Chapter Twelve: Final
The morning of the tournament did not start with an alarm clock to wake me, but the sound of Ella's moanings from the bathroom.
"I can't do this-I'm so tired-I shouldn't have eaten last night-I feel so sick-I feel too sick-Michi-chan, I can't swim today-I'm gonna pass out-I look so disgusting today-I need to wear makeup, but I can't do that if I swim today-"
Her words were a black hole of depression that sapped the energy and hope for a brighter day. I thought at first that I could talk her out of it. I stood in the doorway of the bathroom as she fixed her hair up, continuing to droll on over things that had no part in the tournament. I did want to squeeze into the room to make myself decent, but I was caught in the wonderment of how Ella gave too much mind to her worries when she was looking forward to something.
Before she could wet her toothbrush, I took her by the shoulders and said, "You are only sick because you are talking yourself into being so. You can address the public without makeup today and to swim for less than a minute in the medley. Now stop putting yourself down, Ella-chan!"
"But, Mi-"
"No. I will not hear any more excuses."
She pouted and turned back to brushing her teeth. I ignored the rest of her complaints and scowls she sent my way while packing my sports bag and dressing for the day. When we met Samantha and Kasumi in the hallway, the doom and despair emanating from our shorter teammates magnetized. They glommed together behind us, trying to outdo who was more miserable than the other in low voices.
Samantha gave a disappointed sigh as we entered the lobby.
"I can't believe those two," she said.
"I tried to talk Ella-chan out of it, but she wouldn't listen," I said.
"That's because she wants you to agree with her. Just ignore their behavior, and they'll snap out of it soon-I hope."
"You hope-?"
Before the door, the boys' team, Gou and Kou, and Ms. Ama greeted us.
"Ready for the big day?" Makoto asked us.
I looked to find that Nanase wasn't with him. Makoto explained that we were to meet Nanase outside, though it wasn't known how far he had gone. With that in mind, the boys' team led us out and down the street. Hazuki attempted to speak to our teammates in the back of the group before I could persuade him to give up the effort. Upon looking back, I found Rei standing behind me. He smiled briefly before saying, "Ah, good morning, Michiko-chan."
"Good morning, Rei-kun. Did you sleep well?"
"Hardly," Hazuki answered for Rei. "He kept tossing and turning all night."
I withheld a sympathetic laugh from Rei's reddened cheeks. "I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe a steady breakfast will help settle our nerves."
"Good thing they offer some at the stadium," Hazuki said. "I'm starving!"
"Good for you," groaned Ella. "Now go be annoying somewhere else."
"Whoa, Ella-chan! You're even more hostile than usual. What's wrong?"
"Like I'm telling you anything."
"Hazuki-kun?" I asked. "Why don't we walk on ahead?"
Ella stomped behind the group while we proceeded to the stadium a mere ten minutes away. All around us were groups of people, tourists, businessmen, and swim teams alike that filled the sidewalks. I was surprised that Ella was still able to sulk behind us and maneuver her small figure through the masses.
"Is Takemono-san alright?" Rei asked.
"I believe her attitude will be short-lived as long as we ignore it," I answered, ushering Hazuki to look away from her.
"Are you guys seriously talking about me right now?" Ella said.
"She'll be back to normal soon."
It wasn't until we found Nanase and about to cross the street to the stadium that Ella was coaxed out of her ill behavior. Ella clung to my sleeve, telling me how sorry she was. But before I could speak, the team surged forward.
Ella called out to me, sprinting with the others, as I adjusted my glasses. They slipped off of the bridge of my nose before I could answer her. I heard them fall onto the asphalt below, but with the blurs of color and people passed, my glasses were near invisible. I knelt down and fretfully felt around for them. A car was due to cross at any second, and my team was somewhere away.
"Here, Michiko-chan."
I looked at the hand that reached out and plucked my glasses off of the ground; holding them out for me to take. When my vision became clear again, I saw Rei at my side.
"Let's get out of the street," he said, gesturing for me to stand.
We hurried to the other end of the street where our teammates waited. Like our chase during the festival, Rei was one step ahead of me. Before the sidewalk, a car's horn blared behind me. I gasped at the sudden noise.
