May 2019
Will
Alicia, Mira, and I have been enjoying ourselves at this community center all afternoon. Lillian and Hannah planned a fundraiser in D.C. for Lillian's foundation this week. It happened to fall the day before Zach's graduation, so Alicia and I volunteered to help out.
There has been a great turnout of support for the families that are here that will benefit from the funds raised. I can't imagine what it must be like for some of these parents after some of the stories I've heard. Many forced to find shelter for their children in homeless centers, in many cases due to unbelievable circumstances.
Alicia is a natural draw for the kids. A whole group of them are seated around her while she reads them one last story before it's time to finish up for the day. This is quite the contrast for her in public, wearing jeans and button up sleeveless blouse, her hair pulled up in a ponytail, as compared to the no nonsense lawyer in expensive dresses and heels, she wears to work every day.
"You used to play baseball?" My thoughts are interrupted by a boy maybe ten years old.
"Yes, I did. How did you know that?"
He points to Alicia. "She told us earlier. She said you did real good in school and got a scholarship to play baseball at Georgetown. And that if we worked really hard we could earn a scholarship to."
I'm impressed the boy remembered all of that. "She's right. Do you like baseball?" I can already guess. He's wearing an Orioles cap, and has a baseball in his hand.
"Yes. Would you mind showing me the right way to pitch a few balls? Someday I want to be on a team like my friends back home before we had to move."
"Sure. Tell your parent's we'll be right over there so they can find you." I point across the lawn to an open grassy area.
A few minutes later I'm surrounded by a group of eager looking kids. Apparently that boy isn't the only one who wants to play a little ball. Much to my surprise they all seem impressed I used to play for a college team. I chuckle to myself, because a minor, or major league player would be much more impressive than the baseball I played in college.
/
We are headed back to the hotel for awhile before we meet up with Zach and Grace for dinner. "You did a great job with those kids this afternoon. I think they had more fun tossing that baseball around than anything else." Alicia comments.
"I had a good time." I peer through the rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of Mira. "I can't imagine how life must be for those kids."
"I know," she comments, peering back to Mira herself. "And sadly they're the ones living in a first world country. Imagine what it must be like elsewhere." She shakes her head, leaning back in the seat closing her eyes.
"I think we should get more involved in Lillian's foundation," I add, taking her hand.
"I agree. We'll invite Lillian and Dave over for dinner when we get back home, and discuss it."
"Good, and maybe we should think about taking on more pro-bono cases within the office," I suggest. She opens her eyes again, peering over to me. "What?" I question.
'Seeing those kids really got to you didn't it?" she says, in all seriousness.
"Yeah. All they want to do is…go to school, play ball, have a little fun, just be kids. But finding a place to sleep and coming up with enough food to go to bed on a partially full stomach at night, prevents them from most of that."
She smiles moving her hand to the back of my shoulder. "How is your back?"
I can't hide anything from her. "It's hurting now," I admit. The open wounds from my run-in with the drug lord six weeks ago are healed. But I don't think the muscles in my back will ever be the same. "I'll take something before we go to dinner. I wasn't going to let those kids down because of a little pain."
I take my eye off the road briefly to glance over to her. She's still reeling over the whole situation. I've done my best to keep her out of the meetings I've had with this client. Her disapproval of our representing him has been voiced more than once, and caused a few squabbles between us in the past few weeks. It's not that I don't agree with her, but I don't want to know what the consequences of refusing to represent this client would be.
"Alicia, I'll be fine." She worries too much sometimes. Although I do have to admit right now the pain is much worse than it has been.
"I know. But you're going to let me work on those muscles tonight. I won't have you hobbling around campus tomorrow."
I laugh. "I will not hobble around tomorrow, I promise." I say as we pull into hotel parking. I won't argue with that. A good back rub from her later would do wonders.
"Good. I'm glad we're on the same page, because when we get home I'm making you an appointment to see a physical therapist." She gets out of the car, and moves around to the back so she can unbuckle Mira.
I take Mira from her. "I'll make the appointment." I say. It's a good idea, and I know full well she'll pretend to withhold any and all affection from me unless I agree to it.
