Chapter 12: Regret

Roxas ran. He ran faster than he had ever run in his entire life. He was panting and wheezing, out of breath and nearly ready to pass out. But he wouldn't stop. He only prayed he wasn't too late. He prayed to God that he wasn't too late.

But he was.

As he continued running through the graveyard, he was finally brought to a stop, by a group of mourners making their way home. His feet suddenly felt like they were frozen to the ground. In front of the line were his family.

Sora, who was standing next to Kairi, was the first to break away from the group. He slowly walked up to Roxas, disgust and rage were etched all over his face. "Where the hell have you been?"

Roxas remained silent. He could only look up and stare sadly at his family. His mother and sister were staring right back at him. He saw from the redness in their eyes that they had been crying. Probably all throughout the day.

"I'll ask you again," Sora said angrily, gritting his teeth together. "Where have you been?"

"…"

Kairi nervously walked up to Sora, holding him tightly by the arms. "Sora please. Don't do this here…"

Suddenly, another figure arrived at the scene.

"Hey you guys!"

Sora eyes widened. It was Axel.

Like Roxas, the red-haired man had also come late, and at a loss of breath. "Mr. Strife," Axel said as he addressed Cloud. He was clearly having trouble speaking as he huffed and puffed in between each word. "Please forgive us. We didn't think we'd be this late…"

Cloud and Tifa both remained silent. They were at a loss for words. They didn't know how to react to it all. The funeral procession had ended. Their eldest son had already been buried. And yet these two were only just arriving. It was enough to break any parent's heart.

Sora began to feel his blood boiling. He immediately pulled away from Kairi, stepping up in front of his brother, keeping their faces only inches apart from one another. "What was it this time Roxas?" Sora asked coldly. "Big shot executive meeting? You and Axel treating special guests? Or maybe… you were just a little too hung over from your late night partying to make it today. Hmm? Which one?"

"…"

"You really are something, you know that?" Sora said condescendingly. "Now that Ven is buried six feet into the ground, you finally decide to show up?!"

"…"

"Don't you think you're a little too late?!"

"You don't understand!" Roxas yelled out, finally breaking his silence. "There was a major crisis that Axel and I had to deal with! We had to fly to Twilight Town on short notice! We thought we would make it back on time but our flight suddenly got delayed for several hours!"

"Stop with all your damn excuses!" Sora angrily shot back. His muscles began to grow more and tense as his pulse sped up.

"Boys, boys, boys," said a mysterious man from the back of the crowd.

Sora and Roxas both raised their head.

With a sinister aura floating around him, one that went unnoticed by everyone besides Roxas, Xehanort, the man that had spoken up, slowly stepped out from the crowd and stood between the two brothers.

"Roxas," Xehanort said, placing a hand on the blonde Strife's shoulder. "Don't you think you've embarrassed yourself enough for one day? Maybe it's best if yo-"

Roxas immediately pushed Xehanort away from him. "Keep quiet! This is family business!"

"Don't talk to him like that," Sora interceded, coming to the old man's defence. "He was only saying what everybody here thinks! There's no way to justify what you've done! You've no right to be here!"

Roxas began to feel his body temperature rising as well. "Why do you always side with outsiders?! You need to remember this Sora," Roxas yelled out angrily. "I'm still your brother!"

"Enough!" Sora shot back. "I only need to side with reason!"

"…"

"All you've ever cared about was doing business! You couldn't even take one day off to go to your own brother's freaking funeral?! For me to have a brother such as you, do you understand that there are no words to describe the shame I feel?!"

"…"

"For Ven to have such a despicable kid brother, he'll never be able to rest in peace!"

Suddenly, that was the last insult that Roxas could manage to take. Before he even knew what he was doing, Roxas had raised his hand and slapped Sora across the face.

"What did you say?!"

The force of Roxas' strike caused Sora's head to thrust to the side. His spiky hair moved along with it, covering the part of Sora's face which had been hit. Slowly registering what had just happened, Sora stared coldly at his brother while his hand slowly made its way to his cheek.

Everyone's jaw dropped at what happened next.

Completely enraged, Sora thrust himself forward and swung his fist right at his brother. There was a loud cracking noise as Sora's fist pressed itself on Roxas' face. The sheer force put into it was enough to make Roxas loose his balance ever so slightly.

