Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight. All recognizable plot and characters belong to the talented Stephanie Meyer.

This story is rated M. Some scenes will be graphic so please if you are under 18 do not read.

Please review.

Sorry about the wait. I'm on a road trip. I'll post when I pick up a signal but it won't be regular until I get home Labour Day weekend. Hope you enjoy.

It was the worst for Emily. Once she had been sure Sam was ok, they talked about what had happened at their house. Sam had been focused on Leah siding against him. Emily had gotten up, kissed him and then walked out. She was done.

Jake and Holly had just fought, Jake had been angry about things, he didn't want any of them to side with him, he didn't want to be alpha, it was all just because of how Sam acted to me. Holly yelled at him about being selfish, about thinking about himself over the pack and over her but for once someone was going to put her first and that was Holly herself. After saying that, she had simply walked out. Seth had gotten angry with Jenna, blaming us for contention in the pack. She had just smiled at him and said he wouldn't have to worry about her causing any more contention in his life, flipped him the bird and left. Jared hadn't hurt Kim, she hadn't fought with him, he'd run home and pulled her in his arms, comforting her and swearing he hadn't been hurt and then he just assumed she was home and life would be the same. Kim didn't agree.

Paul was the only one who had tried to understand. I loved him more for that. He respected me. Edward never had. My relationship with him had never been real. It was why I needed the one with Paul to be. I was so in love him. Edward was nothing, not compared to Paul. He made me feel peace, confidence, love; he made me feel strong and beautiful. Paul didn't make me feel not good enough but he made me want to be better. He made me want to be everything he needed.

That night us girls talked for hours. I learned more about them and shared more with them than anyone ever before. I had never known anyone, nor had anyone known me the way the five of us knew each other by morning. Over night, they had become my sisters. We ran each other down, pointing out our weaknesses and mistakes; we built each other up, sharing in our strengths and giving our unconditional support and love. By the time the cloudy sky lightened with the gray of dawn I knew I would do anything for these girls, give anything to secure their health and happiness. First thing that meant was helping Emily and that meant talking to Sam.

While my sisters slept, I took Paul's truck and drove out to the reservation. Sam came out as soon as he saw the truck. His expression showed just how surprised he was to see me pulling up to his front door.

"What are you doing here?"

I was surprised his voice held no malice. I was sure he would accuse me of having purposely set out to hurt him and the other wolves. I had after all once stated I would help the imprints leave them. "I came to talk about Em."

"Is she alright?"

"No."

"Will she let me make it better?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Love her."

"I do."

I shook my head, "You love Leah."

"I did, once. Now I love Emily."

"You still love Leah."

He ran his hand through his hair, "Was I supposed to just turn it off? Forget good years? Yes, I loved Leah. She didn't deserve what I did to her but Emily is my world."

"Emily is your imprint. You had to love her. You chose to love Leah."

"No."

We weren't going to get anywhere that way and I didn't want to fight with him. He was Paul's brother and Emily loved him. I needed to try. "Sam." I swallowed. "Why did you make the choice you did? You said my eyes haunted you. Why did you choose to hurt me? Not the alpha decision to protect his pack but you. Why did you decide it was the best thing for me?" Paul had told me it wasn't the same thing and now I had to know. I needed to know Sam, to let go of the resentment to help Emily.

He looked away, but after a moment, he answered, "He would have hurt you. Jake would never have given you up. He'd have done to you what I did to Leah. It would have been worse Bella. You loved him but not like that."

"Is it guilt then? Do you still feel guilty for hurting Leah?"