/
Alicia has been wound as tight as a ball this morning, and I don't think she even realizes it. It's a mix of things. Zach's graduating, which means he's continuing to grow up. She's happy about this, but I think it makes her a little sad. The more stressing issue is that I know she's worried about the dynamics of Peter and I being together in the same place for hours today. This, even though he and I get along fine, and I've told her so a thousand times in the past few weeks, but I don't think she's convinced.
She turns to look at me, searching for approval of her chosen outfit. I can see the hint of insecurity in her eyes, something I try hard to prevent from ever happening, but today it may be unavoidable. The other thing that's bothering her is something she'd never admit. Peter is engaged, and will be bringing his fiancé to the graduation. Subconsciously I don't think she will ever be able to fully get rid of the questions that ran through her mind ten years ago. Why did you fall out of love with me? Why wasn't I good enough, attractive enough for you? Despite the fact that the fences have been long mended, and we've all moved on, she's nervous about meeting the woman who apparently can be all of these things for Peter now.
I smile and nod, allowing my eyes to wander up and down her body once. She takes it the wrong way, and rolls her eyes.
"Is thinking about getting my clothes back off after I've just put them on, the only thing you ever think about when you look at me like that?"
Here we go, her stress coming out in her comments now. I can't help but chuckle as I move next to her. "No, and for the record, I wasn't thinking about that just now. I was thinking about how good you looked with your clothes on. How lucky I am to have such a beautiful wife. You could pass as a graduate yourself today." It's no lie. She's aging well. Still looks likes she's thirty. I move behind her placing my hands on her bare shoulders leaving little space between us. "Calm down," I whisper in her ear, then lean in closer to place a kiss to her cheek. "You're wound up so tight, you won't enjoy the ceremony."
She sighs. "I know. It's just that Peter and Jackie will be there. And we're going to meet this girl that Zach is dating."
"Rachel," I comment. The girlfriend does have a name.
"Yes, Rachel. And can we just stop for a second and acknowledge the odd fact that the last time we were all here, I was dating Peter, nearly engaged, and you were the friend on the outside? And now we're married, and he's engaged to someone else."
I can't help but laugh a bit at the irony. I force her to turn and look at me. "I had thought about that. And I'm perfectly happy being the one that will be holding your hand this time at a Georgetown graduation." I lean in for a quick kiss. "It's all going to run smoothly. I bet you'll even like Rachel."
"She does sound nice from what the Zach has said. And Grace seems to like her," she says, gently patting my chest. She moves from out of my grasp to the bed to put her heels on.
My attention is turned to Mira who grabs onto my pant leg and pulls herself up to stand next to me. I pick her up and gather a few things to place in her diaper bag, then turn back to Alicia to see if she's ready to go. She's lost in thought again, and I can't help but chuckle. She looks up at me.
"You laugh now, but just wait until it's your daughter graduating." She stands, and grabs her purse.
"I will not have a bad case of the nerves when she graduates from college." I press a kiss to Mira's cheek.
"I didn't mean when Mira graduates from college," she teases. "We'll see how you handle kindergarten graduation first."
We both laugh as Mira begins to play with the button on my jacket. "Mommy doesn't have much faith in my ability to keep my emotions in check when it comes to you," I say, following Alicia to the door.
She turns to face me again. "Putty," she states, with the most serious smile she can muster. "You are pure putty in her hands." Then she turns to exit the hotel room. I would try to counter argue, but I know she's right.
/
It's always interesting to watch Alicia when she's in mother mode with the older kids. Straightening Zach's tie, making sure he understands where to meet when the ceremony is over. And of course the look of joy, and pride, in her smile when she gives him one last hug before he heads to get in line with the other graduates.
Just outside the auditorium I notice Grace, Owen, and Veronica talking. As we get closer, I can now see Jackie, Peter and the tall woman with auburn hair who has her back turned to us holding his hand. Alicia grasps tightly onto my free hand as we get closer.
"There they are," Veronica comments as we reach the group. "We thought you were going to be late."
