A:N: I am back at college now so chapters will be less frequent, but thank you everyone who is reading and enjoying this fic.
Present Day
"It's not your fault." Sat on the rooftop of with Kara, Lena was heavily sympathetic, "If anything it should be mine."
"Don't say that." Kara said, snapping slightly. She was still blaming Lena, but not as heavily as before. The night was cool and the city below them glowed like a bonfire on Guy Fawkes night. So bright, but the sky felt darker than it should. Kara shifted slightly as she looked down once again, the lights of the city reflected on the glass in her glasses.
"I left her alone while I was fixated on doing forms for L-Corp and catching up on what I'd missed-"
"It was your mother." She then shrugged, "She wanted to see her grandchild while I..." She shook her head to stop the tears from coming. She then took a breath, "She wanted to hurt me...Before it was just hurt you or Alex to get to me and...She knew that baby had Kryptonian DNA, a child that...belonged to me, both by blood and..." She sighed, "If she knows about Kryptonian beliefs then she has done it."
Lena's brow furrowed, "What are you saying Kara?"
"We shouldn't have had a baby." She said with confidence, finally locking eyes with her. Kara's blue eyes appeared light and soft but to this confession Lena's green eyes darkened. She laughed nervously as she commented, "Before we even decided to have the baby we weighed up the risks and you were still fine with it. And what? You're now saying that Alura, your baby- our baby was a mistake?!" She found it hard to keep her cool on the whole situation.
"Lilian is using her as a pawn in her sick game of chess." Kara shrugged, "She is the queen and we..."
"Do not use chess metaphors with me!" Lena hissed, tears now stung her eyes and she stood up, "You are making this sound like it was supposed to happen. We weighed up our options Kara!"
"And now I'm saying that maybe we were wrong. We shouldn't-" Kara stopped herself. She slowly got up and walked over to her wife. Lena stepped away from her, "I don't understand why I'm hurting more than what you are, it's like we've switched roles. You are more Luthor than Danvers."
"I'm saying it as it is."
"You are the one that can't hold your child or go anywhere near her! Maybe I'm grieving for you! Whatever it is, you are messed up!" Lena snapped.
"I've become cold because...I'm so used to losing people, I don't want to get hurt again." Kara admitted.
"Like I said..." Lena began, "We've switched roles."
Kara sighed and crossed her arms, "What else do I do?"
"You? Don't give up, which is what you are doing. I may be many things Kara Zor-El-"
"Don't call me that." Kara said sternly.
"You should have Luthor as your last name because that is who you are becoming and it's not right and you know it isn't. You're the hero Kara. People depend on you."
"Yeah well, I'm sick of it!" Kara snapped, finally losing her temper, "When everything goes good for me, when I am happy something goes wrong! I am tired of it! I just want my wife, my family and more but where your mother stands, I can't get any of those things. We were a mistake Lena, not Alura."
There was then a brief silence. Lena staring coldly at her wife before her. Both women couldn't look each other in the eyes, "...And there it is." Lena said quietly, "I knew it...It was me all along."
"What?" Kara said in disbelief.
"A Luthor and a Super...We were too good to be true weren't we?" Lena walked toward Kara, wanting Kara to look at her. There was no reply from Kara, "Kara..." Kara still ignored her. "Kara, admit it to me. Confirm it." A dark tone suddenly took over and Lena forced Kara to look at her, grabbing her by the chin and for the final time they locked eyes, "TELL ME KARA! WE WERE TO GOOD WEREN'T WE?!" There was a brief silence. Kara swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, "Yeah...we were too good." Lena took a step back, "Are we over?"
"Yeah...we are." Kara nodded slowly.
A gust of wind filled the silence between them. Lena merely nodded with confirmation before leaving Kara to stand alone on the rooftop. Kara turned back around and looked at the city with tears in her eyes. Everything burned inside. She wanted it all to stop. She had no idea what she was doing, but blocking everything out was the best way to stop her from crumbling. If bottling it all up meant protecting herself, Rao help her when she finally releases the pain and anguish.
The next morning Kara walked into the DEO, wearing her black skin suit. Alex knew immediately that this wasn't good. She approached her quickly, "Are you under the influence again?"
