Now Begins the Diary of Lily Evans

Saturday- 5:02 pm

Yeah, Jack is SO TOTALLY into that Slytherin Girl. And that's cool with me. I mean, I have Dave now...although he's not as cute as Jack...or James...or Sirius...or even Remus for that matter. But he's still cute. And that's what counts...well...aside from his great personality.

Oh yeah. And Jen is SO into whatshisface... Dreamy eyes... Pierre Delacroix...if she knew that I was writing his 'sacred name' in my diary she'd go crazy on me.

Alright. I was talking to Jen about this...and she didn't help AT ALL. I like Dave, and Jack and James right? (I told her James didn't count because I'm in LOVE with him and she said that counts as liking but whatever)

I decided I need to mesh this out on paper...because it gets mussed up in my mind...

Jack- the nicest Slytherin ever. Was into me...am into him. The best eyes ever (besides James sighs) is still a nice person, even if he did blow me off for some Slytherin girl...although I must say that I was pretty busy flirting with anything male that moved this week. Great personality. Hot. Very Hot.

Dave- we are really good friends to begin with, is into me...am into him. Pretty eyes (not the best) really nice, great personality. Spent all night talking to him one night. We can talk about anything... kinda cute...not the cutest

James- barely acknowledges me. Was never into me...am in LOVE with him. Dates one of my best friends. Has the best eyes I've ever seen in my life sighs. Is nice when not pulling pranks on me. Great personality... when around girlfriend. The Hottest thing to ever walk this planet. Is in Gryffindor.

Alright. My Pro's and Con's list... maybe that will help sort a few things out for my mussed up mind right now.

Ok. Whenever I'm around James, I feel like I'm always trying to impress him, like I'm always trying to be perfect and funny and female-ish so that he'll notice me. And he never does but that's a minor detail.

Whenever I'm around Jack I feel like I'm worried that I'll mess up, but not really caring if I do because we'll end up laughing it off and talking about something else that may be something totally random and off the subject.

Whenever I'm around Dave I feel like I'm hanging out with my best friend (because he is practically) I act goofy, and it's ok. But I also feel like telling him secrets and how I'm feeling about all this and I know I can't because that will just tear him up I know it and I'm writing in run on sentences but I really don't know what to do so I'm just kind of pouring it all out onto paper and I'm so confused about how I'm feeling right now and I don't think that I really like Dave.

Ok...I think that's about right. Yeah, sure he's a good friend...and Jen says I'm in love with him and all, but come on, I think it will just stay friends between us for now.

Ok...I kind of still like Jack because he was nice to me when I needed someone, but his behavior this week has been absolutely atrocious. Although I fully deserve it. I'll continue sorting him out, but for now, we're just friends.

Ok...This is the only person that I know for sure how I feel about him. I love him. I don't just love him... I'm IN love with him. Quite a different thing. I don't know why I am, but I am. And I'd like to keep it that way. I'm hoping that things will shake themselves out, and me and James will end up together, although I know it's wishful thinking.

I know what I'll do. To help me along a bit, I'm going to go have a talk with Jack and see how he feels about Miss Slytherin. I think I saw him in the Work Room...an hour or two ago...anyway, I'll see if he's still there. Write you later...maybe by then things will have gotten a lot better.

-Lily

Saturday- 6:45 pm

Things have definitely NOT gotten a lot better. Jack doesn't like Miss Slytherin. Ok...here is what our conversation went like (somewhat) from what I can remember.

Ok...I had found him in the work room, just finishing up homework for the night. This was at...6 o'clock thereabouts... anyway. I went up to him, said hi, and we were talking, and then we slipped to the topic of crushes.

"Yeah, I'm all messed up right now with my crushes...I mean, have you ever liked more than one person, and you can't figure out which you like more, which deserve to be liked, or if you ever want to STOP liking them? Yeah, that's what's up with my love life right now..." I sighed right here...you know, one of those I'm-majorly-in-need-of-a-cute-nice-boy-to-come-and-hug-me-right-now-preferably-the-one-sitting-right-next-to-me kind of sighs. He didn't pick up the hint. So I plowed on, "And what about you and that girl?"

"What girl?"

"You know! That girl in your house, that you've been chatting up a storm with! She's not that bad looking huh?"

"Yeah, she's pretty cute. But I don't like her if that's what your talking about."

"Oh REALLY?" I gave him the one eyebrow sarcastic I-don't-believe-you look right here.

"Yes REALLY!" He gave me the I've-been-telling-everyone-that-for-the-past-month-and-everyones-given-me-that-look-and-why-doesn't-anyone-believe-me look.

"Well I just thought because you've been spending a lot of time with her, talking, laughing, and I saw you hug her once!"

"Ok...here's why I hugged her. She and her boyfriend had just fought. She wanted a hug and she knew she couldn't get it from her boyfriend, so she asked me for one, and I gave it to her. That's all it was. It was as if Dave-" here I sucked in my breath and he noticed but ignored it for the time being, "as if Dave had just gotten in a fight with his girlfriend, and asked Jen for a hug."

