Author's Note: I know this update is a little later than usual, but I did update my other fics so I'm hoping you'll forgive me for it :) As always, your comments and support are greatly appreciated. Enjoy :)
As the curtain closes, the auditorium erupts into applause and she tries to maintain her laughter as Tony and Felix hoot and holler quite loudly, breaking the static sound of uniformed praise. She looks to her left and Cosima is giggling now, too, shaking her head in playful disapproval. With the performance concluded, the audience begins to flood out of the auditorium and into the main foyer and she does her best to keep Cosima in her field of vision as she follows the quirky young girl through the sea of people.
"So? What did you think?" Cosima asks, wriggling her eyebrows.
"It was... well..."
Before she can finish her train of thought, Tony is jumping on her back and she stumbles forward, nearly toppling over in her startled state. The young ruffian just laughs and grins like a fool, planting a sloppy kiss upon her cheek like it's the most normal thing in the world. She barely knows Cosima's friends and yet, she somehow finds herself fitting into this strange family.
"How did you enjoy the the-a-ter?" he teases.
She's never been too keen on the theater herself. Her mother once took her to see a performance of Salome when she was much younger and she remembers hating it, being completely uninterested. Of course, she was only a child and the opera dealt with quite adult themes that she hadn't been able to engage with. When Cosima invited her to see Alison star in her theater company's newest production, she could hardly say no. It was Cosima asking her, after all. She'd been nervous and uncertain of how to conduct herself around Cosima's friends, but Tony and Felix had been more than welcoming. They'd sat front and center, watching Alison sing and dance with thundering enthusiasm.
"It was... nice," Delphine settles on.
"Nice? Just nice?" Tony repeats.
"Don't tell Alison that," Felix quips. "She may just bite your head off, perfect hair and all."
"Come on, guys. Leave her alone," Cosima laughs.
The boys shrug, prancing off to wait for Alison to emerge from backstage. Delphine worries her bottom lip between her teeth and Cosima grins up at her.
"Thanks for coming," she says.
She leans up onto her toes to kiss the taller blonde, but Delphine quickly moves her head away so that the kiss catches the corner of her lips instead. Cosima regards her with a quizzical look and Delphine frowns.
"Sorry," she apologizes. "Just... not here."
Cosima cocks her head.
"Okay?" she reluctantly agrees.
She doesn't mean to hurt Cosima's feelings, but they're standing in public with hundreds of bodies surrounding them, hundreds of eyes potentially staring, potentially belonging to a familiar face. She knows there are other students at her school who are also a part of the same theater company, possibly in the audience or close by. What if they're spotted? What would that mean for her already difficult school life?
She'd asked Cosima not to tell anybody about their relationship, not even her friends. The brunette didn't understand. She isn't ashamed of Cosima, not even close. She just isn't sure if she is ready to have all eyes on them just yet. She isn't even sure what they are, exactly. All she knows is how she feels and she doesn't want to share it with anyone else. Why should she? This is theirs. What exists between them is theirs, something that they created. Why should anyone else have a right to it? When she's with Cosima, she can be the person she always wanted to be, the person she always knew she was. It makes her feel powerful, being a part of something that is uniquely their own. When she'd made the mistake of telling Doctor Leekie, he'd tried to tear it down and taint it. She won't give anyone else the opportunity.
"Are you down for the after party?" Cosima asks, slowly walking alongside Delphine as they try to catch up with Felix and Tony.
"After party?"
"Yeah. One of Alison's theater buddies is hosting it," Cosima explains. "She invited us. I'm driving."
She can sense by Cosima's tone that the shorter girl is trying to hide her disappointment at being rejected for a kiss and all she wants to do is pull her aside, somewhere where no one is watching and kiss the ill from her body.
"I guess I'm coming, too," she replies.
Cosima finds a faint smile again and as they look up ahead, they spot Felix and Tony teasing Alison, who is holding a bouquet of flowers. Alison waves at them and Tony immediately makes a point to call shotgun, racing towards Cosima's Jeep with Felix and Alison in tow.
The two girls remain unhurried.
As soon as they push through the doors and enter into the parking lot, Delphine quickly scans the area. Most people are busy getting into their cars and driving off. Tony, Felix and Alison are standing by Cosima's Jeep, bickering with each other as they wait for Cosima to come and unlock it. No one seems to be paying any attention to them. In an act of rashness, she grabs Cosima's arm and pulls her behind a large, cement column that shields them from all gazes. Cosima looks startled for a moment, but when Delphine presses her lips firmly to hers, she closes her eyes and melts into the gesture.
It's a simple kiss, but it's elating. When she finally releases Cosima from her grasp, the tiny brunette is grinning from ear-to-ear, her previous rejection so far in the past and forgotten. She squeezes Delphine's hand.
"Let's go."
