The Fosters: Season 2, Part 2

Episode 22

White. Bright white, and the ocean in her ears.

There are voices, familiar ones, but they're gurgling and glubbing and she can't make sense of any of it. She winces, as if to make any of it clearer, and some other colors come into view. Pink...no, red, and there's some black to her right. There's another voice, the deepest one, and it stirs something in her stomach that makes it's way up up her throat and into the open white. It's supposed to be his name, but none of the voices seem to make sense of her, either, as they all seem to mumble the same confusion.

Her ears crackle a couple of times, her dry eyes blink rapidly, and then there's clarity. The colors, the voices...her family. Well, if she can call them that. "What happened?"

They all pounce at once. "How do you feel?" "You're finally awake!" "I was so worried."

She musters a groan, and Stef quietly asks the rest to give her space. "You're fine, Callie, you're in the hospital. You suffered a head injury that resulted in a concussion, but they've been monitoring you all night and said you can go home when you feel ready."

Callie's eyes search past Stef for the red shirt, and when she finds him, she smiles softly, and beckons him over. "Hey, I'm all right, you don't have to look so worried, okay?" Jude rolls his eyes sassily. "What?"

"That's just like you to say that, even after a concussion."

There's a small rumble of laughter that dies off quickly, and Brandon steps forward to ask, "Do you remember what happened?"

"Yeah," she admits, though pretending she doesn't might be a good idea. Things that happened, things that were said...dangerous, vulnerable things. But the look on his face is so full of hope, and after all, he was the first person she thought of as she woke. "The girl...Jesus?" she says suddenly, almost frantically, and he steps out from behind Mariana with a face full of guilt.

"Callie, I'm so-"

"Jesus," Lena cuts in softly, shaking her head at him, "Callie just woke up, now's not the best time."

"No, it's fine," Callie assures all of them, but she doesn't mean just about his topic of choice, "I mean, don't worry about what happened, it wasn't anybody's fault."

"But it could've been prevented-" Brandon gives his two cents on the topic, probably not for the first time, though both his moms are quick to glare at him. The scolding doesn't deter him, but he doesn't bother to direct his attention at Jesus, who is already shrinking back again.

"Alrighty then," Lena practically sighs, "how about we get out of here?"

Callie forces a smile. "That'd be great."

"They're punishing him,"

Callie flips around to meet the young girl's eyes, which aren't nearly as large as her own, clearly surprised to hear her speaking again. She nods downstairs towards the kitchen with her head, her eyes moving with it as she does so. She can't hold eye contact for long, or a conversation, for that matter, so Callie speaks quickly, to reassure her efforts.

"I know," she watches Mariana carefully, waiting for her to break down, waiting for something, but it doesn't come. "I know it's not my place, but I don't think they should. I mean, I get it. Why he left. I mean, it's not like he..." she trails off, unsure if she should head down memory lane right now, especially not with all these new revelations, "like he was going to run away for good."

Mariana looks at her again, her expression unreadable. She only shrugs. "I guess."

Callie pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, suddenly feeling sick. Her heart aches for so many things...but the look on Mariana's face makes her nauseous. The girl doesn't deserve everything that's happened. Her best friend is gone, and now she feels she's losing her brother to some darkness, too. "I know it probably doesn't seem like it sometimes but I'm here for you, Mariana. I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel that I don't want-"

"To be my sister?"

Callie suppresses an arm-cross, not liking Mariana's sudden change of tone. "Yeah," she says slowly, "I really am-"

"You're not." Mariana says so positively that Callie has to take a small step back to assess the situation. Weren't they just about to have a heart to heart? Why is the air laced with cannon-smoke, the carpet like mud on the battlefield? "You're not sorry, and you don't want to be my sister. Sister-in-law, maybe, but don't spin those lies with me."

