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Authornote: Friday February 17 2017
Hello everyone!
This chapter was incredibly fun to write. :) I hope everyone enjoys it! Updated a bit early because I'm working extra long hours tomorrow and will not have time to do the update.
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Thank you very much for the reviews! :D Reviews are always greatly appreciated. :D
Waterwomen1414-Yes, that stablehand is indeed very lucky that The Postman was not a real Gerudo. Things would have gone downhill very fast for anyone who would dare lay a hand on a Gerudo lol
Reiz16-Yeah, that stablehand definitely had that coming lol
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There are 5 parts to The Postman series and chapters will be between 4000-7000 words. Updates will be on Wednesdays and Fridays.
To anyone that didn't read the original version of this story, this series kind of merges all the different Zelda universes into one. In this story there is only one legendary hero that was singlehandedly responsible for saving Hyrule on multiple occasions. This story assumes all Zelda adventures happened within the same timeframe.
Thank you very much for the reviews, they're always greatly appreciated. Please let me know any feedback, suggestions or criticisms you might have.
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How to be a Villain
Part 2 Chapter 6
Kooloo Limpah
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The Postman had gone to the small Clocktown market in town square, and bought himself a fairly large lunch, having missed the mild non-spicy Terminian foods. The townspeople were openly curious and afraid of him, most giving him dirty looks as he passed, suspicious of his motives. He tried to ignore the attention directed at him, and simply paid for his purchases without drawing too much attention to himself.
Deciding to get Adena and the other Gerudo Iris a thank you present for all they'd done, The Postman entered a candy shop and bought a large assortment of Terminian sweets. Sweets were not very common in Gerudo territory, and he knew Adena normally catalogue ordered large boxes of candy. Now that he was no longer a postman, he doubted she'd be getting her orders anymore.
The Postman then left the market to head back to the inn, fully intending on hiding there until morning. On his way back, he passed by the stables, and then paused a second, looking inside.
Nightmare was just standing in the middle of the stables, not in a stall or being tended to. His saddle was still on, and he didn't even look like anyone had bothered with him. Frowning, The Postman pushed open the door and approached to check on the horse. Nightmare seemed fine as he looked him over, and he stroked its muzzle, wondering why the horse was out by itself. As he pondered this, a loud groan sounded from one of the stalls and he peered in curiously.
The stablehand was laying sprawled in the hay, moaning and holding onto his leg in agony. He looked up and saw The Postman, and then gave him a furious look.
"Your stupid horse broke my leg!" he yelled. "It attacked me for no reason! It's crazy!"
The Postman glanced back at the horse, and then petted its head, pulling an apple out of his purchases as a reward. The horse gladly accepted the gift, and munched on it happily as the stablehand gave another groan of pain. The Postman let out a snort. Good horse.
The Postman carefully removed the horse's saddle and halter, and ushered him into an empty stall using another apple to bribe it. As he turned to leave, the stablehand looked at him in a panic.
"Wait!" he called. "You can't just leave me here! It'll be hours before anyone finds me!"
The Postman turned around, gave him a very pointed look, and then left the stable. As he entered the inn, he knew he couldn't leave the stablehand there no matter how much he deserved it. He'd leave the girl at the front desk a note, and then he wouldn't be bothered by his conscience.
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Link had checked everywhere he could think of but the Gerudo seemed to have disappeared. After leaving the swamp, now completely muddy and smelly, he rode Epona towards Clock Town feeling discouraged. He left Epona to roam the fields, and then entered the town with a sigh. The guard at the gate let him in without hesitation, and Link headed towards the stockpot inn, exhausted and just wanting to sleep for a few hours. When he entered, the girl at the desk gave him a smile.
"Hello there! Looking to rent a room for the night?"
Link nodded.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but our last room was just filled! We've been unusually busy this week and we won't have a room until tomorrow night."
Link visibly slumped. It seemed his luck was going to be terrible all around today.
Seeing his troubled expression, the girl gave him an apologetic smile. "You could always try the ranch. They've been known to help out travellers in need."
