Forever
He tried to move but something wouldn't let him. He could hear voices, but they were far away and try as he would, he could never find the source of them and would end up drifting in the dark again, alone. The other, darker side took hold of him. He could feel the dark hand push him back down into the place where nothing got through. He fought as hard as he could against the darkness, but his breathing became difficult, and he was falling again. He tried to scream, but found he couldn't breathe at all. He tried to force air into his lungs, but couldn't. He knew that if he didn't breath soon he would die. He mustered all the air he had left in his lungs and tried to scream as loud as he could.
Fred sat up in the bed, the silent scream forced all the air out of his lungs. Noel jerked awake and wrapped her arms around her husband and pulled him back down on the bed. She planted soft kisses on his neck and cheek, "Facile mon amour, its ok you're safe. We're in Hawaii on our honeymoon," she felt his heart rate racing and the sweat that formed over his whole body. He had had the same nightmare almost every night since he had left the hospital. He wouldn't talk about it to anyone but her about it, but it scared her, Fred had never been scared of anything since she had met him, but what he had gone through during and after the crash had left a lasting impression on him.
As she held him another wave of pain gripped her and she began to shake and moan. Fred immediately sat up and began to rub her head and talk in a low comforting voice, "We are on the plane, you ask me to hold your nuts and I tell you I don't normally hold strangers nuts," the pain lifts ever so slightly, the grim set of her face eased and she relaxed, "I looked at you and asked you if your boyfriend wouldn't get upset if I kissed you and you asked me what made me think you had a boyfriend, I thought for a long time before I looked at you and you laughed at me. You said for someone so smart I was really stupid about women and we kissed, and my world changed forever," Noel relaxed more and the pain began to ease somewhat, her face took on a serene and peaceful look, "I remember the way you looked at me the first time we made love, the look of trust and lust that you gave me. I never felt like I was the center of someone's world before that, but that night I knew you had put your heart in my hands, and I knew that I never wanted anything more in my life than I wanted you in that moment. I wouldn't trade anything to be here with you and to know that we are together. I have and will always love you."
Noel let a slow breath out and then burrowed into Fred's arms and kissed his chest, before laying her head back down and listening to his heart beat. They had done this every time she had one of those sharp pains, he would rub her head or back and he would tell her a little story from their love story. He would talk in a low and comforting voice and the combination of the two things would help her fight the pain off. They used this to keep her from having to take the pain drugs because they left her in such a fog that she felt she would miss more of her life than it was worth.
The waves crashed into the shore outside the room that they had on the beach of Oahu. Fred had won the trip before the crash at a Pear charity event, but Mr. White had turned it into a month stay with all expenses paid. They had already been there for a week and had yet to visit the beach or anywhere else for that matter. Noel had had three, four with tonight's episode, pain attacks since they had arrived. They had checked with the doctor and found that the tumor hadn't grown in size, but masses were beginning to show up in other parts of her body. She still appeared to have a year to a year and a half left. They both knew that she really only had about half that much left, because in the final stages most patients became bedridden and lapsed into comas long before the end, not all but most.
"Fred, what happened to you when you died?" Noel asked him as she took in his scent and rubbed his chest hair in small circles with her left hand, "I'm scared, and I want to know what happened to you."
Fred ran his hand through her hair and kissed the top of her head, "The first time, on the mountain, it was like someone had wrapped me in a warm blanket, the bitter cold just left me and I felt this… this… sense of peace wash over me, that everything was going to be fine and then the pain just left me. I felt free and comfortable, like all the worries in my life were being lifted from me, and don't think I'm crazy, but I could swear that I heard my mom singing to me, some song that she used to sing when I was little, and then she told me that it wasn't quite time for me yet and to "not let go just yet", and then I felt this sharp pain, and I was back on board this helicopter. I never felt scared of upset, I actually was more upset about having to leave where I was to come back and feel the pain," he wrapped both arms around her and pulled her into a deep passionate kiss. She returned the passion and they began roll around on the bed.
Noel felt his hand slowly work its way down her body, till it stopped on her left breast, his fingers twirling her nipple around very softly. She moaned in his mouth and reached down and grabbed his manhood and began to stroke it slowly. Soon they were both lost in each other's bodies and the rest of the world drifted away in the sounds and feelings of their love making.
