A/N: So I have a bit of a cold * sniffles * and feeling a wee bit miserable, so feel free to send me lots of sympathetic messages to cheer me up ;)

K, so today's chapter is a flash forward. It basically follows on from chapter 8, where Piper said she had a surprise planned for Alex, to make up for missing Christmas with her.

There's Vauseman aplenty, so I hope it hits the spot.

Alex's head is buried deep into her pillow and her arms are clasped tightly around Piper's waist. Right now, this is her most favourite place in the world and she has no intention of moving, especially as she can hear the wind howling outside. The draught from the window is catching her on the back of the neck, but if she slides under the covers a little further, it's bearable.

'Al, we need to get going' Piper says softly.

'Five more minutes' she mumbles, not even bothering to open her eyes and instead, pulling Piper even closer.

'Well at least let me go so I can have a shower' she laughs.

'Nope, no fucking way. I have literally just achieved the optimum position and i'm not having you ruin it by moving even an inch.'

'Al, do you want your surprise or not?' Piper says, managing to free herself so that she can climb out of bed.

'Does it involve you being naked?'

'I'm naked right now' she replies

Alex opens one crocodile eye and sighs when she sees Piper still in her pyjamas.

'Such a disappointment Chapman, lying to get me out of bed, I'm pretty sure that's a punishable offence'

'Oh yea?'

'Yup, you're consigned to a life time with me'

Piper gasps in mock horror, 'I'm not sure the punishment befits the crime' she laughs.

'Baby, I'll sure as hell make sure it does' she grins.

Piper wraps her arms around herself trying to get warm. 'It's freezing' she complains, 'how do you live here like this?'

'I think warm thoughts'

'About what?'

'A very sexy blonde'

'Oh yea?' Piper replies grinning.

'Yea, Scarlett Johansson is quite something isn't she?'

'Fuck you' Piper replies, throwing her pillow at her. 'She's straight anyway'

'They all start out that way'

'And then what happens?'

'They meet me' she smirks

'I'm not sure Scarlett Johansson would able to spend five minutes in this apartment considering how damn cold it is' she says, looking for a sweatshirt in the pile of clothes that is next to the bed. Alex as yet, has failed to master the art of hanging things up.

'Well, come back to bed then, I'll warm you up' she says smiling. She looks so adorable, all sleepy and tousled haired, that Piper cannot resist. So she climbs back under the sheets and Alex pulls her so close, there's barely a hair's breadth between them.

'Five minutes, that's all ok?'

'Uhuh'

'I mean it Al, we can't be late, the cab is picking us up in just under an hour'

'You still haven't told me exactly where it is we're going or what we're doing' she says, finally opening her eyes fully. She is pretty sure that she will never tire of this, of having Piper as the first thing she sees in the morning, of waking up to her warmth and it makes her realise just how much Christmas is going to drag and how empty it's going to feel.

'Guess'

'It's too early for guessing Pipes'

Piper kisses her full on the lips and within seconds, Alex's hands begin to wander into dangerous territory, the sort of territory that's sure to make them really late. She pulls away and raises an eyebrow. 'So it's too early for guessing, but it's not too early for that?'

'Guessing requires my brain-power, which is redundant first thing in the morning, whereas that, well, it's an inherent ability, so it doesn't really require much thought' she grins.

Piper shakes her head, 'you're unbelievable'

'Funny, you said that last night too, well, give or take a few moans'

'Al!'

'What? I like it when you get turned on'. She starts kissing Piper's neck softly and lingeringly and Piper is half tempted to jack the whole trip in and just stay in bed for the day.

Piper strokes the side of Alex's face gently with her fingertips. 'mmmmm, that feels nice' Alex replies almost purring, a content grin on her face.

'Maybe you were a cat in a past life?' Piper teases.

'So what you're saying is that you like stroking pussy?' Alex grins

'Trust you to lower the tone'

'Oh come on, you set that one up' she says laughing.

'Right, your five minutes are done, up and at 'em, we need to make tracks'

Alex groans and pulls a pillow over her head.

'Ok fine, stay in bed, guess you don't want to share the shower with me then?'

The statement has the desired effect, as suddenly Alex is feeling a whole lot sprightlier as she throws the covers back. However her enthusiasm is short lived, as an icy chill descends on her. Piper's right it is fucking freezing, but her landlord is not returning her calls and she doesn't have the spare cash to shell out for the repair herself right now, not until the money comes through for the t-shirt deal, so she's going to have to grin and bear it for now.

