Chapter 12: Choices
Evelyn's POV:
The three of us girls descended the stairs, our steps clunking horrendously on the wood steps below us. Our arms felt weary as we could barely lift them to flick our suitcases to the ground below, and our steps were taken as if lead cinder blocks were attached to our ankles. We were quick to hop on the train and head home, for another long summer away from each other. Sure we would miss some of the classes, but we missed each other most of all.
As my eyes trailed over to the sun that shone brightly through the common room windows, and illuminated up the room, I couldn't wait to leave. I was already starting to imagine the long days I would spend outside reading, or inside practicing my gymnastics. Even James and I would stay up late every night playing 'Wizerding' chess, or just chatting away. Maria and I would spend time in the kitchen, cooking up a storm for when Sirius and Remus finally came to visit us. My nose was already tingling with the smells that would come out of that kitchen. And when the temperature was really hot, all of us, even Sirius or Remus, would all go down to the lake and spend our time refreshing ourselves in the waters there. I would probably also send some owls up to Lily and Alice, where ever they were traveling to in the world that summer.
"I've probably asked you this before – but where are you going this summer, Alice?" I questioned, trying to pull all of our attention away from the ticking clock.
"France. I'm so excited! I'll make sure you get you guys some good souvenirs. Unlike this years – those were plain awful. You don't even have to lie about it." Alice giggled, collapsing her head back against the cushions.
Lily and I shared quick glances, knowing that we had thrown those gifts away the day after we had received them; but if Alice said that they weren't worth keeping, then it surely was okay to throw them out. But only if Alice said so.
The two of us cut our staring contest and, my head whirled around the room, taking in the last minute memories of the place. I wouldn't be coming back until next year; who knows what will have changed. After all, something always changes in a school like Hogwarts; whether it was a new teacher, or a new picture that was added to the walls. Something always changed: yet it still held that positive, warmth whenever you say it. And just like year before, that same old tradition of the sorting hat would welcome us through the doors.
Maybe it will be me that has changed? Coming back this year had been different, for sure. My outlook on life was different then it had been years previous. All that growing up during the summer had made me notice different things about everything; the people around me, the teachers, the school work. I found myself, sitting more alone this year than the years before because I constantly felt claustrophobic when I was with people. Lily and I, and even Alice, didn't share that same connection we had; it wasn't as strong. Though, my relationship with my brother and his friends had.
"Hanging out with your brother again, Eve?" Lily snapped me away from my thoughts, and I turned my head over towards her with a smile.
"Yup. I'll be sure to pass along your love every day, Lily. Don't you worry about a thing." I winked at her, and watched her face grow plump and red like a tomato.
"That's not what I meant."
Alice intervened in the conversation, "We just meant we don't want you coming back acting like a prevent. Merlin knows it took you forever to shake off those crappy phrases you repeated earlier in the year."
"Hey! – Those were funny." I defended, raising my arms in front of my chest. Alice and Lily merely laughed at me and shook their heads.
"No they weren't."
"Fine – but you'll miss them when I'm gone."
The three of us fell into a silence, as we looked at each other with soft smiles. Then all of us gathered into a group and gave each other big hugs.
"I'm going to miss you, guys! Three months is a long time to be away," whined Alice.
Lily, the ever consoling one, responded. "It's not that far. You just have a great time in France, and it will pass really fast. When you come back, you'll be like 'that was too short.'"
"Yeah. Just have a good time, and buy us something useful this time." I grabbed onto her cheeks and spread them out, stretching Alice's face along with it. I was quick to let go when she tried to reach across and lick me.
"Well you guys have good summer's as well! You'll have to come back and tell me lots of stories!"
"Certainly – though, I don't think I'll have many. It's just me and my parents this year, because Petunia probably out with that whale of a man Vernon. They've been pretty steady since this winter break." Lily sighed, and I was quick to catch the slight tone of relief as she said that.