They awoke early and made love once again, slowly, letting the waves of pleasure wash over them, enjoying the feel of each other's bodies and the private, intimate touch that they gave to each other. Fred found himself able to forget the struggle he had gone through during his recovery.
Flashback
He had comedown off the great high he had when the girls had been allowed in to see him, and he was hurting bad now. He had fallen asleep and had woken up in the coolness of the darkened room in pain. He had begun to cough and the pain increased. He could feel the blood splay from his lips. The lung was supposed to be working right, but he could tell something was wrong. He couldn't breathe, the coughs were taking all his air and he had to fight just to catch one breath. He couldn't yell out and try as he might he couldn't find the call button to get a nurse into the room.
The darkness and the voice returned, the one that had been with him since the mountain, was back, "You're dying, the coughs are tearing the over sow on the lung and it's deflating again. The blood from your lips should tell you that. I had you once on the mountain and a least twice here before now, do you think you can keep pushing me away forever. Fred, I'm part of life, from the moment you were born you've been rushing to me, whether you know it or not. I promise you, all the fear, the worry, it's not necessary, I'm not a bogeyman, and I'm not here to take you yet, but I am here to remind you that I'm here and that I'll be back soon for someone else. You'll have vague memories of our talk, but you'll never be able to recall all of it and never remember that we talked like this, until the time is right. After the next surgery, you're going to improve at a rapid pace and get to go home, but I'm not leaving you yet. I can't tell you why, but know this, make everyday count, because they will drop away like leaves in the fall. Enjoy each other for the time you have. I was with your mother and I walked her to the other side. She was proud of the man you have become and she loved you more than she could ever say. She wants you to know that and to keep moving on, no matter what. Reach your left hand out one more time and you'll find the call button.
End flashback
He laid there as she slept again and rubbed small circles on Noel's back. He wanted to freeze this moment and hold on to it forever. Just stay in the moment and make reality go away. They needed more time with each other, time to have children together and to watch them grow, time to grow old together and remain at each other's side till they died of old age.
They spent the month walking on the beach and just basking in the joy of each other. Noel had three more bad pain attacks while they were there, and each time Fred held her and told her stories of their love affair while rubbing either her head, back, or stomach. Each time the pain came it was a little stronger and stayed longer. He could feel her slowly drifting away from him and it scared him. He wasn't sure if he could take losing her, she had insinuated herself into his life and heart so quickly and so strongly, that he couldn't imagine his life without her.
They returned from the honeymoon and moved themselves into the small house that Pear Corporation had helped them get. It was ten minutes from the campus and had a very cozy feel about it. Domestic life suited them both well and they set about making a home out of the little house.
They were in bed cuddling just a one day shy of the anniversary of their first meeting when Noel doubled over in pain and began to scream. Fred quickly began to rub her stomach and talking in his low calm tone, "We are walking through the park holding hands, and the soft drizzle of rain makes it just a little chilly. My hand is wrapped up in yours and you laid your head on my shoulder. We said nothing, we just walked slowly. We came to that little grove of trees and you pulled me into them and we began to kiss. Before I knew it we were making love in that grove. We never said a word, a few moans and groans and very heavy breathing, but not any other sound. I never told you this, and I know it sounds weird, but that time felt like some kind of religious experience to me. I always thought that you were my angel, sent to make me a better man, and that that time was proof of that," she seemed to calm down and finally lost the pained look on her face, "That was a real bad one wasn't it?"
"The worst so far," Noel nodded her head, "Fred I'm scared, I don't want to die."
"I don't want you to either," Fred rubbed her stomach, "I was scared on that mountain and in the hospital, but like I told you it was peaceful, once I made peace with death. I was at the point where I could have gone either way, but I remember, vaguely, death talking to me once and telling me not to be afraid, that he was part of life and that it was a good thing when your time comes. When I made peace with it, death wasn't so bad or scary as it seems. I know it sounds crazy, but the nightmares I have aren't about death itself, but of the pain and not being able to hear or interact with people."
"It doesn't sound crazy," she smiled at him, "How did you make peace with it?"
"I discovered that it would happen no matter what, so I listened to the voice and just let go, I know that that sounds weird, but that was it, I had no choice in the matter," he said.
"I guess you're right about that," Noel looked him in the eye, "When the time comes Fred, I need you to let me know you're going to be ok and can let me go, I'll try to hold on till then. Please promise me that you won't crawl into your shell after I'm gone. Take a few months, but then go back out into the world. Lean on your friends, especially Sam. Let her help you because she loves you almost as much as me, maybe more since she's known you so long. Promise me that you won't spend the rest of your life alone, you're too young for that."