"Mom, is Alicia ever late for anything?" Owen adds.
"We were with Zach," Alicia comments, releasing her grasp on my hand. She turns her attention to Peter. "I hear congratulations are in order," she says, her gaze moving to the woman next to Peter.
"Yes, thank you. This is Lydia," Peter introduces us.
After a little small talk we all make our way to our seats. Once we're all seated Alicia turns to me. "She's pretty," she whispers in my ear.
I better tread carefully here. I don't know what she's looking for as a response. I can't even figure out what she's thinking right now. Yes, the Lydia is attractive, but not my type. "I hadn't noticed," I whisper back. She looks right into my eyes with raised brow.
"How could you not? She's tall, thin, has beautiful hair."
"Are you jealous?" I try to make things light, but that was the wrong thing to say, because she instantly glares at me.
"No, I just…"
"Leesh, you really need to just relax. We're all here to support Zach. You don't even have to talk to Lydia if you don't want to. But she seems nice. And Peter has just as much as right to move on as you did." She gets a curious look in her eye. Yes I'm defending Peter I want to say.
"She does, doesn't she?"
"Yes." I smile at her. She turns her gaze forward, taking my hand again as the ceremony starts.
The ceremony went well, but a little long in my opinion. We're all chatting outside the venue when I notice Zach walking towards us. Alicia seemed to relax during the ceremony, but things may change soon. I watch her as Zach gets closer, his hand entwined with a girl's. This must be Rachel, the girl that has stolen his heart. Alicia has her hesitations over the idea that Rachel and Zach are planning on moving in with each other when they move to San Francisco in a few weeks. The two have both landed good jobs in their chosen computer tech fields. I suspect, that even after we have spent some time with Zach and this girl, his mother will want to have a long talk with him about relationships, and long term commitment.
They stop right in front of all of us. "Everyone, this is Rachel," the smile on his face seems genuine. Zach introduces her to everyone. Rachel seems like a perfectly nice person, and didn't shy away when Alicia asked her a few questions. After a few more minutes, and what seems like a thousand photos have been taken, he excuses the two of them to go meet with her family. They promise to be at the restaurant on time in a few hours.
Grace has some things she wants to show Peter, so we all part for the time being. Alicia and I decide to walk Mira in the stroller around campus for awhile. She's fallen asleep, and we both know full well she'll wake up, and be cranky if we try to move her from the stroller to car seat at this point. We head in the direction of the Potomac, to walk along one of the shaded paths that runs between the river and campus. "Rachel seems nice," I say causally.
"She does," Alicia admits, continuing to walk without looking at me. "I'm just worried Zach's moving too fast. I know he's dated a great deal, and I want him to be happy, but..." Her voice trials off. She gets lost in thought again, something she's been doing a lot of since we arrived in D.C.
I put my arm around her waist as we continue to walk. I know what she's thinking, and there's no reason to voice it. She's worried Zach will rush into a marriage just like she did, and that twenty years from now he may regret that decision.
"I can't believe how much the campus has changed." I change the subject.
"It has, but what did we expect? It's been nearly twenty-five years since we were students here."
We continue along the shaded path behind the university buildings. "Why didn't you ever try to date me back then?" she asks.
Bad timing is the first thing that comes to mind. But she already knows that. She's looking for a different reason.
"I did ask you out once," I protest.
She pauses and looks at me. "You mean that time during our 1L year when you asked me to meet you at that restaurant, and I waited thirty minutes before I finally left because you never showed up?" She raises a brow to me. "That was not a date. That was supposed to be a study session."
I laugh inside because she and I definitely remember things differently. "No, I asked you if you'd like to have dinner with me. You are the one that turned it into a study date. And just for the record, you're the one who got the time wrong, not me."
"No. You are the one who got the time wrong. I am never late for anything."
I laugh out loud. "Okay, we don't need to repeat the argument we had the following day over this."
She laughs now. "We argued a lot during school didn't we?"
"I like to say we debated a lot during school. Arguing is probably a bit strong."