"Michiko-chan!"
Rei's hand found mine and pulled me onto the sidewalk. The cars drove along without a word; like my heart that uttered not one peep in my chest. It seemed frozen by the sound of a passing car but could have been crystallized at Rei's touch. He noticed my silence and apologized. My hand was released, and so was the spell that bound my heart still.
While our group walked up the hill before the tournament's building, Ella came up to me, a grin of sly teasing on her face.
"What's goin' on with the nerd, Mi~chi~chan?" she cooed.
"Please don't tease me like that," I said.
"Aww, man, your cheeks are pink! That's so cute!" Ella laughed aloud.
I wished I was in the mood to laugh with her. Unfortunately, once we passed the threshold of the building, Ella's demeanor worsened. She glanced around at the teams in the lobby, her mumbling making her a spectacle until we found seats in the stadium. I tried to convince her to eat the bread that was offered to competitors, but Hazuki found more success by making conversation. Rei did not join us, as I was disappointed to discover, but I was thankful that Ella at least had Hazuki to help her come around.
"Hey!" Sasabe shouted into a plastic megaphone. "You girls need to pay attention! Like I told the boys, stop worrying and focus on your best!"
Ella snapped into her irritable self at his words. I stood between the two as I said, "Yes, sir! We will!"
After he left, Ella gave a disgruntled groan."He doesn't have to shout at us with that thing! We're gonna swim whether we like it or not."
"That's right!" said someone behind us. "And I'm gonna get it all on tape today!"
Ella and I turned to see Riichi holding a camera up to us. My hands were faster than Ella's from stopping her ferocity.
"Get lost!" she hissed at him.
"Don't be so nervous. It'll be over and done with before you know it."
"Don't lecture me!"
"If you need something to worry about, then you should remember that you weren't expanding your arms properly in practice the other day. Can't be crampin' up today."
"Why, you-"
"Thank you, Riichi-kun for you 'helpful' advice," I said. "Why not address Ama-sensei before we have to take our seats?"
"Will do. I'll be back for you, too, my Monarch Queen!"
Riichi walked away before I could ask where he came up with such a nickname. I looked at Ella for an answer, to which she only replied, "At least your title sounds somewhat cool. Jellyfish Princess is what sent his phone to the bottom of the pool last week."
"Why did-Did you really-?"
"I saw her do it," said Kasumi as she sat on my right. "After he called me Lady Goldfish that day."
"Yeah, I don't like Madam Seal, either," added Samantha, sitting next to Kasumi. "I need to have another talk that boy, soon."
While I did want to question further the inspiration for Riichi's names, the boys interrupted to tell us that the first of the freestyle races were about to start. The crowd followed in our silence, and the swimmers below stood on their appointed diving boards. Among them was Rin, pointed out by Makoto and Hazuki. The red-headed boy bent at the ready to dive. A moment passed, and then the marker sounded.
"He dove late," Makoto said. "Not good."
"It's okay," said Nanase. "He's still got the turn."
Kou and the Samezuka team unwittingly cheered for him. My group and I watched with a cloud of tense quiet as Rin swam. He looked to be doing well, but when the turn came, the other swimmers were far ahead of him. I looked at the boys' team, finding myself just as shocked as they were. The once mild features of Nanase's coiled into awe. The mouths of his friends hung agape.
Rin swam to the finish but placed last. His body shuttered for breath once he was done, and he ripped off his cap. When he moved to climb out of the pool, his arms gave out from under him. There was no clue, no possibility I could fathom that explained how he could suddenly cripple at the challenge of his race. Where was his strength when he needed to exit the arena? Where was his courage? That ardent passion?
From the corner of my eye, I glimpsed a figure bolting out of their seat. Makoto called out to Nanase before taking off after him. The boys followed, and suddenly Samantha was leading the girls' team after them. All of us caught Nanase out of the exit and down the hallway, but instead of coaxing him back to the stadium, the boys pushed on to find Rin. I did not want to search for him. Rin needed privacy to think through his loss. Samantha and Ella were as hesitant as I, but Kasumi acted none the wiser. Her back was to us when she turned the corner behind the boys. Without consult, the three of us chased her and Rin from adjacent hallways and sharp turns.
