Have you yet to ride a horse bare-back as well as side-saddle? It is…an experience. But it is a necessity and precaution for my ankle as I balance myself upon the curve of Julian's back. His shredded saddle and reins are held by Aeris as we trudge through the forest. No more use could be seized from those this day.
"You okay up there, Danny?" I turn my head down to see Donald looking up at me with a distressed curl to his beak. He really is sweet despite first impressions. Supporting Sora so objectively, he must care for my saviour dearly. All of them must.
"It's a little uncomfortable," I confessed sheepishly as I braced my hands against Julian's mane once again, "but I shall get through it just fine."
Julian nickered irritably, tossing his tail.
I chuckled, stroking his neck tenderly, "I know, Julian. It must not be too comfortable for you either."
He huffed in reply as Aeris stroked his newly heal side, fingers lingering over the faded pink scars, unconsciously rubbing her own shoulder.
Her wound…that she earned 'helping Sora'…
I swallowed past the lump that wedged itself in my throat as I pieced together what could have happened that night with my recently acquired knowledge of the enigma that was Sora.
Penetrating through the last of the burly wood, the mansion towers before us, intimidating onlookers as it unites with the clouding sky. Brick and marble, it smoulders within the sunlight. The very gargoyle figures that haunt the halls are perched atop the peaks and valleys of the varying levels of roofing. Their eyes seem to follow every move my companions and I make as Julian comes to halt in front of the gaping front door.
Descending from upon Julian's back, Aeris curled my arm across her shoulders, proceeding to drag us to the door. Donald, in the mean time, waddled along, encouraging Julian into his stables in order to join us.
Lifting my gaze, I see Axel leaning against the wooden finish. A lungful of air is released, trembling his broad shoulders as his gaze falls upon me, the furrow between his brows fading.
"He's still unconscious, Aeris," he said, eyes flickering briefly between us as I limp way through the door, brushing alongside him. Sweeping a hand across her heavy eye lids - drawing my attention to the dark grooves settled beneath her green orbs – Aeris lowered me to the staircase. Exercising caution as ever with my ankle.
"This time has truly drained him," she said, worrying glazing over her features as Axel comes to kneel by my side.
"I'll see to Danella, Aeris. You and Donald can check on Sora."
Biting her lip in conflict, "Only…if you're okay with that, Danny?"
"Oh, that's more than okay. Believe me – Sora needs your care more than I as of now." With a grateful smile gracing her lips, Aeris and Donald speed up the stairs, heading for the master hall.
Shedding his hat, Axel crimson tresses spring free, stray locks framing his brow as he hitches my skirt back over my calf, exposing my discoloured and misshapen bone. The furrow returns to his brow in full force as he relinquishes a teardrop shaped bottle from his jacket pocket. Misty cream coloured liquid dwells within it before he pops the brass top, tilting it slightly to pour the substance over my swelling ankle. Yelping at the sudden rush of cold that shoots up from the smudge of cream on my skin I sit back on my hands as the bruising heals, fading, turning yellow, before disappearing altogether.
Just like the potion Donald used on Aeris' wound…
A sharp snap surged heat through the pounding veins of my right leg, before settling into a warm pulsing. The bone of my ankle had been popped back into place by a pair of white gloved hands.
I gaped at Axel, wondering why it didn't hurt for him to do that.
"This"- he said gesturing to the bottle he was settling back into his pocket-" is a Tonic. It heals bruises and numbs broken areas. Almost as helpful as a Potion. That's the green stuff, got it memorized?"
Still a little stunned, all I could do was nod as my skirt was corrected.
"Test it out." Axel encouraged me as he gestured to the healed ankle. Biting my lip, I recline my left foot down onto the granite flooring before following with my right, lifting my body weight off the stair and onto my legs. I neither wobble nor flinch as I take a tentative step forward. Rolling it in the air, I feel no pain.
"I feel the need to apologize to you, Danella." Axel's hushed voice catches me off guard as I turn back to see his head buried in his hands. "I should have stopped him. This all could have been avoided if I had."
I frown in silent astonishment and concern. Was he not the one for whom was thrown into a wall for even trying to stop Sora?