He looked back to me, "Don't you understand? What I did to her, it was worse than what that leech did to you. I didn't leave. I stayed here; I stayed here and married her cousin. I disappeared without explanation for a month; I came back and ignored her. Harry had asked me to stay away from her, to protect her. Then her cousin came to comfort her and within a week, I had bedded her. Within a month, she was living with me. Everyday Leah has to see us together and to make it worse, she was then forced to live in my head. I can shield my thoughts now but I couldn't before. She had to see how much I loved Em, how every thought I had centered around Em. She was, she is a good woman and I have to live everyday of my life knowing that I hurt her. I hurt her like that leech hurt you. If it weren't enough, I also have to live with the anger and hatred I felt for her after I had hurt Emily. She could see it, could feel it through the pack mind. I had phased to close to Em because of her and for a time, just a heartbeat, I hated her for it. Emily is my life, my world, she is perfection and because of Leah, because of me she was hurt." He moved back and sat on the porch, "I loved Leah, I love her as my pack sister and what I did to her is as wrong as what I did to you, but I still believe it was the better option, that I made the better choice for you. The leech had already hurt you; I couldn't allow Jake to do to you what I did to Leah. I couldn't allow you to suffer that again."

I walked over and sat next to him, "Maybe I needed it. That extra push to make me leave, to make myself strong."

"Are you and Paul alright?"

I shrugged, "The imprint is fine."

"Not what I asked."

"No." I smiled at him, "And yes, Paul and I are ok. We're working on building a relationship, starting from the beginning."

"Good, that's good." He nodded.

"You should try it."

"She left me." The pain in his voice was pure. It was an agony I recognized. This wasn't voodoo; he loved her.

"So show her she is more than an imprint. Give her time and space, and just love her. She knows you need her, let her see that you want her too."

"Why are you helping me?"

"I don't hate you. I wanted to. I learned that anger was easier than pain. I didn't heal, I let myself stay broken, I tried to run from the pain and hide who I used to be but I'm not sure I like who I became either. I hurt Charlie. I did to him what the Cullen's did to me."

"We all had a part in that. I had a part in that. It's why I wanted so bad for you to stay after you first showed up."

"Paul thinks of you as a brother."

"I think of him as one. Jared to. All the pack is our family but the three of us share something more than being wolves. I can't explain it. I'd do anything for them."

I nodded, "I love him."

"He really does love you to."

"I think I know that."

"So why aren't you with him?"

"I need to be sure its real."

"The imprint doesn't make us love you Bella. It makes us see you, makes us need you but the love is real. Emily is everything beautiful and good in my life. She is the reason I get up in the morning, because when I wake up I get to see her. When I hold her in my arms, everything is right in the world. I can face anything as long as I have her by my side."

"I believe you."

"Help me."

"Did you know that before she moved here to be with you, Emily wanted to be a nurse?"

"She never told me."

"No, because she'd have to commute to PA and hates how she looks. You might have thought you were being supportive by letting her hide here but by not encouraging her to go out, you taught her to hide who she is and how she looks not because its hard for her but because its hard for you, because every time some one reacts to how she looks it hurts you. She became everything you needed and wanted because she felt so guilty for how much you hurt because you'd phased near her. She knew you still loved Leah and hated that because of the imprint she took that choice away from you. She felt like she needed to be everything for you to make up for the fact that it wasn't her you wanted. She became what you needed and lost who she was."

"I only ever wanted her to be happy."

"Then you need to learn the same lesson I do."

"What?"

"Let go of the past. Let go of the guilt for scarring her and let go of Leah. I have to let go of the anger and Edward."

"You are much stronger than you realize."

"I'm scared Sam. I was always just scared. I'm trying though and I never meant to hurt this pack. I didn't set out to separate all the imprints."

"No," he shook his head, "This was coming. I think deep down we all knew it. We can feel their unhappiness. We just all pretended. It was easier. I guess we were all just scared to."

"She loves you, you love her, just give it time, talk about things, build a solid foundation. Imprinting isn't a solid foundation. It's just a beginning, an arrow to a person you need in your life to balance you, to complete you. Maybe that is a mate and maybe it isn't, for Paul and maybe you, I think it is but there needs to be love and trust, respect and understanding."

"Where do I begin?"

I smiled at him, "I'd suggest asking her on a date."

