Chapter 12: Decisions

Author's Note: Sorry I haven't been around in a while! I had a lot of tests to study for. Anyway, no more of my rambling. Now is time to read my newest chapter! I hope you all like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight...duh!

Anything italics is straight from the beautifully written book of Stephenie Meyer

Bella POV:

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! GET YOUR BUTT IN HEAR THIS INSTANT YOUNG LADY!" Well, this sounds pleasant. I gave Jasper a goodbye and rushed as fast as I could on crutches to the front door.

"Dad, what's wrong? What did I do to upset you?"

Charlie's face turned to the brightest purple I've ever seen. "Because you ruined my reputation you little brat. First you cause a car accident, then I hear that you have detention both today and tomorrow, and now I see you going to others for car rides when I told you that I couldn't pick you up because of work."

"Dad, I swear I didn't mean for any of that to happen!"

"You think I care if you didn't mean for it to happen?" He asked incredulously. I simply nodded my head.

"No Bella, I don't care that you didn't mean for any of that to happen. I don't care about anything, especially YOU!" He may as well have gotten me run over by a truck. That would have caused less pain than those words.

"Do you want me to go back to Renee?"

"Yes, I do. Unfortunately though, she called today to tell me her life on the road with Phil is wonderful so she isn't going to waste her time on you." That felt like an even bigger truck.

"What do you want me to do then, Charlie?"

"Move out, this instant!"

It really hurt that he wanted to get rid of me that quickly. "Charlie how about you and I make a deal?" He nodded his head so I kept going. "What if I stayed here until the end of high school. When my high school career is ended I'll go to college and neither you or Renee will ever hear from me again. I'll even work so you won't have to pay for college. Is that a deal?" Too bad he didn't know I wouldn't even live long enough to go to any sort of college that I managed to get in.

He eagerly nodded his head. Quickly, Charlie grasped my hand and shook it. "It's a deal kiddo." Then Charlie left with a smile on his face to watch football. Like a zombie, I wasn't aware of what I was doing after that. All of my movements were robotic. I made dinner, served it, went upstairs, did my homework, took a shower, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, used mouthwash, changed into my pajamas, and crawled into bed. Only when my head hit the pillow did everything come crashing down on me. My parents didn't want me anymore; I was alone.

A few tears escaped my eyes, but not many. By now I trained myself to not let anybody get to me. I was alone, the only thing I was used to. Solitude. Thoughts of suicide ran through my mind. Usually, I would dismiss those thoughts because of Charlie and Renee, but now they weren't part of the equation. There was only one thing that prevented me from ending my life, and that was because of how curious I was about the Cullen family.

J POV:

How did she put up with all of this? If I weren't an empath, I probably wouldn't have been able to tell that she was in any pain. Since I am though, I felt it. The pain was so severe I was nearly knocked off of my feet. No human should be able to contain that level of emotion. Even when humans are at the point of death they don't feel this much! Her feelings are as strong as a vampire's!

Isabella is hiding something, and just like Edward, I want to know what it is. The sad thing though, is that she is much to perceptive. Edward isn't allowing us to talk to her anymore because he fears she will learn our secret. I guess Edward and I will have to just observe from afar.

B POV:

Using my crutches, I made my way to biology. This was the only part of the day I was remotely excited for. All I could hope was that I actually had a chance to talk to Edward and he wouldn't be too disgusted by me.

Boy was I wrong. He just pretended I didn't exist, along with the rest of his family. I couldn't hide that I wasn't disappointed, but I understood. How long was anybody able to put up with me?

When he sat next to me in class, as far from me as the table would allow, he seemed totally unaware of my presence. Only now and then, when his fists would suddenly ball up-skin stretched even whiter over the bones-did I wonder if he wasn't quite as oblivious as he appeared.

Of course I didn't try to talk to him. If he was ignoring me than it was a good thing, no attachments. At least, that was what I kept telling myself day in and day out for a month. The only good part of the month was that Charlie got me a brand new car! It was just like my old one so now I was able to drive instead of walk to school.

After the month passed I was sitting in biology waiting for class to begin. As always, I was electrically aware of Edward sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if he were merely an invitation of my imagination.

I was about to start doodling in my notebook until I heard what Mike and his friends were talking about.

"You lost the bet Mike, you know what the consequences are." Tyler said.

