AWAKENED

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

XXX

My feet kept dragging over the cold stone floor. One before the other. For how long had I been running? I looked over my shoulder, not stopping my sprint. The door to my room had been lost behind the past horizon. No point in going back now. Better keep running.

The hallway was cold, white, almost like a hospital. I remember how the hospital had smelled when I had died, like soap, fresh, sterile. This place smelled the same. It looked the same too, white, bright lights lighting every corner of the corridor. The floor was made out of stone, like you would place in a garden. Small cold cobblestones. How out of place?

I had to keep running, but how long could I keep this up?

I stopped, out of breath. I had never run this long before. Suddenly, I heard something creak. At my right, a door appeared. It had white frills on it, like the horns of a halla, and a golden door knob. It looked like a fancy door, leading to a luxurious place. My hand flew towards the door, wanting to open it. But then, another door appeared on the left side of the corridor. As I turned around, the fancy door creaked behind me. Like it was sad I hadn't opened it, that I had looked upon another door. The door on my left was made out of dark wood, almost black. A thick purple smoke trickled from underneath it, calling to me. This door could come straight out of a nightmare. But it strangely appealed to me.

Which door do I choose?

I don't want to choose. Why do I even have to? It's not like somebody is ordering me to. I took a step back and looked forward again. But now, the corridor wasn't empty anymore. Hundreds of doors now appeared on either sides of the hallway. All of them had a different design, a different character. I slowly took a step forward, silently walking past each door. One door was made out of stone, a light coming from between the cracks. This door looked like one you would find in an old castle. Another door was bright pink, and green, and blue, and just about every other colour.
And so each door held another story, another path. Do I have to go through one of them? Scrapping each possibility as I go through? But no door seemed to go where I wanted to go.

Some whispered promises, 'Come, Saeris, open me, look inside, you will find what you seek. I will give you rest. I can provide you peace.'

Others cried, 'Please! Don't go there! Quick! Before it is too late! Open me!'

Too many voices, too many choices. I can't do this. This is too much. Which do I choose!
I kept running, faster, harder, my feet screaming. How can I feel this pain when I'm dreaming?

'Open me'

'My flower!'

'Sister, please!'

'Saeris, darling'

No. Stop. Stop. STOP! I sunk onto the floor, my knees scraping over the cobblestones. My hands flew to my ears, covering them to dim out the whispers. Be quiet! Please! Stop this! I don't want to go through either of them!

What do I choose?

Left or right?

Why not up?

I looked up to the ceiling, my hands dangling at my sides as I slowly raised. There, between the blinding lights, there was a hatch. A very small one, you would barely notice it was there. It didn't have anything special about it. No colours, no whispers, nothing but a soft green light seeping from between the latches.

I reached toward it, the ceiling suddenly closer than before. I just had to stand on the tips of my toes. But I could reach it.

'The truth is never out of reach!' I grinned as I opened the latch.

The doors screamed as I tilted myself from the corridor, up, towards the sky.

And what a beautiful sky it was! Bright blue, soft clouds waving, almost sweepingly, through it. I felt warmth, a glowing welcome. It must be the sun. Yet, there was no sun. Then how could there be light? Warmth? How curious.

I wiggled my toes and felt how soft grass tickled my feet, how the cooling dew touched my ankles. There was no eternal corridor here. No eternal screaming of doors. But a quietness you wouldn't find outside your dreams.
I looked down, and the hatch was gone. No way back. I took a step forward again, looking around. This place was so much like…. Like the place I had first woken up in. Daniel's cottage, the clan's camp, the forest I had lived in for the first years of my new life. Why was I here again?

I looked up towards the forest now stretching before my feet. But this wasn't the Brecilian Forest. It wasn't as dense. This place was more open, lighter, greener, softer. The Tellari Swamps had been scary, alive and threatening. This place was alive too, but on a different scale. It was like it was alive just for me, the trees bending away to clear a path, the leaves making comfortable shades for me to wander through. This place felt like a home I had never known of. As I walked through the forest, just forward, nowhere in particular, all kinds of strange statues doomed up behind the trees.

A halla, tall, one leg forward, her big eyes staring towards the deep forest. She almost seemed to be guarding something, scanning for danger.

A statue of a man, a bow in his hand, raising it up towards the sky. Does he want to hurt the sky?