"Axel," I said, coming to rest by his side pulling his hand away from his face to see his redden face, "It would have happened sooner or later - with or without your intervention."
I needed to see what Sora had had to show me. It all had to happen, from the necklace, to the confession, to the Heartless attack...
"Sora needed this to happen - and so did I. I'm solely sorry that others got hurt in the progress."
His emerald eyes regarded me before he found himself running a trouble hand through his mane of red hair. "There is something else that I think you should know about all this, Danella. Something I'm sure he has not yet told you."
Heart beating, I support him to continue.
"When Sora…changes – when the Heartless truly takes over – its memories are its own."
"Meaning…?"
"Meaning; Sora doesn't remember what he has done when the Heartless takes total control. Those memories are locked away for what could be months or years on end. Only when he dreams - when his guard is down at its most vulnerable - do the memories resurface. Got it memorized?"
The breath catches in my chest at the thought.
"Almost every night, he remembers what that…thing has done. The lives it's destroyed, the faces of those it's killed, the cries of those that will never see the morrow. And when it comes to Sora…he takes it wholly upon himself."
…
"That's why he said he killed…my parents." I can't help the clutch of pain that seizes my heart as I utter those words, "He doesn't separate his actions from the Heartless' to his own. He blames himself. For everything."
'I killed them… '…I can't stand it. Not after what I have done… '…Maybe then you will see me for the monster I was; am; and will be…'
…I did it – it's my fault! It's all my fault!
…You are here to ever remind me of my weakness and darkness…
"Axel?" I called his attention, never daring to look him in the eye as I recall every other harsh word Sora spoke regarding himself, "What…happened, after I left?"
I didn't miss the flinch out the corner of my eye as his hair earned another restless comb through.
"It was almost as if your absence from this mansion outweighed the control Sora holds within." Axel said, biting past his tongue, "It snapped before he could even reach the front door. Aeris, Donald and I raced after it with Julian as the Heartless disappeared into the forest. We were afraid you wouldn't even survive the night…what with the storm and that Heartless…"
"But you had faith in Sora." I deduced, recalling his words from the woods.
"Yeah, we all still do. We know he's strong enough to fight it, even if he does not seem to think so himself."
I hummed in confirmation. He truly did not think much of his own strength. But... he was strong enough to stop it this time. He saved me…once again.
"You know…I believe Sora is doomed to save me from the Heartless for the rest of our lives."
We chuckled shortly together as my thoughts drifted towards the young man lying unconscious after such an ordeal.
"He's in the master bathroom," Axel said, lips twitching as he twiddled his thumbs, "if you were wondering…"
Smiling gratefully as I quickly threw my arm round his neck and shoulder for a lopsided embrace, I thanked him before quickly making my way to the grand marble bathroom.
Coasting to stop in front of the bathroom door, I draw in an unsteady breath as I lift my pale fingers to slide it open.
The sight of Aeris' extensive platted brunette hair is the first to draw my eye as she hovers protectively by a limp figure. Sora sits, propped up against the ivory bathtub as his head lolls back with Aeris' care. Still unconscious.
Gaining the courage to speak as I oversee her dabbing a cool, wet white cloth against his flushed complexion, I step further into the room.
"Aeris, I can…Can I do that?" it seems as though she was expecting my arrival for she throws her gaze over her shoulder without so much as a jump in her stance.
Her knowing smile remerges, heating the skin of my cheeks before she draws herself away from my resting saviour.
"I think that's a fine idea." she said, offering me the dripping cloth along with an encouraging pet on my shoulder. She leaves me to my desires as she walks out the door.
My gaze now free of no other except Sora, I come to realize that my saviour's shirt is resting in the vacant sink while he lays there – torso bare. I would blush…if not for the gasping horror that mars his tanned flesh. His arms have nothing compared to his chest. Deep gorges of pinkish skin intertwine across the very centre of his chest. Aiming for his heart.
He is not the monster. He is the victim.
