touka why are you so stubborn
It had been nearly two months since the raid on Anteiku. Hide and Kaneki, along with Hinami, Banjou, and his friends, had been staying in their shared home for that period of time. At first, it had just been Hide and Kaneki, but the group decided to regroup there one night and found them playing a card game with each other on the kitchen table. Playing games took the edge off of things; it helped to calm everyone's anxious minds. They tried to do it as often as they could, which was pretty often. It's not like anyone had anywhere to be.
Tsukiyama's whereabouts were unknown.
Kaneki, for a period of time, seemed lost. Hide found himself bringing his friend back to reality more and more often, and frankly, it was starting to worry him. He was afraid Kaneki was going to relapse once again, and Hide promised himself not to let that happen.
One good thing that he noticed, though, was that he was getting more sleep lately, which was definitely a sign of improvement. For a while after the attack, Kaneki hardly slept, and when he did, he tossed and turned, plagued by constant nightmares. Hide had been awoken in the middle of the night on multiple occasions—all of which Kaneki apologized for later—by his bedmate's thrashing. He would then spend up to an hour consoling him until they both fell back asleep, and the cycle would repeat. But, thankfully, the nightmares seemed to dissipate with time, as he stopped flailing in his sleep and the bags under his eyes slowly disappeared. Hide hadn't been awakened in over two and a half weeks.
Consistent training continued to help his body get into shape. Hide nearly cried with joy when he took his shirt off one day and, for the first time, noticed the outline of abs on his stomach. He immediately showed them to Kaneki, who in turn took off his shirt and revealed his extremely toned body. "Well, we can't all be as perfect as you, Kaneki," Hide teased.
No matter how much he teased, though, he couldn't deny that Kaneki's body was a definite turn on. And Kaneki freaking knew it.
Pushing thoughts of a shirtless Kaneki out of his mind, Hide focused on preparing coffee for everyone that morning. Normally, Kaneki would do it, but he was still sleeping, and Hide felt no obligation to wake him from his much needed rest. They'd used all their good quality coffee, so he was forced to brew instant. Not that he would have gone for the good stuff anyways—there was no doubt that he sucked at making it. Instant was more his style.
After the coffee was made, he made his way to the small sitting area and handed a cup to Hinami and Banjou, who occupied it. Sitting down, he sipped from his own cup, noting the huge difference between his and Kaneki's coffee. Nonetheless, Hinami and Banjou drank it with no complaints.
"Hide-onii-san," Hinami began, her tone more solemn and lacking its usual peppiness. She set down her coffee. "When are things going to go back to normal?"
Hide offered her a small smile. "I don't know, Hinami. All we can do is hope for the best." He sighed into his cup before placing it down on the table in between the two couches.
"How's Kaneki doing?" Banjou asked.
"I can tell he's getting better," Hide replied. "He's getting more sleep and isn't spacing out as much."
"Ah, that's good to hear. I was worried about him."
"Yeah, we all were." We all still are, Hide finished in his mind.
It was then that Kaneki appeared in the sitting room. "Morning, everyone," he said as he entered. Stretching, he ran a hand through his messy hair and took a seat next to Hide. "Did you make coffee?" he asked him.
"Yep! You want some?"
Kaneki smiled. "Yeah, that would be nice."
Hide got up to fetch Kaneki a cup. Upon return, he saw that Kaneki went to stand next to Hinami, helping her read a word in the book she'd been engrossed in for the past few days. Hide tapped his shoulder and handed him his coffee when he turned around. "Thanks, Hide," he said. "You got it, Hinami?"
"Mhmm," she replied, nodding.
Kaneki took a sip of the coffee and went to sit back down. He nursed it for a while before drinking it again and then quickly downing the rest. The good news—Hide was definitely improving his coffee-making skills. The bad news—it still sucked. But he drank it anyways, as Hinami and Banjou did earlier.
Kaneki was beginning to feel better lately. He had fallen into a sort of depression he thought he would never come out of after the attack on Anteiku. Thankfully, he'd been wrong. He could tell that every day he felt a little stronger, a little more focused. He was glad Hide had been there for him; without him, he didn't know if he could have pulled himself out.
He wanted to show Hide how much he truly meant to him.
The name of the mysterious ghoul dropped off the mouths of practically everyone in the CCG. Conversations about it were hushed, as if it were some secret matter. But it wasn't, because everyone knew.
A ghoul had somehow managed to slip past Arima Kishou.
The tale became more falsified as it passed on. Some said Arima managed to land a hit on it; others said it managed to land a hit on Arima. Some even went so far as to say they battled and it barely managed to escape alive. But all spoke of its undeniably incredible speed.