"I don't-"

"You know what I'm talking about. You and Brandon. I'm not an idiot. I can see it. I'm pretty sure Jude is starting to see it. The second you woke up, you were calling for him. They didn't understand what you were saying but I did. And Callie," Mariana steps forward as Callie steps back, lips pressed in a firm line, excess water starting to pool in her lids, "I want you to be happy, obviously. You've done a lot for me, and Jesus, but you're going to screw everything up, for everyone."

Callie blinks a couple of times in hopes to seize the tear production that seems to happen so frequently, but also to make sure that this is real, that she's not dreaming. She thought Mariana had her back, she thought they were friends...she can't take this lecture anymore. She's heard it enough. "You don't know me, Mariana,"

"Maybe not as well as I could, since you're so quick to shut people-"

"Maybe because this is what happens," she cuts her off, stepping backwards down a stair, slowly retreating from the attack she was thrown in, unarmed, "maybe because when I let people in, when I let myself start to believe there's a way to be happy, people tear me down."

Mariana shakes her head, "Jude's like a brother to me-"

"Jude is my brother." Callie manages through gritted teeth, "I don't know what you're trying to say-"

"I feel so bad for him, I can't watch as you-"

"Stop." Callie reaches up to rub her temples, still backing down the stairs, "I can't do this."

Mariana says no more, just watches as Callie flips around and speeds down the rest of the stairs, two at a time, swooping out of Brandon's reach as he stops at the bottom of the stairs, only catching the last few seconds of the argument. "What happened?"

But Callie's already out the front door, and all Mariana offers is, "You know what." before walking her own way.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?"

Jude ambles over to where Callie is sitting on the bench and plops down next to her, trying to follow her line of sight and see what exactly is so interesting across the street, but all he finds is a neighbor walking their dog and a small tree getting thrashed in the wind. Callie's hair sticks to her lips that refuse to open.

"Callie?" Jude asks again, curiosity furrowing his brows, "What's wrong?"

After nearly another minute of making sure she won't cry the second she speaks, she finally does, but she avoids looking him in the eye. "Jude, you were mad when I came home. After I ran away. You were mad when I was there because you were sad when I wasn't, I get it."

"Callie, I thought-"

"I know, we went over this, but," she leans her head gently back against the wall, moving her eyes to the patio ceiling, following the wooden boards in lines, trying to take her mind off her voice cracking, "but I think you've got it all wrong. I won't bring you any happiness here. I shouldn't have promised you that I wouldn't be selfish anymore. If being happy means being selfish, too, then I guess that's just the way it has to be."

For a few minutes, the only sound around them is the whipping wind.

And then, almost deadly calm, he asks, "You're talking about Brandon?"

"I'm being tortured here, Jude," Callie brings a quivering hand up to wipe her nose, almost as if to cover up the whine in her voice. She's never felt so desperate, so vulnerable, "and it's not because I want what I can't have, it's because I'm not allowing myself what I can have. And nobody else ever will," she presses her hand to her mouth to stop a sob, "I love you, so much, Jude, but I'm only going to hurt you here."

"But we can be so happy with them, Callie! We can have a family!"

She shakes her head furiously. "No, this...this can't be my family, Jude."

He rises from his seat. "Yes it can! They want you! Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"I can leave," she offers, nodding her head as if to remind herself that this is what she wants, "I can leave and we can both still be happy. Happier, even."

"You're going to do this all for Brandon? Are you kidding-"

"No, Jude, listen to me," she demands, even grabbing his arm and pulling him back down to sit next to her, "I haven't been the person I want to be. And sometimes, I can see little bits of me in your eyes, in what you say, and it scares me. I'm not...I'm not a good influence."

He nearly freezes. "So you want to leave me?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying, I-"

"Then what do you mean?"

"This is really hard for me, Jude, I don't want you to think-"

"I'm thinking exactly what you don't want me to." he spits, leaving his spot next to her again, and for a second she thinks he's going to back inside, but then he turns on his heel and gets back up in her face. "What are you going to do, anyway? Take a bat to their car and go back to juvy? You can't just choose when you want to leave a foster home!"