"I'm sure I'll have something good when I come back. Knowing James, we're bound to get into a lot of trouble." I snickered, remembering the kitchen incident last year that had Maria shouting at us for the rest of the week.
"Munchkin! We're saying goodbye now, because we're being whisked away the moment the train the station." Fabien gathered me up in his arms and wrapped me in close as shouted out so that the world could hear him. I reciprocated his hug and held onto him as my feet were lifted from the ground.
"You've had her long enough, Fabien. Hand her over." Gideon teased, and I was passed from one twin to the other. My heart beat frantically in my chest as I gave Gideon his hug, and once I was steady on my feet, I let go like I was being burned.
Ducking my head so that I could get rid of my ever growing blush I responded, "Are you going anywhere special?"
"Us? No-"
"-Just being with-"
"Family. You?"
"Same. Make sure you send owls this summer! I was really disappointed you didn't last year, so you better not forget this time!" I snapped, giving both of them a quick punch for their mistakes. The two began to rub at their stomachs as if I had really hurt them.
"We-"
"Won't."
I found myself trying not to look over at Gideon as they both took their seats in the compartment with them. Every time he touched me that area lit up like a wild bush fire and I was left with the guilty feeling afterward. Edging away from them I scooted close to Alice, and rested my head on her lap to make it look like I was tired, and not trying to get away from Gideon's forever touching hands. Alice began to run her hands through my hair and rub my scalp, that could feel my awareness of the compartment slowly fade.
When I woke up I was left alone, my head resting gently on Lily's bunched up sweater. I looked around wearily until a voice broke through my confusion.
"They'll be back soon." Gideon noted, looking up from the window. "They went to get some things from the dinning compartment. You didn't want anything right?"
"I'm good… thanks."
The compartment fell quiet again, and I delicately sat up until I was facing the window as well. I fixed up my hair and stood for a moment to fix my shirt as well. As I sat back down, I removed the bunch up sweater and folded it up so that it could rest on the seat better. With nothing left to do, I began to pick at the skin by my fingernails. Do I tell him and risk rejection or worse, the destruction of our friendship? Or do I wait and never reveal anything? If I don't say anything, the best hope is that this is just a phase and that I'll get over it really quick… the worst, is that I'll eventually see him get married.
"Gideon," "Eve," we spoke at the same time, and the tension was cut by our quiet laughter.
"You first, Eve." Gideon gestured over to me, pushing the conversation in my direction.
Gulping back the thick knot that formed in my throat, and taking a deep breath, I gathered up what was left of my courage and quickly spoke. "I'm in love with you."
Gideon fell quiet, and I looked down quickly avoided his oncoming eyes. "As in friends, right?"
"No – I mean, yes…. But, no – I also love you like you love Claire. And I understand that you are with Claire and I don't expect you to make any decisions. I just thought you should know… that's all."
"You thought I should know?" Gideon whispered, not quite believing what I was saying.
"I've already made the decision that I'm not going to interfere with your relationship. I already know that I would lose out the Claire, in that category … So you don't have to make any decisions. I've made that choice for you, so don't worry."
"I see… I don't think I'm following, Evelyn." Gideon responded back, his voice not going over anything but a whisper.
Roughly sighing I tugged at my hair and then clarified, "We're still friends, Gideon. I'm just telling you because it was bugging me, but you don't get to do anything about it. The decision has already been taking for you – by me."
"Oh." Gideon fell silent again, and I blinked my eyes shut several times to hold back whatever wanted to come up. Why couldn't the guys come back now? What's taking them forever? "If you had told me a year ago, I would have chosen you." Gideon stated. I gulped back that tears that wanted to pour out my eyes, and I looked back over at him, even though it was killing me.
"It's fine Gideon. I'll move on, it doesn't matter. We're friends. Let's not let this come between us, you know?"
"Okay." Gideon whispered, and I turned around to face the door, hoping that somebody would soon come and save this awkward moment. My prayers were answered when I saw Fabien, Lily and Alice towards the back of the hall. "I really would have chosen you, though."