He laughed, "You think she'll say yes?"

"It's worth a shot." I shrugged, "The woman did marry you after all."

He chuckled, "Yeah, she did." He took a deep breath and let it out, "How do I fix the Leah thing? Show her I choose her? I care about Leah but I want Em."

"Choose her. There is no magic Sam, no grand gesture, no proof, there is only love and faith. Paul has already given me so much love and trust, I know that he respects me, I know that he has chosen me and I choose him to. Now we just need to get to know each other and let it grow into more."

"What about Jared?"

I sighed, "I wish I knew."

"He does love Kim."

"She doesn't feel it. She and Jenna both feel like they were the women Jared and Seth got stuck with. That the wolves resent the imprint and so resent them."

"What can they do? What can Jared do? How does he build a foundation? Does he take her on a date to?"

"I honestly don't know. I think maybe he needs to talk to Kim."

"What did she want? Before the imprint I mean."

"Kim, as you know wanted Jared to see her. She wanted him to notice her and I guess you should be careful what you wish for because he did. Now though she's afraid he's only with her because of the imprint and if he hadn't imprinted then he'd never have looked at her let alone chosen her. She wants to be his choice, not his only option. I suppose its what we all want."

Sam nodded, "You'll look out for each other? Call us if there is anything? I know your house isn't far but it's not on the reservation. With the Cullen's gone I can extend patrols out but that will only tell us no leeches are around, it wont tell us that you're all ok."

"None of us are ok Sam. I don't think any of them have been for a while but we're working on it and I promise one of us will call if there is anything."

"Thank you." I smiled at him again and stood up, walking towards the truck. "Hey Bella." He stopped me so I turned back to look at him. He sighed, his eyes meeting mine, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"You'd still make the same choice though."

He nodded, "Yes."

"Thank you for being honest." I smiled sadly, "I think I might be glad about it too." At his questioning look I clarified, "I'm still damaged from Edward. Jake hurt and so I've been angry but I think if we'd been together when he imprinted on Holly, it would have actually broken me. So thank you, for hurting me, to protect me. I think I see now how hard it was for you to do and now that I can understand why you did it, I'm almost grateful."

"Thank you for taking care of Em. If you need anything, just let me know."

I nodded and smiled opening the door to the truck, "A teacher. Kim wanted to be a teacher."

He nodded, "Thanks."

I got in the truck and drove back to my house to talk to the girls.

Emily was already awake and in the kitchen.

"Kim's just left for work, do you want breakfast?"

"No thanks." I smiled at her, pouring myself a mug of coffee.

"Where were you off so early?"

"I went to talk to Sam."

"Oh."

"He loves you Em."

"Oh." Her hand went to her stomach and she moved over to the table to sit down. "What? I mean, why did you? What did he, what did you say?"

"He cares about Leah."

She looked down at her lap, her hands clenched together as she twisted them together, "Of course."

"He loves you." She looked back up at me as I spoke, "He feels guilty. He hurt her and she didn't deserve to be hurt like that. He cares about her and is sorry for her but he loves you."

"I don't, I mean, what, well, what do I do now?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I, well, I want, I want," she paused in thought. "I don't think I really know."

"Do you still want to be a nurse?"

She thought for a minute and then nodded, "Yes. I want to do more than stay home. I want to help people."

"Then I'd say the first thing you do is look into schools."

"What about Sam?"

"I have a feeling he'll show up before to long with a plan to win you back and show you that you are his choice."

"Thank you Bella. For all of this, for giving us the strength to face our fears and stand up for how we feel."

I shrugged, "All I did was show up. Holly did this. She left Jake, she gave us all the strength to talk about it and to be honest with ourselves."

"Will you go talk to Jake?"

"I'm not sure there is anything to say."

"Isn't there?"'

"Maybe, but I'm not sure I know what to say or where to start."

"What about the others? How do we help them?"

I shrugged again, "I don't think we can. They'll just have to figure it out for themselves. All we can do is be there for them."