"Tyler, please, I'll do anything you want but don't make me do that! Bella's a freak, I don't want to ask her out!" I broke my pencil in two, though Edward still seemed completely oblivious. Why did I have to be a part of a stupid bet?

"Fine." Mike sighed. Then he started marching toward me, with an expression that showed that he thought I wasn't going to say no. Man, was he in for a shocker.

"So," Mike said, looking at the floor, "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great." I made my voice bright and enthusiastic. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

"Well..." He floundered as he examined my smile, clearly not happy with my response. I wasn't going to give him any satisfaction that I could be won over so easily. "I told her I had to think about it." Liar.

"Why would you do that?"

"I was wondering if...well, if you might be planning to ask me."

There was no way I was ever going to go to any social event with Mike. Especially if it meant going out on a date!

But I saw, from the corner of my eye, Edward's head tilt reflexively in my direction. Well, that was definitely interesting to me.

"Mike, I think you should tell her yes," I said. His mouth popped open in shock, probably wondering why I could possibly be saying no to him.

"Did you already ask someone?" His voice was incredulous, which further proved how full of himself he was. I decided I should pity him just a little though, after all, it wasn't his idea to ask me out.

"No," I assured him. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

"Why not?" Mike demanded. I really wished I could just scream in his ear that he should just leave me alone and tell his friends to stop making bets that involve me. Too bad I didn't.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," I explained. I needed to get out of town anyway-it was suddenly the perfect time to go.

"Can't you go some other weekend?" He really must've hated having his friends be within hearing distance and knowing that for the first time he got turned down, by me no less.

"Sorry, no," I said. "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer-it's rude."

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk back to his seat. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of my head.

I hated that I made him look like a fool in front of his friends, but what else could I do? He deserved it.

Mr. Banner started talking. I sighed and opened my eyes.

And Edward was staring at me curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in his black eyes.

I stared back, surprised, expecting him to look quickly away. But instead he continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes. There was no question of me looking away. My hands started to shake.

"Mr. Cullen?" the teacher called, seeking the answer to a question that I hadn't heard.

"The Krebs Cycle," Edward answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to look at Mr. Banner.

I looked down at my book as soon as his eyes released me, trying to find my place. Cowardly as ever, I shifted my hair over my right shoulder to hide my face. I couldn't believe the rush of emotion pulsing through me-just because he'd happened to look at me for the first time in a half-dozen weeks. I couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy. How I wished I was just a regular girl so I could just talk to him!

I tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour, and, since that was impossible, at least not to let him know that I was aware of him. When the bell rang at last, I turned my back to him to gather my things, expecting him to leave immediately as usual.

"Bella?" His voice shouldn't have been so familiar to me, as if I'd known the sound of it all my life rather than just a few short weeks.

I turned slowly, unwillingly. I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel when I looked at his too-perfect face. My expression was wary when I finally turned to him, his expression unreadable. He didn't say anything.

"What? Are you speaking to me again?" I finally asked, an unintentional note of petulance in my voice.

His lips twitched, fighting a smile. "No, not really," he admitted.

I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly through my nose, aware that I was gritting my teeth. He waited.

"Then what do you want, Edward?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed; it was easier to talk to him coherently that way.

"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere.

He never ceased to amaze me. No one had ever apologized to me before.

"I'm being rude, I know. But it's better this way, really." I opened my eyes. His face was very serious.

"I don't know what you mean," I said, my voice guarded.

"It's better if we're not friends," he explained. "Trust me."

"Believe me, you don't know the half of it." I mumbled. Now I was angry. These were the last words I was going to hear from him, fantastic!

This time I spoke louder. "It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," I hissed through my teeth. "You could have saved yourself all this regret."

"Regret?" The word, and my tone, obviously caught him off guard. "Regret for what?"
"For not just letting that stupid van squish me." I exclaimed. "For not just pushing me in front of that van and ending all of this! You had the perfect opportunity but you chose to not take it and now you regret it."
He was astonished. He stared at me in disbelief.

When he finally spoke, he almost sounded mad. "You think I regret attempting to save you and not just ending your life?"

"I know you do," I snapped.

"You don't know anything." He was definitely mad.

I turned my head sharply away from him, clenching my jaw against all the wild accusations I wanted to hurl at him.

