It had been hours since Beast Boy's disappearance.
He had searched every nook and cranny for the young shapeshifter, scouring the entirety of the fairgrounds and even making several rounds across the city. Yet, there had been no indications of the changeling's whereabouts. He had simply vanished without a trace. The only clue he had was his discarded jacket that the green teen had worn just hours before.
He clutched the fabric in his hands, fondling it as if the reminiscence of the changeling still resided within it. He had come to the terms that the action he had made was just what Magic Man wanted; a counter-effect, so to speak. He was never meant to kiss the changeling, the green teen's reaction proved just that. Magic Man had baited him, and Robin had allowed himself to fall into his trap. Now Beast Boy was paying for his wrongful actions.
Biting his lip, the disheartened leader got up from the park bench and began to walk towards his parked motorcycle. He had contacted the remaining titans for an emergency meeting but did not go into any further detail. It was well into the night, and he knew that they were all woken out of their slumber. This would only make things all the more troublesome when he would have to explain himself. Could he even bring himself to say what he had done?
The drive back to the tower seemed like a millennium, and he did not want to fathom the reactions he would receive from his fellow teammates. They wouldn't take it well, he presumed. Before he knew it, he was standing outside of the common room doors. His breath was shallow, yet he could feel his heart quickening. No, of course, they would not take it well. Their teammate, their friend, had vanished seemingly from the face of this earth. There was not even a clue as of where he might be or how to find him. He was just...gone.
He cursed under his breath and brought the jacket up to his chest, holding it as if the sensation would ease his nerves. He knew that the sooner he explained what happened to Beast Boy, the sooner they could come up with a solution. His hand hovered above the scanner. Was he wrong to feel nervous about the oncoming conversation? He wanted to find his friend. He wanted to tell him how sorry he was for his rash decisions. He just didn't want to have everything crashing down so soon.
He shook his head, ridding himself of his doubts. Beast Boy was missing. He shouldn't be thinking of his own personal issues when his friend was undoubtedly in serious trouble. Putting his worries aside, he pressed his hand on the scanner. The common doors almost immediately opened.
The remaining Titans were gathered around the couch, talking quietly among themselves. He was sure Starfire was in the middle of a yawn when he had entered. However, once they heard the sounds of the door open, all heads turned towards their leader.
He cleared his throat and put on his fearless leader persona, trying to seem composed as his teammates gave him questioning looks. He briskly walked towards his group of friends but did not dare make eye contact with any of them.
"Robin?" Starfire questioned as said leader walked up to the podium. Robin ignored her query in opposition to shuffle some leftover paperwork on the space.
"Yo," Cyborg piped up."Where's BB?" There was a sort of laugh to his tone, but it did not mask the seriousness of his question. Robin winced but kept his head down.
"He's...he's uh…" Robin began nervously.
"I can't sense him," Raven announced, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "He's not in the tower."
"Robin, where's Beast Boy?" Cyborg asked again, his voice beginning to rise.
"He's-" Robin said, clenching his fist. The calm seems to quickly shatter as his teammates realize their green friend was missing, and soon a multitude of questions and accusations were being thrown at him at one time, causing his head to spin.
"This does not make any of the sense."
"Robin, say something."
"Where is Beast Boy?"
"Answer us!"
"What did you do to him?"
"He's gone!" Robin shouted, putting all the questions to a stop. He leaned over the stool and ran nervous fingers throughout his hair. "He was...he was there one moment and the next...gone." He spat out agitatedly.
"Well, what happen?" Cyborg yelled, standing onto his feet. "He can't just...y'all are glued together. How could he just disappear? You're not making sense."
"I.." Robin knew he should confess. He should explain everything in detail of what lead to his disappearance. However, the words refused to form. They became bubbled in his throat, and it felt as if he were choking on them. He finally looked up and opened his mouth as if to say something, but after seeing the concerned faces of his friends, he couldn't bare to. "I'm sorry."
Cyborg took a step closer to the podium, his face enraged. "Sorry's not gonna bring Beast Boy back."
"Cyborg, calm down." Raven hissed. Cyborg scowled at his leader but begrudgingly took a step back.
"The spell...it is broken?" Starfire asked, clasping her hands underneath her chin hopefully.
"I don't think so, Star," Robin replied. "He would be here if it was."