"I'll try Mon amour, I will try, but it won't be easy," he told her, "off the subject, do you know why Carly and Sam want us to come over tomorrow night?"
"I have no clue," she smiled at him, "but they sure were adamant about it."
"That's what scares me," he laughed.
Fred and Noel arrived at Sam and Carly's apartment just a little before seven, Fred despised being late, and knocked softly on the door.
"Who is it?" Sam shouted from the back of the apartment, clearly a little put out.
"It's Noel and me," Fred shouted, "You said to meet you here at seven, remember?"
"And what time is it now?" Sam's tone was clearly that of someone who was pissed about something.
"Six-fifty," Fred tried to sound sweet and kind in the reply.
"Right, and six-fifty isn't seven is it jackass?" Sam said as if she were ready to strangle him through the door, "You'll have to use your key, unless you want Carly or me to come open the door nude … you're a married man and perverted for even thinking what you just thought. Just let your selves in."
As soon as the door opened a wall of "Happy Anniversary" sound stunned Fred. Noel wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and hugged him as hard as she could, "It was one year ago today that we met amour de ma vie. And I just had to have a party to celebrate it," Carly and Sam stood in front of them as Noel talked, "Did we surprise you?"
"Yes you did," Fred smiled and then looked at Sam, "I thought you were about to kill me, you really sounded mad."
"I found an old picture of Dean and pretended it was him at the door," Sam smiled and produced said producing said photo and ripping it to shreds.
"Work very well," Fred grinned, "I almost turned around and left."
"Well enter stud," Carly said with just a slight slur of words, "and let's celebrate the day you made Noel want to jump… (Hiccup)… (Loud and Makers Mark smelling burp)… your huge "bone" of manhood," she smiled and Noel noticed that Carly's tongue was orange.
"Carly how many Jell-O squares have you had?" Noel asked, trying not to laugh.
"Oh, about six or seven, I wanted to…(Hiccup)… get somefing, someding, I mean something on my stomach before I darted shrinking, the first two weren't very good, but the rest of them were gucking frate. I think I'm ready for a cocktail now. Why did they call it that? It sounds dirty, like you wand a pecker up your ass instead of a drink…(Hiccup)… ew… that tasted better going down than it did coming back up."
The three of them were thunderstruck at how well "lubed" Carly was. They tried not to laugh, but couldn't help it. Sam took Carly's left arm and Fred her right and walked her to the kitchen.
"Gary Sirers, you hottie, you still got that crouch rash, cause if you don't you want poke the pie for me tonight, oh that's right, you're into Drake aren't you? No worries, I'll never tell a soul," Carly whispered like she was in a wind tunnel, everyone in the building could have heard.
"Christ Carly," Gary looked at her red-faced as the girl he came with got up and stormed off, "I can't believe you "outted" in front of the whole room," Gary spun around and started to leave as Drake came up to him and planted a very passionate kiss on him, "I've wanted to hear that you wanted me every since I met you, but I never dreamed you would really want me like that," Drake then ran his hand down and squeezed Gary's ass as Gary kissed Drake's neck.
"This is seriously going to be one fucked up, off the hook party," Fred said to Sam as he laughed.
"Stories will be told in years to come of this night," Sam laughed as she began to pull Carly toward the kitchen again, "Come on Jell-o queen, we got to sober you up some before you start a war."
"Ok doekay," Carly laughed, "Oh hey Sue, you still seeing Todd's friend Ted on the side?"
"What?" Todd yelled and turned around to a white faced Sue and a red faced and equally stunned Ted, "You two been seeing each other behind my back? You piece of shit," Todd swung and connected his right fist with Ted's left jaw and was about to pounce on him again when Noel grabbed his fist.
"All three of you," Noel was livid, Fred thought he could see the smoke coming out of her ears, "get the fuck out of here, NOW! Hey rump and humper," she yelled at Gary and Drake, breaking them out of the full blown make out session they were in, "I'm not one to stand in the way of true love, but get a fucking room and get the hell out of here. As for the rest of you, I wanted to have this party to celebrate the day I met my husband and to celebrate your love, and if I have to kill everyone in this place, we're going to celebrate shit out of our fucking love and there better not be any more problems! You may now continue with the festivities."
