I pulled out my phone as I sat next to Godric.

I would wait to call or text Sookie. I couldn't let Godric know what I was planning.

"Tell me how it happened. You and Eric."

I smiled a little at his interest, but then I frowned. "One day . . . I was a complete mess. I was sure that no one could really love me because everyone shoots me down. Either I was ignored, beat, or rejected. It really doesn't feel good, even if it was for my own protection. Actually it felt a bit life a knife. But I was supposed to be with Pam, but . . . I didn't feel like crying in front of anyone. I didn't want to be alone either, but I shrugged it off." I played with my hair mindlessly. "I was crying by the time I even made it in his office. The door didn't shut, so I turned to see what was wrong and he was standing there." I smiled again and said, "The next thing I knew I was curled up crying onto his shirt on the god-awful couch. I was telling him everything . . . and he told me he loved me."

I smiled sadly, knowing I was probably never going to survive the maenad. I would never see my love again. I would never walk down the aisle and marry him. I wouldn't become a vampire and live the rest of my days with Eric . . .

But how many lives could I save if I sacrificed my own to kill the maenad that annoyingly shares my last name?

How many lives would Eric take in return for letting me die?

I knew I didn't want to know.

Ripping myself from the future, I dropped myself off in the past. "In that moment, I realized that I loved him too. I knew I loved him as a friend before that, but I had been idiotic and didn't even realize my feelings for him had grown. I was in shock, I just couldn't believe everything was really happening. In my shock, I kissed him, unsure of what to do next . . . it was—we—" Color flooded my face as that night came back loud and clear in my head.

Godric nodded with a somewhat mad and uncomfortable expression on his lovely, angelic face. "I understand."

"When I woke up I was frantic. I felt like . . . like I'd betrayed you somehow, even though it had been months . . . I ended up at Merlotte's down in Bon Temps. Sookie works there; I thought I could talk to her, but she was on her day off, which meant she was lying with Bill." I smirked and pointed over my shoulder at Tommy with my thumb. "That's when I met that ass-hat. He gave me anything I wanted. Vodka, whiskey, beer, and even some of the special stash Sam hides. Needless to say I was drunk as all get out, which trust me, is never good. I've tried to limit my drinks, yesterday as an exception."

Yesterday was a big mistake. Never, ever, ever again. The hangover was not worth it.

"Somehow, I have no idea, he's convinces a very intoxicated me into his brother's trailer behind the bar." I shook my head; I really was a whore, wasn't I? "Eric was mad, he knew what I'd done. He could smell Tommy all over me. And I was a horrible person. I just turned away from him and used sex with Tommy to cope.

"Can you believe after everything I cried and complained to him about, I was the one that brought it on myself? I was miserable again though and Tommy saw it. He told me he wanted me happy, to go to Eric. That I obviously needed Eric and I had to go to him. It took me a while to see that he was right, I just wanted to deny it. So I took off from Pam's house and ended up in Fangtasia, I went straight to his office when I saw he wasn't in his usual spot. There was a string of apologies and . . . you get it?"

"I get it." Godric leaned back in his chair. "I never would have thought with the way you used to complain about him . . ."

"Oh, I still complain. A lot. He's a big baby a times. You'd think a thousand years . . ." I laughed and shook my head.

My last laugh before I try to save Bon Temps.

Daylight. No better time to try to sneak out of a house with a two thousand year old vampire keeping an eye over you.

I pulled the door to the garage open only to have my way blocked by a huge werewolf.

"Mr. Herv—I mean, Alcide, what are you doing in my garage?"

No, no, no, no , no. I needed out of here.

Think fast.

Along with finding an excuse, I note how cute he was. Dark skin, jet black hair, dashing smile. Damn, he even had dimples. I wonder where else he has dimples . . . No! No, Iwouldn't think about another man than Eric . . . or Godric.

"Northman told me to keep watch during the day."

"Keep watch on me? Why?"

"Cause evidently, y'all got some supe problems in Bon Temps."

"I just have to run to the store . . . It really won't take long."

"Eric said you had no reason to go out. The house was fully stocked."

"He has Bobby do shopping when we're gone."

"And?"

"And there are things he doesn't get for me."

I glanced at the Corvette. No way was I taking that near a maenad.

Then there was the Lincoln. I hated that car with a passion, so did Eric. I always wander why he bought it. I drive the Camaro, he drives the Corvette.

No one wanted to touch the Lincoln with a fifty foot pole.

"What?"

"God, you are so thick! I need tampons!"

I really did. I was almost out. I would have to put that on my shopping list.

Then it hit me.

I was never going shopping again. Most likely I would be dead by tonight.

"Just let me go to the store. I'm pretty sure Eric would be pissed if I bled all over the furniture."

"Er—Uh—sure."

"Feel welcome to make yourself at home. Grab a beer or some food. Whatever. I'll be back in fifteen."

I smiled at him as I climbed into the Lincoln.

The drive to Bon Temps seemed to be the longest of my life. I knew that I was driving towards my possible death, but I couldn't just do nothing, I had to help.

It's short! I'm sorry! I'll try to make the next one longer, but I can't make any promises. I'm falling apart at the seams, that's all I can tell you and writing makes me feel better no matter how minimal it is.

Please review and make me feel a little bit better.

Thank you.