"I meant it the first time I said it!" Sora yelled out angrily. "I can no longer accept such a despicable, money-hungry man as my brother! Get lost!"

Roxas didn't respond. His legs were still feeling a bit wobbly. And he was still hurting, more so than he had ever been in a long time.

Sora huffed out loud as stared down at his brother. There was now blood on his face. Sora cringed as he stared at his own hand. He hated fights. And yet, he had half a mind to punch his brother a second time.

And he would have, if his father had not intervened.

"What is the matter with you boys?!" Cloud yelled out as he stepped up.

Sora and Roxas both remained silent, staring angrily at each other, neither one daring to respond.

"Have you no sense at all?!" Cloud yelled out with tears in his eyes. "Why must you two fight here of all places! Have you no sense of respect for your brother?!"

Cloud suddenly came to a stop. He quickly placed a hand over his chest as he desperately tried to catch his breath.

"Dad!" Xion yelled out, immediately rushing to her father's side.

As their father's spasm continued, both Strife twins began to relax their fists, the guilt and shame of what they had just done suddenly setting in.

Kairi decided to step in again, putting herself beside Sora as she gave him a pleading look. "Uncle Cloud and Aunt Tifa are both worn out. You should take them home."

Sora froze for awhile. His eyes were fixed on his brother. With much hesitance, he nodded his head and walked over to his father and mother's side, leading them away from the gravesite.

All the other mourners followed suit, nervously passing by Roxas as they made their way to the parking lot.

Xehanort smirked as he passed by. "Glad that's over," he said, adding more to Roxas' grief. "To have his two little brothers fighting in front of his gravesite… My God… little Ventus is probably crying in heaven as I speak."

Though it was supposedly only a whisper, Roxas had heard it perfectly clear. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth together, trying his absolute best not to let tears fall down his face.

And then he ran off.

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Kairi followed after him. It didn't take a genius to figure out where he had run off to. He was in front of Ventus' grave, on his hands and feet… and crying.

"Roxas…"

Roxas didn't look up. He clenched his hands together and began to pound his fist into the ground. "Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"

Kairi nervously walked up to his side. "R-Roxas… please don't be like this…"

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"

"Sora didn't mean what he said Roxas," Kairi said, hoping to give him some sort of relief. "Nobody blames you."

Roxas angrily shook his head, rejecting Kairi's words of comfort as he sank deeper and deeper into the ground. "I'm sorry Ven… I'm sorry… I couldn't make it back in time to send you off… I'm sorry…"

Kairi's heart sank. "Please Roxas, don't be like this. Ventus understands. He'll forgive you," Kairi reasoned. "He wouldn't blame you…"

"That's not true!" Roxas yelled out, clenching his teeth together. "He'll never forgive me! The last time we spoke I yelled at him! I yelled and punched my own brother! I never got the chance to apologize!" Roxas continued to pound his fists into the ground, his cries becoming louder and louder. "He was buried and I didn't even get to send him off! Damn it all! Damn it! Damn it!"

"…"

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"

Kairi continued to watch helplessly with tears running down her face. He had become so broken, so lost, and he was dealing with all these emotions alone.

Very carefully, feeling the need not to startle him, Kairi bent down and wrapped her arms around Roxas' head, hoping to give her friend any sort of comfort that she could.

Roxas flinched. Though her gesture did not cause his cries and whimpers to cease, Roxas slowly found himself calming down; the pain and grief he felt only a moment before being replaced with something… else.

"Please Roxas… It's all going to be okay…"

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Sora tried to maintain his composure as he helped his parents into the taxi cab. His father had immediately fallen asleep as soon as he stepped inside. He didn't want to be awake. He didn't want to face any of the emotional turmoil anymore. Sora understood, as did the rest of the family. They didn't bother to wake him.

As Tifa settled herself into the seat, she rolled down the window and stared worriedly at her son and daughter who were standing outside.

"Sora," she called out.

Sora bent down to level with her. "Yes mom?"

"… Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

Sora shook his head. "It's fine mom. You and dad go on ahead. I'll take Xion home in my car."

Tifa looked down nervously. "Yes… but…"

Sora sighed. He understood why his mother was being so cautious. "It's fine mom. I promise, I won't get into another fight with him…"

"It's not that Sora," Tifa replied. "I don't want to see you brothers like this… I've already lost Ventus… If you two were to ever…"

"Mom," Sora interrupted. "I promise everything will be fine. Just go home and get some rest."

