I decided when I wrote the story to ignore canon timeline, such as James and Victoria. I read re-writes where the exact same thing happens as in the books, and I thought it shouldn't be like that with my story, since her reactions makes her unable to be in some of the same places, and making her end up in the same places might make it seem forced.

Stuff WILL happen later on, dangerous stuff, but right now a lot of other things needs to happen too. I'm going slow :)

You will find that Bella needs Edward less to be her savior, but more to be her partner and mate. In the books it felt like, to me, that Bella couldn't even walk straight without Edward holding her hand.

The story is pre-written, and each week I polish and prepare the next chapter, and I have a lot! The chapters are usually around 7-13 pages long.

Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! 3

Chapter 12 - Boundaries

I'd had a great time with Alice, who, after the initial traumatizing conversations, had been lots of fun. It was really nice to get to know her, and I found, to my surprise, that she seemed like someone I could easily be friends with. Mostly, she seemed so much herself, if it was impossible not to like.

I'd introduced her to Charlie, who seemed ridiculously pleased that I was making friends, and he really seemed to like Alice, too.

Alice spent most of the day with me, and when she left she winked at me conspicuously, which I didn't understand until I got to my room.

"Oh!" I nearly shrieked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Edward whispered quietly by the window. I listened for signs that Charlie had heard me, but all was silent except from the sports commentary on the TV.

"You're in my room, on the first floor, in the late evening," I emphasized, though still shocked. It was the first time a boy, who I had a crush on, had ever been to my room, though technically Edward wasn't a boy, which was a pretty silly thought to be having, I realized.

Edward looked embarrassed as he tussled his bronze hair. I calmed down, and despite my initial reaction I was glad to see him. My heart was still beating furiously, but now it was due to his presence, rather than surprise. I was sure he must think something was wrong with me, since my heart always beat so fast near him. Or perhaps he knew about my crush.

"Sorry, I… I promised I'd come by, but Alice sent me hunting," he explained hesitantly. I wondered if this kind of behavior was normal for vampires.

"so you broke into my room? That's a little stalker-ish," I snorted, but I was joking to lighten the mood, though Edward didn't seem to notice.

"I just wanted to let you know I was back," Edward admitted. I looked past him curiously and wondered how he'd gotten up here, but then again, from what I'd seen so far I doubted it had ever been a problem for him.

"Don't leave on my account," I told him easily, and gestured for him to take a seat. He closed the window and sat gingerly in the rocking chair in the corner of my room. It seemed absurd to see him like that. In my utterly normal room he resembled something from a fiction novel than anything real. It made everything next to him seem so incredibly plain, even myself. He sent me a radiant smile that made my heart melt.

"So, is breaking into the bedrooms of young defenseless girls a habit of yours?" I winked at him and grinned easily. He seemed more at ease when I teased him, and looking back I understood why, considering how angry I'd been before. He probably expected a full blown assault.

"No, just yours," he teased me back with a humored glint in his eye. "I like to watch you sleep".

I could tell immediately that Edward understood he had made a mistake. For just a brief moment, I felt the world had stopped, and I stared at him frozen.

"What?" I whispered horrified, all the ease from our banter gone. There was something utterly wrong about this picture and I swallowed thickly as I tried to contain the sudden discomfort I felt.

"I- I didn't mean it like that. I mean, not in here. I've only been in here a few times, just to smell and test myself, but you weren't here. I sometimes sit outside and watch you sleep, just to be near you…" Edward fell silent and I could see that his expression indicated that he understood how wrong it sounded. "Are you very angry?" He whispered worriedly. I wasn't flattered that he was watching me when I slept, but I had noted when he said 'just to be near you', which almost let the steam out. Almost.

"Edward," I struggled for words, "I'm not angry… I'm horrified," I finally managed to whisper. I couldn't believe he had watched me sleep. "How many times have you… watched me sleep?"

"A few times. I'm sorry," he whispered forlornly. He looked at me wretchedly.