I had more than one guide to help me through a linoleum and pristine white walls, but I felt just as lost. We listened to Rin's voice, drawing closer and closer. I was far from prepared to face a haunted youth. I could hear the hopelessness in his shouts, the confusion, and anger. It would only worsen should we approach him; as the same could be said for a feral beast cornered by its predators.
Right around the bend, we came face to face with the boy in question. The boys' team stood frozen before us, watching as Rin cursed his past, cursed himself, and kick a garbage canister down the hallway.
From the doorway in front of it appeared Mio. She looked as shocked as the rest of us, as the other Samezuka swimmer who failed to calm his upperclassman, as she spoke with him. Their voices were low, hardly echoing off the walls, yet could not coat the frustration in Rin. He snapped at her, and then slammed the door behind him; on her. Her attempt to chase him proved fruitless when she collapsed to the floor.
"Kasumi-chan," Samantha said.
Kasumi slowly emerged from our group of speechless swimmers and started for Mio. Samantha dared a step after her, but our teammate was already addressing the Samezuka girl.
After a few quiet words, Mio asked, "W-...Why do you care?"
"Because you're my friend," Kasumi said.
"You can't be serious."
Please don't shut her out, I pleaded in my mind. This moment is the "chance" that could help the two of you! Don't repeat the past. Listen to her!
"What do you mean? You are my friend!" insisted Kasumi.
"I-I thought...Why do you feel the need to li-"
"Please hear me out."
The rest of the conversation quieted as Kasumi knelt beside Mio. I tried to listen, to catch a hint of something sincere. Only Samantha stirred among us. While the boys recovered, my team captain watched Kasumi and Mio as though a revelation dawned upon her, a deep-seeded thought that broke through the surface, blossoming into hope from her eyes.
I looked back at Kasumi to see if hope's perfume reached her or Mio. Mio shook her head at my friend with an expression of bewilderment. Whatever Kasumi said after, it dissuaded her incredulity.
And from that, Kasumi and Mio embraced. Like Samantha, a smile slowly broke out from my lips. Tears came to my eyes to which I wiped away with my handkerchief. Ella moved closer to me, drawing Mio's attention to us. I found myself slightly disconcerted by Mio's quizzical brow.
"Sorry, hon', we're just-whew, we're just as touched," said Samantha to Mio.
I nodded. "I knew you two could rekindle your friendship. All it needed was a little nudge."
"Now that the sob-fest is over," said Ella, disguising her tears, "don'tcha think we should all help the boys?"
We turned, finding Nanase sitting against the glass wall. The boys stood before him, Rei being the closest to us. Makoto and Hazuki's worries over the start of the relays hung over us as Nanase lowered his gaze. Rei did not comment. I thought to step beside him, wondering if my words would bring comfort.
But before I could, Rei said to his teammates, "I have something to say to all of you. I was waiting for a more appropriate time to tell you, but Rin and I had a talk last night.
"He told me that back in middle school, the real reason he wanted to put swimming behind him had nothing to do with losing to Haru. He hit a wall training abroad. It shattered his confidence. He couldn't take it anymore, so he quit. But then he came back home; he raced Haru again. His whole perspective changed. That spark was rekindled. He told me that after seeing us at districts, he recaptured that old feeling. Relay appealed to him again. He was determined to swim with Samezuka and gives us the best race we'd ever had."
He stopped as Hazuki spoke up. Then Rei continued, "But that isn't the entire truth. He couldn't care less. It wasn't about the competition, per say. He wanted to swim with his friends again. You're not just his old teammates. You're the reason he swims at all."
"How do you know?" asked Nanase, standing up.
"Well, because," Rei answered, "Honestly, I feel the exact same way. For me, you're it. You're the reason why I'm here. But I know that deep down, it's the same for you, too. That's what swimming free means. Who cares if we win or lose, right? It's about who you swim with."
Nanase and the boys became determined to find Rin. Rei urged them forward, along with Mio and my team. I agreed to take part in the search, but while overhearing Rei talk with his team, I noticed the apprehension, the unsettled exclusion he portrayed the other day. His team wanted to swim with Rin, but he offered to do something that could resurrect his insecurity, his doubts. It hurt me to know that he was going to forfeit something precious to him. But he loved his team...