Link let out sigh, and thanked the girl. It wasn't her fault the inn was full, and at least she'd been nice about the whole thing. Hoping he'd be welcome at the ranch, he turned to leave, not noticing the figure watching him from the stairs.
The Postman let out a breath of relief as the hero left the inn. Once the door was closed, he stepped out from his hiding spot into the lobby, and dropped a note onto the front desk. As the girl opened it, he quickly disappeared back upstairs, and locked himself in his room for the rest of the day.
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Early the next morning, before the sun was even up, The Postman slipped out of the inn and headed for the stables. He could barely see in the darkness, and he heard more than saw his horse. Opening the stall door, he held out a carrot and petted the horse as it munched happily. When it was finished, he stepped back a few feet and held out another carrot. The horse followed him out of the stall, and then stood obediently still as The Postman lifted the saddle onto its back. He wasn't exactly sure how to fasten the saddle and harness properly, but after a few tries, he was sure he had it right. Then, trying to be as quiet as possible, he led the horse out of the stable.
He knew from experience how nosy the townspeople of Clocktown could be and he didn't want to draw attention to himself as he left. The horse clip-clopped noisily behind him as he headed towards the north end of the town and he hoped no one would wake.
Upon entering North Clock town, he was met with the sound of very heavy, guttural snoring. Looking up towards the source of the noise, he saw a familiar figure in green tights, floating in the air, attached to an enormous red balloon. Approaching, he left the horse to graze for a moment, and squinted up at the peculiar man. Glancing around to make sure no one was listening, he whispered.
"Mr. Tingle! Hey! Mr. Tingle!"
The strange little man kept on snoring. Frowning, The Postman glanced over at the guard who also seemed asleep for the moment. Raising his voice slightly, he tried again.
"Mr. Tingle! Please wake up, Sir! Mr. Tingle!"
Tingle's only response was a gaspy sort of snort. The Postman didn't want to yell any louder as he knew that would draw attention, so he glanced around the area with a frown. Picking up a few small pebbles, he tossed one at Tingle. It bounced right off the mans forehead, but Tingle had no reaction whatsoever. Tossing another pebble, and then another, Tingle remained stubbornly asleep. Getting a bit frustrated, The Postman whipped the entire handful of pebbles at Tingle. Most struck Tingle across the chest, but one hit the balloon hard.
The balloon instantly burst with a loud pop, and Tingle let out a scream of terror as he fell to the ground. The guard at the gate jerked awake with a start, but when he saw what had awoken him, he simply gave an annoyed glare, and rolled his eyes. The guard, Guren, really hated Tingle. Every day he was forced to spend copious amounts of time near the other man, since Tingle plenty much lived in North Clocktown.
Tingle was incredibly short, fat, and not very pretty to look at. His face was covered in moles, and his goatee was greasy and slightly overgrown. He was wearing skin-tight green spandex, with a pair of red underpants worn over top. He had the reputation for being the strangest, and most delusional person in all of Termina.
Once Tingle got over his surprise, he looked up at The Postman and gave him a beaming grin. "Why hello, there, miss Gerudo! Are you looking to buy one of Tingle's maps? I currently have one of Clock Town and one of Woodfall!"
The Postman shook his head.
"I see...well, call again!"
He then bowed down dramatically, and flung a handful of sparkles as he straightened up. "Tingle, Tingle, Koo-loo Limpah! These are the magic words Tingle created himself. Don't steal them!"
Before Tingle could re-inflate the balloon, The Postman spoke up. "I'm sorry to bother you, Mr. Tingle, but I've been asked to bring you to someone who needs your services."
Tingle paused what he was doing in surprise. "Go to where Ganondorf is?" he asked. "Tingle cannot go to the Gerudo valley! There are no fairies there! Tingle has to wait here until he has a fairy of his own! Although Tingle is already 45, he knows that a fairy will come to him someday!"
The Postman had heard this speech every time he'd ever delivered a letter to Tingle, and sighed. "Sorry, Mr. Tingle but you must come. Those are my orders."
Tingle crossed his arms. "Tingle cannot. What if a fairy came while he was away?"
"Then she would wait for you." The Postman assured him. "Fairies are very loyal like that."