'So, are you going to tell me where we're going now?' Alex asks, opening the dresser drawer, trying to decide what she's going to wear.

'First stop, Grand Central Station' Piper smiles.

Alex furrows her brow in confusion 'and then?'

'And then you'll have to wait and see. Now, get yourself in the shower, I've got another surprise for you, one that I know you definitely will like' she grins.

Alex doesn't argue. She could get used to this.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Large bare trees flank Cold Spring station: victims of the fall. They step off the train onto the platform with only a handful of other people. The place feels deserted, but Alex guesses that's because it's mid-week and no one would have any real reason to come here. In fact, if she's honest, she's not entirely sure what they are doing here either.

The sky is an impenetrable grey mass and a chilly breeze carries with it an icy nip. The air feels thick with moisture. A storm is brewing.

'Ta dah' Piper says over enthusiastically. 'So here we are, Cold Spring'

'Errrm, Pipes, the destination was printed on our tickets and the front of the train, I figured it out two hours ago…'

'Party pooper. I knew that, I just thought it was exciting that we were finally here', she replies sulkily and immediately Alex feels bad for putting a dampener on things, after all, she had looked so adorably pleased with herself.

'But I bet it's going to be great right?' she says, attempting to be cheery, which is never easy for Alex, even at the best of times. It does the trick though as Piper's expression immediately brightens, her eyes sparkling excitedly.

'It totally is' she grins. She pulls the ticket out of her coat pocket. 'Ok, so we're getting the 7.30pm train back, so that leaves us with around six hours to kill. So I did some research and…'

'…I would have been disappointed if you hadn't' Alex says teasing.

Piper scowls at her, 'anyway, we can go for a hike over at Breakneck Ridge and see the views of Storm King Mountain and then later, there's a candlelight tour we can go on and there's loads of cool little shops selling antiques, pottery and vintage fabrics and handbags. You know this place had a bustling foundry in the 1800's?' She continues, as if reciting from a guidebook.

'Did you study for this trip?' Alex says laughing.

'I wouldn't say study…' Piper replies a little sheepishly, 'I was just prepared, if we left it to you, we would just be in a bar somewhere, drinking beer and making out'

'I'm failing to see what the problem with that would be' Alex grins.

'And that is precisely why I organised this trip, let's get you some culture Vause' she says grabbing her hand.

They find a visitor information point and enquire about the hiking trail. A portly looking middle- aged man, with round steel rimmed glasses perched on the end of his nose and very distinctive bushy moustache greets them. He immediately shakes his head at the mention of the hike. 'I wouldn't risk it today if I were you, there's definitely a storm coming' he says, nodding towards the ever darkening skies, 'and you don't want to be stuck in the middle of the trail when that happens, believe me'.

Piper sighs, frustrated that her intentions for the trip are already being thwarted. She'd wanted to make this really special, as some sort of consolation for the fact that Christmas was going to be so monumentally fucked up, but her plans are already going awry.

Alex spots the dejected look on her face. 'Hey cheer up, we still have all that other stuff that you mentioned and failing that, we can always revert to my plan; find a bar, get drunk and make out' she grins. It seems to work as Piper perks up a little.

'You want to go and look at the shops? There's supposed to be some great vintage bags and stuff, maybe you could get some ideas for your store?'

'Sure' she replies.

They get coffee and wander around the little antique shops looking at hand painted mirrors, glassware, pottery and fabrics. Piper buys some scented candles for Alex's apartment. 'I'm killing two birds with one stone; they'll make it feel more cosy and disguise the cigarette smell that seems to lurk around.'

'See that's why I love you, you're so damn resourceful' Alex replies, flicking through a stack of art prints.

She's said 'love' almost as if it's a throwaway remark, but Piper is used to that, Alex finds it easier to deal with it in that context, either that or 'love you too Pipes', almost as if she's holding back slightly because of the situation with Larry. It's always been like that; never instigated by her in a way that doesn't attempt to make light of it. Never.

In all honesty, Piper can't blame her, the whole thing is a monumental mess, but it still hurts sometimes because she's banking everything on this and she needs it to work and for Alex to understand exactly what she's investing in this. Her mind flits back to the brief mention of children at the movie theater and the look on Alex's face. Since that conversation, Piper has found herself thinking about what the implications of children would mean for them and more importantly, what would happen if Alex didn't want any.