Time passed inside the stadium, and Rin was nowhere near. No one could find him outside, either. We met back underneath the vane of an outdoor clock. All but Nanase.
"Where could he-?"
Mio and Makoto immediately came upon an idea and led us down more streets. Another ten minutes passed before we stopped at the elementary schoolyard that Nanase visited prior. There, by a sakura tree, we found him pinned underneath Rin. If only Hyousuke were there then to intervene when the time was right. All of us, save for the boys, gasped, ready to speak up in the case that they would fight. Thankfully, Rin rose to his feet and then helped Nanase onto his.
As we all started back to the stadium, I realized that I was wrong to make the assumption of Rin's privacy. While he seemed the sort to counter when cornered, a word from the more level, more perspective friend was required for him to see his err.
Now that he came around, Rin looked livelier. He spoke with Mio whom he carried on his back due to injury with a smile. I saw the blush on Mio's cheeks as she replied, making me wonder if she had ever tried to help Rin the same way that the boys' did. Perhaps not the same, but she had to have known that Rin wasn't far from himself at the tournament. Her blush said enough for that answer. And just as well could have been for something else, something much profound than the rest of us could understand. I looked at Rei at my side as we ran, wondering if somehow...our knowledge of another was alike through this trial.
"They're-they're-" Riichi stuttered.
"Yep," said Samantha. "They're doing that."
"No wonder they didn't tell us," said Ella. "They didn't wanna risk losing their lives to my hands."
"Or mine," said Mio beside Kasumi.
"Are they even allowed to do that?" Kasumi asked.
"No, they're not," seethed Kou.
The Iwatobi team lined up to begin their medley, with Rin alongside them. Their plan to swim with their friend was a means of being disqualified, as I assumed ahead of time, but we girls cheered them on nonetheless. Ms. Ama, Coach Sasabe, and Kou expected Rei to be on the board, and not seated next to us. I was only two seats away from him but felt as though miles were between us. He watched Nanase swim until he made it to first place. I viewed the sight beside Rei all the while I sensed the loneliness in his smile. I withdrew my earlier suspicion that his plan would only hurt him further. I was wrong on that account. Yet I wasn't sure how I could support the team, not when I felt so heartbroken to see Rei like that. He wanted to swim with his friends...he wanted to swim.
Rei, I thought. Would it help if I swam for you?
My team soon after checked in with the administration. We lined up at our board, and I looked out to the crowd in the time awaiting our moment. I thought I could spot the place my club members sat, but instead, my eyes fell upon a group of darkly dressed men, and then a broader figure among them. Recognizing Father, I waved and received a firm nod in return.
In the next section sat Grandmother, Hyousuke, and Shizu less conspicuously. I nodded at Grandmother, and she did so in answer.
Then I looked back to my group and sought out Rei. He seemed to be looking at us as Samantha pencil dove into the water. I urged him in my mind to watch me swim. I was determined to win for him, that the glory could be shared for a swimmer who couldn't compete.
The marker sounded right as I looked at my team captain. She shot over the water with the power of a jet stream. Her arms paddled her across the water so fast that my breath caught in my chest. None of her competitors could match her speed, giving Ella a perfect chance to keep ahead. As soon as Samantha touched the pool wall, Ella dove. She stayed ahead of the girls until one of them gained purchase past the turn.
Taking place on the board, I waited for the second that Ella touched the wall.
And then I dove.
With all of my might, I swam across the crystalline water. It undulated to my touch; seeming to surrender. I did not accept its attempt to sway me, to control me. It whispered sweet nothings as the swimmers at my sides said otherwise with their splashing. The only truth was in the beat of my heart. My heart spoke louder than all else as I greedily kicked and swung my arms around before the turn. And when my energy was spent after, I listened for encouragement. It came with my pulse, with the thrums of my heartbeat.
"Michiko-chan!"
"Michi-chan!
The voices of my family, my friends, Rei all reached me. My arms ached, cried out with pain, but I pushed onward.