"Far fucking out," Carly said in the silence that Noel's outburst had caused, "you put the smack down on that shit. Don't fuck with the queen," Carly turned green, "oh shit whirlies, yesterdays meat loaf is today's yack."
Carly made a mad dash for the trash can and hurled a very colorful array of food items in various states of digestion. The poor man that stood at the food table with the chips and salsa plate, sat it down and walked up and joined Carly at the trash can and emptied his stomach as well.
Sam looked at her watch and then smiled at Fred as Noel walked up to them and wrapped her arms around his waist, "Seven-twenty-two," she said slowly, "Party has been officially going for twenty-two minutes and we've had a fight, an "outing", and two people have thrown up, FUCKING EPIC!"
The three of them laughed till it hurt. After the stunning opening, the party settled into a very nice even flow. Sam made sure that everyone was having fun and that "drama" was kept to a minimum. Sam found that she had become protective of Noel. She had never been that close to her own sister, but she felt a connection with Noel that ran deep. Maybe it was the fact that they both loved Freddie, or maybe because they thought so much alike, but Sam had found in her a kindred spirit. She had even found, with Noel's help, a new found love of some of the "girly" things that had always made her sick and disgusted when she was younger.
She watched the newlyweds as they talked to people and as they danced. She noticed the slight decline in Noel's health and stamina, she had been with them one night when Noel had one of her pain attacks, and it scared her. Sam had been amazed at the way Freddie had helped her fight through the pain. His voice was so calming and hypnotic; it had made her feel pride that her best friend, and first and only true love, could do something so magical. She saw the unbelievable love for Noel that poured from his eyes and she worried what would happen when Noel passed.
At the moment the happy couple was at the food table. Sam smiled her devious smile as she noticed that Noel was loading Freddie's plate down with "Nucking Futs" hot sauce. It had very little smell but was like setting fire to your tongue. The only way to stop the burn was eating a banana. This was going to be good. Noel looked up and caught Sam's eye and wicked at her as she shook two more drops on the meatballs on his plate. Somewhere at birth, Sam was sure that Noel and Melanie had had been switched at birth and Noel was her true sister.
The couple walked up to her and sat their plates down, "How's Carly doing?" Fred asked Sam as she took a bite of the meatballs on her plate, "She behaving herself?"
Sam chewed and pointed to the dance floor, "The yack twins are now dancing happily, if a bit unsteady," they looked to see the couple dancing in some kind of weird triangle dance step that just barely kept the two of them from falling into the other people in the dance area.
"I still can't believe she didn't know about Jell-O shooters," Noel laughed, watching with interest as Fred stabbed a meatball with his fork.
"Well she may not have thought the ones she was eating were filled with booze," Sam grinned and looked at the floor.
"Jesus Sam," Fred laughed, "Carly might actually do bodily harm for the first time in her life if she finds out you did that."
"Well I guess it was mean, but I didn't make her eat seven of the damn things," Sam chuckled as the three of them turned back around to their plates.
Noel and Sam grinned as Freddie re-stabbed one of the meatballs and popped it in his mouth and began to chew. He began to look strange and seemed to be looking for a drink as Sam and Noel popped one in their mouths and started chewing.
"In about seven seconds you ladies are going to need these," Fred smirked and held out two bananas for them to take, "Growing up with Sam taught me to always keep your eyes open for tricks like that Mon bébé, but nice try."
The two women almost immediately felt the massive heat of the sauce. In less than a second tears began running down their cheeks, sweat popped up on their foreheads and began to pop up all over their faces. They couldn't speak, but they shot Fred death glares as they grabbed the bananas and pealed them and began to eat in a quest to put the fire in their mouths and throat. Fred laughed as quietly as possible as he saw from their faces and eyes that the banana had begun to work.
"Dude, that wasn't funny at all," Sam snapped at him as she chewed on the banana.
"Fred, mon amour, je peux avoir enterrer mon pied dans votre âne," Noel put the death stare on him.
"Ladies, I grew up with Sam," Fred laughed and picked a nacho chip, "You got to know it takes a lot to slip one by me."
Fred took a huge bite of the nacho chip and thought he had bitten into a hot coal as sweat broke out on his forehead and upper lip.
Both women produced bananas and said at the same time, "You were saying your highness? You're right; we could never pull a prank on you."