"Did you hear of that one ghoul? You know, the one that got past Arima."
"I don't believe that. It has to be made up, right?"
"No, it's true! I heard from a higher-up what Arima told the chairman himself."
"Well, what happened then?"
"They said it just flew right past him. No hits or anything. It was there and then it was gone."
"So it was too fast for even Arima to hit?"
"Apparently so. I've also heard that it was carrying another ghoul with it. Don't know if that's true yet, though, so you didn't hear it from me."
"I just can't believe something actually got passed him. Well, they have to have named it by now, right? What are they calling it?"
"Flyer."
It was late. Hide had left the house some time ago. He wasn't sure how long he had been walking aimlessly around the streets of Tokyo, but he knew it had been at least over an hour and a half. He probably needed to head back soon so the others wouldn't worry; even though he took frequent walks like this, everyone was still on edge, and the last thing he wanted to do was stir up the group over something as trivial as coming home late.
Funny, it was Hinami who usually scolded people. Hide hadn't thought she was the type at first, but he later found that she had strong maternal instincts—much like Kaneki when it came to his close friends. Hide concluded that, after losing her mother, she had to become her own and then gradually became everyone else's. He didn't mind, though. He liked having someone looking after him, even if it were someone around six years younger.
Turning around, he began to head back home. He readjusted his eye patch—he'd finally remembered to wear it—as he waded through the sea of people on the sidewalk, faintly hungry.
Their food reserve had been destroyed along with Anteiku, which meant they had to hunt. Hide was extremely grateful Kaneki didn't ask him to go with him when he went; he wasn't and probably never would be up to killing humans. He could tell Kaneki hated it as well, but he was the only one that could do it. Banjou and his friends couldn't fight well, Hinami was too young, and Hide couldn't bring himself to. So, every now and then, Kaneki went out with an empty body bag and came back with a full one.
Hide noticed a trend in who he brought back. They were usually older people, never young. Most of the time they were sickly looking, even. Kaneki didn't want to end the life of someone who was just getting on their feet or who may have had a family who depended on them. Elders would be missed, of course, but, in his eyes, it was better to take the life of someone who had already lived the majority of theirs.
That didn't make it right, though. Hide still felt extremely guilty after each small meal he had to keep himself going. He'd depleted his sugar cube supply entirely, and since there was no place to get anymore, he was forced to eat meat from there out.
He was ashamed to admit that it was getting easier, even if he did feel a pang of guilt afterwards.
Hide continued walking. Night had fallen at some point. He made it into the less crowded area and knew he was getting closer to home. Suddenly, he heard a voice from close by.
"Go to hell, where you belong."
Even though it was spoken lowly, Hide's enhanced hearing was able to pick it up. He backtracked to an alleyway he passed a few seconds before and peeked into it. Darkness shrouded whatever was in it. Hide cautiously crept closer as his eyes adjusted to the inky blackness. Two figures came into focus.
One figure was standing over the other, who was lying motionless on the ground. The person standing wore a rabbit mask and a hood, and a briefcase was next to the still body. Hide knew instantly who it was.
"Hey!" he said as quietly as he could, approaching Touka cautiously. Touka turned in surprise at the sound of his voice. Upon seeing him, she took off. "Wait!" he called after her. Hide gave chase, bringing out his kagunes and following her through the alleyways between the buildings. It was a narrow space that gave little room for him to swing, so he mainly relied on his wings to keep him going. Soon enough, after a few turns, he caught up to her and tackled her in midair, sending them both falling to the ground.
"What the hell?" she snapped, ripping off her mask and revealing her face, which was contorted in anger. "Get lost!"
"I just want to know what you're doing, Touka. Killing investigators would draw attention to us, wouldn't it?" Hide replied evenly.
"Yeah, well, those bastards need to pay for what they did."
He sighed. "I don't really know what you're trying to accomplish."
"You don't need to know."
So this was her outlet. While Kaneki became depressed after the attack, Touka became angry and restless. The Touka from when they'd visited her house had completely disappeared; instead of expressing her emotions from there out, she was distant and cold, rarely seeing anybody except Yomo, who checked up on her whether she liked it or not. Yomo she couldn't control, but she had become skilled at avoiding Kaneki and Hide when they went to see her.
"Touka, listen to me," Hide said, voice strained. "You're putting everyone in danger by doing this. They'll send more investigators out here—you know that, so why are you doing this? It's not helping anyone, and it's certainly not helping you. You have to let go of your anger. What happened, happened. There's nothing we can do to change it now."
"Do you ever shut up?"