Tingle didn't look convinced. "Sorry, but Tingle is very busy. He doesn't have time to go to the desert."
The Postman knew Ganondorf would already be angry that Link knew something was going on, and he didn't want to disappoint the Gerudo even further.
"I've heard there are a great many fairies hidden in the Gerudo desert." The Postman told him. "In fact, in the Gerudo Mesa, I met a great fairy who was very kind."
Tingle gave him a skeptical look. "There are fairies in the desert?"
"Yes, Sir, and what if your fairy is there waiting for you?"
Tingle scratched at his chin, thinking about it. "Tingle thinks this sounds like a trap."
"We just need your services as a mapmaker, and then you'll be free to search for all the fairies in the desert." The Postman promised.
"No," Tingle replied. "Tingle will wait here for his fairy, as he has done for his entire life. Tingle will not go to the desert. This is a sneaky trap to keep Tingle away from his fairy."
The Postman wasn't sure what to do. Ganondorf had been very clear that failure was not an option. He had to get Tingle to Ganondorf one way or another.
Hating himself for what he was about to do, The Postman approached Tingle, and grabbed him by the back of the tights and began dragging the man towards the horse. Tingle screamed and struggled in protest, but The Postman didn't release him. Once to the horse, he pulled some rope out of the saddlebag and tied the squalling man up, despite all the yelling and thrashing about. Once he was finished, The Postman hefted the tiny man up with great difficulty, and threw him onto the back of the horse, tying him securely to the back of the saddle like a piece of luggage.
"I'm really sorry about this, Mr. Tingle. I don't normally do this sort of thing but you really do need to come with me."
The Postman mounted the horse, and then approached the gate, not sure how he was going to explain this. The guard Guren, was watching him with a raised brow, but didn't seem overly concerned about Tingle.
"You kidnapping the fairy man?" he demanded.
The Postman hesitated, and then nodded.
The guard stepped aside with a shrug. "Okay, just checking." he said. "Please don't return him."
The Postman rode past the guard, who began whistling nonchalantly, ignoring the screams coming from Tingle. The Postman quickly sped the horse up, just wanting out of the town.
Once in the field, he allowed the horse to canter, but didn't want to tire it out like he had the day before. Tingle was screaming bloody murder, but he tried to ignore it despite feeling horribly guilty. The noise was drawing the attention of the field monsters, and slowly they began gravitating towards them.
"Shh!" The Postman said. "Keep quiet! The monsters think you're food!"
Tingle shook his head, and kept right on screaming. "The fairies will save Tingle! They'll come for Tingle! Heeelp! Help! Tingle's been kidnapped!"
Several Green Jellies blocked the path up ahead, and The Postman wasn't sure what he was going to do. He wasn't a warrior, and he didn't even know how to use a sword! He'd never had to fight before! As they got closer, The Postman looked down at the sword attached to his belt. Rubbing a thumb over the hilt, he grimaced. He didn't want to hurt anyone, even if they were monsters.
As they reached the Jellies, he didn't have to worry about it as the horse seemed to know exactly what to do. As it reached the Jellies, it reared up and stomped on them as it passed, barely slowing down. The Postman stared at the green goo now covering the horse's legs and shuddered. The horse made sure to stomp on anything in its path as they rode across the fields, and The Postman closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see it.
All of a sudden, Tingle's yelling cut off abruptly. "Look!" he called to The Postman. "The green fairy! I told you the fairies would save me!"
The Postman opened his eyes and glanced over his shoulder. Link was riding straight for them, sword drawn and expression furious. Having seen that look before, right as the hero had stabbed him, The Postman panicked and gave the horse a kick, sending it into a full gallop.
Nighmare had gotten a much longer rest than Epona, and easily began widening the distance between them.
"Stop!" Link yelled from behind him. "Release whoever it is you've kidnapped! I won't hurt you, just let that person go!"
Tingle gave a wide grin. "MR. FAIRY!" he bellowed out happily. "I knew you'd come for me!"
Link's expression instantly went from anger to confusion. "...Tingle?"
"Yes, Mr. Fairy, it's Tingle! Come save Tingle!"