Kneeling by his side, legs crossed beneath my skirt, I wring out the access water from the white cloth. Brushing the chestnut locks back from his heated brow, I gulp. Running the cloth over his forehead, drawing it along his reddened cheeks in turn, I marvel at how peaceful he seems in this state. Brow free of creasing, the frown lines of his mouth soothed as his breaths steadily through parted lips.
Sora's head droops down whilst I re-soak the cloth in the cool bathwater, resting his chin into the curve of his collarbone…just before his entire upper body begins to incline towards the floor. Swiftly bracing him against my arm - in doing so saving him from a skull pounding headache – I bite my lip as I chance a glace around the room, looking for a place to lay him down where it would not result in chilling his spine.
Groaning into my shoulder, he expresses my own thoughts as his weight drains the strength from my arms – not to say that I had strength to begin with I might add. Finding no other solutions, I support the curve of his neck as I turn and draw the back of Sora's head onto my lap, uncurling my legs to support his back off the floor. I am now a pillow I suppose.
I laugh lightly at the very thought, all the while I tend to him. A pillow. For him – only for him.
Mumbling restlessly in his sleep, I caress his cheek with the trembling thumb of my left hand, willing him to calm. Releasing a deep breath I had not realized he had been imprisoning, Sora nestles into my stilled touch. Tingles burst through my limbs in consequence of his actions, scorching my throat and face. I feel my heart melting, beating, smouldering within me as a wrenching pull encourages my flushed face towards his.
My breath catches as intellect rams through the fog of my mind, jerking my head back. Plastering the cloth over my own face in mortification, I hear a groan. Only when the weight pressing down on my lap shifts do I know it was not my own.
"Danella?"
A deep calming breath slows my heart beat as it broke out in a gallop with his voice. Releasing my bottom lip from my teeth, I remove the cloth and look down on the young man settled back upon my legs. Confusion is evident upon his features as he gazes right back on me. A shy smile graces my mouth as I find it difficult to evade his eyes with my own, being drawn to them so powerfully.
"Wha…?" his voice croaks huskily as he grazes his hand through his tussled hair, brushing the inside of my thigh in the process. I jump slightly as he turns his head to see what he had touched, a warm shade of pink filling his right cheek while he does so. Eyes jumping from my clothed thigh, to my wide golden brown eyes, then to his bare chest has Sora leaping up against the bathtub side for support within a fleeting moment.
"Sorry!" We both cry out as I bite my lip and he scratches the side of his neck. I laugh nervously, lifting the cloth to eye level for him to see, "I was cooling you down before you collapsed…" I gulp through my words, "…I did not wish to lay you down on the cold floor with you in naught but your skin."
He nodded wordlessly, the flush of his cheek fading as the confusion slowly returns. I can see a question hanging on the edge of his tongue as he looks me over with a light frown.
"Why are you here?" his voice, so reserved yet heavy with emotion. I flush; perhaps I was wrong in assuming I was welcome back.
"I…I wished to return. I wanted to…give you a chance…to explain. But – I can leave," I reassured. Keeping my eyes downcast, I stumbled over my words as I felt his gaze burning through me, so intently. "I can be packed and out of your way before the sun sets if that is your wish. I do not wish to be of any trouble to you than I already have."
"Don't leave. Please." His voice latched onto his plea while his eyes flicker upsettingly between my own. A slight tremble starts to course through his upper body, flowing towards the tips of his fingers. Cold or naught, I reach for his shirt draped over the sink.
A harsh gasp and a blur of scarred olive later, the arm I had used to reach the chemise was now encased within the steel grip of a wide-eyed and vulnerable Sora. Eyes locked on the flesh of my wrist, he sits frozen.
"Let me see your arm…" he stares, never peering away. I chance a glace in the direction of his, seeing the slight bruising of an injury on the exposed corner of my forearm.
…I was pinned to the ground by the Heartless' weight. I shrieked as I felt cold razors bite into the flesh of my wrists, immobilizing them…
I gulp, trying to free myself from his grip to no avail.
"Let go, please," I yank and struggle. He seems to be unfazed by my words and actions, "It's nothing. Let go of me."