And then, after some wandering, I saw a statue of a wolf. It was made out of white marble, its tail curled around itself and its big paws resting at its sides as it lay comfortably on its stomach. Its face was turned to the side, my side, almost recognizing my presence. Its eyes were small, canine, but radiated a sereneness. While the other statues had been guarding, defending, the wolf just was. It lay there, almost protecting me instead of the forest. Almost welcoming its guest.
Elgadira had once told me they built statues for the Dread Wolf as a reminder to keep wary, his face turning away from the camp. Maybe as a saying that he was always watching, waiting to strike. But this wolf wasn't preying. He was welcoming, protecting, kind. This wasn't a wolf to run away from, but to bow to, to respect, as he would respect you in return. In the hollow carvings of his eyes, two glowing stones were placed, glistering a crimson red. But while the demon at my door had been violating me with its bloody eyes, these eyes were a different red. Not the colour of blood, not the colour of vile, but the colour of passion, a deep love. A love for what?
I walked around the statue, almost feeling it was watching me. But it remained silent. The ever-waiting wolf, eternally alone. Like me.

'Saeris'

I turned around. What was that? A whisper, no, more whispers, like hundreds of them all softly singing my name. I could feel them all through my body, through my naked soul, calling to me. Urging me to come. To make haste. I started running again. Forward, past the statue of the wolf, past the trees. I ran and ran, my body suddenly full of strength.

They are waiting for me.

As I ran, I stumbled upon a small open field in the middle of the woods. There was a small stone tower in the middle of it, overgrown by ivy. I slowed my pace, hesitantly walking towards the small ruin. The archway of the tower had small blue flowers curling around it, full in bloom. Inside the tower light from outside was shining through the cracks and holes of the roof. There were some books scattered around the grassy stone floor. Why do I recognize this place?

Between the soft rustling of the leaves in the warm wind and the crunching of my bare feet on the path, I heard a familiar soft humming again.

'Saeris, suras. Melenir'

A small orb was hovering in the middle of the ruin, a beam of light shining right on it. The orb was like a light bulb, a blinding white light coming out of it, and it was moving, like it was struggling to stand still.

'Vhallir, Saeris, andaran atish'an', the orb spoke, but not with just one voice, but hundreds of them. A choir of whispers. 'We welcome you at last.'

'Aneth ara', I choked as I slowly crept closer. Here they are.

'We have waited for you for a very long time', they said, its light flickering contently.

'Who are you?' I finally asked, my eyes squinting as I looked into the orb.

'We are what you seek. We are what is left of all those forgotten. We are your guide.'
That was very… unspecific.

'Why have you called me?'

'We have been calling you for a very long time, da'lan.'

'That's not an answer'

'We have been waiting for you, just for you, to tell you what was told to us. To set you on your path. Many have heard our calling, some answered in your place, but none could truly hear what we said.'

'Who? Who answered?'

'A Dalish Keeper once came, Mythal guiding her'

'Elgadira?'

'What she heard alarmed her. The whisper of your power made her doubtful, made her protect, but also made you wander in the dark. Because of this, the time we have left is very little.'

'The whisper of my power? What power?'

'The power of the People's salvation, but also the power of their destruction. Break the emerald window and the worlds will combine, exploding into one. The old and the new, the past and the future. The destruction creating a salvation, yet to heal is to burn itself too.'

'What? Who are the people you're talking about? And what window? Do you mean my eye?'

'Those who were long forgotten, once destroyed by he who freed them.' Huh? 'The promise, the unbreakable, that is the emerald window. It is the key to the Beyond itself, you see its flaws, it cannot hide anything from you. It is the key to unlock the power to bend the worlds to your will, enter them freely. It is what has kept us waiting for you for so long. It is what lurks behind your every step. It is what will give you peace. All of us.'

'Just… wait. What promise?'

'The unbreakable vow that has kept us from the eternal rest, to warm the path for you. It is that which led you here, which made you reborn.'

'I never made a vow?'

'Not the current you, yet the other you in the past. The you who came before.'

'The me who came before? You mean my ancestors? Why are you being so cryptic?'

'We are just mere messengers, ordered to set you onto the correct path. Nothing more. We do not hold the answers you seek, the knowledge you need can only be found in yourself.'

'Great! Here I was expecting some clarity.'

'Clarity does not always come in answers, but in actions.'

'Then what do I have to do?'

'When your eye appears in the heavens, go to where the heroes are, and protect he who holds your eye in his hand, for he will lead you towards the vow you promised not to break. When in doubt, search for your memories, they will hold the outcomes. Your dreams will tell you the answers of your past, and of your future.'

'My eye in the heavens? I don't understand!'

'You will feel the promise when you know. And you will right the wrongs made to us all. But beware of the wolf in sheep's clothing, as both of you share the same eternal fate. Remember, your vow does not hold any alliance to him.'

'What? Who?'

'He listens, he is close. He heard our call, now he is searching for the same answers you seek.'

'That's not an answer!

'Quick now, time is running out'

'Alright, alright… What will happen when I fulfil this promise another me made?' Why is everything so god-damn complicated.

'You will receive that for which you longed for. Death. Eternal rest with those lost to you.'