This is what she was talking about, about seeing her in him. He's too young to be talking like this, too young to be dishing out such low blows. She thought it was the world he needed to be shielded from, but it was her. And she failed to do that. Quietly, she says, "I haven't thought that far ahead. I wanted to talk to you about it, first,"

"I'm done. You always make up your mind first, anyway."

She shakes her head and a tear rolls off the side of her face as she does. "Please, Jude, talk to me-"

But something more interesting has caught Jude's eye, and Callie follows his line of sight to the curb, where an old white car has just pulled up underneath the oak tree. It only takes but a few second for Callie to recognize the car, and the driver, and she shoots to her feet, pushing Jude inside the house in front of her as he says, "I guess now's a good time to get arrested again, since he's already here."

At this point, her heart is pounding so hard she hardly cares what Jude is saying. She feels so stupid, thinking back on everything she's just said, and knowing now how she feels about it. She doesn't want to leave...she'd never last being so far away from Jude, even if it meant the freedom to choose whoever she wanted to be with. She thinks she knows how a suicide attempt feels now.

You only see the world you want through the noose, when it's too late.

"What's going on?" Brandon is already slinking down the stairs only moments after she's slammed the front door, wearing that worried look that always seems to concern her. Jude stays put, intent on glaring up at Brandon as he comes to stand in front of his sister, but the second the situation really dawns on him, his scowl drops and he seems fully engrossed in Callie's mutual fear.

"Why is my probation officer here? I don't..." she flips around and peeks through the curtains beside the door, watches as he makes his way up the path, then paces frantically back to Brandon. "Why would he be here? I didn't do anything."

"Then there's nothing he can possibly do to you, Callie," Brandon assures her, voice gentle, soothing, "you're safe, he's probably just doing one of those check ups."

There's three hard knocks on the door and Callie nearly jumps out of her skin, her eyes growing wider by the second. "You don't understand, I went to juvy for breaking a couple of windows, not robbing a bank. I don't need check ups."

"Who's at the door?" Stef calls from the kitchen, where the two are still talking to Jesus, who seems to be opening up to his parents. He stays back with Lena when all Brandon can manage is an "Uh," but Callie can see the boy from the doorway, and his eyes are puffy and raw from tears. If nothing were going on she might feel relieved to see this, but fear is eating at her stomach, and all she can do is cower behind Brandon, which may or may not be a good idea.

Stef takes large strides to the door, looking strangely at the three kids before her. "What? Who is it?" She glances out the curtain briefly before pulling open the door and greeting the familiar face with a forced smile.

"Hello Mrs. Foster, sorry to bother you on such a nice Saturday."

She almost has to laugh at this, but refrains from it, seeing as her pride is hanging by a thread at this point. "Oh, don't worry about it. Will you come in?"

It wasn't so much good manners as it was a genuine cautionary question.

He nods, mutters a small thanks, and steps inside the house, his eyes falling almost immediately on Callie, who figured it best to step out from behind Brandon. She doubts his visit has anything to do with that matter, but she can never be too safe. "Hello, Callie,"

"What?" she doesn't hold back, she doesn't fake that she's okay with his presence like Stef does, "What are you here for?"

"It's good to see you too,"

She hates how he does that, how he lets her go about all scared, stringing her along until she's literally exhausted and can't help but admit what she's really thinking, what she's really feeling, and somehow use that to make her feel like a bad person, like she's done something wrong. "Why are you here?"

"Callie, I'm sure there's a better way to speak to him," Stef interjects, though her eyes say something her mouth doesn't. I've got your back.

"I'm just checking up on you, seeing how you're doing," he says it so carelessly, almost like he wants her to know that it's all a bunch of bull. He scans the few standing around her, skipping quickly over her brother and nodding at her foster brother. "Hi, I don't think we've met, I'm-"

"I know." Brandon says, crossing his arms as the man extends his hand in phony cordiality. "What can we do for you?"