"So, what," Cyborg sneered. "He just disappeared? Without a reason?" Robin sighed and raked his hand through his hair again. Beastboy and Cyborg were best friends. The masked boy was sure he had heard them go as far as to call one another brothers on occasion. It was to be expected that Cyborg would be angered by his disappearance. Still, this did not make explaining any easier. "Something must have happened."
"We...we got into an argument," Robin confessed.
"Of course." Cyborg groaned, throwing his hands up. He rested his hands on his head and began pacing back of forth.
"It was my fault-"
"Oh, I know it was your fault." The cyborg laughed sarcastically.
"Friend Cyborg!" Starfire gasped.
"You couldn't even spend one day without arguing with him, could you?" Cyborg growled over the alien's exclaim, slamming his hands on the table and staring his masked leader down face to face. Robin felt himself cowering against his stare, despite his best efforts to keep his head held high. "Do you know how often he came to me about you? How he's never felt good enough to you?"
"Cyborg," Robin warned.
"Do you realize how much he looked up to you? How much he wanted to be like you?" Cyborg continued to taunt.
"Stop it."
"Do you know how much he wanted you to like him?"
"You don't know anything!" Robin screamed, causing everyone, including the half meta in front of him. "You don't know what we talk about or-or what we've done. You don't know what kind of relationship we've made how close we've become. Do you think I don't care? He's my friend too. I lo-" He stopped himself mid-sentence before he revealed too much.
He shut his eyes and clenched his fist before looking back up to meet the shocked and worried faces of his teammates. He sighed.
"Look," Robin said, trying his best to sound calm. "I'm just as worried as the rest of you. God, if I could go back in time and change what happened I would. But I can't. Our main priority right now is to find Beast Boy. Everything else can be dealt with later." Robin made sure to make direct eye contact with his half-robot counterpart, meaning it to be a warning. Cyborg merely rolled his eye and crossed his arms, but did not argue any further. "We'll set up a search party tonight."
"I agree that we need to find Beast Boy as soon as possible," Raven said, being the voice of wisdom. "but it's late and everyone's emotions are high. It's best to wait until morning to start searching."
Robin looked between each of his teammates. They each looked exhausted, and even he had to admit his energy had completely depleted from his hours of searching. But he didn't want to wait. He needed to know if the changeling was safe. He needed to somehow gain his forgiveness. He shook his head. "Do whatever you want. I'm going to look for him."
He gathered what little stability he had left and heatedly exited the room. The door swished closed behind him, and he stood with his back turned against the cool metal and his hands balled into fists. He hadn't realized how heavily he had been breathing, nor how much his body was shaking. He felt sick, like someone was repeatedly punching him in the guts and he had no way to squash it.
He could hear the muffled words from the remaining titans through the door. By their sound increasing volume, he could only imagine the panic that must have arisen concerning their missing friend after he had left. He knew that if Beast Boy were there he would reprimand him for storming off without giving a proper solution; or at least not trying to bring calm to the situation. Beast Boy always had a knack for pointing out the flaws in his leadership, even when he didn't want it. He wished he could have that commentary now.
He pressed his lips together as he felt them began to quiver. Oh, how he wished nothing more than to have the changeling's presence at his side again. He would live a thousand lifetimes strapped to his younger companion if it meant that he would be returned safely. Essentially, it felt as if a part of him were missing. Robin never before thought he could bring himself to formally admit it, but he felt that the changeling was his better half. The half he wanted to be. The half he wanted to love.
He shuddered at the memory of when he opened his eyes after he kissed Beast Boy. It was such a rash and foolish decision, fueled by canned emotions and a longing for an answer. True be it, the physical contact of their lips together felt like warm electricity coursing through his veins. He had not felt that way with anyone else before and the feelings of not knowing if his dream had meant something had vanquished. However, he saw the destain in green boy's eyes. He could clearly make out the confusion, the anger, the rejection, on the boy's face. It was a low blow, and he tried to quickly fix his mistake.
Robin raised his hand and covered his mouth, for he suddenly felt the onset of nausea wash over him. He had tried to reach out to the green teen, explain that what he had done was a mistake, but the changeling looked at him as if he were a completely different person. He'd looked to his leader with fear instead of the admiration that once oozed out of him almost obnoxiously. He cried to his leader to stay away from him, and once he got too close he pushed him away with all the energy he could muster. Oh what Robin would give to go back in time and take it all back.