"That is not nothing," and with a sudden twist, my wrist is revealed to his cerulean gaze. He swallows harshly as he traces a thumb against the rim of the wound, "…not nothing…"
Why did I have to forget about this? I cursed myself within my mind, questioning my true intellect, Axel could have healed me – or even Donald…Sora would have been none the wiser.
I see where his thoughts are drifting as he grits his teeth and runs a clawed hand through his tresses, yanking painfully.
"No, you listen to me," I said firmly, finding his grip loosened enough to free my arm, and place my palms against either side of his ashen cheeks. I force his defeated gaze upon mine. "This was not your fault, you hear me? You did not do this to me. The Heartless"-he flinched-"did this – not you!"
"I could have stopped it." He chokes out, eyes drifting over my injuries once again.
"You did. You did stop it, Sora."
"But, not-"
"No. You stopped it. If you had not taken control when you did, I believe…I would not be here."
He winced, as if the thought of me being killed…or worse, caused him pain. I frowned slightly. The tingling returns; manipulating my fingers along his cheek and temple, stroking away the profound crinkles of grief. I find my touch voyaging downward, across his cheekbone, along his clenched jaw, to the scarred crevices of his neck.
The heat begins to rise from my heart to the skin of my cheeks, blooming red, as I raise my eyes to see Sora staring at me with intensity, lips parted and eyes darkening. The term 'butterflies in my stomach' had never once occurred to me as being anything but a novel cliché. Yet, now…feeling is believing. And I am most certainly feeling something.
"Sora," I blink past the burning haze, my initial purpose for wanting to see him arising to the forefront of my thoughts, "I want to know."
He frowns, rising a questioning brow.
"No - I need to know. How is it that you came to be…this way?" I ask, brushing the raw skin of his neck encouragingly. His butterfly-inducing looks shifts, freeing me as he looks away but does not pull from my grasp. An uneasy moment passes before he speaks, sounding reserved, almost bracing himself.
"Is that…all you came back for? My history?"
I slowly drop my hold on him, dragging my fingers along the skin of his throat to prolong the feeling. Thinking back through all that has happened, it would be effortless to agree with that question. Uncomplicated and painless. However, I would be lying to myself as well as my saviour if I say his story was the only reason I had returned to him.
"No." I breathe as his gaze bores into my soul like a starving man spying food, "It wasn't the only reason for my return, Sora."
Through the exhale of air, his features soothed as Sora cautiously reached forth for my right hand to grace it against his cheek, calming himself.
"Okay…" he said wistfully as I drew forward, seating myself beside him against the bath on his right side in order to free my arm of an awkward angle as he laced his fingers between my own.
Closing his eyes to the world, a weight of unease rests upon his shoulders as he began to recall his memories before me. I stroke his cheek stiffly as his hold on my hand stays firm. He unconsciously leans into it.
"I was no more than nine years old when it happened. It was the very same day…that my parents were killed." As my own breathing hitched, I curled my touch around his ear, tracing a circuit to his cheekbone. It worked in calming both Sora and I.
"The season of spring. Where offspring are born and the flowers bloom through the melted snow from the first of many a month. Yet, also the season of showers. A horrendous storm tore across our house. This house. It was the first time I had ever experienced a thunder storm – you can only imagine how naive in my fear I was.
"It hit fairly late in the day. Therefore, naturally; I scurried into my parent's room and bed, and huddled into their caring arms. I remember the warmth they carried with them so clearly. Their love for me and each other was whole and consuming. I was always safe with them.
"Aeris, Donald and Axel were with us back then as well. Aeris was my aunt's daughter. She passed away when Aeris was only thirteen, leaving behind no known father. My mother took her in, always the loving soul. She grew to be like an elder sister to me.
"Donald - he had been hired as a guardian. My guardian. Back then, he had had nothing to protect me from for my nine years; however, my parents insisted I have a guardian…should the time come. He was more a friend to me than a guardian.
"And Axel. Well, that's a long story in its self. Ultimately, he was an orphaned friend of mine from school. We were quite the little pranksters back then. One prank in particular…went a little astray. I told him his fire would get him into trouble one day. Ha-ha. Thank goodness he didn't listen to me, or otherwise he would not be here under the basis that he owed a garden and an entire patio area.