We continue walking. "Seriously Will, if that was supposed to be a date, why didn't you ever ask me out again?"
"What grabbing coffee before class, or pizza to keep us awake while studying didn't count?" I laugh inside, as she rolls her eyes.
"That was always nice, especially when I could barely keep my eyes open in the morning. But we haven't ever really talked about it. You're the one who said you'd been in love with me since Georgetown, so spill."
I notice a bench and lead her to it. "Things were complicated back then." I say.
"Because we were friends?"
"Yes, for one thing."
"I want to understand. We spent hours with each other. We studied together, we hung out together. You slept on my couch over night more than once."
"Why didn't you ever ask me out?" I smile, turning the tables.
"I had my reasons. But we aren't talking about me right now," she smiles, trying to contain the laughter rising in her.
I shake my head leaning forward, placing my elbows to my knees and look at her. Getting serious again I begin. "It was a lot of things. We were friends. I didn't want to screw that up. By our second year I began to realize I had genuine feelings for you. I was going to tell you so. But when we came back from the holiday break that year, and I was ready to test the waters, you got more serious with Peter." I look out at the river flowing in front of us. "The way you made me feel when I was with you…I never felt like that with anyone else. I was always happy when I was with you, even if we were "debating". But I didn't want to mess things up between you and Peter, and end up having you hate me for it later." I look back over to her. "Honestly, I thought you'd eventually break things off with him and I'd get my chance. But that never happened." I smile. "It doesn't matter now. I think we all ended up where we were supposed to be. And just think, if you hadn't married Peter you wouldn't have Zach and Grace. And I think they're two pretty great kids."
A gentle smile crosses her lips. "But then maybe you would have more children." She loves her children more than anything, all three of them, but I know sometimes she feels guilty for not being able to give me more. Not that I need or want more, and I've told her this.
I bring a hand to her chin. "You already gave me three wonderful kids. I wouldn't want it any other way."
"Okay," she responds. I place a soft kiss to her temple, and then we get up to finish our walk.
/
We're near the end of the meal when Veronica asks Zach and Rachel if they have any plans for this evening. They do have a party planned with some other graduates. This prompts Grace to ask what her parent's had done on graduation night.
Alicia and Peter exchange a quick guarded, but embarrassed look. Alicia takes a sip of her wine before speaking. "Well… your dad graduated the year before I did, but agreed to attend a party with me held by some of our friends." She looks over to Peter.
"I think Will was at that party if I'm not mistaken?" Peter adds.
"I was," I comment. "It was a lot of fun." Alicia takes my hand under the table. I could add that Peter and Alicia left that party after only an hour, and I can imagine what went on between them after that. But there is no need to bring that up.
Zach announces they need to go, ending the brief moment of awkwardness at the table.
We all get up to leave. Alicia gives Zach one last hug. "I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks mom."
She turns to Rachel. "It's been nice getting to know you. Can you come with Zach to Will's parents for dinner Sunday?" They're only an hour away, and Alicia and I are planning to spend a few days with them before heading back home.
Zach quickly looks to me. I smile and nod affirmatively. Rachel seems like a pretty great person and a good balance for Zach. Alicia must feel similar, or she wouldn't have invited Rachel to join us Sunday.
"I'd like that," Rachel replies.
Alicia congratulates Peter and Lydia one last time, and then we all leave our separate ways.
/
I put Mira to bed for the night. It wasn't really any trouble after the day we had. She was exhausted after being passed around to everyone at the dinner table. I close the door to the bedroom behind me. One of the advantages to a suite is having a separate sleeping space for Mira.
Alicia looks lost in thought again. I move quietly over to her wrapping my arms around her from behind. She reaches and takes hold of my arm, relaxing into me.
"I can't believe he's all grown up, and going to start a career in another week," she comments, continuing to stare out the window. "I was so nervous about starting at my new firm after graduation. But Zach doesn't seem worried at all to be moving across the country and getting right into the thick of it."
"I was a little nervous, but quite happy to be done with school." I add.
She nods. "I like Rachel more than I thought I would. She seems to have her head screwed on straight."