The pregnancy with Larry hadn't been planned, but once she had got her head around the idea and the slightly tricky first trimester, she loved being pregnant. It made her feel relaxed, content and whenever she caught her own reflection, she was much more radiant than she ever remembered being, but more than that, she felt ready; ready to be a mother and now, months later, she still felt like that. The only problem was going to be Alex.

Obviously she still hadn't properly ended things with Larry yet, but Polly was right. If she and Alex didn't want the same things in the long run, then what would happen? She didn't want to think about the answer.

'You ok?' Alex asks, spotting the faraway look on Piper's face.

'Uhuh, I was just thinking we should get some food'

'Sure and also, I haven't kissed you in at least a couple of hours'

'You getting withdrawal symptoms?' Piper says laughing.

'Always'. She leans in to kiss her and Piper pulls away a little.

'What's wrong?'

'Errrm, I don't see any rainbow flags flying around here, do you?'

Alex laughs, 'so you think the towns folk are going to come out with burning stakes as soon as our lips touch?'

'Well…'

'We've been holding hands!'

'Friends do that'

'The way I've been looking at you isn't that friendly, trust me' she smirks. 'So can I kiss you or not?'

Piper glances around to see if anyone is around, 'Ok, we'll do a countdown, after three…..'

'The fuck we will' Alex says pulling her firmly and kissing her; softly at first, but as she re-familiarises herself with the taste, it becomes harder and dangerous.

'Al' Piper says breaking away, 'there are probably kids around'

'And they've never seen two people kissing?'

'It wasn't the kissing that was the problem, it was where your hand was going'

Alex laughs, 'well you can't blame me for trying can you?'

They drink beer and eat steak sandwiches at a small pub with a panoramic view of river. A sole boat glides by aimlessly, towards the stronger current upstream.

'You reckon you could live away from the city?' Piper asks taking a sip of beer.

Alex shakes her head, 'I like the buzz of the city, the fact that you can remain anonymous: just another little ant, indistinguishable from the rest. It's kinda cool.'

'But it's nice to have peace and quiet and open spaces isn't it? The air feels fresher, better, away from the city.'

'City air is like a second skin, I like it, shows that you belong' she says, taking a bite of her sandwich.

Their conversation is soon drawn to a premature close, as the atmosphere becomes thicker and a crack of lightening snaps them out of their lazy afternoon conversation. Minutes later, a rumble of thunder is heard in the distance.

'Well, there goes the candlelight trail' Piper mutters, binning the remnants of her sandwich and making her way indoors.

'Ah come on, I'm sure we can find something else to do?' Alex replies.

'We've got three hours left, what can we do in that time that doesn't involve us being outdoors?'

Alex arches an eyebrow, 'you really need me to answer that?'

Piper laughs, 'this was supposed to be a cultural trip Al'

'I can make my kissing French if that would help?' she grins.

Piper looks decidedly unimpressed, but they are quickly snapped back into reality by an even larger crack of lightening. It looks eerily beautiful against the backdrop of the river and suddenly Piper has an overwhelming surge of love, so she pulls Alex close and kisses her in a way that she normally only reserves for when they are behind closed doors. When Alex pulls away, she's a little breathless.

'Wow, I wonder what the villagers would make of that' she laughs.

'Fuck em' Piper replies firmly, her words are closely followed by the largest crack of lightening yet.

'Looks like we've angered the gods' Alex replies as large rain droplets began to pelt them. They hurry back into the pub for shelter.

They order more drinks and take a seat in a booth. 'I'm sorry this hasn't gone to plan' Piper says, feeling dejected.

It's utterly, fucking adorable the way that she cares so much about things like this and it's all Alex can do not to kiss her again. This is one of the reasons she loves her, because she gets so passionate about the minor details, stuff that other people would take for granted or not bother with and it makes her all the more special.

'Don't worry about it, it's been fun'

'Sure?'

'Of course' she replies, squeezing Piper's hand.

'Shall I see if we can get an earlier train and then maybe we can have an early night?' she grins.

'You read my mind kid' Piper disappears to the bar to enquire if they have a train timetable. She looks gloomy by the time she returns.

'What's up?' Alex asks a little concerned.