Link frowned. Who would someone want to kidnap Tingle? The man was a civilian, and was completely helpless! Had he somehow angered the Gerudo?
The two horses kept getting farther and farther apart, and no matter how much Link coaxed Epona, she was much too tired to match the speed. As the black horse disappeared over a hill in the distance, Link had to admit that he wasn't going to catch them.
Slowing down his horse, Link could still hear Tingle yelling for him until finally there was silence. It didn't matter if he caught them now, he knew exactly where they were going. He could rescue Tingle as well as find out what the Gerudo's plans were. He only had to sneak into Gerudo Valley.
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The hero hadn't been following them for quite a while, so The Postman slowed down the horse as they entered Hyrule Fields. The horse seemed a bit out of breath and he really didn't want to return it in poor condition. Tingle had finally gone quiet and was sniffling quietly to himself in disappointment as they rode on.
When they passed by Hyrule Castle Town, The Postman glanced back at Tingle with a frown.
"I am sorry, Mr. Tingle." he again apologized.
Tingle let out a sigh, and then said. "I suppose Tingle can come with you to the Gerudo Valley; there might be fairies there..."
The Postman knew Tingle didn't really have a choice in the matter, but it did make him feel a bit better about the whole situation.
"We're almost there, Mr. Tingle. Just a few more minutes."
Tingle squinted up at him as he gave another sniff. "You know," he said. "Tingle can't help but think you sound familiar. Your voice is a bit deep for a Gerudo...Does Tingle know you?"
The Postman didn't answer, instead turning his full attention to the road before him. It wouldn't do for anyone to find out he was still alive; they'd likely create a lynch-mob.
As they rode along, The Postman could hear Tingle quietly saying his 'magic' words to himself over and over again. After about ten minutes of that, The Postman tuned him out completely, and kept his eyes ahead of them.
When they reached the turn-off to Gerudo Valley, the horse turned without any instruction, knowing it was almost home. They crossed the bridge and passed by several Gerudo guards who let him pass without question. They passed by the Gerudo fortress and rode into the desert towards the Gerudo city. The Postman felt a slight shiver of cold that came over him as he passed through some sort of magical barrier, but shook it off as he rode through the town towards the royal stables. Ganondorf was clearly extending the protections around his people.
Once to the stables, he brought the horse to a stop, and then dismounted as the Gerudo he'd the day before came out to meet him. She crossed her arms as she looked him up and down, and then she gave a nod of approval.
"So, you're still alive." she stated, her eyes falling on the bound Tingle. "And it looks like your mission was successful."
"Yes, miss."
She harrumphed, and then said. "I suppose you get to live another day then."
The Postman gave her an odd look. Had she been hoping he'd fail? "...yes, miss." he answered, hesitantly.
As The Postman untied Tingle, and pulled him down off the horse, the Gerudo stared at Tingle with a look of pure disgust. She didn't say anything, but by her expression, her opinion was very clear. Tingle made a great show of dusting himself off, and then looked up at The Postman impatiently.
"Well? What do you need of Tingle?"
As the Gerudo led the horse back to the stables, The Postman motioned for Tingle to follow him into the castle. As they walked along in silence, every Gerudo stopped to stare at Tingle, their expressions a mixture of disdain and revulsion. None tried to stop them however, as they entered the castle, knowing there had to be a very good reason for the short, fat, creepy man to be there.
The Postman led Tingle towards the throne room in silence, the small map-maker spinning and dancing as he did so. He knocked on the throne room door, and he heard a curse from inside.
"What?" came the angry bellow.
The Postman slowly pushed open the door, and peered inside at Ganondorf who was sitting at his throne, shuffling through papers with a scowl. A healing-fairy in a bottle sat on the arm of the throne, an extra from the search the day before. When he looked up and saw The Postman, his expression changed to surprise.
"You're back." he stated.
"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf."
"I had my doubts." he admitted. "Did you find me a map-maker?"
"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf." The Postman said as he opened the door fully and ushered Tingle inside. "This is the best mapmaker in the whole continent."