"Anyhow, from what I can remember, all three of them were still within their own rooms when my parents heard the first window break. At first, we thought it was just the storm tossing a branch through the glass in the next room. But…then came the first scream. Aeris' scream.
'Heartless' she had said. Back then, I had no knowledge of them, but I knew enough to see the fear in my mother and father's eyes as they urged me to stay in the bed whilst they went to her. With a quick kiss from them both, they were out the doors, leaving me to cower under the covers.
"That was the last time I ever saw them. They did not even get to say goodbye…whilst I did not get to say that I loved them." I brushed the stray tear from his cheek.
"They knew, Sora. You do not need to say it for someone to know it. As well, they would not have wanted to say goodbye. Never goodbye."
He considered that for a moment before he leans into my hand, sniffing past his tears as he nods slowly.
"I truly am sorry. About your family…"
"Thank you," I said, "I never got to say the words either. But…I know they knew."
"You…still want me to continue?" he asked hesitantly as he brushed the back of my hand with his freed thumb. I nod with a small smile pulling at the corner of my mouth, the warmth from his stroking enveloping my hand.
"I could not hear much over the storm raging outside. The flashes of lighting caused me to whimper and shrink into the bed with each hit. Finally, I decided I didn't want to stay there alone anymore. I wanted my mother and father with me again. To hold me and protect me. Scampering out of the bed to the door, I was terrified to see masses of shattered glass across the candlelit halls. As I stepped out of the room and into the darkness, I could tell almost instantly that sometime lurked within the shadows. Save for the screaming wind and rain belting against the walls and gaping windows, all was still and silent.
"A speck of gold that glowed in the distance drew my eye. At first, I believed it to be a fallen candle. Yet, as I watched, it seemed to grow bigger and bigger. Closer and closer. It was coming closer and as it did, that one speck became two. Stepping into the light from a flash through the window, its body was eliminated. A small creature, about my size at the time, stood there, twitching antenna, dark as night body. It reminded me somewhat of an ant. Some nature of bug. I was one of many boys that loved bugs in my youth.
"Thinking back, I am most certain I would not have run if it weren't for the sight of crimson liquid spilling down its claws. I would not have felt an ounce of fear within myself had it not been for the smell of death that clung to that dark creature. That…Heartless. I ran as fast as my young legs could move, and with each pace, I heard it following directly behind. Its swishing feet sounded so alien to me.
"Once I reached my own room, I quickly slammed my door shut, bracing myself against the frame in case it struggled to open the door. If I had known what the Heartless were capable of, I would have distanced myself from that door as far I could. Maybe I would have escaped out the window…I don't know.
"The floor beneath my feet shimmered and cooled before I could comprehend what was happening. The Heartless was there, standing before me in the blink of an eye, head tilted, with eyes wide and burning. And before my heart could react, my chest was torn through, flesh and bone, until a black claw was latched onto my beating organ. The sudden sting of iciness took over from the inside out, seeping through my veins, numbing my limbs as I grappled against its arm. Everything hurt. Everything felt heavy. I cried for my parents to make it stop but I could not voice it.
"The heat was coming back as I gazed down to see the Heartless' own darkness spread from its arm to the skin of my chest. It was plaguing my body, and promptly so. My breathing was becoming quick and hoarse, rasping through my throat as I struggled against the dark creature. I thought for sure I was dying. I was going to die once the darkness took over the last inch of skin. I firmly believed I would never see my family and friends once again. A vision of them flashed behind my mind's eye. So carefree and happy, they beckoned me to them. I wanted to be with them. To have them there with me.
"I reached out just as the heat enveloped my eyes, blinding me to the world. A sudden burden within my extended hand unsteadied my weight. A gritting scream tore through my ears as the cold was yanked from my chest, followed by a waft of forceful smoke shoving me back against the wooden door. I remember seeing the flash of golden light - so bright - through my recovering vision before the weight within my grasp was gone, the unmistaken tinkle of keys fading away.