I smile leaning closer to kiss her neck. "Yes. Are you still going lecture Zach on Sunday? Have a mother son heart to heart?" She just smiles and turns to face me.
"Yes," she leans in to kiss my lips this time.
"I have a surprise for you," I say, after we pull apart, placing my hands on her waist. "I was going to wait until tomorrow to tell you, but I think now would be better."
She looks into my eyes with a hint of excitement. "You do?" She places her hands on my chest.
"I know we were supposed to drive up to see my parent's tomorrow, but I've made other plans. Grace is going to take Mira up tomorrow, and we'll join them on Sunday. I'm going to take you on that date I never had a chance to all those years ago."
She smiles. "Really? When did you make these plans? Are you sure your parents won't mind keeping Mira overnight?"
"I made arrangements about two weeks ago. They can't wait to have Mira and Grace all to themselves for one night."
She chuckles. "Yeah, we know who's really important these days don't we?"
"Yes," I respond with a little laugh. In fact my mother wanted to know if we wanted two nights away. I assured her that one would be sufficient.
"It's a date then!" She leans in and kisses me again.
Her warm body now pressed closely to mine, I intend to get rid of any lingering insecurities she was feeling earlier while we were with Peter. I allow my eyes to slowly wander over her body,
"There's that look again," she whispers, leaning in to press her lips to my neck as her hands make their way to my belt.
"I can't help it. The most beautiful woman in the world has been next to me all day." My hands reach behind her to unzip her dress.
"No." She reaches for my hands as we move towards the bed. Her hands move to my shoulders as she gently presses me to a sitting position. So this is how it's going to be tonight, she wants all the control. I'll gladly give it to her.
Her lips press more firmly to my neck moving towards my lips as she continues to help remove the remainder of my clothes. It drives me insane when she does this, and takes a great amount of self control to not remove her clothing before she's ready. Her dress still on she stands next to me placing a leg on the bed to remove her nylons… and now her panties. I'm already to go, and she knows it, but she's going to torture me for as long as she can.
A few minutes later after we've made out on the bed, I offer to help her with the zipper on her dress.
She has me sit again. "No," she whispers, as she pulls the dress up just enough so she can maneuver her legs and sink deep right onto me. This only makes me more excited. Things will last a long time tonight. The fact that she keeps the dress on for this first round probably means she's planning on a long evening of love making.
I lay breathless on top of her coming down from the high again, and look into her eyes. A broad smile across her lips, all the stress and tension from the day gone from her eyes. "I might be getting to old for this," I comment. It's been a fairly intense night we've spent in this bed, and my back is admittedly aching again.
She laughs out loud. "We're never going to be too old for this."
I gently brush back the few strands of silky hair from her face, and give her one last peck on the lips before rolling off her. The sheet wrapped around her she turns onto her elbow to face me, and begins tracing circles on my chest. We're silent for a few moments before she speaks up again.
"Will."
She sounds sad now. "Yeah," I open my eyes and look at her.
"Thank you,'
"For what?"
A gentle smile forms on her lips. "For loving me. For always making me feel wanted."
There is a lot of meaning behind those words. The thing I want most for her is that she always feel loved by me no matter the circumstances. "I'll always love you. I'll always want you." I reply.
She settles next to me, her head on my chest, my arm wrapped around her for security. I do this not only for her benefit, but for mine as well. I thought the fear and insecurity of being taken and beaten six weeks ago would go away after a few days. It did for a few weeks, but it's returned. I keep telling myself this is ridiculous, it's over, there isn't a threat anymore. I don't want to worry Alicia, but some days I feel like jumping right out of my own skin. The fear that if I don't handle a case the way a client, this client in particular, wants that it will happen again. Or even worse, that they'll take Alicia the next time. I'm supposed to be able to protect my family. Some days I'm scared stiff I won't be able to. But how do you get rid of client that could ruin your life?
I pull Alicia closer, she's already asleep. I'll do my best to push these terrifying thoughts from my mind and try to get some sleep.
A/N; I apologize for the long delay in posting again. Thank you all so much for continuing to read this one.