At the sight of Tingle, Ganondorf's eyes narrowed to slits. "What is that?" he demanded, angrily.
"The best map-maker there is, Sir." The Postman replied. "His name is Tingle."
Tingle looked up at Ganondorf, and then his face split into a huge grin of happiness and he ran forward eagerly.
"What's this?" he cried out in delight. "Black clothes, pink fairy...Sir, could you, by chance, be a dark fairy?"
Both of Ganondorf's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"Oh my!" Tingle said happily. "My name is Tingle, and I think I am the same as you, sir, except I'm a forest fairy not a dark fairy!"
Ganondorf's eyes shifted over to The Postman, who simply shrugged in reply.
"I know! I think we should be friends, Mr. Dark Fairy! Yes, yes and in exchange for the friendship, I will show you Tingle's magic! Would you like to see it?"
Ganondorf blinked, his expression completely unreadable.
Tingle pranced around in front of Ganondorf, dancing happily and the Gerudo could only watch in disbelief.
Ganondorf simply stared at Tingle, his face a mixture of disbelief and anger, as Tingle gave him a deep bow. When Tingle straightened, he threw a whole fistful of silver sparkles at Ganondorf's face with a grin.
"Tingle, Tingle! Koo-loo Limpah! These are the magic words Tingle created himself. Don't steal them!"
Ganondorf sat perfectly still, his expression unamused as sparkles fell out of his hair. Then, ever so slowly, he drew his sword. The Postman gave a wince at what had happened, and then quickly spoke up.
"You did ask for the best map-maker I knew of, Sir, and he is the best. He's travelled just as much as me, Sir. He's just a little bit...different."
Ganondorf hesitated despite his natural instinct to stab the miserable fairy man into a pile of mush. He frowned deeply, and then shook some of the sparkles out of his hair.
"Fine." he growled. "But, he'd better be worth all this trouble."
"I cannot say, Sir, but he is a map-maker."
"Fine." Ganondorf said again. "Good work, Tracker."
"Um...there was something else you should know, Sir." The Postman said hesitantly.
"Did you damage my horse?" Ganondorf demanded, instantly alert. "You better not have!"
"Er, well, he's a bit tired, Sir, but not hurt. I met up with Mr. Link and had to lose him..."
Ganondorf stared at him a moment. "Who?"
"The Hero of Time, Sir. He saw me riding across the Teminian border yesterday and he followed me. I managed to lose him, but he found me again this morning, and Nightmare had to outrun his horse to get away."
Ganondorf did not look impressed. "You let the Hero of Time see you? He could have ruined everything if he found out I was still alive!"
The Postman winced, and slowly sucked in a breath of air through his teeth. Ganondorf narrowed his eyes at him.
"What haven't you told me?" he demanded.
"He may have...already guessed you're still alive when he saw me in the Gerudo uniform... He said he'll find out whatever you're up to, and put a stop to it...one way or another."
"What?!" Ganondorf yelled, standing to his feet. "He can't find out already, nothing's ready yet! He'll ruin everything!"
"Sorry, Mr. Ganondorf."
"Guards!" Ganondorf bellowed. "Guards, get in here! Now!"
Instantly two Gerudo guards entered the throne room, and gave him a low bow.
"The blasted Hero of Time might be on his way here. Get every available Gerudo to block him before he even reaches the valley! No one is to enter or leave Gerudo valley under any circumstance, and I mean no one!"
"Yes, your highness, but isn't your thief out on a mission right now?"
Ganondorf paused. "I forgot about him." he admitted. "Alright, no one except The Thief may enter."
The two guards gave him another bow. "Understood, Sire."
"GO!" Ganondorf boomed. "Move it! Tell the others immediately!"
The guards quickly ran from the room to do as they were told, and Ganondorf turned his eyes back to The Postman.
"Did the hero recognize you?"
"No, sir, he thought I was a Gerudo."
Ganondorf let out a dismissive snort. "An easy enough mistake to make, you have no bulk to you at all." he stated. "Did you say anything to him? Anything that would give away that I'm here?"
"No, Mr. Ganondorf, I never spoke a word to him."
