A/N: Hey, everyone! Thank you for all your positive feedback for the last chapter! I want to respond to all your reviews! To TheIndividualist, yep, gossip sure is a horrible thing. And definitely something I could see either of the Verucas partaking in. To Tristan, yeah, the two Verucas are pretty entertaining to write for. Especially 1971 Veruca. To mattTheWriter072, oh, dear, Shrek 2? I can definitely see the similarities, but I wasn't consciously thinking about it when I was writing it. Mostly because there are so many movies and TV shows that have those "dinner gone wrong" scenes. But I agree, "Grand Thieving Automobiles" was pretty funny to write. I love writing the two Mikes' interactions with each other, just because of the generation gap between the two. To Softkitty55, yeah, I felt bad for Turtle as well just as I was writing it. Kids certainly can be cruel, can't they? To Turrislucidus, hey, I'm glad you found the pasta fight entertaining! Stay tuned for more absurdity. To Guest #1, ooh, you want me to take a cue from the Nostalgia Critic? Okay, I'll think about it. To Guest #2, hm, I guess I never really noticed that. At least, not enough to consider it fanon, but I guess it could be. I think that aspect of Veruca seen in fanfics mostly comes from her being a prissy girly girl, so you could imagine her being easily disgusted from bodily functions. Guest #3, well, Freddie Highmore (2005 Charlie) has a weird eye color that is somewhere between blue and green. Maybe in certain lighting, they look more green, but whenever I see his eyes, I mostly see blue. To TheFastFox, yep, the dinner definitely could have gone a lot smoother. To Guest #4, I'm glad you caught that! I didn't think anyone would. I just realized how similar Violet Beauregarde's name was to Violet Baudelaire from A Series of Unfortunate Events, so I just snuck that little joke in there.
The following morning, everyone met up with each other in the Chocolate Room at ten o' clock sharp, just as told by Genie. Genie said to everyone, "Guten Morgen, jeder. Wir werden unsere Tour heute fortsetzen, also bitte halten Sie Ihre Kinder auf ihr bestes Verhalten."
"What did he say?" Mrs. Teevee asked.
"He said that we'll be continuing the tour today, so we have to keep our children on their best behavior," Mrs. Gloop from 1971 answered.
The group unanimously replied with an "Oh."
Genie walked the group over to the chocolate waterfall. "Look at my waterfall. That's the most important thing. It's mixing my chocolate. It's actually churning my chocolate! You know, no other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall," he leaned towards Henry Salt and whispered in his ear, "but it's the only way if you want it—"
"That's not true!" Johnny interrupted.
"I'm sorry, what?" Genie said.
"You said, 'no other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall', but I mix my chocolate by waterfall as well! Ha!"
"…Well, okay, fine. But technically speaking, you're from another dimension, so I'm still the only chocolate factory in this world to mix chocolate by waterfall. Anyway, as I was saying,"
"Hey, Mr. Wonka," Blondie said.
"Yes?" Genie answered.
"Are we allowed to drink from the chocolate river?"
"Absolutely not!"
"Then why are both Augustuses drinking from the river?"
"What?!" Genie yelled as he looked to see Gusty and Peppermint both crouched down by the river, scooping chocolate out with their hands and guzzling it down their throats.
"Ew, they're seriously drinking from that?" Johnny said. "It looks like dirty water."
"Will you shut up about my river?!" Genie said to Johnny as he furiously ran towards the two chubby children. "Augustus and…er, Augustus, please, don't do that! My chocolate must never be touched by human hands! Please, don't do that! Don't do that! You're contaminating my entire river! Please, I beg you!" But just as he was about to pull them back, Gusty leaned too far out, fell into the river, and pulled Peppermint in with him.
"Augustus!" Mrs. Gloop from 2005 screamed.
"Mein son," cried Mrs. Gloop from 1971, "he can't swim!"
"Neizher can mine!"
"There's no better time to learn," Genie sarcastically replied.
"Don't just stand zhere, do somezhing!" Mrs. Gloop from 1971 said.