OK, Why did he say JEN and not LILY? I'll TELL you why! Me being the smart one that I am, says 'Why Jen and not me?' and this is the resulting conversation.

"Why Jen and not you? I can see the chemistry boiling between you and Dave, Lily. I'm not stupid."

"But you only see us at breakfast, lunch, dinner, potions, history of magic, care of magical creatures, charms, and most of the rest of my classes..." I trailed off stupidly.

"Yeah, only in most of your classes and you guys are like this!" He held up two fingers and stuck them together...I could tell he was angry, and the teacher that was supervising gave me a glare that would melt a mirror.

"Hey, lets get out of here, go for a walk along the lake..." I said ('cause I'm a genius like that when I should have ended the conversation at that. But I didn't, being the genius that I am)

"Yeah, sure."

And we had gathered up our stuff, and agreed to meet at 7:15 down by the lake...so I have to go now, and finish up our conversation...

-Lily

Lily Evans ran out of the common room, and to the Great Hall in less than 4 minutes. She tore out of the doors, and onto the lawn, where she slammed into Jack, throwing both of them on the ground.

"I've made a fool out of myself again haven't I?"

"Yes, but don't worry, we'll just pretend it never happened for now, and we'll laugh about it later. Cummon." Jake picked himself up, and reached out his hand for Lily to help herself up with.

"Why thank you!" she grasped his hand, and helped herself up. They began walking along the edge of the lake.

"So now, what did you want to talk to me about that it couldn't wait until tonight when I'd sneak into your dormitory and wake you up and we'd talk in you common room by the light of the fire, and be told on by the house elves when they come to clean up?"

"Well...It's about who you like...you know two of the people that I like...but you don't know the third. You tell me who you like...and I'll tell you who I like."

"It's not as simple as that Lily..." Jack sighed and kicked a rock into the lake.

"Why not?"

"I might make a fool of myself. I know you'll go running off to the person and tell her that I like her and if she doesn't like me back, then I don't know what I'll do..."

"I won't go running off to her, and even if I did, I'm SURE she'll like you back!"

"No you're not."

"Ok, so I'm not. But if you don't like Miss Slytherin, what's her name by the way?"

"Narcissa."

"Well, if you don't like Narcissa, and I'm going to running off and telling the girl that you DO like, than this said crush of yours is in Gryffindor correct?

"Correct."

"Ok...more hints."

"No. You'll figure it out."

"Umm, Hello! Do you have fluff for brains? That's what I'm TRYING to do since you won't TELL me!"

Jack erupted into laughter, "Fluff in my brains! Hahahahahaha! Yes I know that's what your trying to do. Again. I'm not stupid."

"I never said you were!"

"Ok..."

"Ok!"

They walked in silence for a bit.

"Lily, who is it that you like?"

"Nothing doing till you tell me yours."

"Aww common Lily!"

By then they had made a half circle around the lake, and Lily plopped herself down under a tree. "Nope. Not until you tell me yours."

"You have to promise not to tell her till I tell you ok?"

"Alright."

Jack leaned up against the tree and turned his eyes skyward. He stood like that for a second or two, and then looked down at Lily. "She's smart, funny, talented, and in the house of Gryffindor."

"Ok...now tell me who she is!" Lily was bouncing with excitement. She couldn't believe she was about to get results from Jake.

"You know her very very very well..."

"Oh my goodness! It's Jen isn't it?"

"No."

"But it HAS to be Jen! Or Katie!"

"You don't know either of them well enough for them to be it."

"Well then who-?" Lily broke off. "It's me isn't it."

Jack nodded and looked down at the ground, not trusting himself to say something and have it not come out shaky.

"And all this time I thought you-" Lily broke off and looked at the ground too. "Alright...fair is fair." She got up and leaned next to Jack on the tree.

"I told you now you have to tell me. And please don't let it get weird between us now that like..well...you know."

"I won't."

"So?" Jack asked, not sure if he wanted to know, for if it wasn't him, he knew he would be seriously hurt.

"Well, a week or so ago, I met this boy. He was handsome, modest, and funny. He had a great personality, and I liked him from that point on. We could and still can talk about anything, just as friends, and now I know he likes me back. Jack, it's you."

Jack's eyes shot up to look at Lily, "What?"

"You're the third person that I like...so now can you help me kind of sort out how I'm feeling right now?"

"Yeah, sure. Even if it's not favoring me, it's still okay because I know that at one point, you did like me. And that's enough for me." He grinned.

Lily smiled back. She looked around the quiet Hogwarts grounds, and glanced down at her watch.

"Oh my gosh! It's almost 8 o'clock! We have to be in our dormitories!" She bolted from the tree and hollered back at Jack, "I'll meet you in the work room tomorrow! 5-ish!"

Saturday- 8:15 pm

Wow...this has been an eventful day. So Jack likes me too. Isn't that great. He was supposed to say that he didn't like me, so I'd stop liking him, but no. No it couldn't work out that way. Anyway. I'm tired. Let's hope I don't dream about him...or anyone else for that matter.

-Lily