"Are you? You don't seem to understand. Edward, you're a vampire. Freakishly strong and fast…. I- I can't fight you… I can't fight you off… I'm putting my life on the line and you're basically stalking me. What if I hadn't wanted to be friends? What if I disagree with you? I can't get away from you…" I was rambling now, but I was realizing how vulnerable I really was and it was terrifying. "You cross my boundaries and there's nothing I can do to stop you…" I felt panicked and cornered at the thought.

Edward was with me in seconds, "Please…" he gently brushed my hand, but I pulled back unthinkingly.

"I didn't think of it like that," he said painfully. "I'm so sorry, I won't ever do it again," he promised me and moved back to the chair to give me space. He seemed to curl together in my rocking chair.

"I need to be able to trust you, in parts due to us being friends, but also since my life is on the line. All the physical power lies with you, so I need some form of power. I'm trusting you with my life, and I need to know that that trust isn't misplaced," I told him severely as I paced. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to straighten my mind. I felt like begging; I needed something to hold onto, because now I could clearly see how easy it would be to drown in the mythical world, and I wasn't strong like them. I couldn't fight them off. I needed the illusion of independence; I needed to be able to trust him.

"Yes, you're right. I didn't think," he replied sadly. He looked like he was fighting with himself internally, and I wondered what he was trying to convey. "It's so stupid. I never think when it comes to you," he admitted in frustration. "You should be able to trust me..." He whispered.

For a few seconds a very uncomfortable silence reigned. I grasped for something to say, but I could find nothing.

"I don't ever want to hurt you. I really want your trust," Edward told me sincerely. His eyes stared into mine unblinkingly, making me feel strangely dazed. At the same time, I believed him. He looked wretched at the thought of me hating him.

"Good, because I'd be screwed if you didn't," I told him honestly to break the dazed feeling. Edward winched. "Please don't watch me sleep anymore," I asked of him.

"I promise," Edward told me sincerely and I nodded.

"I talk in my sleep," I knew I was talkative in my sleep and I wondered if he'd heard anything. From his expression I could tell he had.

"I-" he held his tongue, but I rolled my eyes at him. A bit too late to keep secrets now. "I heard you whisper my name," he looked embarrassed, "that's what brought me back, made me decide to tell you everything if you asked. I heard you whisper my name and I just…" he looked hopeless as he sat there in my rocking chair, both forlorn and embarrassed and unable to explain himself. He looked more man than vampire right now.

"So, this is awkward," I decided to acknowledge the awkwardness and Edward sent me a strained smile. "Let's talk about something else…" I wracked my brain trying to find a suitable topic.

"How's your mother? Do you talk to her often?" Edward grasped for information.

"A few times a week. We talk via e-mail, since she's kind of … distracted, and often forgets to charge her phone," I replied. Talking about my mother was easy and the discomfort dissipated.

After two hours we were back to normal and I was beginning to get tired. Edward left, but promised he'd come back tomorrow, unless I minded, which I told him I didn't, as long as he gave me my privacy when I slept and respected my boundaries.

My sleep that night was restless. I dreamed about Edward, though this time the nightmare was of him chasing me, toying with me and humiliating me. I was unable to get away from him.

When I awoke I remembered the dream, and knew it was a result of my boundaries having been so thoroughly crossed yesterday. In reality, I was pretty sure Edward wouldn't hurt me, but I understood now that I didn't actually trust him. I hoped he would earn that trust quickly, and that he would keep it.

Monday started with Charlie peeking his head into my room, telling me that 2 teachers were out, leaving me with only gym today. I told him I'd stay home and he nodded in accept, probably thinking it was safest anyway. I wondered why Edward or Alice hadn't mentioned this yesterday, but then again, my conversation with both of them had been very intense, so I understood if both of them had been side-tracked.

Edward arrived after Charlie had already left for work, which suited me nicely.

"Sorry I didn't mention you could sleep in today…" Edward apologized as the first thing. I waved away his apology.

"So, what are we doing today, Spiderman?" I wondered casually.

"Superhero?" Edward said with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't flatter yourself. You climb impossible places and are not necessarily welcome," I stuck out my tongue at him, which made him grin. The awkwardness from yesterday was behind us.