She wanders around the spacious and impeccably decorated living room in search of a friendly face. When they first arrived, they immediately ditched their three companions in search of some privacy. They had to settle for the laundry room in the basement, barricading the door with an ironing board and some laundry baskets. Safe inside, she latched onto Cosima like a dead man to his dying breath, drinking her, breathing her. They panted against each other in the dark as Cosima backed her up against the dryer and teased at her neck with gentle licks and nips. She mewed quickly in the musty room, much too aware of the heat between her legs and Cosima's hips pressing against her own. A couple of weeks had passed since they shared their very first kiss and their lip locks were becoming more bold, more brazen and heated. It was almost becoming unbearable and yet, they never did break the barrier of clothing. She was almost too shy to touch Cosima, afraid that the smaller girl might disintegrate beneath her touch. Cosima seemed to be conscious of this fact, as well. She was mindful of Delphine in all ways, only touching when encouraged, never taking too much.
Their encounter had been cut short when Cosima's cell phone began to vibrate violently in the pocket of her jeans, the sensation teasing the blonde. Cosima apologized and pulled the blasted device from its sheath, nearly barking into it. It had been Tony, calling to see where she was. Alison had made a drunken fool out of herself and they were in dire need of backup. Cosima had groaned as she pulled herself from Delphine and the two of them straightened themselves out before rejoining the party upstairs. As she walks through what she can only describe as a mansion and watches myriads of people laugh and dance and shout and play, she can't help but feel out of place. She takes a seat on the sofa next to a couple engaged in what has to be the beginnings of intercourse. She folds her hands in her lap and scans the room nervously, wishing she was back in the laundry room with Cosima.
"Sooo..."
The voice belongs to Tony, who's accompanied by Felix. He pushes the couple off the sofa and they fall to floor, seemingly unaware of their change in location as they continue to slip their hands under each other's clothing. The hormonal pair is quickly forgotten as soon as Tony and Felix slot themselves into the space they previously occupied.
"Hello, Tony," Delphine greets him with a smile.
She's awash with relief and the gruff young boy slips an arm around her neck just as any good friend would do, offering her a wink and a cheeky smile. Felix is giddy and grinning, as well, and she wonders just how much alcohol the two have consumed.
"You see, Fee and I sorta have a bet going," Tony proclaims.
"A bet?"
"Yes, darling. Just a harmless game, that's all," Felix adds. "We're hoping you can help us out."
"Oh," she remarks, uncertain in their intentions." What kind of bet?"
The two exchange glances, their smirks only widening.
"Well, you see, I think there's no way that a fine, polite lady such as yourself would ever give it up so easily," Tony begins. "But my buddy, Felix, disagrees."
Her brow furrows in confusion.
"Pardon?"
"We just wanna know how far you've gone," Tony replies, gently squeezing her shoulder. "You know. With Cosima."
"How far I've gone?" she repeats, still not following the conversation.
"She's clueless," Felix sighs.
"Are we talking second base? Third?" Tony presses.
"I... I... what?"
These are euphemisms that she doesn't understand. She wonders if it's a language barrier or if she's just naive; even after living in North America for as long as she has, a lot of the slang still puzzles her at times.
"Don't tell me you've run all the way home already?" Tony exclaims, nearly leaping from the sofa. "Damn! The puppy has some bite!"
"Oi! Enough of that, yeah?"
They turn to acknowledge Sarah, who's finally made her appearance. Tony and Felix rise from the sofa laughing like a pack of wild hyenas, clearly amused by the way their conversation has gone down. Sarah seems unimpressed.
"Oh, come on. We're just having a bit of fun," Felix teases.
"Yeah! I've got ten bucks on this bet," Tony adds.
"Quit being dicks. Go find someone else to harass," Sarah barks.
The two boys giggle all the way out of the living room, grabbing a red solo cup right out of another guy's hand before they disappear through the doorway. Sarah plops down into their seat on the sofa and Delphine offers her a grateful smile.
"Sorry about them. They don't know when to stop," Sarah tells her.
"It's okay."
She tucks her hair behind her ear, suddenly feeling naked under Sarah's perceptive gaze. The brunette has a protective air about her, like a lioness protecting her pride. She wonders if Sarah sees her as a threat, if she'll lash out and scare her off, or if she'll slowly coax her in. It's hard for her to tell with the punk.
"How's everything going with you and Cos?" Sarah finally asks.
Delphine suddenly realizes what Sarah is implying, what Tony and Felix were implying with their "bet." Her heart stops beating momentarily and her eyes widen in fear. Their secret is out. She feels an icy panic course through her veins.
"She didn't say anything, if you're wondering," Sarah clarifies. "You'd have to be blind not to see it."