She nodded again, "We can do that."

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Will you help me look into the nursing program in PA?""

"I'd love to, maybe I'll take a class too. I liked the ones I took with Lisa, we just didn't have the time and energy to keep it up."

"You must miss her."

"Yeah, I do. August and Etienne too but they have a life in New Orleans, Lise and I never really did. We existed, working from one day to the next, keeping busy, never slowing down so that we didn't have to think or face the past. I don't miss New Orleans or my life there at all. Paul was right; I was tired, running myself down and a hairs breath away from crashing from it all. Lise is in the same boat. We just couldn't stop running."

"What was she running from?"

"She never said and I never asked. We never talked about the past or our families."

"I hope she finds peace."

"Me too." I smiled at Em, "I think I'll call her later, check in."

"Call who?" Holly asked yawning as she came into the kitchen.

"Lisa Anne." I answered getting up, "It can wait until tonight though. Emily and I are going in to PA to look at the school, want to come?"

"Sounds like fun, Jake can handle the shop today."

"I'll call Jenna's house, I think she needs some back to school things." Emily said getting up from the table as well.

Two hours later and we were wandering the college campus. Jenna had called long neglected friends from school and was spending the day shopping with them. We were happy for her. By the end of the day, Holly had signed up for a class in advanced mechanics and computer sciences. Emily had applied for nursing school and I had information in business classes for me and teacher's education and a couple extra brochures of programs for good measure for Kim.

That night we opened a couple bottles of wine and went through all the program information, we ordered in pizzas and watched a couple movies, choosing ones that revolved around university.

The next morning we woke up to Angela bringing us breakfast.

"Morning Ang." I yawned coming into the kitchen.

"Bella. How are you?"

"Good. You?"

"Fine thank you, Jenna said you were all looking into going back to school last night."

"Yeah," Kim grinned coming into the kitchen and pouring coffee, "Bella and I are going to bring in our applications today."

"That's great." Angela smiled at her. "What are you studying?"

"I used to want to be a teacher so I was looking into that but I think I'm going to take accounting instead. I already know a lot from Jared and I really enjoy helping him. I think it would be a great job." Kim answered with a grin.

"I'm going into the nursing program, if they accept me. I always wanted to be a nurse and Bella is going to take more business classes."

"Jenna looked at our applications to and I think she's decided that next year she's going into computer science with Holly."

"Holly's going into computer science?" Angela asked surprised.

"Yeah, she wants to take one advanced mechanics class and a couple computer sciences."

"I used to want to take photography classes." Angela said softly.

"So why don't you?" I asked sitting down.

"My dad didn't think it was practical. He wanted me to go into the ministry. He hasn't spoken to me since I moved in with Quil without being married."

"I'm sorry Ang. I didn't know."

She shrugged, "I never said. Anyways, it's fine. I've accepted it now and I do talk to my mom still sometimes and my little brother. I took young childhood education for my mom. I do like it, most of the time the kids are great."

"You should look into photography classes, if its what you want Ang. You shouldn't live your life for other people." Holly told her, pulling her into a hug.

"You should come with Bella and I today. Have a look at what they offer."

"I already know." She blushed. "While I was taking classes before, I looked into it."

"Do you still want to take those classes?" I asked her. She nodded. "So let's get you an application."

She smiled at me, "Thanks Bella."

Kim, Angela, Emily and I decided to spend the day in Port Angeles again. We wandered the campus and went shopping. Holly and Jenna met us for dinner and then a movie. It was a good day but we were all feeling the absence of the boys. Two days felt like a long time not to see them.

I guess it was for them to because Paul, Jared and Sam were on my steps when we got back.

I jumped out of the truck, walked directly into Paul's arms, and kissed him, "Hey."

"Hey." He replied, kissing me again, this time with enough heat to singe my toes.

I blushed when he finally pulled away, though he still held me securely in his arms, "What are you boys doing here?" I asked him, reveling in the heat his body seemed to feed into my very soul.