He groggily stood up, bracing the wall for support. He felt the world start to sway beneath his feet, but he tried his best to stay upright. He decided that he would not rest until he found Beast Boy. It was his fault that he was missing, and Robin was going to make sure that he'd be the one to bring him back safely.
Wherever he was.
Robin quickly marched to his bedroom, but his last thought still lingered in his mind. There was no way of knowing where the changeling may be. The only clue left behind was his discarded jacket, but that was not nearly enough evidence to even draw a starting point. He could be anywhere in the world, or nowhere at all. What if he had warped into some alternate dimension? What if he was somehow transported right into Magic Man's hands. The thought left him lingering at his door, too warped inside his own mind to open it. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.
He scanned his hand and entered the room. Immediately, he took a seat on the edge of his bed and burrowed his face into his hands. The only way to know for sure where Beast Boy might be was to find Magic Man. However, the team has had no such luck on being able to locate him. The trickster made his appearance when he wanted to, toyed with the heroes as if they were a game, and vanished without leaving a single trace. It was nearly impossible to track him. It was enough of a fact to make Robin feel hopeless.
"I'm sorry, Beast Boy," Robin whispered helplessly into the silence. "I'm so sorry."
There was a sudden, unforeseen weight added to his bed, causing the mattress to shift and creaked as a result. Robin looked up in surprise and felt his breath catch in his throat. Beast Boy, to his amazement, sat on the bed beside him, gripping the edge of the mattress with his hands and staring down at the ground. Robin couldn't quite tell if what he was seeing was real. It felt as if he were in some twisted dream; something even more demented than his nightmares. He blinked a couple of times, hoping that if this was some sort of vision and it would go away. However, the figure in front of him did not disappear.
"Beast Boy?" He questioned. His voice displayed just how confused he was. A part of him didn't want to believe it was actually him. It felt too good to be true.
Beast Boy shifted slightly, turning his head away from the bewildered leader. "Hey." He said curtly, just barely above a whisper.
Robin felt his mouth run dry. He sounded like Beast Boy. He never once thought that he could ever miss the sound of someone's voice, but right now Beast Boy's sounded like music to his ears. Unable to resist, he slowly reached out towards the boy. His brain still didn't want to believe he was actually here. It felt like he was a phantom, and he was only seeing and hearing what he wanted. However, as his fingers came into contact with the changeling's shoulder, his doubts vanished.
Beast Boy was here beside him. He was safe.
"Beast Boy!" He cried out in happiness. Without even thinking, he grabbed the silent green teen and pulled him into a tight embrace, earning a surprised gasp from the changeling. It was nothing simply short of a miracle, and Robin could not contain his excitement and relief. "Where were you? Are you okay? I was- we were so worried about you. How are you-"
Robin felt the boy shift inside his arms and immediately stopped rambling. Beast Boy gently pushed himself away from his leader, avoiding eye contact. Robin felt his heart ache by how uncomfortable his teammate looked. He took in a deep, shaky breath.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
Beast Boy bit his lips and wrapped his arms around himself. "'M fine." He mumbled. Robin cocked his head to the side at the lad's uneasiness. He wanted to move closer to the changeling, to touch the changeling and tell him everything would be okay, but resisted.
"I…" He had so many questions that he wanted to be answered. He had so many things that he wanted to apologize for. Yet, nothing seemed to be suitable for that moment in time. "You disappeared." He lamely stated
"Yeah," Beast Boy answered softly. "Yeah. I just needed to be alone for a while." Robin raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"We were all really worried. We thought Magic Man-"
"- I turned into an amoeba, Robin." Beast Boy stated sternly, cutting the masked boy off.
"You...you what?" Robin gasped, baffled.
It was quite a clever play on Beast Boy's part. He had less than a second to make a decision after he pushed his leader on the ground. He honestly had not meant to, but he reacted faster than he could think. He knew he couldn't face his leader after the stunt he had pulled, and especially after he had assaulted him. He had to disappear, try to make sense of everything that had just happened, had to be alone. And so he made the brazen decision to transform into an amoeba; an organism small enough for Robin not to notice him, and small enough that no one else in the tower could detect him.