Fred chewed on the banana Noel offered him and flashed his "evil eye" at both women as they finally broke into huge waves of laughter.
"First rule of "Prank Club", never talk about "Prank Club", second rule of "Prank Club", always double your chances of success," Sam smiled and wicked at Noel, who grinned back at her.
Sometime after nine-thirty, Sam stood on the couch and got everyone's attention, "Alright everyone, time for a couples dance," Sam smiled at Freddie and Noel, "and the couple who will dance first is Noel and Freddie Benson."
The two of them walked out to the impromptu dance floor (the living room floor), and Sam put a cd in a then turned to the crowd,
"The lady has picked the song "Forever" by Queen, enjoy," Sam pointed to the couple.
A haunting melody began to play (please search for and listen t the queen song, "Who wants to live Forever" while reading this)
Fred knew the song the instant it began to play. Noel laid her head on Fred's chest as his arms encircled her waist and pulled her near, and for a moment the whole world just went away and it was just the two of them.
There's no time for us.
There's no place for us.
What is this thing that builds our dreams,
Yet slips away from us?
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Ooh.
They danced like magic together. Sam felt a tear stream down her cheek as she watched them. Noel looked up at Fred and silently thanked God for sending this man into her life. She felt at peace for the first time in a long time.
There's no chance for us.
It's all decided for us.
This world has only one sweet moment,
Set aside for us.
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Ooh.
Who dares to love forever?
Oh, when love must die?
Fred leaned down and kissed Noel gently. They both felt the heat of the kiss all over their bodies. Fred felt like this is were he was supposed to be and who he was be with. Noel had very quickly taken over his heart.
Then touch my tears with your lips.
Touch my whole world with your fingertips.
And we can have forever!
And we can love forever!
Forever is our today.
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today.
Who waits forever anyway?
The song ended, but they continued dance, slowly. No one made a sound; they just watched the couple as they moved together and kissed. When they stopped kissing for a second to catch their breaths, was when the unmistakable sound of "drunken" Carly shattered the quiet, "No, no, no, no I don't want cocktail weenies, I want the whole salami, one like Fred has in his pants… (Hiccup…burp…and one fart)… "Oh shit, I'm so sorry about that, that's never happened before, at least not at the same time, I twink I'ub twitfaced. I talk good most of the time, so…," Carly didn't finish the profound statement because she passed out and landed face first in the "spiked" punch bowl.
"And Shay goes down," Fred laughed, "Down goes Shay. Puckett what would you say was the point in the fight that she lost real hope of winning?"
"Benson if I had my guess," Sam laughed as she and Fred pulled Carly out of the punch, "I'd say somewhere around Jell-o shooter number four."
Fred picked her up and took her to her room, laid her on her bed. Noel and Sam came in as he was leaving and changed her into her nightie and tucked her in for the night and locked her in her room, so no one could sneak in and do anything to her while she was out cold. After all of that "drama" ended, the party ended around twelve, and the epic task of cleanup began.
After almost an hour and a half the apartment was clean and looked great. Sam went to her room and Fred and Noel took their old room for the night, since they had decided not to go back home.
Noel woke up at four-thirty in the morning in blinding pain. Fred sat up began to trace slow circles over her stomach and talked slow, "We were in that old farm house with the tin roof and it raining. We made love to the sounds of the roof and the water. You said it was the best sex you ever had. The next day we went and rented the tandem bicycle and just rode through the country. That was the day I knew that I couldn't live without you."
Noel seemed to relax, but began to cough. The cough sounded like it came from her toes it was so loud. It rattled her small body. Then Fred saw the blood in the tissues, he yelled at Sam and Carly, "Sam call 9- 1- 1, Carly get me as many towels as you can find. Hang en là mon amour, l'aide est sur le chemin Hang en là mon amour, l'aide est sur le chemin. Just hold on baby, I'm here, right beside you," Fred told his wife.
Yeah I know, I suck leaving this chapter like this, but had to do it. We still several chapters to go, so please hold on, I'll try my best to make it worth your while to hang with this story.
Special shouts out to some friends:
Pigwiz, any of her stories is a great read
Twowritehands, the same goes for them
SamanthaNicoleT and her fantastic story, iMade a huge mistake
eleanorr1gby "The ballad of Sam and Freddie
Jamizp2433 Sam's journey
Just look at my favored stories and check these and more out