"I came to ask you to dinner."

"We ate." I told him a little sad.

He laughed, "Not now. Tomorrow. For a date."

I grinned at him, "Ok."

He grinned back and then kissed me again. I wrapped myself around him and wished I could just hold onto him forever.

"Leave!" Kim's angry voice broke me from my Paul bubble and I pulled away from him to see her hurry past, tears in her eyes.

My eyes met Emily's and together we turned to Jared.

"What did you do?" Emily asked quietly.

"I have no fucking clue." Jared answered before turning to me, "Bella, please, help me."

"What can I do?"

"I don't know. Fuck. Talk to her. Tell me what to do. How do I fix this? I don't even know what's broken. What did I do? What am I doing wrong?"

I smiled sadly at him, I honestly liked Jared, I had since the beginning, "Just give her a little time. If I can help, I will."

"Thanks." He sighed running his hand through his hair. "I'm staying with Paul, just call me if there is anything you or she needs."

I nodded, "I will." I squeezed Paul's hand and moved past him to the house. Emily kissed Sam's shoulder, followed me up the steps, and moved past me into the house when I stopped to turn around. "You know, its not enough just to love someone, I think its something all of you wolves forgot, as though the imprint just magically bound a relationship up in a bow for you and you didn't need to try. I might not be the authority on healthy relationships but I do know that it takes work, compromise, respect, honesty and real love to make it through the years together without growing bitter and resentful for something as binding and demanding as this imprint business."

I turned back and walked into the house to find Kim.

She was in the living room with Emily and Holly who had gone into the house as soon as she saw our wolves on the steps.

"What happened?" I asked sitting in Charlie's old recliner.

"Nothing." Kim said looking away.

"Kim?"

"I don't know if I can do this."

"So go home to him." I got up and moved to kneel in front of her. "If you want to be with Jared, then just go home to him. You can work things out there."

She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks, "That's just it." She whispered, "I don't know that I want to."

"Kim?" Emily asked squeezing her hand.

"I love him. I really do but I don't think I can go back to that life. I'm so angry with him and with myself. How could I have been so stupid, so naive? I wanted him to notice me and then one day he did and I let myself believe it was this great fairy tale but its not. He never wanted me. My whole life with him is a lie and I can't live it anymore and I don't know if I can ever believe it's not a lie, a part of the imprint magic."

"I'm not going back to Jake." Holly said rubbing her back, "we can be imprints without being with them. It will take time but it will be ok. It was hard today, working with Jake but I could see how it would work. It will be ok."

"You're really not going back to Jake?" I asked her surprised.

She looked at me, "Why? Do you want to date him?"

"No." I shook my head, "I love Paul. I'm just surprised."

She shrugged, "If he ever really falls out of love with you, then yes, I'd consider starting a relationship with him. I don't really think that will ever happen. Jake needs to grow up. He lives in a dream world. He seems so happy and laid back but underneath it he's scared, angry and selfish."

"I'm sorry Holly." I met her eyes, "I never meant to come here and put a wedge in your relationship."

"You were always a wedge in our relationship, I was just able to let myself be blind to it while you were away. It's not your fault. Jake just can't seem to let you go and that's on him, not you."

We talked for a while longer before going to bed. It had been a long day and we were all tired and emotionally drained.

The next day I called Lisa. I missed her crazy ass. I was also feeling very emotional the last week or so. I suppose it wasn't surprising considering all that had been going on since I had gotten that wedding invitation.

"Well hola bitch." She answered on the second ring. "How are things down in chilly Washington?"

"Good. Still hard but you know, I suppose it's all worth it."

"Is it?"

"You ok?"

"Just been thinking. You know I count on you to be here to keep me from doing that. Now you've gone all, face the past and heal or shit and it's got me thinking."

"Well, it might help to talk about it." I settled onto Charlie's old chair in the living room, "I'm a pretty good listener. You know, not as good as I am at slinging drinks or singing sad jazz but still not bad."