Delphine nods, swallowing the lump in her throat. Her instinct is to panic, but before she allows the anxiety to take over, she looks over and notices that Sarah is smiling back at her. It isn't very common for the Brit to smile at anyone and, oddly, it reminds her somewhat of Cosima's own smile. It eases her nerves before they have a chance to seize control.
"Things are... well," she replies.
There's no use trying to hide it now, no use pretending. She realizes that she feels strangely safe with Sarah, with the others, as well. They're Cosima's family. That means they're her family now, too, right? Is that why Sarah is sitting here, talking to her?
"She looks pretty happy, yeah?" Sarah mumbles, as if her thoughts are in a far off place.
"I-I think so. I hope so," Delphine nods.
Sarah nods. It's as if she's suddenly come to realize something, as if she's made up her mind. Delphine stares in wonder, waiting for Sarah to speak. A coy smile slips across the wild girl's features.
"I'm glad she's found someone like you," Sarah concludes.
"I'm glad I've found someone like her," Delphine responds immediately.
Sarah laughs.
She's the lucky one, she's sure of it. Cosima is light and life and a flowing gust of freedom. She's merely a dead leaf in midst of autumn, crumpled and discoloured, gratefully riding Cosima's breeze.
Sarah's expression becomes deadly serious very quickly and she opens her mouth, only no words come out. She searches for them, displaying a sense of carefulness and consideration that isn't intrinsic to the punk.
"I know that... well...," she begins, struggling with the words. "It can't be easy."
She's struck by confusion again.
"What isn't easy?"
Sarah looks over, her eyes narrowing. She nods, as if there's a silent understanding between the two of them.
"You know," she says knowingly.
Delphine shakes her head, her brow furrowing.
"Know what?"
Sarah stares at her a moment longer, regarding her with care. The blonde feels incredibly scrutinized and she folds her arms over her chest in a bid for makeshift armor. She's able to pinpoint the exact moment when shock flashes through Sarah's eyes, the brunette finally discerning that Delphine is oblivious.
"Nothing," she says quietly. "I'm gonna go find my brother before he terrorizes someone else. I'll talk to you later, yeah?"
Before Delphine has a chance to ask any more questions, Sarah is up and gone. Her leg bounces anxiously as she mulls over Sarah's words, over her tone, over the look in her eyes. What was that look? It was more than just shock. It looked like concern, maybe even... pity? No, that's the wrong word. She isn't sure what she saw, but she knows she's seen it before, only it had been in Doctor Leekie's eyes.
She stands, deciding to go and find Cosima once again. When she'd left her, Cosima was tending to Alison. She'd told Delphine to go enjoy the party while she took care of the mess and the blonde had hesitantly shuffled away, not wanting to get in anyone's way. She spots Cosima on the back patio through the glass door, carefully dabbing Alison's brow with a damp cloth. Sarah is there, as well, standing over the two of them with a scowl on her face. She appears to be snapping at Cosima, though Delphine can't make out the words. By the time she makes her way over to the door leading out to the patio, Sarah and Cosima have spotted her and the conversation seems to have ended. Cosima smiles at her through the glass while Sarah turns away.
"Is... everything okay?" Delphine asks, looking back and forth between Sarah and Cosima.
"Yeah. Everything's fine," Cosima tells her. "We're just trying to figure out what to do with Alison here."
At the sound of her name, Alison begins to mumble what she thinks is one of her lines from her play. The girl is clearly in a state of black out drunkenness, barely able to keep her eyes open and unable to stand. Cosima is supporting her from behind, trying to coax her back into the realm of consciousness.
Sarah scoffs, pushing by Delphine and stalking back into the house. The French girl watches her as she goes, confused. Once Sarah is out of sight, she turns back to Cosima.
"Sarah is upset," she concludes.
"Forget about Sarah," Cosima mumbles, trying to lift Alison to her feet. "Would you help me with her?"
Delphine nods, darting over to sling one of Alison's arms over her neck. They slowly help the intoxicated girl to her feet and guide her back into the house to rejoin the rest of the party.
"Is she going to be okay?" Delphine asks, maneuvering through a group of people all congregated in the doorway to the living room.
"She'll be fine. She just needs to sleep it off," Cosima replies. "But I think I'd better take her home. I'm the only one fit to drive, anyway."
"That's questionable."
Delphine helps Cosima bring Alison out to her car and they struggle to get the uptight brunette into the back seat. Cosima nearly topples over and busts her head on the pavement, but they eventually find success. Cosima slips into the driver's seat while Delphine climbs into the other side. As they drive towards Alison's house, the budding starlet continues to mumble nonsensical phrases in the back, spurring laughter from Cosima who tries her best to respond and keep up a conversation. Delphine's head is elsewhere, though. Pressed against the window, she stares outside and dwells on Sarah's words.