"Good, at least I don't have to kill you then. Your identity is still a secret, and you can still be of use to me."
The Postman nodded. "Yes, Sir."
"Now I suggest you return to you room, unless you want to be out there with the warriors fighting."
That did not sound like something he'd enjoy, so The Postman quickly nodded. "Yes, Mr. Ganondorf."
"You may leave us now."
Ganondorf took a small pouch off his belt, and flung it towards The Postman who barely managed to catch it.
"That is your payment for successfully completing your mission. I'll summon you when I need your services again. For now, you will resume your training."
"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf." The Postman said, obediently backing out of the room.
Once he was gone, Ganondorf gave Tingle a narrow-eyed gaze. "Tell me about your map-making skills, you disgusting little maggot. If you don't impress me, I will skin you alive and feed you to my Skullfish."
Slowly, Tingle's smile disappeared, and he gave a gulp.
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Adena looked up from her book with a scowl when there came a knock at her door. She recognized The Postman's hesitant knock and wondered what he could possibly want. Hadn't she made it clear she didn't want anything to do with him? Storming over to the door, she threw it open, ready to give him a piece of her mind. She stopped mid-word when she saw there was no one there. Looking down, she saw a brown box sitting in front of her door.
Frowning down at the box, she glanced up the hallway, but there was no one there. Cautiously picking it up, she glanced at the tag. The only thing it said was 'Thank you'. When she opened the box and saw the piles of candy, her aggression instantly melted away. She glanced over at The Postman's closed bedroom door. Well, maybe he wasn't so bad...
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Link had walked Epona the rest of the way back to Hyrule, the horse still exhausted from the day before and unable to run. He stopped at Lon Lon ranch to leave her to rest and borrowed another horse from Malon. The farm girl had scolded him for the condition Epona was in, and warned him if he dared do the same to her horse, she'd plow him right in the face. He'd left the ranch feeling a bit apprehensive, not sure if Malon would actually do it, and decided not to run this horse very hard at all.
As he made his way towards the Gerudo valley, he couldn't help but wonder why the Gerudo would go to all the trouble of travelling to Termina to kidnap Tingle. Had the strange little man witnessed something he shouldn't have? Had he insulted the Gerudo in some way, making her want to exact revenge on him? Whatever her reason for kidnapping him was, Link would make sure he rescued Tingle before any harm came to him.
The horse turned onto the path to Gerudo valley, and it crossed the bridge at a trot, Link keeping his eyes trained forward for any surprise attacks. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he steered the horse onto the road to the Gerudo fortress. The second he reached the opening to the road, he was met with the sight of over 100 armed Gerudo warriors blocking his path, spears, swords and bows at the ready. Link looked at the Gerudos. The Gerudos looked at Link. Then, in a burst of motion, the Gerudos surged forward, tossing spears and drawing their bows.
Link barely had time to turn the horse, and bolt in the other direction before spears and arrows flew at him, only missing him by a hair. He knew there was no way he could win that fight as he was, so he'd retreat until he came up with a better plan of action.
As the horse ran back towards Hyrule field, he knew by the amount of warriors protecting the fortress, they were hiding something. He wasn't sure if it was Ganondorf, or just something they didn't want anyone to see, but now he was positive they were up to something.
As he rode across Hyrule field, he knew he had to tell Zelda about this latest turn of events. They had to come up with a plan to infiltrate the Gerudo fortress.
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It had now been five days since The Postman had returned to the castle, and very slowly he was getting used to his life among the Gerudo. Every day he trained in the morning with Koume and Kotake, and spent his afternoons getting pummelled in swords-training. Since his mission had gone successfully, most of the Gerudo seemed somewhat less hostile towards him, instead choosing to ignore him completely. The only problems he had were with Milan.
As expected, Ganondorf had taken her word over his, and her bullying continued full force. Every day, she volunteered to be his training partner, and every day he got the snot beat out of him. The only upside to this, was he was getting a lot faster at avoiding her attacks. Captain Isa was getting frustrated with the fact he always ran instead of fought, but he just didn't seem to have any talent with the sword.
