Drabbles and One Shots
Disclaimer: I own none of the IPs represented in this collection of ramblings. If I did, they would be much more interesting and I wouldn't be attending school.
#12: The Demon Shark and the Fish Cake: 4
Haku looked back and forth between the two legendary Nin facing off in the middle of the street. He was out of his depth, he had no clue what to do, just them starting to raise their killer intent at each other was making him choke and shiver. Backing off slowly, he heard a soft sound back in the direction of the ramen stand; looking back he noticed that Naruto's latest bowl of ramen that had been abandoned after one bite when Jiraiya had showed up had disappeared. That broke the spell and he couldn't help it, he face palmed.
"So, care to answer my question? Just what are you doing with Uzumaki Naruto? He disappeared almost six years ago after a traitor; long since interrogated executed, took him out of Konoha and left him for dead."
"Heh, I found the kid in the middle of the forest, completely cut up and bleeding everywhere. I decided that anyone that could take that kind of punishment and not give up and die would make an amazing apprentice, and I was right."
"So you didn't kidnap him?"
"No."
"He's happy with you?"
"Little bastard never stops smiling, no matter what kind of training I put him through."
"He's never given any indication that he wants to leave?"
"The kid could go freelance as a B-rank Nin right now and he knows it, but he still sticks around."
"Good enough for me" Jiraiya said and relaxed his stance, walking up the ramen bar with Kisame following him, he ordered while the Monster of the Mist went back to his latest, still warm, Sea Food Special.
Naruto meanwhile reappeared with his now empty ramen bowl and called for his own next serving.
Kisame looked over at the kid and had to fight back the impulse to smack him. "You brought your ramen with you?"
Naruto looked up at him as if the answer was obvious. "Well, yea. If you two were going to have an epic showdown or something I wasn't going to watch without a snack."
Jiraiya burst out laughing at the child's audacity while Kisame just grumbled about disrespectful students.
"So, Jiraiya-sama, you're not going to take the kid back by force or anything? 'Cause that would really put a cramp in me teaching him everything I know and unleashing him upon the world."
Jiraiya pondered this for a moment before shrugging "I'm extremely loyal to my home, don't get me wrong, but I'm more loyal to the kid's parents when it comes down to it. Konoha let it happen, no matter the excuse, and he seems happy with you. We'll just have to talk later about a couple of requests that I'd like to make about his training before we part ways. Though you may want to think about joining up with a hidden village soon, because I'll have to report that I'd found him, and Konoha will want to get him back."
Kisame just grunted in acknowledgement.
Naruto piped up from the side "yea, we've been following the progress of the civil war in Kiri, once we get enough info about it we were thinking of going and pitching in."
Jiraiya looked at Kisame for conformation, the Shark-like Nin nodded, making Jiraiya nod back in turn. "From what I've gotten out of there in the past few years, the resistance is actually starting to gain ground, something about an up-and-coming Kunoichi that's really strategy savvy and really strong for her age."
"Name?"
"Only a family name, Terumi."
Kisame gave a short, pleased laugh. "I knew a Terumi back when I was still there before the purges started, he was a damn good Shinobi, able to use both Yōton and Futton, damn shame he's probably dead by now. Who knows, though, this kid could be his little girl."
"Ano, Kisame-sama, would I be safe going back there?" Haku asked from his reclaimed seat.
Jiraiya gave a start and looked over at the child before turning back to Kisame. "Cute kid, what's her name?"
Haku suddenly felt the inexplicable urge to form an ice knife and stab this Jiraiya.
"I am a boy, and my name is Haku!"
Jiraiya gave a start and looked back at Haku, squinting his eyes just a little bit. "Are you half and half?"
Giving off the roar of an enraged child, Haku jumped at the Gama Sennin in a cry of fury and proceeded to try his best to kill him. He promised to do the same to Naruto and Kisame when their uproarious laughter reached his ears.
The two legends and two legends in training were sitting around inside of a recently rented Hotel room, discussing Naruto's life up until that point in time, with Kisame and Jiraiya hammering out the details of a deal that they hadn't deemed necessary to reveal to the children yet.
"So, he signs it and starts to study seals in depth, sometimes going to the mountain to train with you and in return, we go to Kiri to help out with that war and try and get the resources of a Hidden Village behind us again, and you'll get off my back about him?"