"Ahhh," Edward said understandingly. "I really do promise I won't ever do something like that again. And if I do something regarding you I will tell you beforehand," Edward swore, "I seem to get a little unstable around you," he admitted.

In a way, it was flattering knowing that I made him unstable, ignoring the whole stalker-part of course. He made me unstable as well.

"You and me both," I told him, "you know, I was never violent until I met you," I told him and he rewarded me with a laugh.

"Must be my winning personality," he replied jokingly. We settled into the couch in the living room. "But the weather will be better later," Edward told me.

"Talking about the weather?" I said incredulously. Of all the weird things we could talk about.

Laughing, Edward said, "I'd like to show you something. Remember I said the sun doesn't burn us?" He asked me. I nodded eagerly, wondering what happened. Whatever it was it would explain why they weren't at school on sunny days.

"How exciting," I told him interestedly.

"I thought we could go to a special place of mine. It's private and I can show you," Edward said almost shyly. I was touched that he would share something private with me, and I nodded eagerly, which obviously pleased him.

We lounged around the house, reading Harry Potter, until noon, where we took Edward's Volvo to the outskirts of town, where there was a trail, apparently.

"Must be your vampire eyes, because I don't see anything," I told him, trying to locate the trail. I guess that there were a few less things on the ground where we walked, but calling it a trail seemed a bit farfetched.

"It's less clustered here," he acknowledged my mental assumption. I tripped and was about to crash to the ground, but Edward reached me easily in time. My heart skipped a beat and I flushed.

Brushing off the embarrassment, I said, "so, I'm clumsy normally and in here I'm likely to kill myself," I warned him. He laughed again, this time louder and much more free. Despite being a never-aging being, I swore Edward looked almost younger, or perhaps just more carefree. It was really nice to see.

"Don't worry, I'm here to catch you," he promised me while staring intensely into my eyes. Gulp, I thought to myself.

"How long does it take you to get there normally?" I asked, trying to redirect the conversation and break our gazes. It worked, and I felt slightly lightheaded. I wondered if his ability to bind me with his eyes was a vampire thing, or just him. I hadn't stared at Alice or Carlisle like this.

"A few minutes," Edward revealed. I stared at him. I knew he could run fast. "If you like I can carry you," he grinned at me.

Rolling my eyes, I replied, "I think I'll take my chances on walking," I said, embarrassed by the notion of being carried.

"You could weigh a ton and I probably wouldn't notice," Edward said temptingly.

"Because of your massive biceps," I poked his arms in fun - they were hard as rock. "How far if we walk?"

"With you? I'd say an hour," Edward considered with a laugh. I rolled my eyes and made my decision.

"Very well, giddy up," I replied and prepared myself. Edward held a secure grip on me. "Just don't hit any trees," I begged him. I could feel him laughing.

"You're so absurd," Edward announced, "and I want you to understand what I love about this, so we'll go slow, for now," he told me. It made me feel really good knowing that he was taking it slow to ensure I was with him all the way.

Of course, his version of slow was my version of pretty damn fast. We were running perhaps a bit slower than my car, and I could easily see our surroundings. Being in a forest, however, made the experience terrifying. He flashed between trees, and I didn't get how he could even notice them so fast.

I think he could tell I wasn't entirely OK, so he slowed down a bit more. By the time he stopped, I was feeling somewhat sick.

"I don't get how you don't hit the trees," I admitted as way of explanation.

"Our reaction time is zero. By the time you realize there's a tree, I've seen it long before and will be able to prepare accordingly. Or rather, have already prepared accordingly," Edward explained. I nodded feeling only slightly jealous.

Briefly I wondered if I could challenge that somehow.

I managed to get off Edward, though not so ladylike. Ahead, I could tell there was a clearing, and the discomfort I'd felt was replaced with eagerness.

"We're here?" I asked, stepping past Edward. I saw him nod, and follow me to the outskirts of a meadow. It looked so beautiful in the later summer. It was a bit sad that the weather wasn't always sunny, as a place such a this obviously deserved the light.

As that thought struck me the light shone through the clouds, and the meadow lit up beautifully, making me gasp. Without thinking I stepped into the light, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face. The meadow looked like a fairytale, or from a Disney movie: untamed, wild, and absolutely beautiful.