The wall came so spontaneously that I didn't notice Kasumi until she splashed in. I climbed out of the pool and watched her practically glide with ease over the water. Her form was the best of hers to date, and her speed incredible. Though she stayed head to head with the two lead swimmers, she gained momentum at the turn. Samantha, Ella, and I stood by the diving board and cheered for her. From afar, our club members' voices matched ours. Kasumi seemed to quicken her pace at the fact until she inched ahead of the front.
Their hands reached out.
And then the marker sounded.
We looked at the board for our placement.
"We did it!" exclaimed Samantha and Ella.
I gave a startled breath.
"We did it, Michi-chan!" Ella said to me.
Samantha helped Kasumi out of the pool and pointed to our score. Kasumi gasped at the sight." We won first place!"
All of us looked at one another and enfolded in a tight circle. My heart thundered as loudly as the crowds did above. The lights were blinding around us, but my team and I laughed and cried all the same. I believed in our strength, in our efforts, and I knew that my team did as well. We saw to it to advance after our stressing debut in the district tournament. And the input of our talent in the pool beside us was just as mighty.
We as a team were connected; we were strong enough to face any odds.
Rei, I thought. I hope you saw us win. I hope you saw this victory I mean to give you.
After we packed our things from our lockers and went outside, our team convened with Sasabe and Ms. Ama who scolded the boys for committing what they did. I was sure that the board of directors that oversaw our tournament weren't appeased, but unfortunately, they revoked the boys' winning title.
The team walked with us as if their warning hadn't happened. Everyone happily conversed down the path to the sidewalks. Everyone but Rei.
I watched him walk with a gap between his team and him. He remained silently listened to their conversations. And I could no longer hold my tongue.
"Rei-kun?" I said.
Rei looked at me as I joined his side. "Yes?"
"May I speak with you for a moment?"
Though he seemed wary of staying with his team, he and I stopped at the side of the road.
"Did you enjoy today?" I asked.
Without looking me in the eye, Rei replied,"Very much, yes. Thank you."
I sighed. "Rei-kun...about earlier..."
He stopped as I continued, "I've...learned a lot today. Well, I will continue to learn while I am with the swim club. But, the best lesson of all is of how important friendship can be, and trust in your teammates. It feels so powerful and so wonderful. I'm so grateful for that."
"That's great," he said.
"Yes...and I'd like to give you credit for this lesson."
Rei blinked in bewilderment. "I-I'm sorry?"
"When the boys swam with Rin-san in the medley, I wanted so hard to be happy for them. But I saw how lonely you were while you watched them. I felt so miserable then...
"And so I...I wanted you to see me swim for you."
Rei adjusted his glasses, and I mine. What first began as a smile faded into a thin line of nervousness. By some unknown force, expressing a thought so transcendent to Rei unnerved me, created a tear in the fabric of my reality. A voice in my head urged me to end the conversation, but I felt it necessary to continue. I wanted to explain myself further, and...I wanted so much for him to know.
"I...I also wanted to say," I continued, "that after my team won, I began to understand your sacrifice for your team."
"Re-Really?"
I nodded. "You're selflessness helped your team reconnect with Rin-san. To care so deeply...takes much strength. And your strength inspires me to be a better friend."
Rei looked at me, trying to keep face as he looked at me in awe.
"You...you say that like you aren't."
"What?"
"It's true that you missed the butterfly races while you helped us look for Rin, no?"
I did. While I felt some regret for disappointing my family for missing the race, I didn't deplore finding Rin with the others. And I was sure that with some determination, I would seize my chance to swim butterfly next year.
"My...choice not to swim is incomparable to the selfless acts you've made since joining the club," he said.
"What...what do you mean by that?"
"When our classmates were doing horrible things to you...and when Takemono-san was away from practice..."
"Please don't say that. I did what was necessary to-"
"-to protect your friends?"
I looked up at him as he proceeded, "What we do for our friends may not seem logical, but we do so in hopes of keeping them happy. Because you can easily put their needs above yours. And not many have the kind of heart that you have,...Michiko-chan."
"Or yours, Rei-kun."
I wiped away the tears from my eyes. "Thank you,...Rei-kun."
He nodded, smiling so brightly that I thought my eyes were blinded by such a sight.