He had made no progress with his magical training either, still showing no signs of magic at all. The witches had assured him that his training could take a while, and that he just needed to keep at it. The Postman was doubtful, having the feeling he just didn't have any magic.
He was able to walk freely throughout the castle whenever he wanted, and no one paid him the least bit of attention any more. Almost all of the fully-trained Gerudo were gone from the city, guarding the fortress in Gerudo Valley, and most of the Gerudo left behind were either those still in training or the elderly. He hadn't once seen Ganondorf in the last five days, or any sign of Tingle either. Although he was curious as to what Ganondorf was planning, he knew it really wasn't any of his business.
On the sixth day, The Postman got a summons. He couldn't help but wonder what it was Ganondorf wanted him to do this time, hoping it wasn't another kidnapping. Was he to return Tingle home?
When he reached the throne room, Ganondorf motioned for him to stand off to the side. The Postman did as he was told, watching Ganondorf pour over the very detailed maps in front of him. It seemed Tingle had been very busy, drawing excellent maps, in colour no less. Ganondorf was munching from a very large bowl of almonds, and he was seemingly ignoring him. After a few minutes, he acknowledged him.
"We're waiting for someone else." Ganondorf explained, not looking up from what he was doing.
The Postman nodded, and stood in silence for a long time, watching as Ganondorf studied the maps. Finally after a while, Ganondorf glanced up, looking annoyed.
"What is taking him so long." he muttered. To The Postman he said. "My thief will be here at any moment and I don't want you to say a single word in front of him."
"Why?" The Postman asked curiously.
"Although he works for me, he's a slimy weasel who can't be trusted. I do not want him knowing who you really are."
"Yes, Sir." The Postman responded.
"I mean it." Ganondorf warned. "He's unbearably nosy, and he will try to trick you into telling him valuable information. Not a word, Tracker."
"Yes, Sir."
The Postman once again stood in silence, quickly becoming bored and restless. Finally after another twenty minutes or so, the throne room doors opened and a tall, thin man entered, wearing the same uniform as him. The Postman couldn't see much him, because of the mask, but did see the man had several piercings in his long pointed ears, and bright green eyes that were a stark contrast to the black uniform. The man slouched his way over to the throne and then stood, arms crossed, looking incredibly cross.
"What took you so long?" Ganondorf demanded. "I summoned you nearly an hour ago!"
"I was sleeping." the man snapped, his voice young and full of attitude. "What did you honestly expect? I just went to bed like two hours ago. I don't work during the day."
"That's no excuse." Ganondorf replied, narrowing his eyes. "When I summon you, I expect immediate obedience, is that understood?"
The man rolled his eyes, but otherwise stayed silent. The Postman suddenly realized this was the same man he shared a bathroom with; he recognized the voice. The man's gaze shifted to The Postman and he looked him up and down curiously, noting the identical uniform.
"Who's that?" he demanded. "You better not be replacing me!"
Ganondorf gave him a look of loathing. "That's my new Tracker, not another thief."
The Thief's interest seemed to only increase. "A tracker? What does a tracker do?"
"Track." Ganondorf snapped. "Now, I have another job for you."
"Tracks what exactly?" The Thief demanded.
"None of your business, now pay attention. This new job will take you at least a day to complete, longer if you get caught."
The Thief let out a snort. "As if I'd get caught."
Ganondorf turned his back to rifle through a pile of papers, and to The Postman's surprise, The Thief reached forward and stole a handful of almonds out of the bowl on Ganondorf's desk. He had them pocketed before the Gerudo had turned back around.
"You're to leave immediately." Ganondorf informed him. "This mission is of the utmost importance."
"What?! But I just got back from my last mission!" The Thief complained. "This isn't fair!"
"Suck it up." Ganondorf growled. "I need you to break into Hyrule Castle."
The Thief stood up straight, his attention caught. "Hyrule Castle?" he asked eagerly. "Can I loot?"
"No." Ganondorf responded firmly. "You are not to attract any attention. I don't want them knowing you were ever there."
The Thief slumped in disappointment. "What a waste of my talents." He complained.
Ganondorf narrowed his eyes further. "I mean it, no looting. I don't want them finding out what I'm up to."
