The hardest part about going to Lima had been leaving. For Kurt, he told his dad that he had to head home for work early, because Isabelle wanted him to make up for time lost. Really, Kurt couldn't live with the guilt of sleeping with Blaine.
He had been afraid of losing Dylan since the first time he had kissed Blaine. They had been together for so long, and Dylan had saved Kurt in so many ways, that he couldn't imagine ever hurting someone so dear to him.
But being with Blaine brought him to a new level. The truth was that Kurt liked being with Blaine. He liked the feeling of embracing Blaine and kissing his soft lips. At first, that night, Kurt thought it was sympathy. He thought he could justify what he was doing by comforting Blaine. It should have been enough.
However, the moment he locked himself in the bathroom and sat with his back against the door, waiting for Blaine to leave, Kurt knew that he was in over his head. It wasn't comfort. He could have stopped himself if he had wanted to. Kurt could have handed Blaine a bowl of ice cream and said, "here, drown your sorrows in ice cream."
But he didn't.
He slept with Blaine. And now he was going to have to live with the consequences of his actions. What would those be? Surely, Dylan would break up with him. If he did, where would that leave Kurt? He couldn't run to Blaine, because he was still with Rachel. He hadn't bluntly told Kurt that, but it was pretty obvious at this point. Rachel even introduced Blaine to Carole as "my boyfriend." And that left Kurt stuck between losing the boy he loved and never having the boy he liked.
"I thought you weren't coming home for a couple more days," Dylan stated, when Kurt entered the living room. He rose from the couch and gave Kurt a small peck on the lips.
Guilt. He felt nothing but guilt.
"Isabelle wanted me back a day early," Kurt lied. If he was going to continue with his story, he had to keep it the same. "So I came back today. Rachel is still there though."
"Did you have fun?" Dylan asked, dragging Kurt's suitcase to the far wall of the apartment..
"Yes," Kurt said shortly, as more guilt settled in. The horrible thing was that Kurt hadn't even told Dylan that Blaine was going in the first place. Part of him was hoping to spend time alone with Blaine. He knew Dylan wouldn't approve if Blaine was going and he wasn't. Kurt basically set himself up for disaster.
"That's good," Dylan smiled. "It was rather boring here without you. It was quiet. I got some work done though, so at least there's that." He grabbed Kurt's hand and said, "but I missed you."
"I missed you too," Kurt said quietly.
"It was kind of weird having that big bed all to myself," Dylan winked.
Images of Blaine lying next to him flashed through Kurt's mind. Here Dylan was, alone and missing him every night, and Kurt was in bed with another guy... Not just a guy, Blaine.
"Now that you have your family's Thanksgiving out of the way, we need to make plans for the real thing. I'm thinking we keep it simple this year, just the two of us," Dylan pulled him closer, as he began kissing Kurt's neck. "I missed you so much."
"Why can't we have our friends over? I really liked having dinner with Mercedes, Sam, Rachel, and... Blaine," Kurt puled away from him, as more guilt settled into his stomach.
"Are you all right?" Dylan asked.
"Of course," Kurt nodded. "I'm fine. I'm just a little tired from my trip, that's all."
"Why don't you go lie down for a while," Dylan pointed toward their bedroom door. "I can join you if you want me to," he added, placing his hand on Kurt's shoulder and giving it a little squeeze.
"Ah, no. that's okay. I think I'd rather rake a nap without a distraction," Kurt said. He headed toward the bedroom door and shut it behind him. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he began fidgeting with a string on the blanket. "What am I going to do?" he whispered to himself.
"Why did you leave so soon?" Rachel's voice came through the phone the next day. "I went to your house to talk to you, because I really needed you, and you weren't there. Carole said you went home."
"I did," Kurt replied.
"Why?" she asked.
"Long story," he mumbled.
"Aw, well, I'm sorry you left so soon. I was hoping we'd head back to McKinley together today and see Mr. Schue. I really wanted to go with you. I have some news I wanted to share with everyone."
"Are you sure you can handle being back there?" he asked. Rachel had taken very few trips to Lima since Finn had passed away. He couldn't see her facing McKinley without him.
"I'll never know until I try," she replied.
"Take Blaine with you. I'm sure he'd love to see his old rival school," he said, pulling his teapot off the stove. "Maybe he could even show you Dalton, and you could let me know what I missed when I didn't transfer there."
"Ah... no, I think I'll just go to McKinley by myself. It's not the same when it wasn't your school," she said quickly. "Um, look, Kurt, I should go. I just wanted to check in on you and make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine," he simply said. Her answer seemed rushed. It made Kurt wonder if she knew anything about him or not. Would she really want to see him if she did? He asked, 'Are you two okay?"
"Y-yeah, of course. Why wouldn't we be?" she said.
"I don't know," he replied.
"Okay. I want to see you when I get back to the city. Mark it in your calendar! I'll talk to you later. Love you!" she hung up, leaving Kurt to stare at his phone in curiosity.
There was definitely something weird going on between Blaine and Rachel. He first noticed it when Blaine started acting emotional that day at the hospital when Kurt met Savannah. Blaine went from admitting that he told Rachel about his sexuality, to acting like nothing had happened between them. He wasn't denying it, and Rachel had recently introduced Blaine as her boyfriend. So what were they/? How did that make Blaine feel knowing he slept with Kurt?