"I needed time to myself." Beast Boy snapped back. It was amazing how fast one's emotions can change. Robin could feel anger start to boil within him, vastly contrasting the happiness he felt just mere seconds ago.
"I was searching for you all night!" Robin seethed between his teeth. He got onto his feet and stood in front of the changeling, who was still refusing to make eye contact. "We were about to set up a search party for you. We-we thought you had disappeared. Did it ever occur to give us a warning before you just decide to take time for yourself?"
"I'm sorry, I thought I had a valid reason for wanting to get away from you!" Beast Boy screamed, also shooting up to meet his leader face to face. Robin's eyes grew wide behind his mask, and he immediately regretted what he said. All the anger he had felt evaporated, and he was left with the memories of the night's earlier events and why he had been so worried in the first place. Beast Boy's words repeated over and over in his head. The changeling had wanted to get away from him. He had made the decision to disappear because anywhere was better than having to face his bonded companion. The thought that Robin had been the cause of this sudden shift broke his heart even more.
Beast Boy was breathing heavily in front of him with his hands closed into tight fists. Realizing what he had said and seeing Robin's obviously hurt expression, Beast Boy felt his anger dissipated, and it was replaced with shame. He had not meant to say that out loud. He tried to piece together the reason for why Robin would have the sudden urge to kiss him, but nothing made sense. That frustrated him even more. He knew disappearing would cause an uproar, but he couldn't face Robin. Not then, not now.
His ears dropped, and looked away once again, folding his arms. "You didn't even ask me." He finished quietly
Robin felt that sinking feeling return to him, and he struggled to find the right thing to say. "Beast Boy...I-" He reached out a hand towards his teammate, only to stop once he saw him shy away and tightly shut his eyes. He slowly retracted his hand and held it to his chest. "Can we talk about this?"
"I just want to go to bed." Beast Boy answered with such a tone that Robin wouldn't dare argue with him. "I'll tell the others I'm back in the morning." Before the leader could say anything, Beast Boy began crawling on top of the bed, forcing him to follow.
They both settled onto the bed. Beast Boy immediately turned so that his back was facing Robin, and he did not make any notion that he would move from that position. Robin sat up staring at him for a few seconds. He felt like he should say something. He didn't want to leave off this night on such a bad note, but he also knew that Beast Boy had no intention to talk to him right now.
He sighed and settled into bed as well, deciding that giving Beast Boy his space would be the best decision for now. He faced the wall and stared at the blank surface. It felt as if the whole world had suddenly turned against him, and now he was alone. He assumed that it was because Beast Boy had somehow become his world without him realizing it, and now he hated him. It hurt more than any injury he had acquired during battle. If only he could take what he had done back.
He curled himself into a bawl, missing the warm embrace Beast Boy would hold him in every night. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. He could care less what happened to him in his nightmares; having Beast Boy hate him was a much scarier occurrence.
Beast Boy let out a giggle before taking another bite of his sandwich. "You guys should see your faces." He chuckled whilst his mouth was full.
"Bro, we thought something seriously bad happened to you!" Cyborg detested, folding his arms.
"Aw, you were worried about little 'ol me? I'm touched." The changeling placed his hands over his heart in mock sincerity. His bionic friend growled but ended up ruffling his hair anyways. He was just happy his best friend wasn't hurt.
"I still should've been able to sense you," Raven muttered, moreso to herself.
"Guess I finally found a way to outsmart you." Beast Boy grinned, playfully sticking out his tongue.
"But friend, what did you argue about that would've made you run away?" Starfire asked innocently.
The room suddenly went silent. Robin, who had had his head propped on his hand and had been trying to distract himself from the conversation by reading a newspaper, looked up and shot a concerning glance at the boy sitting beside him. Beast Boy's chewing had slowed significantly, and he swallowed his remaining food heavily. He looked down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers nervously.
"Let's not talk about that right now, okay Star?" He mumbled.
At Beast Boy's answer, Robin looked away. He had tried to talk to him when they first woken up, but Beast Boy had completely ignored him. He hasn't so much as looked at him this whole day, now that he thinks about it. It took everything within him to resist apologizing and questioning his actions. He wanted to confess in front of everyone that it was his fault the changeling had run away. Yet, he knew that would only stir up more trouble in the long run. He just didn't know how long he'd be able to hold everything in.
