After Fall

I'm so excited, Vanille, but I'm also nervous.

Today... today is important. Claire invited us - all of us - to go to New Eden to find new clothes for Hope and, I think, to get everyone out of the house. The last three weeks were rough on all of us, though I have a feeling that it was harder for me and Snow. I mean, we hadn't been married very long at all when Claire put Snow on night patrol, knowing that I work in the day teaching the village kids. For two weeks, I only got to see my husband while we were both awake for maybe thirty minutes at a time.

Hope adjusted to his punishment pretty well. It was kind of nice having someone to help me teach the younger children, but the girls seemed especially smitten by Hope. I think I've probably given out fewer demerits in the last three weeks than I had in the previous three months. I'll be sorry when that goes back to normal next week.

Snow is really looking forward to seeing New Eden. As soon as Sazh told him he was allowed to fly again, he started asking around to see if anyone needed a pilot since right now Aschelle is... not really on speaking terms with him. Apparently the merchant's guild in New Eden is looking for someone who can transport goods from the surrounding Gran Pulse villages, and they're willing to pay a lot of gold for a skilled pilot. They want to see Snow before they make it official, but they said they're excited to have a former l'cie for a transporter. I'm just excited to see Gran Pulse's first living city in over five hundred years. Sazh is the only one of us former l'cie who's actually been there, though he says it wasn't much when he was there. I guess it was almost a year ago, when they were still trying to figure out how to get power working. According to him, back then the buildings weren't all that different from the ones we have in New Bodhum - they were simple, one-story and often one-roomed structures, and the market was little more than people sitting on blankets with wares laid out around them. But according to several of the newer villagers, New Eden looks nothing now like it did then.

I guess it makes sense. It is, after all, not only the closest of the villages to Cocoon, but also the capital city of Gran Pulse.

New Eden is nothing like I imagined it would be. I suppose it's because I was imagining it would look like its namesake from Cocoon, but in reality, it's actually a bunch of really tall buildings clustered in small blocks with crowded, narrow streets.

Snow and I are walking hand-in-hand while Claire walks on my other side, her eyes never leaving the back of Hope's head as he's pulled from one window display to another by Yuj and Maqui.

"C'mon, this is the place." Yuj announces before suddenly veering left.

"I don't know..." Hope replies, but Yuj has a firm grip on his wrist and tugs on it insistently.

"Hurry up, Snow!" Maqui shouts back at us, waving enthusiastically before disappearing through the shop's door.

"Kids." Claire scoffs.

As we approach the door, Snow gives me The Look. It's our signal, I suppose, a silent tool of communication and something that is sort of irritating in the moment. He releases his grip on my hand and waves at me and Claire before joining the others in the store. Before Claire can move to follow him, I grab her arm and pull her back.

"We... we need to talk." I say. My heart is hammering in my chest, I'm so nervous. I never dreamt I would ever have this kind of conversation with my sister, but Snow and I've talked about it for days. I can't keep hiding it forever.

"What's wrong?" Claire asks. A familiar light flares in her eyes, and suddenly she's looking me over for some sort of evidence that she can't seem to find. "Has he hurt you? Are you sick?"

"N-no, nothing like that!" I reply. "But... well..."

Claire is looking at me expectantly, her brow creased slightly as her mind goes through all of the horrible scenarios that she's probably imagining I'm about to unfold for her. The longer I stay quiet, the worse it's going to get.

"I... no, we... I mean, Snow and I... are worried about you."

"Worried?" Claire's eyes widen slightly, and she takes a half step back away from me. "Why?"

"Because... you're alone." I can't even look Claire in the eye as I say it. "I know you were making fun of us, for encouraging Yuj... but you're my sister, Claire. I don't like the thought of you spending the rest of your life alone, and you're not even trying to find someone, are you?"

Claire crosses her arms over her chest and blows out a long, steady stream of air from the corner of her mouth - the way she used to do when she was trying to raise me and I did something to exasperate her. She glares through the store window out of the corner of her eye, and I turn to see Yuj thrusting clothes at Hope to try on while Snow and Maqui put on various hats and accessories that make them look really ridiculous. It makes me smile, until my sister punches the brick of the building with her bare fist.

Several of the people walking by stop briefly when they see her violent outburst, but then decide we aren't worth getting involved with and continue on their way.

"That's not your job." Claire says. I open my mouth to argue, but she shakes her head. "No. I'm the big sister here, and it's one thing for me to worry about what you're getting yourself into when you're a minor and my responsibility. But you don't have to worry about my life, Serah. I've lived in several worlds without you in it, and I've survived hundreds of worlds alone. No matter what happens - whether I find someone or not - those are choices that are mine to make, and mine to live with. And in any case, I will be fine."

"That's... such a relief!" I exhale, and hug Claire tightly. I must've caught her off-guard, because it takes a moment for her to put her arms around me, too. "It makes saying this so much easier."

"Saying what?" Claire asks.

"Er, well..." I pull back a bit and bite my lip - a nervous habit from my childhood, I guess. "Snow and I are moving."

Almost instantly, Claire's eyes dart back to the window and she glares at the back of Snow's head with an intensity that probably could start a fire.

"Why do you need to move? There's plenty of room at the house for the four of us, your belongings are already there. Why get a house now when..." Claire pauses, and I think she understands. She turns her angry gaze on me. "Is this about when I gave Snow night patrol? Are you really doing this because I was trying to make a point?"

I feel a little disappointed - I guess she didn't understand after all.

"No, that's not it." I reach out and touch her arm reassuringly, and try to smile as brightly as I can. "It's just... the house is already so crowded for four of us, and it really wouldn't be fair to you or Hope if we stayed."

"You're not bothering us, though, and neither is Snow." Claire replies firmly. Then, as an after thought she mutters, "No more than he usually does, anyway."

I shake my head in frustration, grab Claire by both shoulders and shake her with as much strength as I can muster. "I'm pregnant."

~fin?