Briskly, I marched out of the room without a backward glance.

Thousands of thoughts were swirling around in my head. Why does he even care? Will he ever speak to me again? What does he think of me? What's his secret?

At the end of the day, Tyler was dared by Mike to ask me out, so while Edward was causing a traffic jam, Tyler asked me out. I told him no and he seemed just as upset as Mike was. Both of them were so self-centered. Being so ticked I must have had a very odd expression on my face because I could have sworn I saw Edward laughing.

These thoughts stayed with me throughout the day. The rest of gym class, at home, in bed, and when I got up in the morning.

The next morning, when I pulled into the parking lot, I deliberately parked as far as possible from the silver Volvo. I didn't want to put myself in the path of too much temptation and end up owing him a new car. Getting out of the cab, I fumbled with my key and it fell into a puddle at my feet. As I bent to get it, a white hand flashed out and grabbed it before I could. I jerked upright. Edward Cullen was right next to me, leaning casually against my truck.

"How do you do that?" I asked in amazed irritation.

"Do what?" He held my key out as he spoke. As I reached for it, he dropped it into my palm.

"Appear out of thin air." He was really getting me curious about that little secret of his.

"Bella, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant." His voice was quiet as usual-velvet, muted.

I scowled at his perfect face. His eyes were light again today, a deep, golden honey color. Then I had to look down to reassemble my now-tangled thoughts.

"Why the traffic jam last night?" I demanded, still looking away. " I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death."

"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance." He snickered.

"You..." I gasped. I couldn't think of a bad enough word. It felt like the heat of my anger should physically burn him, but he only seemed more amused.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," he continued.

"So you are trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?"

Anger flashed in his tawny eyes. His lips pressed into a hard line, all signs of humor gone.

"Bella, you are utterly absurd," he said, his voice cold.

My palms tingled-I wanted so badly to hit something. I wished there was a demon around, then he could see I wasn't someone to mess with. I was surprised at myself, I usually wouldn't even think of letting my secret out. He had more of an affect on me than I thought.

I turned my back and started to walk away.

"Wait," he called. I kept walking, sloshing angrily through the rain. But he was next to me, easily keeping pace.

"I'm sorry, that was rude," he said as we walked. I ignored him. "I'm not saying it isn't true," he continued, "buy it was rude to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?" I grumbled.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," he chuckled. He seemed to have recovered his good humor.

"Do you have multiple personality disorder?" I asked severely.

"You're doing it again."

I sighed. "Fine then. What do you want to ask?"

"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday-you know, the day of the spring dance-"

"Are you trying to be funny?" I interrupted him, wheeling toward him. My face got drenched as I looked up at his expression.

His eyes were wickedly amused. "Will you please allow me to finish?"

I bit my lip and clasped my hands together, interlocking my fingers so I couldn't do anything rash.

"I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

That was unexpected.

"What?" I wasn't sure what he was getting it.

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?"

"With who?" I asked, mystified.

"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped.

I was still stunned. "Why"

"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and , to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it."

That was when I thought it all made sense. I thought that all of that was just out of pity, with good reason for me to think so too.

"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeds, and , to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it."

"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern." I started to walk again, but I was too surprised to maintain the same level of anger.

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?" He matched my pace again.

"I don't see how that is any of your business." Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business." Wow, I thought, he must be really desperate.

"Honestly, Edward." I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated it. "I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend."

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."

"Oh, thanks, now that's all cleared up." Heavy sarcasm. I realized I had stopped walking again. We were under the shelter of the cafeteria roof now, so I could more easily look at his face. Which certainly didn't help my clarity of thought.

"It would be more...prudent for you not to be my friend," he explained. "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella."

His eyes were gloriously intense as he uttered that last sentence, his voice smoldering. I couldn't remember how to breathe.

"Will you go with me to Seattle?" he asked, still intense.

I couldn't speak yet, so I just nodded.

He smiled briefly, and then his face became serious.

"You really should stay away from me," he warned. "I'll see you in class."

He turned abruptly and walked back the way we'd come.

"What have I done?" I said to myself. "This will only end in hurt."

"You bet it will." My head whipped around and I saw a brand new demon. Before I had the chance to defend myself he lunged at me.

Cliff hanger! I hope you all liked it! PLZ R&R!