With raised brows, he sort of shrugs. "Alright, then, I guess I'll make this quick. I sure hope I didn't interrupt something," he looks to Stef, who only offers a small smile, and then to Callie and the boy next to her, both fighting frowns, and says accusingly, "but I'm almost sure I did. Anyway,"

"Is something wrong?" Lena finally appears from the kitchen with Jesus in tow, drying her hands on a dish towel, though she starts to wring them excessively as she comes to stand next to her spouse. "What happened?"

"I was just getting around to that," he explains with a grimace, still feigning innocence. "I received an anonymous call the other day saying they witnessed Callie 'running way', crossing into another state. Now, you have every right to deny this-"

"And we will!" Lena interrupts shamelessly, though everybody seems to have the same idea as her. However, Brandon especially knows that such an interruption would only look like guilt, so he keeps his mouth shut, but his arms folded a little tighter. Stef takes one glance at Callie, who maintains a pretty good poker face, but she knows what's going on inside of her, so she adds, "Callie's been here this whole time, and she has been amazing. She has also just returned from the hospital after sustaining a head injury, so if anyone's going to be admitting something, it's you."

"Me?" he repeats, almost amused.

"Yes, you were wrong to come here without evidence, just to terrorize her, and-"

"Now, m'am, I wouldn't say I-"

"I would." Brandon says, dead serious, and it's the first time her probation officer lets the facade fade and the familiar glower take place. Jesus steps up from behind Lena, adding, "If it helps to know, Callie got hurt trying to find me after I ran away. You've got her all wrong, dude."

"Whatever the case," he nearly grows, waving his hand through the air as if to wave away their accusations, clearly fed up, "I haven't been doing my job as well as I could, and these visits are going to be a little more frequent. Nothing personal, Callie, it's-"

"Right, you can go now." She has her hands wrapped around to her shoulders, shaking one leg anxiously for him to leave, looking so blankly at him, it's almost as if she can see the door right through him. He is, after all, pretty transparent. It's clear he doesn't believe a word they're saying, and now she's not going to be safe anywhere. He'll be watching...someone will be watching.

He places his hat back on his head, and gives one curt farewell before showing himself out the door. "Have a nice rest of your day."

The second he's gone, the air is lighter and easier to breathe for most, but Callie stays frozen in her spot, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. Everyone tries to talk to her at once, again, but all she really wants to do is lie down.

"He's not going to find out, there's nothing he can do to you." Stef tries to reassure her, and it may work on Jude, who already seems a little more relieved to hear this, but Callie is wiser than that, old enough not to believe that. Somebody is watching her, somebody knows more than they should.

Without a word, she turns to head back up the stairs, only to nearly bump into Mariana, who seemed to be watching the whole thing with knowing eyes.

A/N: I'm back! To all of you that didn't read the author's note, I deleted it, but basically I was just apologizing for my absence and promised to continue this story! Things got crazy, it's my senior year and there's so much to do all the time! But I can always make time for writing, and now the Fosters is back on and I've got my muse back! So this is the official Part 2 of my story, which will go its on separate way from the show. I know I said it'd be updated on Tuesdays, but I've decided on Monday again, just to make things easier! I know this chapter is short but I'm on vacation in Kauai and of course I had barely any time to write! But my flight leaves today, and I'll have way more time, I promise. A note about the story: I have no idea what probation officers are like, or what they do, and hopefully I never have to know, but for the purpose of this story, Callie's (old officer, not the new one on the show) is a meanie! I hope you all can go along with that. Here's some quick guidance questions for your reviews! I'd love for you to answer these! Who do you think called in on Callie? Mariana, or someone else? What did you think of Mariana's speech? Favorite character so far? Least favorite character? By the way, things are only going to get way worse for Callie! But no worries, there's a happy ending somewhere. :) Thanks for reading, review if you want to be a doll! See ya next Monday!