"I…do not recall what happened next. I may have passed out for when I came to, Aeris was hovering over me as I lay down, wrapped in the covers my bed. Everything ached; my eyes, my arms, even the very tips of my toes. However, as soon as I saw the mournful look that filled Aeris' face, I knew that ache would not compare to the news she held for me. Needless to say…I was right."
…
Vision blurring, I drew Sora to rest his head upon my shoulder as I wrapped my arms securely around him while I shared his tears. I want to protect this young man, from everything. His past. His future. The Heartless. I must protect him.
"Sh-hhh," I sob as he claws his fingers into the fabric of my back, smothering his tears into my neck and shoulder as he cries.
"They w-were killed. Be-f-f-fore I even made it…outside their…door. Aeris…she-she-she saw…"
"Shhh, hush now." I cradle his head, combing my trembling hand through his brown hair as I try to control my own cries. Be strong for him now.
Rocking my weight slightly, I continue to hush him as he buries himself into my tenderness, my given warmth. Humming into his ear, I remember the comfort it used to bring me after nightmares. Especially when mother did it for me. She knew the most divine hymns and songs. Seizing a calming breath I recall the lullaby mother used to sing when I woke from nightmares.
"Oh, my child, you cry so many tears, I to adore you, be a refuge for you, Hush, my child and lay you down to sleep, I will protect you, guard you and guide you, Oh, my child, I only wish I could, I will protect you, guard you and guide you,
Seems like you've been crying for the world;
Oh, my child, your world so full of fears,
Seems like you've been crying for the world.
Give me strength to do it right.
Seems like you've been crying for the world;
Hush, my child your tears that burn so deep,
Seems like you've been crying for the world.
Give me strength to do it right.
Suffer all the trials in your place;
Oh, my child, you know I truly would,
Take on all the evils you will face.
Give me strength to do it right;
And I will love you, more than I have to
Give me strength...to do it right...
Opening my eyes from my trance, I hear Sora quietly sniff into the collar of my blouse before he lifts his head from me. Releasing his locking grasp on my hand, his fingers curl around my wrist, drawing up my clothed arm along the curve of my shoulder to the back of my neck to cup my jaw with his thumb. Red rimmed eyes look over me as his breathing calms. So striking even when tear stained and flushed; my insides tremble and smoulder as he breaths my name across the bridge of my nose as he draws near.
He pauses, so close yet so far, giving me the chance to stop this. To pull away and leave well enough alone. Except...I don't want to stop this. I want this. I have wanted this for a fair amount of time. I want him.
Not awaiting his assessment on my approval or not, I tilt my head back, eyes fluttering closed as I brush my lips against his. The hand holding my jaw twitches before brushing behind my head to pull me forward, into his awaiting arms as Sora deepens our kiss. Burning the small of my back, his hand, wrapped around my waist, pulls me ever closer to his warmth as he tilts his head to the side to reach my mouth at a better angle.
My hand at his neck brushes along his whiskered jaw and cheekbone before curling into the hair behind his ear. So soft, my fingers slip through his locks dreamily as my cheeks burn. Heart thudding in my ears, my otherwise useless hand that had remained limp on my lap now draws up along the ridges of his torso, memorizing the rise and fall of his toned stomach, chest and scars before tracing along the skin of his shoulder and collarbone, lifting gooseflesh in their wake.
My head starts to spin from my lack of essential breathing, forcing me to reluctantly draw my lips away from his to breathe against his warmed cheek. He does the same for a short time before slipping both arms under my own, securing my body against his as he traces his nose and lips against the skin of my neck, sending a welcome shiver down my spine as I melt against him. I hear him hum contently as I brush my fingers through his hair; my new found compulsion.
"Danella," he breathed against my neck, drawing my eyes open to the edge of his jaw and neck, "stay with me."
AN: Chapter 1~10
I have recently decided to hold a poll for this story. For all my BATT readers. I bet a fair few of you have wanted to get in Sora's head at least once during this little adventure. Well, now I'm offering it.
An outtake in Sora's point of view will be written, but I want you guys to tell me which chapter - excluding the prologue - you want to be written through his eyes.
Comment or review to let me know. Thanks.