The other titans looked between their two bounded friends worriedly but decided it best not to ask any further questions. With Cyborg questioning Beast Boy's eating habits, the topic was quickly diverted.
Robin sighed and continued to mindlessly read his newspaper.
It felt as if months have gone by since Robin and Beast Boy have had a real conversation; in reality, it had only been three days. Still, the young leader was absolutely miserable. The guilt and shame had taken a toll on him, and if it weren't for Beast Boy's constant control of regulating whatever they did, Robin was sure he would be moping in bed all day, unable to move or find the motivation to do anything.
However, his melancholy did not seem to show any signs of washing off on Beast Boy. He was determined to not give Robin any time to talk with him alone. During the day, he made sure they stayed in the common room with the other titans. If there just so happened that no one else around, Beast Boy would immediately grab headphones and a video game or comic book and pretend Robin's presence was not there. At night, he would immediately fall asleep, or at least pretend to be, so that the other would not disturb him. His determination was quite admirable.
It had become increasingly difficult for the young leader to sleep. Besides not having Beast Boy's warm embrace to lull him into slumber, he had also stopped appearing in his nightmares. Every night, the shadow demon would capture and suffocate him, and instead of the changeling coming to his rescue, he was left in hands of the monster. If he wasn't staying up every night thinking of the changeling, his dreams certainly kept him in an insomniac state.
Robin looked up for a moment and met the back of Beast Boy's head. His hair was a bit more disheveled than usual, probably due to the fact that they didn't spend much time in the bathroom anymore. He was currently fiddling with his communicator, undoubtedly messaging Cyborg to meet them in the common room for a round of video games.
He had to talk to him.
Admittedly, the main reason for this was a bit selfish and avaricious. He so desperately wanted Beast Boy to forgive him for what he had done. He wanted him to understand that he regretted what he had done and that he truly did value their friendship. He needed him to know that he only kissed him as a result of Magic Man playing tricks on his mind, that he didn't really like him in the way he had thought.
He scrunched his face at his last thought. It felt unnatural to think such a thing like his mind was shaming him for even considering that he did not like Beast Boy in that sense. But it was true, he did not hold romantic feelings towards the changeling. It was all Magic Man's doing. He had plotted the dream in his head, played with the young leader's emotions, and pulled them apart because they had become so close. It had been his plan all along to put up a barrier between them, and Robin had fallen for it.
At least, that is what Robin hoped to be true.
A small part of him denied these allegations. There was a small voice in his head that was shouting above all the selfish reasonings for what he had done. That small voice would remind him of how beautiful he thought the changeling was. It would remind him that he was comfortable enough to open up about his past, something that only the dark knight himself knew. The voice would cite all the petty arguments they had during daylight, only to wound up into his arms for comfort in the night. That voice would bring back the sensation of when they had kissed and he could feel the electricity course through his veins. It would bring back the thought that at that moment in time, everything felt the way it should be. Although small and fighting for attention, the voice reminded him that he still held those feelings close to his heart, but had decided to chain and lock them in a box, casting it away to drown in a sea of denial.
His footing slowed until he came to a stop, causing the changeling to halt as well.
"We need to talk," Robin said sternly. "Please."
Beast Boy shifted uncomfortably in front of him and crossed his arms. They were standing in the middle of the hallway only a few yards from the common room door. Undoubtedly, the changeling was worried someone would hear them.
"Robin…" Beast Boy warned in a hushed tone.
"Please, I-" He looked down at the floor and clenched his hands into a fist, trying to keep himself from sounding too desperate. "...at least let me explain."
"I don't have anything to say to you." He responded.
"I know," He was becoming more and more desperate as his emotions were starting to take a toll on him. He was fully prepared to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness if that was what it took. He quickly maneuvered himself so that he was standing in front of the green lad. Beast Boy jumped at the sudden shift and stared at the caped crusader with bewilderment. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. What I did...you have every right to hate me."
"A-And I hate myself for what I did to you. I do. God, I never wanted to- I just...I was selfish and stupid and if I could take it all back I would." Robin gulped as he could feel his whole body shake from nerves. He took in a deep breath and met the still shocked changeling in the eyes. "But you at least deserve to know why I did it. After that, I'll stop bothering you. We'll do whatever you want. I swear."
