Kai: Alright, now on to Blood on the Bedspread 12!

Yui: Ironicly, nobody reads our fan-fiction anymore.

Kai: So why continue?

Yui: Cause there are still a few hard-core readers out there who possibly will kill us if we discontinue!

Kai: Yes we're talking to you Atama! And anyone else who still read this fanfiction up to this point!

Yui: We like making our readers feel special.

Kai: Alright, a little recap.

Yui: Edward's gonna kill the girl!

Kai: No, Envy is gonna save him and her at the last moment!

Yui: No, Edwards gonna become a vampire! Glare

Kai: No, Ed and Envy will survive and become a couple! Glare

Ed: Can I say something?

Kai & Yui: NO.

Ed: Takes Cover okay, okay….

Envy: This is getting out of control.

Ulquiorra: ….

Kai: Wait, why is there a Bleach character here?

Yui: Because we just finished the episode with the final battle between Ichigo and Ulquiorra yesterday?

Kai: Oh yeah….

Ulquiorra: ….

Envy: Say something!

Ulquiorra: ….

Kai: Just leave him alone. He's just cranky 'cause he died.

Ulquiorra: ….Cero…..

Yui: OH CRAP RUUUUUNN! Runs

Kai & Envy: runs

Ulquiorra: … Ha….. *grabs computer* I shall type up a fanfiction in which I kill Ichigo Kurosaki….

Kai & Yui: Hey! Runs after Ulquiorra

Envy: Hahaha….Anime and Manga obsessed fangirls and boys….they're a whole other species of human altogether….

CHAPTER START

Edward, driven by hunger, fueled by the virus within, began advancing on the girl. The girl, with tear stained eyes and the look of an animal cornered, knowing that there is no escape. Edward's eyes took on a strange look, one that betrayed his inner beast. The animal inside.

Grabbing her by the shoulder, he forced her down to the ground. Then, gently, almost ritualistically, he pulled down the collar of her dress, exposing the pale, soft skin underneath. His hands ran along her body, feeling its curves and shapes. The girl trembled as his hands ran over her chest, glancing her breasts. Edward's gums burned, feeling the adrenaline rush through him as he lowered his head and put his mouth over her neck.

But, just then, Vincent burst into the room, irritated. "Did you eat that girl yet? Because I'm impatient and I don't like having to wait for you to fucking go through the meaning of your life." He threw his hands in the air. "Honestly! Just get on with it! I mean, you're not going to be able to control your damn self so just do it now before you fucking rip her to shreds! I prefer you drain her blood, not rip her apart. Pain in the ass to clean up. Do you think I have a bunch of fucking maids? Well I don't. I mean-"

He noticed Ed and the girl in the corner. His interruption had caused Edward's trance to break, allowing him to regain his senses. He blinked and shook his head, confused. Vincent facepalmed. He swore, and turned around and slamed the door, muttering "Bad timing. Baaaaaaad timing."

He didn't notice the dark, flittering shadow that flew across the wall.

~Envy~

Breathless, Envy looked up at the tall, imposing castle wedged between two small mountains, dark and intimidating. Where Vincent got these castles, Envy didn't know, but all that mattered was that his little Edo was in there.

Whirling the grapping hook around in the air, Envy scowled. The castle was built of stone, with metal edging around the windows and on the tops. Throwing a hook up there would make a loud clanking noise, and maybe alert that bastard to where he was.

Deciding on a spot to aim at, Envy hurled the hook, whirling in the air.

It smashed through a window. Damn, he had bad aim. Glass showered all over the place, making noise and such. But Envy now had a firm climbing area, and so he began scaling the rope. He window wasn't high up, so he managed to get in and hide behind a tapestry. On second thought, he sliced the hook off and hid it, tying a stone to the rope and hiding again. He heard footsteps as he slipped behind the cloth.

"What the fuck? God damn kids, always chucking shit at my windows. This time there's a rope attached to it. What the hell is that for?" Envy heard Vincent swear. "Now I have to clean this up. God I wish I still had Katrina here to boss around. That Edward dumbass has made her all smushy soft. Where the fuck is that god damn broom?" He stomped off, obviously pissed.

Envy let out a breath, relieved. Then a blade pierced the tapestry and entered his chest.

~Edward~

"Sorry about that." Edward said, laying on his back on the floor.

"I told you it's okay, you couldn't help it." The girl rested her head on his chest, nuzzling his shirt. Edward placed a hand on her back, sighing. "I'm not pissed that I almost ate you, im pissed that I practically sexually assaulted you."

The girl and Ed blushed. "I said it's okay" she murmured into his shirt.

Edward held her closer and sighed again. "I wish Envy would come save us."

~Envy~

"Fuck!"

Pulling himself free of the blade, he regenerated as he burst from the tapestry. Vincent stood there with a thin saber, a look on his face that was divided between annoyance and amusement. "I thought I smelled something familiar. And the bulge in the tapestry is to~tally unsuspicious." He whistled, as if he were impressed. Envy scowled. Pulling the wakizashi from his cloak, the sparks flew as Envy freed the blade from its scabbard. Rushing at supernatural speed at Vincent, he was little more than a blur as he slammed his blade into Vincent's. But Vincent was just as fast, blocking the upward slash of the wakizashi with a twisting block that held the blade behind him across his shoulder. A blitz of slashes and blocks ensued, sparks and clangs emitted from the two as they attempted to harm the other as humanly- er…. Inhumanly possible.

Envy's hand dug into his cloak, searching for the arsonist's paper. Vincent laughed. "Another sword? Please, it won't work. I'm just too fast for y-"

Interuppted by a layer of paper in the face, Envy sheathed the blade making sparks fly igniting the papers. The result was explosive as a wave of heat rushed throughout the hallway. Vincent jerked his head back as his face was literally blown to bits. Bits of burnt, charred flesh. Clutching his face, Envy threw more stacks of the paper at him, causing more and more of the flaming explosions, cremating Vincent's body. As he hurled them, he hurled threats and obscenities as Vincent burned to ashes. Finally, when all the papers were burnt, Vincent was no more.

CHAPTER END

Kai: Phew….i'm glad we put off Edward killing the girl. I was getting worried.

Yui: Yeah. Speaking of which, how did you get our computer back?

Kai: I gave Ulquiorra mom's desktop password.

Ulquiorra: Hunched up over computer screen What are these red and green lines under some of my words?

Kai: peers at computer screen Uhh….those are marks that mean you misspelled words or used bad grammar.

Ulquiorra: ….

Kai: Ah! Don't worry! We have tons! They don't mean anything! They mean the computer is jealous of your awesomeness! DON'T KILL MY MOM'S COMPUTER!

Ulquiorra: …. Very well…. Continues typing

Yui: whispers nice save.

Kai: Mom would kill us if her computer was messed up.

Ed: I just raped a girl….

Yui: No, you ALMOST raped a girl.

Ed: D:

Kai: Dude, chill.

Vincent: I just died. AGAIN.

Envy: fuck YEA.

Kai: Pats Vincent on back You had a good run.

Vincent: ;_;

Yui: awww cheer up dude.

Kai: Yeah, we'll put you in another fanfiction sometime.

Vincent: Reeeeaaallly?

Yui: Yeah.

PLEASE REVIEW! ALL REVIEWS GO TO GETTING VINCENT A SPOT IN ANOTHER FANFICTION! ALSO, PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS FANFICTION! KAI IS GETTING WORRIED THAT NO ONE WILL READ IT.

Kai: If no one reads it, we won't continue. Hmph! turns away

Yui: Heeeyy….dont be a jerk.