Jiraiya stared back with an unusually serious expression on his face before giving a nod. 'I promised his father that I'd look after him, I've obviously failed on that front but you seem to be doing just as good of a job as I could. I personally don't see a problem with the arrangement, and Hiruzen-sensei will understand. If not the worst that he'll do is try and chop off my junk."
Kisame winced and nodded his acquiescence to the plan, before standing up and offering his hand to the Sennin sitting across from him. Jiraiya followed suit and they clasped wrists, sealing the deal.
"So, now that all of the serious shit for the night is out of the way, I've got a request, Jiraiya-sama."
Jiraiya looked back at Kisame speculatively, silently inviting him to make it.
Kisame gave a huge shark grin, this one for once not threatening, and pulled out a scroll. In a puff of smoke a whole pile of mint-condition books and paraphernalia appeared on it, Kisame standing behind it with a smile as smooth as a used-car salesman's.
"Sign my Icha-Icha first edition collector's books and memorabilia!" he asked with his most inviting smile.
Jiraiya just laughed and pulled out a pen that had "Author's Friend Autograph Pen" printed on the side "I'd be delighted to Kisame-kun; I always love meeting a fan!"
Naruto and Haku both gave of identical sighs of long suffering, and locked eyes, wondering what they must have done in past lives to deserve something like this.
"So I just sign it?"
"Yep."
"In blood?"
"Uh huh."
"And then do my finger prints?"
"Damn it brat! Just do as I told you so I can teach you this and be on my way!"
"Alright alright, yeesh don't have a heart attack grandpa" he agreed, with no small amount of suspicion in his voice. Naruto knelt down next to the scroll that Jiraiya had produced via a Toad summon. Taking out a kunai he nicked his finger with it and started signing. Given his regeneration rate he'd had to cut himself three more times just to finish it all.
Jiraiya had spent the night at the same hotel as the other three, in the morning they'd all gone out to a nearby field and, after Haku had visited the site of Zabuza's cremation and been able to say his goodbyes, started training.
Off to the side Kisame was drilling Haku in what he knew, and correcting and teaching him new tricks where applicable. He had to admit, he didn't seem the type but Zabuza had apparently been a pretty good teacher. Not as good as himself, of course, he thought, but still decent nonetheless.
Naruto had already been given a beginners guide to seals, and after he'd identified and blown through everything in that and half the intermediate book just that morning, Jiraiya had given him the advanced book for after he finished with his current one and started him on the basics of summoning. Kisame and Haku had been originally astounded at Naruto's fast pace with seals, Kisame more-so because he knew just how hellacious that particular ninja art was to learn. After Jiraiya had explained a bit of the history of the Uzumaki family, and that his master that he'd learned the art from in that clan had made both him and Minato Namikaze, who'd in turn outstripped Jiraiya by light years, like toddlers scrabbling around in the dark, Kisame just let it go.
"Okay, here I go" Naruto started, he formed the hand seals and started to gather Chakra. Jiraiya was suitably impressed at the amount he was able to generate so early in his life. And even more impressed when it kept rising. When Naruto started to reach the amount of Chakra that Jiraiya actively had running through his coils when he was completely rested up Jiraiya started to freak out. Before he could stop him, it was too late.
With a cry of "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Naruto slammed his bleeding palm into the ground and generated a gigantic puff of smoke.
Jiraiya looked up at what he knew was coming, and paled and whimpered at the enraged yell that came forth. All he managed to squeak out was a weak "oh balls."
"JIRAIYA! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF SUMMONING ME! I THOUGHT I MADE IT CLEAR THAT YOU HAD PENANCE TO PAY AFTER YOU USED ME TO ESCAPE THE WOMEN IN TSUCHI NO KUNI!"
'Yea' Jiraiya thought 'I'm boned'.
High above him, Gamabunta loomed, scarred face glowering down menacingly.
Some of you might be able to see where this is going by now, and I actually hope that someone will take it up as a chaptered fic and flesh out the chapters a lot more and do it justice. If not, well I can keep going as a semi-serious series for a while. I might even go as far as to make it its own fic eventually, but to have chapters that were actually worth a damn I'd have to combine the four existing ones just to make the first a decent length.
PS: Gamabunta is only in all caps because he's pissed as all hell, there will be no bold bold italics or even just italics to any Summon/Demon/Jutsu anything other than inner thought, it annoys me when people do that. Yea, I annoy easily, so what?