Hesitantly, Tifa nodded her head and rolled the window back down. As Sora stepped away from the curb, the taxi pulled out of the parking lot and drove off into the street.

Xion, who was standing next to Sora, nervously placed a hand over her brother. "Are you okay Sora?"

Sora let out a soft sigh and nodded his head. "I'll be fine," he said, reassuring his sister. "Now come on. Let's get to my car."

Xion raised her brow. "Um… what about Kairi?"

"…"

"…"

"… She's probably with him," Sora said nonchalantly, making his way to the other side of the lot.

"Shouldn't we get them," Xion asked nervously as she followed her brother. "Um… I mean, her."

Sora shook his head. "It's fine. He'll probably give her a ride home afterwards."

In all honesty, Sora was glad that Kairi had chased after Roxas. Despite the anger and frustration he was feeling for his brother, he still knew that his brother was hurting. It would be best if he had someone to talk to.

"Better her than me I suppose…"

"Sora…" Xion said, interrupting his train of thought.

Sora raised his brow as he looked over to his little sister. "Yeah Xion?"

"… Please," Xion said softly.

Sora blinked. "Please… what?"

"…"

"…"

"Please tell me you and Rox won't stay like this forever. Promise me you'll eventually make up…"

"…"

"…"

Sora let out a soft sigh. He didn't really know what to say. He could forgive a lot of things in his brother, but this just wasn't one of them.

"I'm sorry Xion," Sora said sadly. "I don't think I can promise you that…"

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Roxas began to feel a hint of guilt as he eyed the white handkerchief in his hands. Kairi had given it to him to wipe off his tears. It had taken nearly half an hour, but she had finally managed to calm him down. The two of them were now sitting quietly in the middle of the graveyard; Roxas trying hard to regain his composure.

"I'm sorry Kairi," Roxas said nervously, lifting up the thin piece of fabric. "It seems I've got your handkerchief all messed up."

The girl sitting in front of him smiled. "Don't worry," she assured him. "You hang on to it."

Roxas nodded his head. He couldn't help but cringe as he eyed it himself. It had become all crumpled and soaked up. The truly sad part was that it was all soaked with his tears. "I promise I'll give it back to you another time," Roxas said, tucking it away in his coat pocket.

Kairi nodded her head.

The two of them sat quietly in the graveyard for awhile, with Kairi looking over and examining the bruise on Roxas' face. Sora's one punch had managed to cut a corner of his lips.

Roxas took notice of her stares as he looked up. "Does it really look that bad?"

"It could have been worse," Kairi replied. "Luckily for you, Sora's not that experienced in fist fighting."

"Yeah…" Roxas said, letting out a half-hearted grin. "Lucky me…"

There was a brief moment of silence; neither of them really knew what to say.

"Earlier… you said there was a major crisis…"

"…"

"I know you Roxas," Kairi said confidently. "There must have been a reason for your disappearance. I'm sure you wouldn't have gotten up and left if it wasn't something major."

Roxas quickly turned to the side. He made it clear that he was avoiding the question.

Kairi sighed, quickly shifting herself over to level with him. "Despite what you allow others to believe, I know the most important thing to you isn't business Roxas. It's your family. Don't keep everything inside. Don't keep your troubles away from people that care about you."

"…"

"Sora and I really worry about you," Kairi said, reassuring him. "Sure, even if you tell us, there's a large chance we wouldn't be able to help anyway. Still," she argued. "It'd help ease you of your burden. At the very least you wouldn't be the only one worrying about things. Please, tell me."

Roxas bit down on his lips as he looked over at Kairi. He knew she cared about him. He knew she genuinely cared about him. That was all the more reason why he wouldn't burden her with useless information. "Any problems that have come up, I've already taken care of it," Roxas said calmly. "You guys can rest easy."

"Are you sure Roxas?"

Roxas confidently nodded his head. "The important thing now," Roxas said, pointing his finger towards the engagement ring on Kairi's finger. "The important thing now is for you and Sora to get married."