Beast Boy eyed him wearily. It was obvious that he was trying to decipher his leader's motives, but after a few seconds his body relaxed and he looked away.
"Tonight." He mumbled. He looked at the boy in front of him for a split of a second before sighing and looking at the ground. "We'll talk tonight."
Robin felt a wave of relief wash over him. "Thank-" Before Robin could finish his statement Beast Boy pushed passed him and began walking the rest of the way to the common room. As Robin followed behind, he couldn't help but let out a small smile.
The time between day to night seemed like a blur. Before Robin knew it, he and Beast Boy were sitting side by side on his bed in complete silence, looking anywhere but each other. They had been in this state for well over ten minutes and neither knew what to do or say to start a conversation. There were a few times that Robin had opened his mouth to say something but ultimately decided that what he was going to say wasn't worth it. Beast Boy had also thought of asking a question but could not form one that wouldn't push his leader away.
Robin nervously bounced his leg and fiddled with his fingers. It felt so unnatural to feel as nervous as he was. He was usually cool, calm, and collected, but Beast Boy has proved time and time again that he could bring out the sensitive side of him without even trying. He took a glance at the changeling, praying that he wouldn't notice. The green teen was currently looking up at the ceiling. He was biting his lips and rubbing the nape of his neck. It looked as if he was deep in thought, or perhaps having an argument with himself. However, that thought process was broken once he felt curious eyes on him, and he slowly turned his head to meet his leader's eyes.
As soon as their eyes met, they both shied away and returned to looking in opposite directions. Robin pinched his eyes shut, ridiculing himself for getting caught. He took in a deep breath and willed up the courage to say what he'd been thinking.
"Beast Boy-"
"Robin I-" They both paused once they realized they had been talking over each other. They were now looking at each other face to face for they had both turned at the same time. A small blush began to form on the changeling's face as he leaned back tentatively. "Uh...you first."
"Ok," Robin said, clearing his throat. "I feel like I should apologize first."
"Yeah," Beast Boy agreed with a slight nod. "Yeah, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have run away like that. I shouldn't have pushed you."
"No, no. You had every right to do those things. I wasn't thinking clearly and I let my emotions get the best of me." Robin interjected quickly. He let out a deep breath, shaking his head. "I never wanted to hurt you."
"Then why did you do it?" The question didn't sound angry or upset, yet it left Robin feeling as if his stomach had plummeted out of his body. "I mean, I've tried to understand, but nothing made sense. I just...why would you kiss me?"
Robin felt himself freeze. He knew that he should tell the truth, that nothing ever good came from lying. Yet for some reason, the words would not leave his tongue. His pride wouldn't let him admit that he had fallen into Magic Man's trap. It was already hard enough to think it, but to say it out loud would acknowledge that he had been weak.
"Honestly," Robin said, looking down at his hands. "Do you remember when Raven made a joke about true love's kiss?"
Beast Boy raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Yeah."
"Well, I thought that that was exactly the kind of twisted thing Magic Man would want. I thought that it would be enough to break the spell." Robin shrugged. "I guess I was wrong."
"So it was only about breaking the curse to you?" Beast Boy asked after a moment's silence. His tone sounded doubtful, but Robin hoped he would take his petty excuse as the truth.
"Y-yeah," Robin said, with a slight nod. "I should've said something to you first. I was stupid." Beast Boy nodded as well and looked away. He clicked his tongue and let out a snort of laughter.
"It's funny." Beast Boy laughed, shaking his head. "I've always considered myself pretty good at reading people. Elastigirl always told me the eyes are the windows to the soul. But I can never read you." Robin looked up in shock, and Beast Boy met his gaze head-on. It was as if he were trying to look through his mask, and it made the young leader squirm like a worm freshly dug from the ground. "I don't know if I believe you."
At that moment, dear reader, it is safe to say that Robin knew he had blown any chances of Beast Boy forgiving him. He had seen right through his lie and there was no way he could come back from it. The young leader felt his breath get caught in his throat and he was struggling to find words to say. This was enough of a response for Beast Boy to draw a conclusion, and he nodded to himself.