Hide winced at her words, but he continued on. "Killing people isn't going to solve anything, it's just going to make it wor—"
"Do you think I don't know what I'm doing?" Touka snapped. "I don't give a shit anymore, okay? I have nothing. I tried to play human, I tried to blend in, and look where it got me. This is what happens to ghouls who think they're actually worth something. I was going to go to university, I was going to do something with my pathetic life, but my only chance was ripped out of my hands. You can't possibly begin to understand, got it? You've been human. You got to live the life that I never did. So you can shut the hell up about what I'm doing, because you don't and never will get it. I'll kill as many people as I want because that's who I am. I'm a fucking monster."
Hide frowned. "You're not a monster, Touka; you shouldn't think that way of yourself. And you're right—I don't understand. But I think you shouldn't end more lives just because you're angry, okay? You should channel your anger into something different."
"Oh, yeah? Like what?"
"Err…" He scratched his cheek. "Board games?"
"Fucking idiot," she mumbled under her breath.
"No, I'm serious! It really helps. We've been playing them a lot. It helps to take your mind off of things for a little while."
Her face softened for a split second before hardening again. Hide could tell she was in deep emotional strife. He wanted to help her, he really did, but he couldn't when she wasn't willing to be helped. "Thanks, but no thanks," she replied. "Now leave before I make you regret ever following me."
"Alright, I'm going." He paused before adding, "You should really stop by soon. Even if he doesn't say it, Kaneki is worried about you, you know."
Touka turned away from him and ran off. Sighing, Hide rubbed the back of his neck before finding his way out of the alleyway and beginning to head home again. He hated seeing Touka like this. He was convinced she would cool down soon, though. She would finally realize that channeling her anger into killing people—even if they were investigators, who had killed many of them—wasn't helping, and then she would come to them. Maybe he should talk to Yomo about keeping a closer eye on her.
When he finally arrived home, Hinami and Kaneki were waiting in the sitting area waiting for him. "There you are, Hide-onii-san!" Hinami exclaimed when he opened the door and entered the house. "We were worried about you!" She ran up to give him a hug. Hide smiled and rubbed her head.
Kaneki stood and walked over to him. Hinami stepped back as Kaneki wrapped his arms around Hide and murmured in his ear, "I'm glad you're safe."
"Yeah." Hide hugged him back, taking in a deep breath and inhaling his scent. He'd just showered, and he smelled clean and wonderful.
"I'll tell everyone you're back," Hinami said before leaving the room. Hide and Kaneki didn't move. Eventually, they pulled apart and both leaned in and began kissing gently. Kaneki's tongue glided over Hide's bottom lip, who gladly introduced his own into the mix. Pulling Hide closer, Kaneki ran his hands up and down his hips. Hide pulled back.
"Maybe we should take this somewhere else," he breathed, flushed. Kaneki was red as well, and Hide couldn't remember a time when he looked as captivating and alluring as he did then.
"Let's go," Kaneki said, grabbing his hand and leading him to their bedroom. Hide didn't need to be told twice. He followed him eagerly, all the while thinking how funny it was how tightly Kaneki was gripping his hand. It's not like he was going anywhere but with him.
As soon as they shut the door and locked it behind them, their lips immediately found their way to each other's once more. They hastily removed their shirts and moved backwards towards the bed. Hide sighed in pleasure when Kaneki began kissing and sucking on his neck, but he couldn't contain a small gasp when he sucked on his collarbone. Kaneki made his way back up, trailing kisses as he went before their lips locked once more.
They fell back on the bed, Kaneki on top. In one swift maneuver, Hide flipped them, grinning when he saw Kaneki's unimpressed face. "I can't let you do allthe work, Kaneki," he declared, smile widening, as he leaned down and nibbling on his ear. Shifting, Hide pressed his crotch against Kaneki's and began to move, eliciting a moan from the other. Kaneki took hold of his hips with his hands as he did this, gripping them tightly.
"You know, we might as well get rid of those pesky things," Hide practically purred into the other boy's ear, motioning to his pants. Kaneki quickly obliged and pulled them off of Hide's body before reaching for his own and doing the same. The underwear soon followed.
Despite his earlier confrontation with Touka, Hide would later say that was nothing short of one of the best nights of his life. When he awoke in the morning with Kaneki in his arms, his heart filled with nothing short of pure joy that he wanted to never go away. It was truly amazing just how happy one person out of seven billion could make him.
But, like everything, something had to go wrong.
On the news that very morning, it was announced that the CCG was on the lookout for the two ghouls who had gotten past Arima Kishou.
Hide, now known as Flyer, was the target of a manhunt.
ok so in an effort to keep this fic t-rated, there probably won't be any full on smut scenes unless you guys really want one, otherwise they'll mostly be like this
thanks for reading!