'Apparently the lightening hit one of the main cables at the station, so the trains are out'

'For the whole night?'

She nods, her brow furrowed as if deep in thought.

'So?'

'The bartender said there was an Inn down the road we could stay at'

'Great, so what's the problem then?' As soon as she asks the question, she knows it's stupid, because it all comes flooding back to her; they aren't a normal couple, the girl she is with has a fiancé and a whole other life that she is not party to. It stabs her rapidly in the chest. Piper isn't hers completely, not yet.

'I'm going to need to make a call' she says, grabbing her cell phone out of her bag and although Alex doesn't want to look, she can't help herself. She can see seven missed calls on the display, all from Larry. Suddenly her mood is mirrored by the murkiness outdoors.

'I'll be back in a sec' she says, disappearing to the other side of the pub.

Alex can only guess at the excuses she's going to be making for the fact that she won't be returning home tonight and it's making her feel sick, because she's something shameful that has to be hidden. In her entire life, she's never allowed anyone to make her feel like this and yet here she is, party to this whole fucking charade allowing it to happen.

A few minutes later Piper has returned and she's got that fake smile plastered on her face, the one that doesn't quite reach her eyes, the one that she reserves for awkward situations like this, when she's desperate to gloss over the issue.

'How was it?' Alex asks bluntly.

'How was what?'

'Lying to your fiancé about why you won't be back tonight'

Piper's face hardens and her lips narrows as she senses that Alex is in the mood for blood. 'I'm always lying to him Al, you know that'.

She says it in a way that seems to be laying the blame at Alex's door and this riles her further. 'So this is my fault?' she replies, incredulous.

'I didn't say that. Look, I don't want to fight with you, please?' her eyes are willing Alex to calm down, not make a drama in a strange place, but the darkness is swirling around Alex's brain and she can't deal with it. 'I'm going for a cigarette' she says, snatching the packet up.

'It's pouring down out there, you'll be soaked'

'I'll stay under the stoop' Alex replies, the rain the least of her concerns. She needs some space, so that she can keep her shit together, but Piper clearly hasn't got the message as she follows her out.

'So you're pissed at me because I had to call Larry? You know how this works, it's only three more weeks Al, we've already talked about this'

'We've already talked about it so I should just move on right? Wait patiently until you've done the deed and then be grateful?' The wind is being whipped up now and the rain is blowing towards them, the stoop no longer affording them any real protection.

'Fuck you Alex, at least I have the balls to tell you I love you, you can't even manage that' she spits.

Alex's mind is a whir. What is she talking about? Of course she tells Piper she loves her, she must have, but she just cannot think straight right now and she can't fucking manage to light this goddamn cigarette. 'I've…'

'You can't remember saying it can you? because you never ever do, it's always a muttered 'love you too' or something else equally irrelevant. Admit that you're too fucking scared'.

And there it is, she's played her trump card and it's a helluva good one. Alex's mind is scrambled now, struggling to fathom how the conversation has spiraled into this. But she does love her, of course she fucking does, otherwise why would she be stood here, getting soaked to the skin and putting up with this bullshit situation week after week.

'Are you doubting that I love you? Is that what this is about? Why you're reluctant to leave him?' Alex asks, her heart feeling shaky. She's praying she doesn't say yes, because that would mean that part of her is actually considering staying with Larry and Alex is as certain as she can be, that she can't handle that; not right now. Not ever.

'Well do you love me?' Piper says, her gaze intense.

'Of course I fucking do'

'So say it then' she says, as if she's throwing down some sort of challenge, 'Not in the jackass way you normally do, 'I love you too Pipes' or 'I love your laugh', say it like I say it; like you feel it.'

Alex swallows hard, everything they've done, all those fragments of time they have had together, they all add up to this one moment. She has to make it count. 'I love you' she says softly, 'I love you' she repeats firmer this time, 'You've got me. Ok?'

'So what would you do for me?' Piper says, her tone softening, her mind reverting back to children once again.

'Anything' Alex says, 'Absolutely anything'. Her eyes are wide now, with fear and with longing.

Piper knows she shouldn't, but she can't help herself from taking this as a guarantee. The kids issue will be ok now, because of what Alex has just said. And deep down she knows she shouldn't hope, but hope is all she's got and it has to be enough. So she kisses her, not caring who is watching; hungrily, until they are both soaked to the skin and the storm has passed.