"Thanks...for telling me." Beast Boy said with a small sad, smile. He stood up and cleared his throat. "Um...It's getting late. We should go to-"
"My mask!" Robin cried suddenly. "W-would you like to...take it off?" The question surprised both of them both. Robin just didn't want to have their conversation end so abruptly, especially on a sour note. Beast Boy stared at him with wide eyes at the sudden proposal, and struggled for a coherent answer.
"W-what? Dude, no. That's not what I-I can't." Beast Boy stammered. "I know what that mask means to you. It's fine, I wasn't being serious."
Robin shook his head. "I am." He hesitantly grabbed the hands of the boy sitting in front of him, looking down at them and holding them tight. "I trust you, Beast Boy." He began slowly. " I trust you more than anyone else in this world. I know I have the worst way of showing you that. And I want you to trust me too. " The words fell so effortlessly off his tongue, and he meant every word.
"Robin," Beast Boy said is a breathlessly. "Are you sure?" Instead of answering, Robin slowly brought his companions hands to either side of his face, placing them on his mask. He looked up at Beast Boy expectantly, whose face was a mixture of disbelief and curiosity.
It was a question everyone in the world wanted to know, but no one dared to ask. What exactly was Robin hiding behind that mask? Beast Boy had never thought that in his lifetime he would know the answer. But now here he was, both hands on either side of his leader's face trying to find the strength to pull the piece of cloth off of his face. It was an exhilarating feeling and he knew once the revelation was revealed there was no taking it back. It almost felt...wrong. The mask was a symbol of Robin's identity. It protected him, protected the ones he kept close to him. No one was supposed to know what was beneath it. But he trusted Beast Boy enough to reveal this secret side of him. It was a feeling the young shapeshifter couldn't quite explain.
His fingers tentatively gripped the edge of the mask and he lifted it ever so slightly. He paused, trying to see if Robin would have a sudden change of heart. But alas, Robin merely nodded, urging him to continue. Beast Boy gulped and returned his focus to the mask. He slowly began to peel more back, revealing dark eyebrows. His heart felt as if it was prepared to launch out of his chest at any moment. He kept pushing on, however, and it wasn't long until the mask was completely removed.
Beast Boy felt his breath hitch in his throat.
They were blue. Not hazel or even brown as how he had guessed. They were a crystal clear shade of blue the vastly contrasted his otherwise dark features. It almost seemed out of place for him to have those set of colors eyes. It felt as if Beast Boy was staring into a deep blue sea, and the more he stared into it, the more he could make out the various beings residing within it. He could make out the confidence laying on the seafloor, and determination swimming against it. Hope and perseverance danced like little guppies playing on a warm summer day. However, beneath all of that, there was a dark cavern that hid guilt and fear. It was almost scary how expressive his eyes were considering how little emotion he shows whenever he wore the mask.
Beast Boy took in a deep breath, recollecting himself. He brushed his thumbs beneath his eyes sockets gently, still staring into those mesmerizing eyes. His hands began to feel warmer, but that was probably due to his leader's reddening cheeks.
"Okay." Beast Boy said after exhaling. He shifted on his feet and nodded to himself as if trying to keep himself focused. "Tell me the truth. Why did you kiss me?"
The question caused Robin's eyes to widen slightly. The cave that was once small and dark began to grow, and Robin had to look away from the changeling's piercing green eyes. He knew he couldn't lie. Not with him feeling so exposed and vulnerable.
"I…" He muttered. He bit his lip nervously, feeling ashamed.
"Robin." Beast Boy urged, gaining his attention once again. "I won't judge you." Robin nodded slightly in his grasp.
"I had a dream...where we kissed." Robin slowly confessed. He stopped for a moment, waiting for Beast Boy to give some sort of reaction, but his expression did not change. He just patiently waited for him to finish his story. "And, I don't know, at first I thought it was Magic Man playing tricks on me but then I started thinking, what if it meant that I liked you. I mean, whenever I'm around you...I feel like I can be myself. I like being around you. And I know it's crazy, but I thought that If I kissed you I would know that my feelings were real." Robin sighed. "I'm sorry."
There were a few seconds where everything stood still and no one moved, and then Beast Boy dropped his hands and looked away. Robin looked away as well and twiddled his fingers nervously. He could feel his heart clench in his chest, and suddenly he wished they were back to not speaking. At least then Beast Boy wouldn't see how much of an idiot he had been. At least Beast Boy wouldn't have to look at him as some sort of monster.