The Thief gave him a smirk. "Oh? And what are you up to?"
"That's none of your business." Ganondorf snapped. "Here's a detailed map of Hyrule Castle, don't lose it."
The Thief took the map and gave it a quick glance. "Do you have a map showing the courtyard as well?"
Ganondorf nodded and turned to dig through the pile of maps. The Thief took that opportunity to steal the rest of the almonds and also every quill on the desk. The Postman gave him a disapproving look, but knew he was forbidden to speak. Ganondorf didn't notice and handed The Thief a second map.
"So, what exactly am I stealing?" he asked.
"This is what you're after." Ganondorf said, handing him a third paper.
The Thief took it and squinted at a picture of a jewel-encrusted sword. "The sword of M-mep..mepha...methal..."
"The Sword of Mephistophelian, you illiterate dumbass."
"Right." The Thief responded. "Looks fancy, what's it do?"
"That's none of your concern." Ganondorf answered. "Your job is just to retrieve it and nothing else."
The Thief's green eyes glinted with something The Postman didn't like. He gave Ganondorf a cocky smirk. "Hmm, seems kinda suspicious if you ask me. I wonder what that thing is worth..."
In an instant, Ganondorf had The Thief by the throat. "Your life is what it's worth." he snarled. "If you even think of keeping it for yourself, I'll do to you what happened to your predecessor."
That instantly sobered The Thief and he nodded mutely. Ganondorf released him and The Thief gave him a glare, rubbing sulkily at his neck.
"I was only joking." The Thief muttered sullenly.
"The sword cannot be touched by human hands, so make certain to cover it up before touching it." Ganondorf warned. "The royal family has kept track of the sword for over a thousand years, and I believe it's hidden within the castle."
"Right." The Thief responded. "Where exactly do I look?"
"No idea." Ganondorf responded with a shrug. "Have fun."
The Thief turned to face The Postman. "See what I have to put up with, Shorty? No one appreciates me around here."
The Postman pointedly looked away.
The Thief frowned and squinted at him a bit more closely. "Hmm, now I'm second guessing myself. Are you a guy or a girl?"
The Postman didn't answer, simply crossing his arms.
The Thief rolled his eyes. "Ooookay, then. Nice having this talk with you, you're a great conversationist."
"Leave my Tracker alone, Thief." Ganondorf snapped.
"This 'Tracker' better not be replacing me." The Thief warned.
"The Tracker is not replacing you." Ganondorf snapped.
"I just don't understand what a tracker does. Is he or she going to track down their sense of humour?"
"Stop wasting my time and go do your job." Ganondorf ordered. "You're not to associate with my Tracker. Ever."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. It will take me a week to find this Melvis Sword." The Thief stated, turning to leave.
"You have one day." Ganondorf responded, impatiently.
"Fine, I can do it in three days." The Thief said.
"ONE day, Thief, and no looting."
Letting out a sigh of irritation, The Thief nodded. "Fine. No looting. I'll be back in a day."
Without another word, The Thief left the room. Once the door had closed, Ganondorf turned to The Postman.
"I wanted you to meet my personal Thief. You'll probably end up working with him on certain missions. He can't be trusted though, so if you see him around, do not converse with him. I don't want him knowing who you are."
The Postman nodded, thinking The Thief didn't seem like a very reliable minion.
"I have a few priority letters I need delivered." Ganondorf told him, taking a seat at his desk, and reaching for the quill that was no longer there.
His hand hesitated where he'd left the quill, and then he glanced all over his desk. "Where did all my..." his eyes narrowed in realization, and then he let out a deep sigh of irritation. "Tracker, go get me a new quill."
"Yes, Sir. New almonds too?"
"What? Why would I..." his eyes fell on the empty bowl.
Ganondorf's expression turned ugly. "Remind me to beat The Thief when he gets back, Tracker."
"Yes, Sir."
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Let's see if we can aim for 6 reviews for this chapter. If we make it, I'll post a bonus chapter this Sunday or Monday to celebrate! Woohoo! :D :D
Next regular update will be on Wednesday