A sparkle caught my eyes and I turned slightly to see what Edward meant: he lit up like a small star, sparkling in all directions.

Were I not so shocked at the sight I might've laughed at the craziness.

"You sparkle," I observed, unable to tear my eyes away from the sparkling skin. "You're like a star," I said.

"Really? Most think we resemble diamonds," Edward admitted. I stared at him, but I understood what he meant.

"I'll have to say diamond makes it seem less glamorous," I told him. It seemed girly, and Edward was not girly at all, even with sparkling skin. "But I suppose it's because you reflect the sunlight, rather than emit it yourself," I finally said.

"Hmm... diamond is just the wrong words," I continued observing him and he stood very still. I wondered if it would be OK to touch him.

"Can I?" I lifted my hands and he nodded. He stared at my hands with such intensity that I wanted to stop, but I slowly continued until I reached his skin on his arm. It was hard, like I knew it would be. The sparkles hadn't changed that.

His skin was also cold and smooth, and I could feel the electricity running between us. I wondered what it was. I had touched Alice yesterday and there had been no current.

I felt a little wobbly on my feet, so I pulled Edward down with me. The ground was hard and cold, but not wet, luckily. He sat transfixed as I touched his hands, tracing the lines over and over.

"Let me know if it's too much," I asked of him. I wasn't sure if it was from being touched by a human or my blood, but I could tell he looked strained.

"Yes," he replied with a very rough voice. I continued in obvious and predictable patterns, hoping that I wouldn't startle him. He closed his eyes eventually and looked so comfortable and at ease.

I contemplated his skin and my own reaction to it and I realized the nature of it. His skin somehow had a lure to it, like the anglerfish that lives in the deep sea and uses a lure of light to ensnare its prey. I felt drawn to the sparkling Edward, and I was sure that any human seeing him would approach him, rather than flee. Funny, the more innocent he looked, the more dangerous he was.

As I ran my fingers over his skin I felt the current follow. "Can you feel it?" I whispered quietly. He looked at me uncertain and I elaborated, "the electricity," my fingers caressed his hands and he breathed out deeply.

"You feel it too?" He whispered, almost surprised. His eyes bore into mine. I nodded, just to break the spell he put me under when he looked at me like this. It was so intense.

To break the ice, I cheekily said, "so, do you sparkle everywhere?" His eyes snapped open and he laughed loudly. I followed suit. It felt so easy to joke with him, and seeing him laugh made me want to always make him laugh.

Our gazes locked and then with a wink he said "yes." He grasped my hand, obviously signaling that it was his turn to explore my hands. I stared at him dumbfounded and then burst into giggles.

"So, tell me more about yourself," Insisted as our laughter died down.

"I think it's your turn," Edward smiled crookedly at me and my stomach knotted in excitement.

"It's not that interesting," I said, "Renee married Phil, and now they're looking for a permanent job for him," I replied informative. "she's a kindergarten teacher, which suits her well, since she's very young at heart," I added. "Charlie is the complete opposite. He's stable and serious," I considered my dad, "he and I are very similar," I said.

"What about your family?" I wondered and Edward rolled his eyes at my poor attempt to move on.

"That was very little," Edward laughed at me, "how did she and Phil meet? When did Charlie and her get divorced? Did you ever visit your father? And when is YOUR birthday?" Edward launched his questions at me and I laughed lightly at his enthusiasm for getting to know such boring details.

"The last is easiest: my birthday is September 13th, so you just missed it," Edward looked chagrined at the thought of missing my birthday, but I had never been one for celebration, so celebrating with Charlie had been perfect, as he'd handed me two presents without a fuss.

I continued quickly. "My parents they got divorced when I was very little, around 1, I think. Renee has always been flighty; she loves adventures and she's very spontaneous. When she met Charlie it was love at first sight, but slowly the days became monotone for her. Getting a child was exciting, but it was hard for her to stay in Forks, because there's so little to do. She hated the rain and the cold. Charlie had to stay because he had just become a cop and his mother, his only living parent, was sick…" I considered my words.

