Edited: July 27, 2012
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
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Sirius
Peter
James
Remus
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Who wants to fake our deaths to get out of Potions today? All in favor raise your hand…WHAT! No one? Fine rot in this dungeon alone for all I care, I am blowing this pople stand!
I believe what you're trying to say is 'blow this POPSICLE stand' Sirius… you need to work on your muggle terminology.
Come on Pads, don't get all pouty on us, you know you said it wrong now man up!
I'm a man, Prongs!
Oh really?
THAT'S IT! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL! A DUEL TO PROVE MY MANHOOD!
Marauder rules and obligations?
I wouldn't have it any other way! To bad Peter is sick today, he would totally pick my side!
Remus will you please officially announce our challenge…standard procedure.
No.
WHY NOT!
Because we will ALL get detentions!
Come on Moony! You're looking like less then a man then Padfoot over here!
MOONY! He just offended the manliness that you may or may not have! DO SOMETHING!
Find I'll announce it, but you guys owe me! I won't appreciate having to spend my Saturday night in detention with a bunch of hooligans.
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"Sonorus" Remus whispered putting his wand to his throat. He stood up on his chair and several heads turned.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, BOYS AND GIRLS OF HOGWARTS!" His voice was 10 times louder than usual.
"Mr. Lupin! Sit down!" said Professor Slughorn rather strictly.
"Come on! Let them say what they have to say!" yelled Frank Longbottom, the Marauders' other dorm mate.
Slughorn shook his head and took a seat. Remus assumed he wasn't finished getting mad at them and that he was instead just holding it off till later. He decided to continue anyway.
"MESSRS. MOONY, WORMTAIL, PADFOOT, AND PRONG WOULD LIKE TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL A FULL-FLEDGED MARAUDER DUEL WILL BREAK OUT. THIS IS THE 50th OF ITS KIND"
The students snickered and some gave a round of applause. A lot of them were thinking back to the 49th Marauder Duel. The Marauder Duel wasn't any normal duel. It lasted for days and weeks. One time it lasted three whole months. It was a lot closer to an extreme pranking war rather than a wizard duel.
"THE CHALLANGER IS MR. PADFOOT, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS SIRIUS BLACK" several girls giggled at this and Sirius sent them a wink. He was only thirteen, but he was still a ladies man. "THE CHALLANGEE IS MR. PRONGS," he waved enthusiastically and shot a charming smile at Lily. "OTHERWISE KNOWN AS JAMES POTTER. THE REASON FOR THE DUEL SUBJECTED FROM A QUESTION REGARDING MR. PADFOOT'S MANLINESS"
More snickers occurred and several kids rolled their eyes (including Lily). These duels happened for all kinds of strange reasons. One time it was because Remus spilt his pumpkin juice on Sirius one morning. Most of the class noticed that it was either Sirius or James who started the duels. Remus, as studious as he was, was actually a great challangee and he had actually won quite a few of them. It was the only thing the teachers disliked about him.
"ANY MESS, MISCHEIF, MAGICAL MAYHEM, OR EXTREME MARAUDERNESS THAT INSUES FROM THIS IS YOUR OWN PROBLEM. THE MARAUDERS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY HARM OR INJURY THAT MAY OCCUR DURING THIS DUEL." He had do far said all of this in a monotonous tone that obviously said he had needed to say everything many times before. He continued, "PLEASE ENJOY YOUR DAY AND REMEMBER TO PLACE PROTECTIVE CHARMS AROUND YOURSELF IF YOU ARE CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE AT ANYTIME. THANK YOU!" Remus pointed his wand in the air and produced the sound of a bell. He sat back down and waved his wand around himself to produce a thin shield.
"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Potter, DETENTION. Eight o'clock, my office, tomorrow." Slughorn said sternly.
Before he even finished his sentence Sirius was practically crying because his hair was Slytherin green and James was fuming because his robes were shouting, "Sirius is manly! Sirius is manly! Sirius is manly!" over and over again in a high pitched voice. Each was waving their wands around each other trying to reverse the curse.
Eventually they just took to jinxing each other again. By the time Potions was over Sirius had the nose of a pig, flowery pink robes, and green hair. James had hair that reached his ankles that was a flaming orange (the color of Sirius's favorite Quidditch team, the Chudley Cannons), his robes were still screaming, and ever time he tried to say the word "Evans" it came out as "Prewett" so that every time he tried to ask out Lily, it sounded like he was trying to ask out Alice Prewett. They also both had detention every night for the next 3 weeks.
Remus had a feeling that this Marauder Duel was going to last a lot longer than a few weeks.
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