I couldn't stop staring at my two best friends, sitting on the long couch, passing a joint to each other. This isn't the first time I've seen them smoke weed. It wasn't going to be the last either. And, honestly, the act of them smoking, didn't bother me. It was the fact that they were doing this in a house of a man on probation on a drug charge. If his probation officer cam by, or if a neighbor complained about the smoke, Kendall would go to jail. How either of them, even Kendall, could be so blasé about the situation irritated me. But I don't think I was ever going to say that to them. They were all grown up. They knew the consequences of their actions. But I wasn't the type of person to let someone I care about get in trouble. I wasn't called a goody good in high school for nothing. "Shit…Logan is the smoke bothering you?" I locked eyes with James who waved smoke away from his head as he leaned forward and passed the joint back to Carlos who looked like he was seconds away from falling asleep. I shook my head and looked back to the mind-numbing action movie they had put on not 20 minutes ago. "Okay…would you like some then?" I glanced back to him and watched him double over and start laughing hard falling to his side, clutching onto his stomach. "I'm sorry…I'm not laughing at you. I'm really hungry and remembered that time we went to Denny's after one of our hockey games and built that French fry fort!" He was laughing hard now, which was making Carlos laugh and I couldn't help but smile back at my idiot friends who were beyond stoned. I looked back to the TV snuggling deeper under my blanket and onto my pillow sighing out. "Fuck I'm hungry…I'm gonna make nachos. You guys want some?" I looked up fast watching James stand, and almost fall over. I quickly jumped up gently push him back down onto the couch and threw my blanket over him shaking my head.

"I'll make them. Just don't try to get up." He only responded by humming softly and I pushed the sleeves up on my too big sweater walking into the dark kitchen.

Because I'm a good friend I made really cheesy, meaty, and delicious nachos with extra toppings like jalapenos, and guacamole and sour cream. I baked them in the over long enough to melt all the chees and carefully scooped the hot chips onto three separate plates. I took Carlos and James out to them first and made sure they were sitting up to eat before I went back to get mine. As I grabbed mine, I opened the fridge and reached in for a soda but stopped. Next to the soda cans were bottles of beer and because I have had a shit day, I decided to have one.

When I walked back out to the guys, I pushed them apart a little and sat between them handing my beer to James to open. When he did, I titled it back into my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut, letting the very smooth liquid go down my throat. When I lowered it, the beer halfway gone, I set it on the coffee table, and pulled my blanket James was under, over me and sat back sighing, putting a hot cheesy chip into my mouth. I could tell both Carlos and James were looking at me, but I ignored them. I chewed quietly looking up at the TV and sort of leaned into James, lying my head on his shoulder, feeling Carlos do the same to me. We sat in relative silence. I would occasionally ask a question about the movie and get a short, informative answer back from one of them. By the time the movie was done, I was four beers in, and all the nachos were gone. I was sleepy and groaned quietly as Carlos started to go through the movies on Netflix, knowing when they said movie marathon, they meant marathon. "I'm sleepy…" I gave my best puppy eyes I could muster in my drunk state and looked at Carlos who only laughed and sat up slowly.

"You can go sleep in Kendall's bed. I know he'll like to come home to that." I smiled big turning to James who stood up stretching his arms over his head. "You think you can walk?"

"Of course." I said it through a grin and shoved the blanket off my body putting my feet on the ground. I pushed myself up off the couch and thankfully James was standing next to me, because I nearly pushed myself into the coffee table in front of me. He wrapped around me fast and scooped me up easily, letting me tuck myself in, under his chin. "Told you I could walk." I heard two different people laugh as I yawned loudly, and James started walking.

"You're such a light weight Logan."

"Shutupjerk." I know my speech was slurred. Because I was drunk and super tired. He didn't seem to mind. He simply walked me into Kendall's room and gently laid me on the bed taking my pheon out of my sweater pocket for me. I felt my eyes closing and knew I would be asleep within seconds and fell asleep hearing James tell me good night.

I was having a very odd dream. It was something about lying in Kendall's bed and feeling someone touching me. It wasn't a bad dream, and it wasn't a good dream. It was just a weird feeling that started to wake me up. As my eyes opened, I blinked a couple times seeing a light on overhead and felt something being tugged out from under me. I raised my head and turned it, smiling small. Kendall was almost completely nude, just in a pair of boxers. And he was trying desperately to get the blanket out form under me. "Hey baby." He looked up and smiled wide leaning in fast. He attached his lips to my hard and gently started to push me back, onto my back. I set one hand on his neck while the other went to his shoulder and I pushed gently. "How was work?"

"Fine." He started to trail his lips down my neck and I glanced over to the alarm clock frowning. It was only 2:30 in the morning.

"How come your home early?"