'What happens if I die before I fulfil it?'

'You will be reborn once more, until the promise is fulfilled.'

'And what if I refuse?'

'You will eternally wander these plains alone.'

'So I will never return back to earth?'

'Souls are not part of worlds, they can travel from realm to realm. The destination for your next journey is not fixed'

'Great… So, when will my eye appear in the sky?'

'In an Age where the mighty forgotten will dance once more in the sky, when heroes will conquer the vile and fight for the freedom of all, that is when the promise will be fulfilled'

'Okay, and…'

'He found us'

'Wait'

'Our time has come to an end'

'But'

'Silas, Saeris, banal nadas'

'Wh…'

'Dareth shiral'

The orb coiled and turned, the whispers echoing their last words as they dissolved into nothing. I stood there, confused, my hands dangling at my sides. How do I know more, but still less? What in God's name just happened?
Something rustled, footsteps coming closer, no… something was coming closer. I heard a low rumble, almost a howl, before my body turned stone-cold, like all of my senses turning off in one go, my heart bursting in my throat. The creature rustled again, slowly coming closer, prodding, violating almost.

WAKE UP!

XXX

I breathed, hoarse, my chest pumping, my head turning upside down. I rolled on my side, my head hanging out of the bed. I vomited, my body shivering as bile spilled from my mouth, gagging. I rolled over again, my chest rising rapidly up and down as I stared at the roof of the four poster bed. How strange, had its colour been this vibrant before? Before I went to the Fade, the bed had been a soft red. But now… ruby, scarlet, auburn, crimson, maroon, every shade possible. The colours danced over the sheets like a canvas in motion. I choked on my own breath, the smells… books, dust, spices, sweat, bile, a soft feminine perfume with lavender, grass, mud,… I sat up, my hair waving over my shoulders, I could feel every strand. My eyes twirled with their new sight, my left eye burning. I flexed my fingers, once, twice, and saw the blue glow covering them, sparkling, burning, freezing, creating, all at once. I knew I had magic before, I could feel it as a soft reminder. But now, I was breathing it, tasting it, like it was just as alive as I was.

What happened to me?

How long had I been sleeping?

I jumped out of my bed, my legs reacting before my mind, rolling, flipping over like a gymnast during the Olympics. My feet rested on the soft ground now, and I could feel every pulse, every step, every dust mite trickling over the carpet. Had I ever been this fast before? This sensitive? Then I saw how lithe grass grew between my toes, embedded through the carpet and the stone floor. How was that possible? I wasn't even focussing?

I am alive. Not just living, but alive.

Suddenly, the earth shuddered, drilling with a bare roar that stung my ears, dribbling through every part of my body, echoing in my mind. At first, I thought it had been me, my magic bouldering into the ground to make it shudder. But then I heard it again, a mighty roar screeching over the skies, almost ripping them into two, awakening everyone in this world.
I turned around sprinting (I meant to walk but I was faster than I had calculated) through the door into the empty hall of the Silent Grove. Where is Yavana? I ran towards the dark spiralling abyss, and a shiver crept through my body. The pit felt… empty? Like something was missing?

'Saeris, come.' Yavana's voice rejoiced outside, softly calling me near like a mother would to show off her child.

My feet reacted, leaping across the hall towards the forest. There she was, the Beast of the Tellari Swamps. I slowly walked towards her, following her gaze in the sky. What was she looking at, nothing was there?

'You have awakened', her voice whispered, almost emotionally.

'How long have I been sleeping?'

'I first thought you were dead. Breath was seeping so slowly from between your lips. But as the legend goes, immortals can enter an "endless dream". It was wondrous. My mother told me you would wake again when you were ready. And so I waited.'

'How is that even possible? For how long was I in that "endless dream"?'

A roar twisted through the skies again, almost making me lose my balance. Yavana grinned, her golden eyes burning with true passion. I followed her gaze, my body stilling, my breath stuck in my lungs.
A dragon. A giant beast was grazing the sky. It must've been larger than a boat, no two, maybe even three. Black and green and blue scales were glistering on its back and spread to its ginormous horned wings, obscuring every light and casting a dark shadow over us, over the entire swamp. It sucked up all the sounds, all the air, as it breathed out another roar.

'Is that a…'

'Yes', Yavana laughed, 'you are not the only one who has awakened, Saeris.'

I stared at the dragon as it turned its gaze towards us, eyeing me, seeing every part of my soul. And I stared back into its bright yellow eyes.

'Where is it going?'

'Towards the world, Saeris'

'Towards the world? To do what?'

'To start a new era', she mused.

Yavana peered towards the horizon, the dragon disappearing towards the south. Her high voice coiled, cheeringly.

'The Dragon Age has begun'