Kairi blinked at him, surprised and even a little annoyed that he would bring up the topic at a time like this. "Roxas, we've been over this…"

"Please," Roxas interrupted. He stared intensely at her, and Kairi couldn't help but shiver a bit. The look he gave her did not come from his usually fierce and confident self. Instead, it was pleading and vulnerable. "Please Kairi. My mother and father have been through too much already. They need happy memories to replace the sad ones…"

"…"

"…"

Kairi sighed as she placed her hand gently over Roxas' lap. "Roxas, there's no doubt that me and Sora are going to get married. You don't have to worry about that," Kairi said reassuring him. "But… it shouldn't be this rushed, especially during these circumstances. Having our wedding date so close to Ventus' funeral date… do you really think Sora and I would be happy on that day? Why can't you consider our feelings?"

"…"

"You know, you shouldn't be so careless…"

"…"

"…"

Roxas nervously scrapped his hands against the ground. "Of course I'm careless…" Roxas said sadly. "If I wasn't so careless, I would have settled this problem a long time ago. Then I wouldn't need to fly off to Twilight Town. I wouldn't have missed my big brother's funeral…"

"…"

"I'll regret it for the rest of my life…"

Kairi's heart sank. "Roxas…"

"I admit it Kairi!" Roxas said, interjecting. "I might be pushing this too far. But you two getting married really is the right thing to do!"

Kairi bit her lips as she looked him over. She understood Roxas' intentions. She understood why he was pushing the subject. It wasn't about the wedding at all. All he really wanted was to bring his family back together.

"I understand that you're suffering Roxas," Kairi said gently. "I have no right to even imagine how much pain you must be going through."

"…"

"But you have to move forward," Kairi pleaded. "If you keep going down this path, it's only going to cause a rift between you and the people that care about you."

"…"

"Trust me."

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Roxas hesitantly twisted the knob of the front door and pushed it open. The lights were all off. It looked like everyone had gone to bed.

Roxas sighed as he removed the key from the lock and closed the door behind him. After he had dropped off Kairi, he had spent the rest of the day driving around town in an endless circle. He didn't want to come home. He felt he didn't have the resolve to face his family just yet.

As he walked up the stairs, Roxas made his way to the study room. Just as he was about to walk inside, someone else had stepped into the hallway.

Roxas froze.

The other resident remained completely expressionless, not even looking remotely surprised. "When did you get home?"

"Just now," Roxas replied as he eyed the room his brother was coming for. It was his parent's room. "Were you talking to mom and dad? Are they asleep?"

Sora nodded his head. "They've had a rough day…"

"I see…"

"Shouldn't you get to bed?"

Roxas nervously shook his head. "I thought I would get some work done…"

Sora scoffed. He didn't even feel the need to argue about this anymore. His twin brother had made his priorities perfectly clear already. "Of course you are." With that, Sora calmly walked away and stepped into his own bedroom. They exchanged no more words after that.

Roxas sighed, stepping out of the hallway and into his study room. He wasn't exactly enjoying being given the cold shoulder by his twin brother. And yet, at the same time, he couldn't really blame his brother either.

Roxas grinned as he placed a hand over his lip, touching upon the spot that Sora had struck him. If the situation were reversed, Roxas knew he would have acted out in the exact same way, maybe even more.

Still, casting his thoughts aside, he closed the door behind him and took a seat behind his desk. Though he and Axel had resolved Avalanche's immediate crisis, there were still far more issues that needed to be worked out. The reassurance he gave to Kairi was far from the truth. Avalanche was in deeper trouble than any of them could possibly imagine.

Settling himself in his chair, Roxas set off to get to work. As he took off his coat to get more comfortable, Roxas flinched when he remembered something. Digging his hands into his coat pocket, he pulled out the white handkerchief that Kairi had given to him earlier.

For some reason, Roxas couldn't help but stare at it for awhile. It was strange, but looking into it actually caused a grin to form on his face. It was some kind of odd phenomenon.

Reasoning that it was just the lovely design that caught his attention, Roxas opened up his desk drawer and placed the fabric neatly inside. Right beside it, was another handkerchief of similar design. The one that Kairi had given to him in the hospital.

Roxas raised his brow. It was unusual. He was slightly sure that he had returned to her. Why it was still in his drawer was a mystery.

"Guess I owe her two handkerchiefs back…"

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A/N : That wasn't too bad. The gap between this chapter and the previous one was a little under a month. Not too bad right?

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Preview...

"Stop being so stubborn!"

"Something has got to change."

"I don't mind playing the villain."

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