"It makes Renee sound really awful," I admitted uncomfortably. "I love her a lot, despite everything," I quickly added. "She dated very rarely, and I never met them. It was only when I was older that I even realized she had dated at all. She always made sure I was her priority," I told Edward. "When she met Phil it was unavoidable," I laughed a little at the memory.

"How come?" Edward wondered eagerly.

"I saw she was in love before she realized it herself, I think. She adored him; the way she looked at him… He was everything she wanted in a man. His life was exciting; the baseball-thing allowed him to move often. He was young and adventurous," I said.

Adding, I said, "I always felt awkward with Charlie, because I only visited a few weeks each summer. We'd talk throughout the year, but conversation was always stifling, because we're both very private and shy…. Coming here was the best decision I ever made," I suddenly added. I felt the truth of my words resonate within me. "I love Charlie a lot and I am beyond grateful for having gotten the chance to know him better," I smirked at Edward, "all thanks to you," I winked at him and he ducked his head in embarrassment.

For a few seconds I let myself be swept away in the memories

Eventually I asked, "do you remember your human family?"

Edward told about what he remembered. He talked about his father and his mother, who had both died just before he had been turned. He talked about the dreams he had had as a human, about joining that war and proving himself.

"Hmm… Carlisle said that the likes and dislikes you have when you're changed are still present as a vampire… How do you feel the need to join the military as a human affected you as a vampire?" I wondered curiously.

"Hmm…" Edward said as he considered things. "I think, in light of our conversation last time, I would say my need to do the right thing stayed strong after my transformation," Edward admitted, "when I… went off the wagon, I killed people who I thought deserved it. When I was human I wanted to go to war, not just for glory, but to protect the innocent people who didn't deserve be murdered. I was very idealistic, which created quite a few tense moments in the household," Edward explained. I opened my mouth in awe as it seemed like a very noble thing to do.

"I didn't consider that," I whispered quietly, almost sad. Edward looked at me confused and I elaborated, "I didn't think eating humans, despite their transgressions, were good. You took them off the streets, however. Sure, I don't support the death sentence, but I can't help but feel like you did the right thing taking them off the streets. So many innocent people were spared… you have the ability to stop them, after all. You can hear their minds. Right now, people are being murdered and raped, and no one can stop up until it's too late…"

"Humanity is a flock-animal, so to speak. When someone breaks the rules we have a natural inclination to want them punished," Edward said. "I've come to think that being humane, however frustrating that might be, is best, because once we lose that humanity we lose sight of ourselves. Imagine a society that gives no second chances, that allows no room for error…" I nodded in understanding.

"But still, to be able to hunt down the man that hurt you or someone else must be really… satisfying," I finally said.

"No one said we had to drink the criminals or kill them," Edward pointed out, "I could've just left them with the police. Of course, that would mean I would have to gather evidence..." For a while we sat pondering our own things. I wondered about the vigilante aspect and about doing what is right, when going above the law is so easy.

"Am I selfish for not sending you out in the streets to protect people while wearing a cape?" I wondered. Edward laughed lightly.

"Only if I am selfish for wanting to stay here," he replied and I blushed and my heart stuttered.

Our heavy conversation lightened, and I asked him more about our first interactions.

He told me about his reaction to me, about trying to become desensitized to my scent by familiarity, he told me about his point of view last semester. I persuaded him to tell me about his life, from the start. When he mentioned a country I wanted him to go into detail about the country and what he learned, about the different time periods and all that he could.

Of course, I might only have my own life-time with Edward, perhaps even less than that, which was really depressing.

I forced myself to engage more in the conversation, ask more questions. Edward loved to tell me about his life and I found I absolutely adored listening to Edward's voice. I couldn't remember the details of what he spoke, but listening to him was soothing. Being near him was soothing.

I hope you liked the chapter. Let me know if you have any questions or anything you want adressed in the next chapter's A/N

Like I've mentioned before: this is a slow moving story, but it's PRE-WRITTEN, which means that there will be no hiatus or anything like that. I'll be updating once a week :)

As always, please leave a review :)