At last, they were leaving. She had spent the night alone, packing and saying goodbye to her little cottage. One last wilding in the woods and she was ready. Walking up to the Lodge, Naya did her best to not feel sad. Why should she? A whole new life was ahead of her. New friends, new adventures. Thorin!
The dwarves were gathered by the ponies. Bofur greeted her warmly, but the rest mostly ignored her. Even Thorin didn't seem to notice her. She was going to have to work to get to know everyone better. Aliana, her pony, was there waiting for her. Yet another goodbye she would have to make later. She sighed deeply. Could this get any harder?
After a few minutes, they all mounted up and started out. Naya hung back so she would be at the end and out of everyone's way. She ended up riding next to Bilbo. What was it about him that always bothered her? He was a perfect gentleman, always. Thorin and Gandalf led the party. They seemed to be deep in conversation. Had Gandalf told them he was leaving? Apparently he had warned them at the Carrock that he would not be with them much longer. They were still hoping to change his mind.
As the day wore on Naya tried to ride with as many dwarves as possible. She had divided them into three camps: those she knew liked her, those who actively disliked her and those who had not made up their minds. Bofur, Fili, Kili, and Bilbo were in the first group. Balin, Bombur, Bifur, Ori, Dori and Oin in the third. Dwalin, Gloin and Nori were the ones whose minds she needed to work on.
Ori was just too shy. Any time she talked to him, he blushed as red as a cherry. She could probably put him in the first group, but until her could talk to her, she left him undecided. Neither Bombur, Bifur nor Dori talked much anyway. They seemed to be content just be along for the ride. Balin was a puzzle. After their confrontation, he seemed more positive about her, but she was not sure. Better to leave him undecided for now.
She had talked healing with Oin and thought someday he could like her. A bit of professional jealousy perhaps. He was a healer also. Certainly not on her level, but he knew far more about dwarves than she. Why Gloin didn't care for her was a mystery. She had not exchanged two words with him, yet on occasion she caught him glaring at her. Dwalin was the same. He was the obvious warrior of the group. Maybe he didn't like the fact that she was female? Considered her weak? Questions to answer.
She spent most of the morning with Bilbo. He really was sweet. She loved his stories of the Shire. Someday, she told him she would visit. Fili and Kili adopted her in the afternoon. The fact that Thorin was still talking with Gandalf and ignoring her was eased by the stories they told about their uncle. She definitely learned 'one new thing' about Thorin today! Later, Bofur amused her with his songs and jokes. Another one in the 'likes Naya' category.
The next day was much the same, although she did at least try to talk to Dwalin. She slowly worked her way up the column until Aliana was next to his pony. "Ali wanted to ride next to Muffy for awhile," she said with a smile. He grunted, but didn't say anything. She continued to make rather aimless comments for a few minutes without receiving a response. Finally she said, "You don't like me much, do you?" Somewhat to her surprise, he was very blunt, "No I do not. You are not a dwarf, you are a female and you are a distraction."
"All true. Is there nothing to like about me?"
He looked over at her for the first time. "I will credit that you are a good healer and you did save Thorin. Other than that, you seem to be a bit of a baby."
"Ouch. But given what you have seen of me, not an unfair assessment. I hope to prove to you that I am more valuable than you think. Do you ever think you could like me?"
"I do not like many folk. Respect is earned. I may come to respect you someday."
"Fair enough. I appreciate your honesty," she told him.
She slowly let Aliana drop back without saying anything else. Dwalin was still firmly in the dislike group but with hope. Aliana sidled up to Tuffy, Gloin's pony. "Good day, Tuffy, and how are you and Gloin today?" Tuffy grunted a greeting at Ali which was more than Naya got from Gloin. He just glared. The silence between them grew and thickened. This was a tough nut to crack! "So, Gloin, I will ask you the same question I asked Dwalin. What exactly makes you dislike me so?"
"I find your relationship with Thorin to be an abomination. He is a dwarf of the line of Durin, the next King Under the Mountain. And YOU are a skin changer. A mutant. Even allowing you to touch him once is wrong, and yet I have to see him with you constantly. Why you are with us is beyond me. You should not have come!" Gloin could not stop his words. Not that he wanted to.
She just stared at him. Naya had had no idea he felt this much animosity towards her. "I am sorry you feel that way," was all she could manage to say. Her teeth were clenched so tightly to contain her anger that no words would have come out if she could have thought of any to say. She pulled roughly on Aliana's reins and returned to the back of the column. There would be no winning over of Gloin any time soon, and with that disappointing thought, she gave up on dwarves for the rest of the day.