Rei suddenly cleared his throat in unison to fixing his glasses upright. When he looked at me again, I saw his face take on a shade of red that I never saw the likes of.
"M-Michiko-chan," he started. "There's-there's something...that I've been thinking over for a long time now. I...have done some studying on the matter, produced some theories, at first...but none of that has helped."
"Oh? Are you alright?"
"My-my health is not the issue...I'm afraid it is something more to do with my e-emotional state."
I looked at him for an explanation. He fiddled with his glasses again before he replied, "I-I would like to understand this emotion...and I believe that you may be able to help. Michiko-chan, would you-"
"M'lady?" called Hyousuke. "Are you there?"
"I'm here, Hyousuke-san."
My butler appeared around the corner with my Grandmother. I looked to Rei to excuse myself, but somehow he had already left.
I was so delighted to hear my grandmother's praise for my team's success. And even my father approached me afterward to congratulate me. There was much to celebrate, but when I saw Rei, later on, he did not act likewise.
In fact, he had become entirely distant when we returned to school the next day. Whether it was due to our classmates swarming our circle with praise and wishing luck for the girls' team in nationals, I did not know. My attention was pulled toward the regional race in July, only two months away, and Rei to his studies. His occupation for that was what also excused him from talking to me during lunch. I was afraid I had said something wrong to him at the stadium, to which I had no inkling of what precisely, and eventually stopped my efforts.
When our arduous practice was over that day, and our managers ordered us to clean the poolside for an upcoming joint session with Samezuka Academy, I excused myself. By then it was early in the evening, and Grandmother was expecting me at home. And...I wanted to relieve Rei of my presence.
"Michi-chan, wait!"
I stopped at the turn to the entrance. Ella did so, and said in between breaths, "Rei-kun...he needs-to talk to you-"
"I'm afraid I have to be home soon. I'll see you tomorrow."
I waved goodbye to my friend that ran back to the pool. As I left, I couldn't help but think, Surely he wants to keep his distance? Was that just my friend trying to comfort me?
It was by the sakura tree that I stopped to hear someone call my name. I turned, finding Rei running after me.
"Michiko-chan," he said with a quick breath.
"Is everything alright, Rei-kun?"
He nodded. "Yes. I-umm-I wanted to speak with you. Yesterday...we didn't exactly get to finish our conversation."
"Y-Yes, I suppose we didn't."
Rei adjusted his glasses before replying, "What I said before-about a request I had for you-"
"Yes?"
"Well, I did want to express m-myself, at first, but...I believe you would better understand if I wrote it out. And so..."
Rei unpocketed a folded note and handed it to me. As Hyousuke appeared from the entrance, I said to Rei, "Thank you, Rei-kun. I'll make sure to read it as soon as I get home."
He nodded, and then silently left for the pool.
As I sat in the car, I grew quizzical of the note and opened it.
"April's air stirs in willow leaves," it began. "A butterfly floats and balances.
"I'm sure that you are already familiar with Matsuo Basho. I was never one for poetry, but this year has been filled with surprise after surprise. For example, I never thought I would come to like swimming, or compete with the school's swim team. And I never thought I could stumble upon someone like you one random day. But our meeting was a catalyst for all the things after. And I don't regret those at all.
"Why I wrote this letter...was to express myself further from the other day. What I meant to say was something that this poem made simple of. Ever since the day we met, there was an 'air' among the rest that pushed me. And that 'air' I felt the most was the one you created. You helped me understand swimming and the butterfly stroke. You confided in me your deepest secrets and argued with me when you wanted to protect your friends, and...you swam for me. If I might be so bold, I don't think I'll ever stop being amazed by everything that you do, by who you are. I will always be encouraged as I struggle to be as perfect a butterfly swimmer as you.
"But I also struggle to understand this amazement, this...feeling. How can you encourage me without words, or make logic seem impossible? There's something about you that flusters me every time I talk to you. I've tried to come up with a reasonable answer, but none of it makes sense.
"Do you know what this feeling is? Do you feel the same way?"
When I exited the car, Hyousuke commented on my flushed face. Even Grandmother asked if I were feverish at dinner. I told them I was in perfect health, but on the inside, I felt the dense clouds brushing my cheeks and winds screaming in my ear; I was falling, falling, to unknown grounds.