She laughed a little, "I miss you bitch."

"I miss you to heartless."

"You happy up there?"

"Yeah, I think I am. Why, you maybe want to give small town life a try?"

"I'm thinking of leaving the city but you wont ever see me moving to the cold assed north. We'll just have to keep up with technology until the cold gets to you and you follow the sun south again."

"Oh, I don't think I'll be doing that. Not more than for a short visit anyways." I let her change the subject. If she didn't want to talk about it, I wouldn't push.

"I'll maybe brave the northern elements for a visit one day too."

"Any time."

"It might be a while though."

"Things ok there? You get another roommate? Need anything?"

"Things are good. Like I said, I miss you, August and Etienne do to but we are all good. I'm living with a friend of theirs, nice guy, he cooks and doesn't bring guys back home so we get on fine but he's not you."

"I miss you to."

"Well, like I said I doubt I'll be here much longer."

"Where will you go?"

"Taking a page out of your book and going home."

"Yeah?"

"I figure it's about time I faced my husband."

"Husband?" Now that had to be the biggest surprise of anything I had ever been told, and I knew vampires and werewolves. Lisa Anne did not do commitment.

"My high school boyfriend and I got married, I was sixteen and he was seventeen."

"Pregnant?" I asked quietly.

"We had a little girl. Talia. His twin brother took her for a day so we could go out just us. They both died in a car accident. She was three."

Lisa and I were both crying into the phone, "I'm so sorry Lise."

"I still love him you know. It's why I never wanted to date. Deep down I still just want to be with Jason. I just had to leave, I couldn't stay there, everything in town and on the ranch reminded me of Talia and then I didn't know how to go back."

"Just get on a plane and go." I told her quietly, "It's hard, but you need to go home. Let yourself heal."

"I miss my baby girl." She sobbed. "I miss her every minute."

"I know."

"I blamed him. I blamed Jason for sending her with Jordan. He knew his brother was irresponsible. I didn't want to leave her with him but Jace swore it would be fine." Her words were broken up by her sobs, "It wasn't fine Belle. My little girl, my perfect angel."

"Lise. God Lise." I cried with her. Holly had come into the room and sat holding my hand while I cried into the phone with my friend. "I'm so sorry Lisa."

"I didn't mean to blame him. I didn't really, I was just so broken Belle, my baby, I just wanted my baby back. I still loved him, I still love him."

We cried together over the phone, "Go home honey. Go home and talk to Jason."

"What if he's moved on? What if he hates me for leaving?"

"You'll never know until you go home and he wont hate you. You lost your daughter; no one has a right to judge how you heal from that honey. I don't even know how you begin to heal from that."

"You Belle. You helped me heal. Getting stuck in that desert and meeting you was the best thing to happen to me in a long while. I really needed a friend like you."

"I needed one like you to. You helped me Lise. You gave me the strength to come home. I'd never have accepted that invitation if it weren't for you."

"You going back has given me the strength to go to Belle."

"You'll keep in touch? Call or email ok. Let me know how things are?"

"Always. You to alright? Apart or not I'm here for you bitch."

"Me too heartless."

"I'm off to book that flight while you've bolstered my courage."

"Take care of yourself girl."

"You too. Mad love."

"Mad love."

I ended the call and wiped at the tears still falling.

Holly gripped my hand, "Everything ok?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

She squeezed my hand again, "Ok."

"Lisa lost a daughter a few years back. I never knew."

"Oh." Sadness replaced the concern in her eyes, "I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine. That poor girl."

I nodded in agreement, "She's going home. Going to work things out with her husband."

"You ok?"

I nodded, "I think I just need to call Paul."

She nodded in agreement, "Why don't you head down to see him."

I sent her a smile and nodded. I felt a little numb and dazed as I got up and took my keys. I walked out into the rain, hardly noticing the cold or the fact that I was walking barefoot on my still sore ankle.