...
Finally, on the third day, the walls of Mirkwood loomed on the horizon. Naya again began to have second thoughts. Once they entered that dark forest, there would be no turning back. Thorin was still mostly ignoring her for some reason, and she was losing confidence. If not for Bofur, Bilbo, Fili and Kili, she would have turned tail long ago. They made her laugh, but now the final chance to change her mind neared.
She had approached the rest of the dwarves and her original assessments still stood. Nori was a bit wary of her. She got the feeling he was watching and judging her for later. Fair enough. His brother Dori was kind enough, but a bit aloof. All she could get out of Ori was giggles. She had yet to try Bombur and Bifur.
By lunch time, she was more nervous than ever. She kept looking over her shoulder. Naya knew she was hoping her father would come to say goodbye one last time. Half of her hoped he would, the other dreaded that she wouldn't be able to continue if he did. They were just about to dismount at the edge of Mirkwood, when she heard distant hoof beats behind her. Aliana whinnied, so she knew it was not a threat approaching. She turned and started back up the rise they had just descended. In a moment, she could tell it was not her father but her oldest brother Heth coming up to the group. She met him a hundred yards before the others. She did not need witnesses to a scene with Heth. She never knew how it would end.
"Heth, what are you doing here? Is Poppa coming?" she asked hopefully. Heth reined in his horse. "No, there is trouble up by the Carrock so he sent me to escort the ponies home. He hesitated. "I…I wanted to say goodbye to you Naya."
She could hardly contain her surprise. Heth? Sentimental? "I don't know what to say. Thank you."
"I know I have made your life hard, Valinaya, and I'm sorry. I was always just so jealous. You can do everything and I always thought if I was mean enough, I would be as good as you are. I finally realized that I was never going to equal you let alone be better."
Naya was stunned. All these years of teasing and torment from her brother, and he was apologizing! Now, when she was leaving! "I still don't know what to say. Why now, after all these years?"
"I could not let you go, knowing I might never see you again, without telling you, letting you know how much I really did admire your skills. Hated you for having them, but admired them nonetheless." He had the grace to look ashamed.
"Well, I would like to be able to say I forgive you, but I don't think I can right now. Maybe if you had given me time to digest your words. Someday perhaps, but not today. I do appreciate how hard this was for you. Again, thank you." She knew that sounded stiff, but she had never been comfortable with her family. She couldn't get there in minutes because of one apology.
Heth put out his hand. "I would be glad of your forgiveness someday, but I understand your hesitation. I also wanted to give you this." He handed her a small, tightly wrapped package. "Open it later. It's from all of us. A small token that we hope will help you at some point in your journey."
Naya took the little bag. "Oh, Heth, why have we let things wait until it's too late? I'll probably never make it home again, or at least not for a long time. It would have been nice to have you for a friend all this time instead of a tormenter!"
"With age comes wisdom, Naya. And I am finally old enough to be getting a little. Poppa did want me to tell you again to be careful. He loves you, you know. Better than the rest of us."
Tears began to fill her eyes once again. "I really have to go. We want to make it into Mirkwood before dark. Tell Poppa not to work too hard. You boys are big enough now to let him relax a bit!" She put her hand on his arm. "And you be careful, too. Maybe someday we can get to know one another." With that she turned Ali back to the dwarves.
"Goodbye, Naya, stay safe!"
She waved over her shoulder and shouted "Goodbye, Heth." She couldn't bear to look back one last time.
She reached the dwarves and slid off Aliana. She struggled to contain yet more tears. She really was a big baby, wasn't she? She pretended to be very concerned with Ali's bridle. Thorin at last came up to her. "Who was that?"
"My brother, Heth. He came to escort the ponies back home."
"Are you crying, Naya?"
"No…"
Thorin put his arms around her. "Yes, you are. And you have every reason for tears. I know how hard it has been to say goodbye and leave everything you know. I appreciate your sacrifice. And I'm sorry I have been so distracted with Gandalf. I have ignored you. You didn't get 'one new thing' about me for the last two days!"
She sniffed back her tears. "Actually, I got a lot of new things! I have been hanging out with Fili and Kili and they have been happy to tell me new Thorin tidbits every day!"
He laughed. "You will have to let me know what they are. Some corrections might be in order." He looked serious for a moment. "I want you to put your bedroll by mine tonight. I have missed you, and I think we should start this journey by letting everyone know how much I care about you." And with that, in front of the entire company, Thorin Oakenshield kissed Valinaya Beorning with great enthusiasm.