"Did," Beast Boy suddenly spoke up softly. "Did it work?"
Robin lifted his head in confusion. "What?"
"Do you know?" Beast Boy asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked up and met his leader's curious gaze. "Do you know if you like me?" He pressed his lips together nervously and brushed back his hair. "Did it work?"
"I...don't know," Robin confessed, matching the soft tone of his teammate's voice. "I guess I never really had time to think about it after you...Beast Boy?" The changeling had been slowly making his way towards the blue-eyed boy while he was talking, and was now facing standing directly in front of him. Beast Boy placed his hands on either side of the elder's face and looked into his mesmerizing eyes. A bright, red blush laced his green skin as he stroked beneath his leader's cheeks.
"I…" Beast Boy whispered, slowly leaning forward. "I would also like to test that theory."
"Beast-" Before Robin could question what the green teen had meant, the gap between them was suddenly closed, and Beast Boy's lips lightly pressed against his own. Robin couldn't help the surprised gasp that escaped upon contact, nor the tingling sensation that began to grow inside of him.
The kiss was only but a few seconds longer than a peck, and after that time Beast Boy slowly pulled away. Robin watched as Beast Boy hesitantly opened his eyes. He bit his lip out of nervousness, waiting for some type of reaction from his unmasked leader. Robin was at lost for words, still not comprehending what exactly had just happened. Almost half a minute had passed and no words were said between them, making Beast Boy's nervousness transform into worry.
"I-I'm sorry." He muttered. He felt embarrassment and shame wash over him, and quickly tried to cover it up. "I shouldn't have done that. That was stupid of me. I-"
Robin grabbed the stuttering teen and pulled him back into another kiss. The force of the pull caused Beast Boy to topple onto the bed on top of the leader, causing a shriek of surprise. Still, this did not stop their lust for the continued sensation of their lips on top of the other. For so long, they never understood the reasoning for their constant arguing, perhaps they never would. But in this moment, none of what happened in the past mattered. Every miscommunication, petty disagreement, and unsaid thought, disappeared. The only thing that mattered was this moment in time.
With each passing second, the need to become closer grew evermore. Robin gently traced the curve of the boy's back, feeling each bone and muscle on his body. His hand slowly reached up to cup the green boy's face and deepen the kiss. Beast Boy ran his hand through Robin's dark strands of hair, loving the way it flowed like water between his fingertips. A moan escaped as Beast Boy parted his mouth slightly, allowing full access for the dark-haired boy to explore. They had been inseparable for so long, yet now they seemed closer than they ever had been before.
Robin suddenly flipped them over, causing Beast Boy to land on the pillow with a short laugh of surprise. Robin smiled as he leaned over him and kissed the young changelings forehead. Beast Boy giggled and placed his hands on either side of his face, staring up into his eyes. They were both breathing heavily and the longing to continue to make out weighed heavy on both of them. However, at that moment they both couldn't help but take everything in.
Beast Boy cracked a toothy grin and leaned upwards, pecking Robin on the lips once more.
"I like you." He whispered, biting his lower lip. He looked up to meet Robin's curious gaze and ran his hands down his neck and onto his shoulders. "I really do."
Robin let out a breath of relief and pressed his forehead against the changeling beneath him. "I like you too." He smiled against his skin and placed one last gentle kiss on his nose. "You complete me."
Ok, I know this chapter is waaay over due. I'm so sorry that it's been so long. College is really kicking my but, and I really did not have any time to work on anything except school work. I've been working on this in sections but it was taking longer than expected. It's still not a very good escuse but I hope this extra long and juicy chapters is enough to compensate. (Seriously this was like 20 pages).
Thanks to everyone who's left comments and pm'd me with their concerns. Im definitely not giving up on this story. I'm determined to finish it. Next chapter will be more of beast Boy's point of view and the way he has been feeling. Kudos to those who guessed that he transformed to hide from Robin!
ALSO I MADE A TUMBlR ACCOUNT!
I wil be a lot more active on their and I also post my art. It's also a good place to keep updates on my progress of the story and to ask questions or requests. If you would like to follow my acount name is hey-its-lymaria.
As always, please let me know what you think and thanks for reading!