Both Turtle and Choccy grabbed nearby giant lollipops to help each of the Augustuses, but their hands kept slipping off of them due to the slippery chocolate, and they kept being drawn deeper and deeper into the river.
"Out of everyone that could've fallen in, it's the two most disgusting kids I've ever seen," Nut Case said.
"My little boy is not disgusting!" 2005 Mrs. Gloop said. "Vait. Vhat's happening to zhem?"
The two Augustuses were slowly being drawn closer and closer to a large, glass pipe that was sucking chocolate out from the river.
"They're being sucked up by that pipe!" Duchess said.
"Save zhem!" 1971 Mrs. Gloop cried.
"Oh, it's too late," Genie said. "The suction's got them."
Suddenly, Peppermint fully submerged under the chocolate, then reemerged within the pipe.
"Mein baby!" 2005 Mrs. Gloop screamed. "Quick, get him out of there! Call a fire brigade!"
"Call a plumber," Sam Beauregarde said.
"I'm surprised he can actually fit in the damn thing," Scarlett Beauregarde said.
The pipe actually started to crack until finally, a huge amount of pressurized chocolate pushed Peppermint through the pipe.
"Vhere's he gone?! Vhere does zhat pipe go to?!" 2005 Mrs. Gloop panicked.
"Look!" 1971 Mrs. Gloop said. "Now my boy is stuck in zhe pipe! I hope he gets zhrough!"
"Trust me, if the other Augustus could get through, he'll easily get through," Spike said.
2005 Mrs. Gloop scowled at him.
Turns out he was right, though, since Gusty managed to get shot up the pipe, too, without cracking the pipe.
"Now, please, Herr Vonka!" 2005 Mrs. Gloop pleaded. "Tell us vhere zhat pipe goes!"
"Goes to the Fudge Room," Genie replied nonchalantly.
"Fudge Room?" 1971 Mrs. Gloop questioned. "Vell, how do ve get zhere?"
"Don't worry, I'll get an Oompa-Loompa to guide you two ladies there." Genie pulled out a little flute and played a little trill on it. An Oompa-Loompa quickly appeared by his side, seemingly out of nowhere. "Take Mrs. Gloop and Mrs. Gloop straight to the Fudge Room. But look sharp, or their little boys are liable to get poured into the boiler."
"You boiled zhem up, I know it!" 1971 Mrs. Gloop yelled as she and the other Mrs. Gloop were being led out the room by the Oompa-Loompa.
"Nil desperandum, dear ladies. Across the desert lies the promised land. Goodbye, Mrs. Gloop…and…Mrs. Gloop. Adieu, Auf Wiedersehen, Gesundheit, farewell."
After the two massive women were guided out of the room, the guests started to hear from the other side of the river the Oompa-Loompas singing a song as they were creaming and sugaring the river,
"Oompa-Loompa-Doompa-Dee-Doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you!
Oompa-Loompa-Doompa-Da-Dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me!
What do you get when you guzzle down sweets,
Eating as much as an elephant eats?
What are you at getting terribly fat?
What do you think will come of that?
I don't like the look of it!
Oompa-Loompa-Doompa-Dee-Da
If you're not greedy, you will go far.
You will live in happiness, too,
Like the Oompa-Loompa-Doompa-Dee-Doo!"
All the Oompa-Loompas started shuffling their way out of the Chocolate Room through a hidden door in the wall. One Oompa-Loompa turned back before shutting the door and finished,
"Doompa-Dee-Doo!"
"What was that?" Cowboy questioned.
"Oh, pay no attention to them," Genie said. "The Oompa-Loompas all just loving singing, but it's all nonsense."
Johnny scoffed. "My Oompa-Loompas could've put on a much more elaborate show."
"Well, for a bunch of nonsense," Rupert Salt said, "it certainly seemed rather rehearsed."
The rest of the tour group seemed to be agreeing with him through several cries of "Yeah," and "True," and "He does have a point."
"Come on, everyone," Genie said, "We've still got a lot of things to see. We can't dawdle any longer."
A/N: Sorry that this chapter was more or less just a retelling of the scene from the 1971 movie, but I promise that things will get more interesting in future chapters.