Here I am! Had a horrible week! School, then all the hype about the elections, posters all around, people screaming about how great they are, more school, tons of homework, then this stupid institute which claims to prepare you for the Medical Entrance Exam, where I had to put in six gruelling hours. I confess I understood absolutely nothing. Then my boyfriend becomes all sentimental about me moving and becomes dark and brooding and all in all, this was NOT my week.
To all reading this story..I hope you've had a great Easter!
To my reviewers: you guys, I dont know what I would do without you. I have been trying very hard to write better and I hope my writing style has improved. If it has, it's all thanks to you guys!
This poem was written by Victor Hugo for King Louis XVII, I think. I forget his number. The little boy who was killed during the French Revolution. I read this poem at an Elocution competition once, and it always struck me how one could be a King at one point of time and a cipher the next. I think thse lines describe not just Edmund but all the monarchs really well.
I dedicate this chapter to my Grandad. He is very, very ill. And I just wanted to tell him that he was the best, even when I was less than perfect, he always had a chocolate hidden up his sleeve. I was always the best ballet dancer, rockstar, artist and whatever other talent I had to display, in his eyes. In a way, I think the poem describes him too, you know, a man once so full of vigour, now in a hospital bed. Life is pretty strange.
CHAPTER 11: THE LOST KING
Whilst the Eternal in the infinite said, -
"O king, I kept thee far from human state,
Who hadst a dungeon only for thy throne,
O son! rejoice and bless they bitter fate,
- The slavery of kings thou hast not known.
What if thy wasted arms are bleeding yet,
And wounded with the fetter's cruel trace.
No earthly diadem has ever set
A stain upon thy face.
"Child, life and hope were with thee at thy birth;
But life soon bowed thy tender form to earth,
And hope forsook thee in thy hour of need.
Come, for thy Saviour had his pains divine;
Come, for his brow was crowned with thorns like thine;
His sceptre was a reed."
-VICTOR HUGO.
I was hurt. There was no other word for it. I might be conspiring, shallow, selfish and whatever it was that King Edmund had accused me of, but I would never dream of hurting Queen Lucy and King Peter. I liked Lucy too much for that. As for King Peter, the only relationship I had with him was that of a tentative friend. I felt terrible that someone would accuse me of such unfounded allegations.
I was no stranger to hurtful words. The other Ladies, my own Father who resented me for not being a boy, my Mother at times when I failed to do things perfectly, I knew them quite well. They had never affected me as much as King Edmund's words.
I went down into the kitchen and tears burned my eyes. I completely lost my composure as I sat down and sobbed, as quitely as I could.
As my sobs subsided to sniffles, I assessed the situation. I would not..could not relate this incident to anyone. It would just put a damper on the happiness that Susan's arrival would bring. The only thing to do would be to somehow put it across to King Edmund that he was wrong. And if I lost my composure, tht would never be the case. I drew myself up. I would not speak to him unless it was absolutely necessary, I would avoid him and I would distance myself from the Pevensies.
I went up to bed, deciding that the best way to deal with King Edmund would be to not to acknowledge him.
The next morning, I went down with Lucy, who, if she had seen my red rimmed eyes, made no comment. Perhaps she knew, perhaps she didn't. Queen Lucy was more perceptive than people gave her credit.
Queen Susan was to arrive late that afternoon. We would all go to the port to pick her up. King Edmund glanced up cursorily and then locked his eyes with mine. I gave him an indfferent look and smiled a frosty smile at him. He raised his eyebrows.
"Good morning, Ki..I mean Peter." I said.
King Peter smiled at me. "Good morning!" he said.
"Good morning, Mr and Mrs. Pevensie!"
"Good morning, dear!" they said.
"Edmund." I said, nodding at him.
He nodded back, one eyebrow still raised. Hah! I would be the bigger person and show him that I would not be petty like him.
"Arrianna!" King Peter called out to me after breakfast.
"Yes?" I said.
He motioned for me to follow him. as I did, I noticed King Edmund looking at me pointedly. Feeling cheeky, I looped my hand through King Peter's. King Peter looked surprised but thankfully did not comment on it.
King Edmund got up from the table and walked briskly up the stairs. Good!
I followed King Peter to the front porch. We sat down on the steps and King Peter looked at me with outmost sincerity.
"Lady Arrianna, I must ask a favour of you. Bot Edmund and I have decided that, well.. it is better for you not to tell Susan about your real identity for now. I mean, Susan is…well..she is trying really hard to forget Narnia." King Peter stated.
I paled.
"Forget Narnia!" I said, scandalised.
King Peter nodded gravely.
"You see, Susan had lost somuch when we came back. You do not understand. That is alright. You have to see that you are quite young, only sixteen. I was twenty when I was in Narnia and Susan nineteen. We have both seen so much, learned so much, experienced so much. It is alright for Edmund and Lucy. They were more or less nearer to their age therethan they are here. Edmund left when he was 17 and he entered when he was 12. And Lucy was 10 when she entered and 15 when she left. It is not too vast a difference for them. But for us, it is difficult to adjust. We were used to taking descisions. Used to people listening to us. And now, even though I am 19 here, it is not the custom for a nineteen year old to make his descisions. I am to start college this fall, learn what I already know, experience what I already have."
"Susan is just trying to fit in. She is so afraid of losing it all again, that she wont let herself believe in Narnia." King Peter said, and my heart nearly broke at his explanation.
Being in Narnia had made them lose their love for this world. To them, it was nothing more than a prelude to something more wonderful. Now I knew why Aslan had sent me here.
To make the broken Kings and Queens whole again, to make these great, amazing, experienced,old people young again, for here they had nothing to laugh for, nothing to live for, no one to rule for.
And I think I understood King Edmund better then.
King Edmund's betrayal of Narnia is a story everyon knows. Yet we treated it as a story for youngsters, to tell them that it is never too late to repent and that evn the greatest and the mightiest make mistakes, and that one just has to redeem oneself.
But it seems he never forgave himself. That is why he was constantly on the look out for threats to his siblings, threats to Narnia,threats to the things he held dear. And that is why he had never allowed himself to trust me. After all, why should he? I had given him reason to doubt me, I had sought to entrap King Peter (who turned out to be not so gullible after all, I should have one for that nice Lord instead), I had never once thought of marriage or friendship as more than political alliance and for me Love was a notion for those who had too much free time.
And I think he understood the sentiment readily. He was too cynical to believe in Love and had recognised my intentions immediately. Sometimes, I think he was jealous of King Peter's open, cheerful nature, for he, even though he never let down his guard, had the gift of making people feel at ease. He also envied Queen Lucy's trusting nature and her inclination towards the better side of everyone.
Other people when viewing King Edmund might see an intelligent, young man with cynical, dry humour and ready wit. A man who could as easily hunt you down with his eyes alone as he could defeat you at chess, a dangerous man who was not to be crossed.
I could see past that. And what I saw was a man trying hard, too hard, to redeem himself for sins he committed too long ago. I could see a misplaced King, sometimes touching his head as if to search for the missing crown, a man who carried himself regally in a world of slumped shoulders.
I knew then. I did not have it in me to hold a grudge against person who was so obviously hurting more than me.