy took hold of me again. My knees still shook. He took me to a door then fumbled around with the key. Finally he managed to get the door open. Taking me through the house, he put me carefully on the couch.
"Stay," he instructed. Percy moved off. I could hear him rummaging through cupboards. But my eyes were closing. They wouldn't stay open.
I don't understand. Why did I feel like this? I haven't felt like this before. Not when he had done everything. But why know? Why do I feel so…tired…with no energy? I felt fine before. Well, physically fine anyway. My emotions were in turmoil.
"Hey. Hey, Annabeth, stay awake for me, okay?" came Percy's voice. I felt two hands on either side of my face for a brief few seconds. "Open your eyes again, Annabeth. Come on."
Using some of the reserve energy I had left, I cracked my eyes open enough to see out of them slightly. I saw Percy clearly. He was right in front of me. His black, shaggy hair seemed shaggier and more of a mess than usual. His ocean-coloured eyes didn't hide how worried he actually was.
"Stay awake for me," he repeated. He grabbed something from a bucket. A cloth. He wrung it until it was damp. "This might sting a little." He brought it up to my eyebrow and gently began to dab at my face.
I winced. Ow. Ow ow ow. When did I get that? I don't remember getting hit there…
"The split doesn't look too deep, luckily," Percy commentated as he cleaned me up. "There is a trail of blood, though. You've got a bit of a scratch on your cheek, too. Clarisse must have used her nails or something. After this, I'll fix your hand up."
"Why?" my voice was a croaky whisper. It was all I could manage.
"Well," he looked down at my hand. Then back at me. "It doesn't look alright; let's just put it that way."
It took a few minutes more for Percy to finish with my face. He then gently, carefully, picked up my left hand, examining it.
"Annabeth, does it hurt?"
"Numb." The single word was all I could manage.
"Shit," he bit his lip as he stared at my hand, contemplating something. He looked up at me. "I'm not really sure if that is good or bad," he admitted. "But I'll put some ice on it to bring down the swelling around your wrist. When my mum gets home she'll be able to do something more for it."
Laying my hand back down, he disappeared to somewhere. My eyes closed again.
"Annabeth. Annabeth, wake up," Percy's voice broke in again. "Hey, hey, open your eyes for me again." Again his hands capped my face. Slowly, my eyes opened again. "Annabeth, I need to ask you something." His eyes had changed again. There was concern and hurt in them now as well. "I saw them, Annabeth. I saw the c-cuts"- he stumbled over the word –"on your wrist. And the other one. They're new. When was the last time you c-did that? Annabeth?"
My eyes shifted away from his. Over to the white wall behind him. There was a TV sitting on there, blocked mostly by Percy's head.
"Annabeth, please," he begged. His hands moved my head so that I was forced to look at him. If I had more energy I would have knocked him away or pushed past him. His sea-trapped eyes searched my own grey ones. "This morning." He stated it. He knew it was true. And he seemed so hurt by it.
Why the fuck does he care? Why the fuck is he doing this? The fuck is Percy playing at? Is this just something that he put Percy up to? What is really going on here?
"Why do you care?" I managed to spit at him with a glare.
Percy's face fell. He looked completely agonised. A feeling I hadn't felt for a while turned over inside of me: guilt.
"Because I know what it's like to be where you are. I know what you're feeling. I've been there. I've been to Hell but I've come back. Life's fucked you around. Life's also fucked me around. Annabeth, I care because I recognise pain on the inside when I see it."
So, it's been like, a week since my last update and I'm incredibly sorry. Again. I know this is everyone's excuse, but school has been crazy. And Military. And work. Then there's the Mate program (where I volunteer to help every Thursday afternoon at the Special school just down the road from my own school).
Do you guys get those times where everything builds up and bottles inside you until the smallest thing sets of this whole chain of effects and you just breakdown? Yeah? No? Sorta? Well, you sorta get what I mean, I hope. Anyway, I had 2 of them in the last month (which was...*brain slowly ticking over, trying to remember what the name of the last month was*...May).
Now some people might be all like, "Yeah, well, bitch get the hell over it, I have one every freaking week". But the thing is: I don't have breakdowns often. The last one was last year (to be even more precise, it was the day after my own birthday). So having breakdowns so close together is a scary thing for me.
I also found out (the hard way, of course. Seriously, is there not any other way to find things out?) that an anxiety reaction I have is when my jaw wobbles. Like, it literally shakes. You know how your teeth chatter together when it's cold? Well it's like that except my teeth don't actually chatter together (thank God) but my jaw keeps bobbing like no-freaking-tomorrow.
Anyway, I just wanta clear something up that I am kicking myself for not fixing it before I posted the chapter. Now, someone, (sorry, it only says "guest" on the review) pointed out that people would notice all the cuts on Annabeth's arms. Just wanta say that I was meant to put down that she was wearing long sleeves. A lot of people don't show their scars and Annabeth isn't that type of person to really do something like that.
On this chapter, though, I'm not sure if I really like it all that much... It just seem to be...flowy... But the good news is that Percy is actually starting to show his true nature. He's beginning to look out for Annabeth. He's beginning to trust her. And he's opening up to her (next chapter - at the very start). So ya'll gonna find out more about Percy now.
I'm trying to put a bit more "feels" into this story but I don't think that it is working out. I think it needs more emotion to be felt by you guys, but I can't seem to get it right. Sorry everyone. I feel like I've let you down on that. I'll try my best to make it better in the whole "feelings" department. I promise.
And to everyone who can't believe that this is my first FanFic, well, yeah, it is actually true. I write for myself, usually. they're my own stories that I would literally run back into a burning house to save. They're kind of like - a life line. It's like, people draw or sing or dance or paint or create master pieces or read or run or watch shows or movies, all to find a release for themselves. I write. One person has only ever read any of my stories (of course, not including this one) and they said they loved it. But I'm just afraid that someone will read one of them and totally hate it straight up. They're all original, so it's like someone ripping out your heart, stomping on it, tearing it up and burning the edges, then sticky-taping it together again.
That's how strongly I feel about my stories. If your a writer or composer or a creator in general, do you get this way over you're own works?
I'm really shocked to see how many followers I actually have on this Percabeth story. It's crazy. It's...well, it feels awesome! I mean, all you guys actually like my writing! You sure you are feeling fine?
Okay, I've gotta end this and get back to my assignment. It geography. And it's due tomorrow. I just came home form work so I am pulling an all-nighter on this piece of scientific bullshit. And I mean bullshit. I have no idea what I am writing so I am just bullshitting my way through it and hoping for the best.
"Expect the worst but hope for the best." Now this, I live by.
It's also my birthday next Wednesday and I really want my Learners. You see, I have life planed out. And a big part of it is getting my Learners as soon as possible. To be in the police force, you need a licence. Sure I'm not going in straight after school, but it would be amazing to not have to rely on my parents to always have to go out of their way for me.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all of you reading and following and favouriting! It seriously means so much to me (if you can't already tell)!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all who reviewed this as well! I always get watery eyes when I read all the praise for ya'll. Thank you so, so, so, so, so, much for it!
I totally love you all! You all mean so much to me! I hope that you've had a good day and I hope that everyone gets a good night's sleep for me (because I so won't be at the rate this assignment is going).
Remember, guys, if you guys have a talent, a dream, or just something you're passionate about, do it. Make time for it. Don't let it go to waste. Don't not do anything about it! If it makes you feel complete and you love it, embrace it! We never know what might be waiting for us tomorrow or even in the next hour. Do the thing that makes you most happy before you find yourself regretting it.
- Cassie.