Perpetual Existence
Chapter Twelve—Try
The Place in Between
"I thought Alice couldn't see your future." Bella crawls onto my lap once the area has transformed to her specifications.
"She did in some of the previous loops, but they come to her too fast, even for a vampire." I cradle her in my arms, a soft bed beneath us, luxurious silk sheets. They pale in comparison to her skin, something I've discovered since awakening here again. My fingers trace the blue veins under the surface, lingering on tiny freckles.
"Has she ever seen mine?"
I do my best to concentrate on the conversation, my attention on the distracting brush of her fingers in my hair. It takes considerable control not to close my eyes and lose myself to the sensations.
"Only ours, it appears. It takes time for her to receive them for anyone and become second nature. I was the easiest, after Jasper, of course. Rosalie and Emmett took a bit longer; humans would be harder, I believe."
Bella hums, shifting until she straddles my lap. She's quite distracting. "What are we doing when we have to go back?"
Does she expect me to talk when she's close enough for me to count every eyelash? I can feel our breaths mix between us and the warmth of her body against my own. Focusing on talking seems impossible.
I decide to humor her, though, to plan another loop that never goes as planned. "Well, let's see. The meadow is out since…"
"Bees." She pouts and shudders. "No meadow. School?"
"We've tried that, you seem to die much sooner there."
She nods in understanding. "Maybe we should concentrate on desensitizing you to my blood."
I swallow, my mouth watering at the memory of her intoxicating blood. "So soon?"
She sighs and looks up at me; crimson flecks enhance the deep brown of her eyes. Before I get a chance to mention the change, she whispers something too soft for me to hear.
"What was that?" I look around confused, aware of various internal voices, though we are alone. "Did you say something?"
"The walls are crumbling," she whispers, her arms tightening around my neck. "I think that's why Alice saw us clearer last time."
"Walls?" My attention is on the voices behind me, an argument of some kind. A familiar voice, one that sends my senses into overdrive. Wolf.
Bella nods and presses her lips to mine, taking any chance to focus on what's happening. "Try again, please. I'll wait for you in my room."
The place in between darkens around us as I agree to her request.
.
.
.
Monday
The wind picks up as Bella's father pulls out of the driveway, heading to work. I wonder, for the fifth time since the loop started, why I've agreed to this. How have I allowed myself to be talked into starting this so soon?
The chances of succeeding are less than one percent.
"The walls are crumbling."
Does she mean we are running out of time?
I hear Bella move in her room and find her staring at me from her window. She's waiting for me. Giving me a chance to make the decision to follow through with her request. Despite the short time that I've known her, I know she'll forgive me if I can't do it yet.
Can I control the beast? The part of me that still thirsts for her blood, but in its own way, loves her, too. She's the missing piece after a century of incompletion.
"Edward." The whisper of my name travels between us, through glass and air, slicing through my resolve to protect her from myself. She takes a step back, a mix of disappointment and understanding on her beautiful face. Before her foot falls into another step, I'm at her window.
She watches me with a mixture of relief and disbelief. "It can wait."
I shake my head, climbing inside. My eyes roll closed as her mind-numbing scent encompasses me. One would think that after so many loops, her scent would not have the same effect as the first time.
A soft, familiar tune filters through her small CD stereo on her nightstand. Curious, I look at her as she shyly shrugs and fidgets by her bed. "It's not the same as when you play it on the piano, but I do still like it."
"Debussy." I nod and take her hand, lifting it to my lips, then entwining it with mine.
She shakily takes a breath. "I can't help feeling nervous."
"We're the same in that regard, Bella." I lift our connected hands higher, my free arm circles her waist, and I pull her closer. Her hair shifts around her pale shoulders, curls teasing the tops of her breasts. Dressed in a simple, gray tank top and shorts, her skin prickles with goosebumps at my much cooler touch.
After a few moments, her head settles on my chest. Her fragrant hair tickles my chin, teases my nose, and I can't help but kiss her temple. As usual, twin lusts battle for control and it's for the best that we don't provoke the beast.
"Don't move too much."
She nods.
"Don't pull on my hair."
Her fingers squeeze mine. "Okay."
"Try not to make a sound."
She says nothing since we are well aware that it will be futile to ask such a thing. The bite of my teeth has elicited different reactions previously, mostly pain and surprise.
"I imagined this." She blushes but offers me a small smile.
"You've imagined us dancing and me biting you?"
"Yes." Her brow tightens with some confusion. "But not here, in a different place." She shrugs. "It's not important. It was just a dream."
I laugh. "Why would you dream of me? I fail to understand."
She rolls her eyes. "If you could, wouldn't you dream of me?"
"Every waking moment and every lonely night."
"I've known since this all started that there would be two outcomes: I die or become like you. So yes, I've imagined what it'd be like to be changed in a more romantic manner than that first time. Though, I didn't imagine three days of pain."
"The thought to change you the first time never entered my mind."
She sighs. "Because you were a mindless, thoughtless beast."
"That hasn't changed."
She pushes at my chest, causing me to take several steps back in surprise. "Bullshit."
I charge toward her, pinning her to the bed. "Never forget that it's in my nature to be just as you called me. Mindless, thoughtless, a damn beast. Nothing has changed."
She glares. "If that were the case, we'd be in the between by now."
Her words barely register through my overwhelmed senses. Scent and touch are amplified by thousands as her hips undulate under mine. The moment is reminiscent of the loop where I took her life in her bed for the first time.
The first time I reacted to her blood in another way. The memory, the scent of her arousal brings on the lust we've barely explored between us. The time in my car seems so distant, leaving me wanting, needing more.
My lips slant over hers in a brutal kiss that leaves her breathless. She pants unevenly as my mouth continues to explore her shoulders, my fingers snapping the straps of her tank top and bra.
"Try," she commands in a whisper. "Don't drink, just push in the venom. Then you can continue."
I groan and find the patch of skin on her neck where her scent is more potent. My incisors penetrate the layer of delicate tissue. My thoughts, once again, not my own as her taste bursts on my tongue. The slick warmth quenches a different kind of thirst but does little to slake it.
I need more; my lips form a seal, and I suck. And suck. Then the unthinkable happens: something pulls me away from the frenzy. A sound that resembles a roar, forces my lips away from the source of perfect sustenance.
All at once, my other senses make themselves known, mostly centered on one point of my body. A small, warm hand is curled around my cock. Skin to skin. Softness on unrelenting steel.
A triumphant Bella smiles from under a curtain of dark hair.
Fuck me.
AN: Sorry for the cock block! I'm almost finished with the next chapter and it'll be a bit longer, I promise. Crosshairs and The Letter updates are almost done and will be heading to my beta this week. Incognito is seriously pissing me off, I can't get those two to talk to me at all. I made time to write for the next few days, so crossing my fingers that my mojo continues. Thanks to MC for all her help with the chapter and all the hand holding. I need it.