"Slow night…I was off at midnight but a few of my coworkers were going out for a birthday party and I went with them." I nodded running my hand up through his hair and sort of pushed his head up making him look at me. He still had that wide smile on his face that made my heart race. He went to lean back into my again, but I stopped him by putting a hand on his lips.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" His smile faded under my fingers and he slowly pushed off me sitting up. "You look…I don't know…different." I sat up slowly and frowned seeing him smiling again, looking down to my crotch. I sighed putting my hands up on his face and made him lock eyes with me again. "Are you high?" He laughed out and pushed into me, sort of rough, sending me back to my back on the bed. I turned away from his lips and let him start to suck on my neck. "Kendall…stop for a minute…"

"Baby I'm really horny." He whispered it into my skin and I closed my eyes as one of his hands pushed into my sweats and grabbed ahold of my flaccid dick.

"Did you get high when you got home?"

"Not when I got home…" His voice trailed off as he sat back up and started to tug at his boxers. I sat up fast and sat back pushing away from him. He sighed sitting back on his feet and stroked himself under his boxers. "The party got pretty nuts. Someone had Ex, and I took a few." I deflated a little and pulled my legs up to my chest wrapping around them. "I'm really horny Loges…"

"I don't want to have sex with you when your high Kendall." He groaned out leaning forward and nudged my head with his, knocking my head to the side. He started to push my legs apart and I quickly shoved him off me and shook my head. "I don't want to do this right now Kendall."

"You are always ready to fuck. What gives?" I scoffed, laughing quietly and started to get off the bed. "Is it because I'm high? That's why you don't want to do this? Cause that's pretty fucking weak." I froze staring at him, giving him, a very disbelieved look and he shook his head climbing off his bed. "Just one time, I wish you would lighten up." I sat back slowly and watched him walk into his bathroom turning on the light. "I would offer you some E, but I already know the answer to that." I looked away from him fast and started to crawl off the bed. I walked to my duffle on his desk and quickly shoved my scrubs into it zipping it fast. "Are you leaving?" I put my strap over my shoulder and turned seeing him leaning against his doorframe of his bathroom, looking at me.

"Well I wouldn't want to harshen your buzz Kendall." He laughed looking down and I stepped into my shoes hard bending slightly to pull them on completely. "I hope you remember everything you said to me just now. Because I will. And I hope you wake up tomorrow feeling like an asshole because you are one." I made a move to go to his closed bedroom door and he got in front of me quick. He put his hands on my arms and glared down at me. "Let me go."

"Don't be such a fucking pussy Logan. You act like I'm shooting up or snorting coke. Just relax." I shoved off him hard and rushed to his door biting my bottom lip, hoping James and Carlos were asleep, so they didn't see me crying.

I got into the safety of my car and cried out hard. I didn't put the key in the ignition or make any movements. I just sat there, thinking about the past 24 plus hours of my life, and felt like someone, somewhere in the universe, was fucking with me. They were watching everything around me fall apart and laughing about it. Between my professor, my mom and now my douche bag boyfriend, I didn't think I could handle much more. I didn't think I would be able to handle one shittier thing that happened to me because it might make me loose my damn mind. All I could hear him say is that he wished I would lighten up. I couldn't tell if that was something he only said because he was high, or if he genuinely meant it. I'd like to think it was only because he was high but just like I thought earlier, we had nothing in common. He liked to take E and get high. I liked to snuggle and watch romcoms. What the hell was I doing with him?

As I pulled out of his apartment complex something occurred to me. If I wanted to be with him, like I continuously told myself I did, maybe I should head his advice, and lighten up. How I would do that, I wasn't sure. But when I parked near my dorm building I felt a vibration from my phone and pulled it out of my pocket, having no other choice but to smile seeing Matt's name. He was calling me. At 2:30 in the morning. I quickly answered it and sat back, turning my car off. "Hello?"

"Hey tiny one! What you up too?" I snorted hearing loud music on his end and glanced around the dark campus.

"Not much Shrek. Just getting back to my dorm."

"Nice! You want to hang out?" I frowned slouching a bit and felt my anger rising again.

"I'm not really having a good night and I don't' really feel like hanging out with someone who is going to give me pity so…"

"Damn dude…I was just inviting you to this club I'm at that I can get you in, even though you're not 21. I thought it would be fun to get drunk and fuck around but if you don't want to, no stress." I closed my eyes putting my head back hearing someone yell on his end. "Never mind Logan I'll let you go…"

"Wait." I heard him sigh as I raised my head and smiled small. "Can I bring my friend Steven?"

"Hell, yeah dude." I quickly got out of my car and put my keys into my sweat pockets walking up to my dorm building. "I'll text you the address of the club. Let me know when you guys get here."

"Will do. Thanks Shrek."

"See you soon Tiny One!"