Once I was in my room for the night, I drew out a sheet of paper and wrote in response to Rei's letter:
"This year is not even finished, and we have seen and done many things. To think that we have more time ahead of us is enigmatic. We as a team excelled, and we as friends have come together to form bonds that none can underestimate. As for the two of us...I am honored to be the air that pushes you. And somehow...you are the air that balances me, as well.
"I believe I know what feeling you describe. That evening after the tournament, I felt it so strongly that there was no ignoring it. My hands still shake as I remember expressing my thoughts to you. And it frightens me to think that this feeling can do such damage, and correct it all the same.
I wish my suspicion is nothing more than that because I fear the most that it will scare you away. But please do not be afraid. This fear of the unknown is an opportunity, an obstacle to overcome, to better us as swimmers, as friends, as two individuals. And I hope that that will help motivate us as one.
And so I ask: Do you want to know what this feeling is, and join me in discovering it?"
As the house grew quiet, I snuck down the stairs to my mother's shrine. The garden shoji door was open as I sat in the way of the cooling breeze and lit incense in front of her picture.
"Thank you, Mother," I whispered. "Thank you so much for having me go to public school. Because of your wish, I found the swim club. I met my friends. And I met Rei-kun. Meeting them all,...they've taught me so much. I learned about teamwork, and of friendship. They've never judged me, criticized me, but have inspired and cared about me. They give me courage. And I aspire to do the same for them.
"I believe I know now who I want to be, and who I will strive to become. I want to be a friend, a teammate. I want to be the person who will not back down for the sake of my loved ones. I want to better understand the difference between what is right for me and what I believe is right. I want that brave and caring person to be myself."
I moved to put out the incense when something tickled my skin. With a gasp, I jumped. A butterfly, a grand, lavender monarch of a butterfly sat on my hand. It stayed there until I dared to touch its petal-like wings. Without a farewell, it fluttered out the door.
I speechlessly watched as it disappeared into the garden. And suddenly, a cloud of its brethren erupted from a bed of lilies. A myriad of colors waved over the sapphire sky, all of different sizes and varieties, and at the helm was the very same monarch from before.
The monarch among butterflies continued to inspire me, even though I could never recreate its incredible image over a canvas. But as I smiled, as I waved goodbye, I knew it would never leave me. Not like my grandmother's words would. I would always be a Ryuko. A Ryuko that was graceful, successful, and traditional. But as long as I remembered that monarch, I knew I could be a Ryuko that was original, and yet individual. Both forms would be kept close to my heart while I swam, and as I walked by my friends' side. Because that was who I chose to be.
Who I am.
A/N: Thank you, everyone. For those who have been following from the start to the ones who are just now arriving. Thank you for your support. This story did not come to me easily. When I started editing this chapter, I struggled for a number of days. And I think it was because I was slowly coming to the conclusion of who Michiko Ryuko is, and who I wanted to share with you. Michiko was a girl that lived by tradition, but by no fault of her own, was never prone to being so in the first place. Yet when she met her friends in the swim club, she discovered who it is she was. And that's who I wanted to write this story for. It was for the people in my life like S.B. and H.B. who I had wronged in the past. Both were butterflies in their cocoons at the time, and now I'm sure that they are flying off to the distance, and I hope so much that they are the most stunning monarchs yet. And for S.W., who I always knew was an individual and original, who could balance her self with both her wings.
And the same goes for the rest of the butterflies in my life, and you, readers. This is for the girls who are friends, who have goals and wishes and who want freedom. This is for the grounded girls who don't have wings. Don't hate the others that have ripped off your wings or led you to tear them off. They may be right, but that doesn't mean you can't prove them wrong. Discover your wings, find them, create them. Fly off wherever you can, however you can. Do so in hopes of being the butterfly you wish to be. Know that others are struggling as much as you, in their own way or similarily. Understand when you can help them, or if they need to help themselves. They may befriend you, or they may despise you. But all that matters is that there is a love in you that can inspire and aspire the best in others.
From that, I wish you all the best, and I'll see you all-in the next chapter!