When they finally pull up to Alison's house, it's a little easier getting her out of Cosima's Jeep. Delphine manages to somehow piggyback her all the way to the front door while Cosima fishes through Alison's purse for her keys. They open the front door and slowly proceed inside, mindful of anyone who may be lurking.
"Just leave her on the couch there," Cosima whispers, pointing towards the piece of furniture.
Delphine nods, lowering Alison down. They say their quiet goodbyes and quickly leave before Alison's parents come home and find their daughter inebriated. Cosima laughs all the way to the car, skipping and pleased with herself.
"Do you want me to drop you off at your place?"
"I suppose. It's getting late," Delphine answers.
"Yeah."
The entire drive, she considers asking Cosima about Sarah but every time she opens her mouth to speak, Cosima asks her "what?" with such a dopey, loving grin that she can't bring herself to strip it away. They pull up into Delphine's driveway and Cosima leans in to give her a kiss goodnight. Delphine is less receptive than she would have hoped.
"What? What is it?" Cosima asks her.
"Would you... do you want to... maybe come inside?"
Cosima pulls back, surprised and a little impressed.
"Inside?"
"Yes."
"With you?"
"Yes."
"In your bedroom?"
"Yes."
She looks around, as if she's inspecting for any watchful eyes.
"Is that... okay?"
"My parents are probably asleep. If they're not, I don't think they'd have a problem with a friend sleeping over," Delphine explains. "They're worried that I don't socialize enough as it is."
Cosima grins.
"A "friend," huh?"
Delphine leads her carefully up the stairs to her bedroom. There's no sign of her parents yet and she knows they're probably sleeping, but she doesn't care enough to check. Once she has Cosima in her room, she shuts the door and inhales a shaky breath. Her room feel different than before. It is different. The walls, a playful pink from her childhood, now seem more salmon coloured, more mature with Cosima standing within them. The lighting seems dimmer, not as harsh, but even still she races towards her bedside lamp and flicks it on, opting for its glow instead. She stands over her bed, looking down at it. It seems bigger.
"Would you... do you need something to sleep in?" she asks, walking over to her dresser.
"Oh. I usually just sleep naked," Cosima remarks.
Delphine freezes with a hand in a drawer, a sudden flush overcoming her.
Cosima.
Naked.
In her bed.
Cosima laughs quietly, nervously.
"Nevermind. Throw me something."
Delphine nods, tossing an old t-shirt over to Cosima. She turns her back on the brunette as she begins to change into her own pajamas but she can't help herself from stealing a quick peek from behind her shoulder. Cosima's back is to her, but she's topless. It's a glorious back, tanned and smooth, all the notches in her spine perfectly in place. Cosima pulls the oversized t-shirt over her head and Delphine quickly looks away, pulling her own top and pajama pants on. When she turns back around to face Cosima, she's wearing nothing but her underwear and that large, borrowed shirt which covers to her mid-thigh. Delphine gulps, walking back over to the bed. She pulls the covers down and slips inside, waiting for Cosima to do the same. Once they're both under the covers, she flicks the lamp off.
They lay in silence for a few minutes, neither of them touching. She's breathing heavy now, the air between them thick, and she can tell by Cosima's heavy breathing that the girl is struggling with the proximity, as well. She lightly brushes her fingers across Cosima's arm and hears a gasp. The sheets rustle as Cosima turns to face her and they stare into each other's dilated pupils for a moment before Cosima inches even closer and closes the distance between them.
She sighs into her kisses, sinking back into the mattress as Cosima maneuvers herself on top of her. She strokes Delphine's hair as she kisses her, her touch remains chaste. Her free hand seeks out Delphine's, their fingers intwining as she deepens the kiss with a slip of her tongue and Delphine moans against her. It's the blonde who breaks their stalemate first, her hand freeing itself from Cosima's and curiously gliding lower. She makes contact with Cosima's bare thigh and they both gasp loudly, burned. As she strokes the softness of Cosima's thigh, the shorter girl moans into her ear.
"You feel so good," Cosima whispers, her own handing finding the hem of Delphine's sleep shirt.
She slips it underneath, her hand slowly trailing upwards. stroking her stomach, her ribs. Delphine is panting like a dog in the desert and when Cosima's hand makes contact with her bare breast, she whimpers.
It's too much.
She rips her hand away from Cosima's thigh and grabs the brunette's wrist, stopping her ministrations.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Cosima asks her.
"Oui."
She's okay.
In fact, she's so okay, she may just explode. She doesn't know how to tell Cosima, how to say you're in me without even being in me. Her eyes well up with tears and she bites her lower lip, trying to silence herself.
"Can we just... lay?"
Cosima smiles down at her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Sure. Of course."
She rolls off Delphine and pulls the blonde closer until her head is resting on her chest. She listens to Cosima's shallow breaths, her pounding heartbeat, until they eventually sync up. They fall asleep hand-in-hand, their hearts beating in double-timed unison.