CHAPTER

–12–

That Damn Elf

The armoury was full of old or extremely young men, all either far too old or far too young, and they looked about as happy as Ents that were being felled.

"Farmers, ferriers, stable boys," Aragorn looked around and shook his head, "These are not soldiers."

"Most have seen too many winters," Gimli commented, staring at one particularly old man who was shaking his walking stick at one of the men.

"Or too few," added Legolas, looking over at a boy of about 13 who looked around 10 and was far too skinny to fit the armour that he had been given. "Look at them," he said to Aragorn. "They're frightened, I can see it in their eyes." At that moment all of the men/boys/girls looked up at him.

"For ya hoon," he rolled his eyes and began to speak in Elvish, " Nele terien…dan carmanic?"

"Periya dan hoon armag dana Edoras…" Aragorn began, but Legolas cut him off.

"Aragorn, Ledin dagor henoorian orthere! Nather daga thyer!" Legolas stated

"Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn yelled in Legolas' face.

"Too right you will!" Legolas reached for his silver dagger, when Gimli held him back.

"Let him go, lad. Let him be." he stated.

"What's the sense in calling him lad? Legolas is old enough to be your great, great, grander-great grandfather…except that he's an Elf, and…you're a Dwarf…which could complicate things…" Oli's reasoning was cut off by Legolas.

"Oli this is no time for your pathetic pun! Besides," he drew himself up, "I'm definitely not older then Gimli!"

"You'd better be watching yourself, and your score of bodies, Legolas… because I'll beat the record yet!" Gimli grumbled, getting up and storming off, only to crash into the same weadly boy Aragorn had selected earlier, causing him to fly a good five meters.

"Confounded youth!" Gimli yelled, storming out the door.

The boy burst into tears.

" Great…" said Moni, as Legolas rolled his eyes. He stormed out of the room, dragging the wailing boy by the collar.

"Somebody's in trouble," sang Moni.

"You needn't be so snide about it. He's probably just nervous because of the battle, and Gimli was the last straw." Oli said.

"Whatever the problem, I'm sure Legolas can handle it. I need to get ready. I'm feeling nervous myself." Moni adjusted the chain mail shirt that she had been lent.

"It's not like this is your first battle, Moni. Remember Moria, and the battle that nearly killed Boromir? And just yesterday?" Oli prodded Moni.

"I know, I know. And quit touching me. Heather's finally gone and now you're starting it! It's so annoying!" Moni yelled in frustration.

Everyone in the room turned and glared at her.

"Carry on, just being retarded, hurry up, don't have all day! Bip, bip, bip, not a country club!" she ordered.

At that moment Legolas returned, looking extremely frustrated.

"Where's the kid?" queried Moni.

"Down with the other children where he belongs! We cannot win this fight with the 'help' of those who do nothing!" Legolas stated, not even bothering to look up as he sharpened his daggers.

"Harsh, but true I guess. Still though, what was he whining about?" Oli queried.

"How should I know? All I could get out of the whelp were sobs and unintelligible banters accompanied every now and then by a squeal when I held him by the collar!" This boy had obviously gotten on Legolas' nerves.

"That's not a very hard thing to do," thought Moni grouchily, feeling her cheek.

***************************************************88

"Ok, so up the…rocky plain…and then…Ugh! This is so annoying! I don't believe my luck! It always has to be me to get the weird places!" Heather stopped, panting.

She'd been travelling for the better part of the day without stopping once, and no food or water was beginning to get to her. She'd gotten past the marshes by remembering the way Smeagol had taken them, and she'd gotten out of the rocky place. Now she was on the edge of the sparse lands and had no idea where to go.

Suddenly, she heard the sound of horse hoofs and yells. Instinctively she dropped behind a large boulder, and pressed her hands against it, leaning her head out slightly.

She saw a large band of horsemen. One of the riders' horse was brilliant white.

"I know that horse…" she whispered.

Just then a shout came from its rider.

"I know that voice!" she confirmed.

Jumping quickly out from behind the rock she yelled, "Gandalf!"

Shadowfax neighed and went up on his hind legs.

"Fool of a Greenleaf! Sneaking up like that!" snapped Gandalf getting his horse under control.

"I'm fine! Thank you, how are you?" Heather said spitefully. (She did not like being called a Greenleaf, but then again, it was her own fault for suggesting she was in the first place.)

"Where are Frodo and Sam?" Gandalf demanded

"Should I know? Last I saw them they were at Osgiliath with Faramir, the wonderful captain of Gondor who wants me dead." snapped Heather.

"What a surprise," said Gandalf wryly.

"Niiice…" Heather scowled, "Could I hitch a ride with you guys back to Rohan?"

"Who is this…this…child?" asked Eomer riding up.

"Heather. She is an Elf. Kin to Lady Monica and that scoundrel Olivia." answered Gandalf, "She may have news that could be of much use to us."

"Greenleaf, you say? I have heard of the Greenleafs, Haldir, and Legolas! They are the very sons of the enchanted Elf mistress of the forest! She cannot surely be related to them and Monica, can she?" Eomer queried in disbelief.

"Hey pipe down, chachi! I am too related to Monica, and Legolas and Haldir are my half brothers! So there!" Heather stated.

"You will ride with me. You go to a heavy battle and you are too young to ride in alone." snapped Gandalf.

"Excuse me? I'm an Elf! I could easily be…at least a two thousand years old at my present age! And haven't you got any spare horses?" Heather insisted.

"No." snapped Eomer.

"What about those two on either side of you?" Heather motioned to the two empty horses Eomer was holding by the reins.

"Um, my extra steeds." Eomer proceeded to do a front spilt spreading his legs over all three horses.

"Funny. You sure must weigh a lot to take up three!" Heather said sourly, "I shall be sure to inform Monica of your…ample stature!"

Eomer rolled his eyes and swung his leg off of one of the horses.

"And I would have to get the weadly one!" Heather grumble to herself, as she mounted the splotchy grey and white horse.

But inwardly she knew she had little to complain about. She was just glad she didn't have to ride with Gandalf. Moni's 'weapon' had saved the day… AGAIN.