Chapter 11

"This is not magic. This is the way the world is, only very few people take the time to stop and notice it."

-Night Circus

"I know who you are. I know what happened to you. I don't know how you became this, and I'm not sure that this is. But that doesn't matter, does it? Because either way- this is your end. Not ours."

Ivan's eyes narrow at Matthew's words. "Your ringmaster is gone. Your leader is gone. How do you presume to stand against me?"

"We are a family. We are not leaders and followers. Love unites us, not for any one person, but for everyone."

Ivan scowls. He doesn't believe it. How could he, after everything he has done to them?

"We aren't like your circus, Ivan." Matthew continues when he receives no answer beyond the harsh look. Voice still determined, but softer.

"You know nothing of my circus!"Ivan snaps, striding towards Matthew, who doesn't flinch. They're pretty damn near eye to eye. That's not something Ivan is used to. Both twins have proved to be very challenging, in ways he could not have seen...

"I know that you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time. A Russian immigrant during America's red scare. I know it wasn't your fault what happened. Your ringmaster used you, he blamed you, and he killed you."

Ivan has been tense thought the monologue, on the word "killed" he flinches. "I am JUSTICE! That is what you don't know!"

With this Ivan lunges at Matthew, whose eyes widen slightly. A frigid hand plunges into the Animal tamer's chest before he can react. There's a sharp gasp as cold pierces his veins. Without missing a beat Gilbert moves forward and grabs Matthew's hand again, Arthur quickly following suit, and together they yank him back into the safety of the circle, away from Ivan's power.

"Justice... Ivan... they arrested him... you know?" Matthew manages between gasps.

Ivan is still frozen in place, arm outstretched. Slowly he lowers that hand, eyes locked on Matthew's.

"Did you know that?" Matthew repeats after a long moment of silence, squeezing the hands of both Gilbert and Arthur. "They arrested your ringmaster."

How could Ivan have known? He was nothing but a vengeful spirit. There had been death, and even after death- struggle. He remembered after death only circuses, one after the other... all becoming more and more tainted with bitterness. What he knew of that old life, that tired existence, was only injustice.

"You're lying to me. This is a trick." Ivan's voice is cold, almost hateful.

"No, Ivan. I'm not. He was arrested for sabotaging his own circus. He was arrested for the death of multiple acrobats in one such accident. If you ever bothered to check- if you could check- you would know, too, that he was arrested for your murder." Matthew's grip tightens on his families hands. "And after all that... you turned out just like him!"

Ivan cringes, "I am nothing like him!"

"You cause accidents; you're a saboteur- like him!"

"I am nothing like him!" Ivan's voice grows slowly in volume, to match Matthew's. He tries to stop the words flowing from this step in ringmaster, but dissipates when he attacks Matthew. Each time re-forming back in the middle of the circle.

"You hurt people like he hurt people!" Matthew's voice rings out. He isn't trying to gain attention, he's upset, he's terrified, for his family, for his baby brother, and that is fueling him. Ivan spins, trying to find any chink he can escape through.

But this circus is completely resolute.

"You tried to manipulate us!"

"NO! No! It was NEVER MEAN TO GO-"

"You HURT MY FAMILY!"

"-THIS FAR!"

"YOU HURT MY BROTHER YOU TRIED TO KILL HIM!"

"Stop! Stop! I am not-"

"HE COULD DIE! JUST-"

"-like him!"

"-LIKE-"

"No!"

"-YOU!"

Ivan howls, falling to his knees in the middle of the circle. Both he and Matthew are trembling, tears spilling down their cheeks. The ring of performers has drawn tighter together, pulled closer to the center by the same forces that have guided them thus far. Their arms are around shoulders, waists. There is silence, for a moment. Broken by a soft noise from Ivan.

"You... you say these things as though I do not know, as if I didn't know... on some level..." Ivan raises his eyes to again assess the performers. They lack the luster they had a moment ago. Now there is more color to his cheeks, a silver sheen to his hair, and his eyes rest at a dimmed violet- where before they glowed.

Matthew says nothing in response. He knows that he has done his job, and all that can be done now must be done by Ivan.

"He was arrested..." Ivan grimaces. "My death could have been prevented if we had disbanded. If someone could have exposed how they really felt before they acted. If smaller tragedies could have... I was trying to prevent death- don't you see that?! I was disbanding circuses that did not deserve to exist I-..."

He trials off, staring into the tear-filled eyes of those surrounding him. A deep, deep sigh.

"But, no, perhaps not." Ivan closes his eyes, and it seems as if there is no light, anymore, anywhere. "I am like him. God be my witness, I know that... If I were not, if I were better... I would have let myself disappear. The joy I derived from destruction... it was not a personal joy- it was some form of justice to me. I was in charge. I was finally powerful- I finally could choose but... oh, what does any of that matter now? When I hurt him, that child... I lost it. The visceral joy, the anger of a challenge, the bitterness..." He opens his eyes again, looks down upon his shaking hands, and then clenches them into fists. "I am existing, nothing more. I don't feel, I... I don't feel, anymore. I cry, and for what? I work, and for what? All that I have known before is no longer- perhaps never was- the truth. Everything human about me is no longer present, save for the most base of elements, and so yes, I act- and still it is for nothing because all that I feel is not felt."

When Ivan looks up again, there is not a trace of color to be found in his eyes. Pinkish tones have found their way back into his skin, and it looks as though his heart is beating again, and his hands may be warm to the touch, if you could just reach out... He could be one of them, you know. He could have just as easily been standing in the place of any of them.

Matthew exchanges looks with the others, and he for a moment does not want to what he knows he should- none of them want to. For that moment the circus shares the same feelings Ivan has drown in. They want justice, they are bitter, angry, and they lust for the primeval joy of revenge.

But... Matthew instead lets himself go. With a strange broken sound, as he falls into the grief he had not let himself feel, he gives Ivan one last cue-

"I... I forgive you."

A soft murmur, a repetition of the phrase, around the ring marks Ivan's not so grand finale, his final show- however much it's worth... Ivan slowly begins to fade. And there is a very soft, long breath as he releases what has kept him so willfully bonded.

"In all that I have done, I have done for love, and in all that I have sought, I have sought for belonging. And to these ends I am met only with destruction."

He's gone.

What once would have been inaudible under the sound of laughter and the chaotic noises of life- knees hitting the hard-packed dirt, the tears that follow, and muffled sobs ring out in the newfound darkness.

Checkmate.