"Of all the things to ask, you ask that?" Kara asked grimly, "No Alex, I'm not. I'm suiting how I feel right now. Isn't that what humans do when they are in different moods?"
"What happened?" She asked, crossing her arms.
"I ended Lena and I."
"What? Why?" Alex was puzzled. They were both okay the last time she saw them. What changed between them in the space of eight hours?
"She said I was starting to become a Luthor because I'm shutting off how I really feel and I am distancing myself from feeling pain." She then sat down at a desk and put her feet up, "Alternatively, we switched roles. Maybe it's a good thing." She then shrugged, "I can't hold or be anywhere near my baby, but she can get attached. If it helps, I'm divorcing Lena and giving her full custody of Alura."
Alex froze. It was too much to take in at once.
"There wasn't really any initiation. I told her what's what. I told her to keep Alura. We didn't fight. I mean, it would be hilarious." She smiled to herself, "But it would be a pretty pointless argument considering the circumstances."
"Yeah, you really do sound-" Alex began.
"Like a Luthor?"
"Hurt." Alex said pointedly. She then sat beside her, "So you called everything? You called all the shots and Lena had no say?"
"All in one." Kara said with slight glee.
"I don't understand why you are happy about that."
"It's something British people call, 'Keeping my own Counsel'." Kara said pointedly, "It means, she keeps to herself and I keep to mine so then no one get's hurt."
"But she is hurt Kara and so are you."
"Scorned, not hurt."
"Isn't that- Nevermind." Alex sighed, "Just talk to her."
"There is nothing to talk about." She hissed. Kara stood up and went to the medical bay but remained outside. Her glare increased when she saw Lena sat with their child in her arms. Alex appeared behind her.
"Will you stop following me?" Kara hissed.
"You are both still wearing your wedding bands."
"That doesn't mean anything." Kara said quickly, "I'm surprised she hasn't got lawyers on my back yet."
"Or maybe she still loves you and believes in second chances." Alex said softly.
"We'll see about that." Kara said darkly. Alex did not like her tone, "What are you thinking Kara?"
"If I don't love her, I don't see a use for her anymore."
"Now you're being ridiculous." Alex gasped in disbelief as Kara tilted her head. It disturbed her, "Kara, you leave her alone. She hasn't done anything to you."
"She left our baby alone." She said in a shallow tone, "She left her alone so her mother could get her. I think she knew this would happen so then she would have Alura all to herself."
"Listen to what you are saying Kara!" Alex snapped, "It's not like that and you know it."
Kara ignored her and marched into the medical bay, frankly startling Lena.
"Kara." Alex said sternly, "She has a baby in her arms, you wouldn't dare."
"Don't say things like that Alex. Really don't." Kara warned, "Lena, you are not having everything that belongs to me, I've changed my mind."
"I honest to God don't know what you are on about." Lena gasped. She looked at Kara's wedding band. It glowed green. She knew Kara was practically human and she knew this allowed her to be so close to Alura without screaming in agony.
"We'll see about that." Kara said with a smirk.
Alex slowly grabbed the gun on her belt, only just noticing the glowing wedding band. She quickly hit Kara over the head with it, and watched her fall to the floor.
"She was planning that." Lena said quickly, "Whatever she was going to do. She planned it."
Alex sighed and knelt down, and handcuffed her sister, "She's just hurting...The only way she knows how to hurt is blaming who she things are the persecutors. She uh...She said something..." Alex stood up slowly, "You had a heated argument last night and she said that you told her that she was starting to sound like a Luthor."
"We all say things we regret." Lena admitted.
"No...I'm starting to believe you were right...You have been hurting more than her, whereas she has gone dark and cold...It makes sense...Only I don't know how to knock it out of her."
"Therapy. Really Danvers? She is depressed. In the last two minutes I have figured that out. She is depressed...But the divorce thing...She meant it and...I'm going to stick to her wishes."
"You don't have to."
"I do...I hate seeing her hurt because she is such a nice girl. I fell in love with her and now...She is using her love to try and kill me. Although strictly speaking, because I'm Luthor by blood, it should be me doing that."
Alex merely nodded as she heard Kara groan beneath her.
"I know she is your sister, but...Look after her." Lena said softly, before leaving.