Kurt dialed Blaine's number, knowing he'd have to talk to him sooner or later, but he didn't answer. He tried an hour later and there still wasn't an answer. It seemed that Blaine was, once again, avoiding Kurt.
He sighed in frustration. It seemed like the closer he got to Blaine, the more Blaine resisted him.
New Message To Blaine:
You know, you've been in New York for two days and I still haven't heard from you.
New Message From Blaine:
Sorry.
Kurt had tried contacting Blaine for the next three days and nothing happened. When Blaine finally replied, Kurt immediately dialed his number and he still didn't pick up,. Normally Kurt didn't press for a response. He knew, if someone didn't answer their phone, they probably had a good reason. But this time, he knew Blaine had his phone, because he had just replied to his text message. This meant he was avoiding Kurt.
Kurt left a voicemail.
"What the hell, Anderson? You sleep with me, and run out the next morning while I'm in the bathroom. I don't hear from you for days, and when I confront you, all you can come up with is ' sorry'? I get that you're upset, because I've been a train wreck for days, but you can't go on avoiding me like this. We're eventually going to have to talk."
He hung up angrily. Before this, he let Blaine's absence slide, because Kurt was shaken up over what happened. It was that he liked it so much that he hated. He had to keep it from Dylan, and that was something he couldn't take much more of.
Nothing. Kurt didn't hear anything from Blaine, and he knew that if he wanted to get a hold of him, he would need to find him.
"Hey, Savannah," Kurt went straight for the hospital that Friday morning, because he knew it was the only place he was going to find Blaine, without actually showing up to his apartment.
"Hi, Kurt!" she grinned when she saw him.
"How are you?" he asked, bending down to give her a hug.
"Bored," she said bluntly. "Blaine wasn't here last week,because he went home for a few days, and he hasn't been here today either. But It's great that you're here." She handed him a piece of paper and said, "you need to practice your drawing."
"You really like coloring, don't you?" he smiled.
"I want to be an artist some day," she said.
"Maybe you will," he said reassuringly. "Maybe that picture of Cinderella will be hanging up in a museum someday. Maybe you'll have even better pictures by then."
"Maybe," she frowned. "But probably not." She pointed toward the picture of Cinderella and said, "That's one that Blaine drew anyway. She's my favorite princess."
Blaine. It seemed like so much had changed since that day Kurt found him drawing that picture with her. It reminded him why he had really come to see her. "Did Blaine say he'd be back today?" he asked.
"i guess so," she shrugged.
"I really wish I could stay today, but I've got to get to work. I was hoping to see Blaine here, but I guess he hasn't come yet. He might still come though, so don't worry," he gave her a warm smile.
Kurt turned to leave, when he realized someone was standing in the doorway.
"Hello," a tall woman with long red hair and a light blue dress entered the room. "Can I help you?"
"Mommy, it's my friend Kurt. I told you about him," Savannah told the woman.
"Ah, you're Kurt. Blaine's friend?" she reached out a hand and he shook it. "I'm Savannah's mother, Beatrice. It's nice to finally meet you. I heard you've been up here to visit my daughter."
"Sorry about that," Kurt blushed.
"Oh, no, it's wonderful. She doesn't get too many visitors. Her greatest company is the other children in the ward, but she loves spending time with Blaine, and he's great company for her. Please, come back any time to visit."
"Thank you," Kurt nodded, heading out the door. "I'll see you later, Savannah."
He spent the day at work worrying too much about Blaine. He always seemed to hide when something was bothering him and it drove Kurt crazy. How was he supposed to know if Blaine was okay, when he couldn't even get a hold of him?
"Why are you so quiet?" Dylan asked that night at dinner.
"Long day at work, I guess," Kurt muttered. That was true. It had been a long day. A long day of waiting for Blaine to call, waiting to hear something from the boy he had grown to care for.
"You like the job though?" Dylan raised an eyebrow.
"Absolutely," Kurt said. "No, it's wonderful. I don't think I could ave fallen into a better job by luck. It's the best thing for me right now. Some days are just really busy and it's tiring."
A loud bang came on the front door and Kurt jumped.
"I'l get it," Dylan glided toward the door. Kurt waited, his fork halfway to his mouth. When he heard Dylan ask, "What are you doing here?" Kurt's fork clattered to his plate and he dashed for the door. Dylan didn't usually care a heavy tone like that with many people, unless he wasn't fond of them, and he certainly wasn't fond of -
"Blaine," he breathed.
"Hi," Blaine said breathlessly. His face was red and he looked a little unsteady. "Can I come in?"
"No," Dylan said shortly.
"Yes," Kurt grabbed his arm and pulled him in. He led Blaine over to the couch and sat him down. "Wait here a minute, okay?' he said, hoping Blaine wouldn't change his mind and run away.
"Kurt," Dylan said sternly.
"Listen," Kurt grabbed him and pulled him into the kitchen. "I don't know what's going on but he's dealing with a lot right now. I can't just chase him away because he's here."
"His breath smelled like alcohol, Kurt .You know how I feel about that," Dylan crossed his arms over his chest. "You know how I feel about him. I don't want him here. This was supposed to be a night for us."
"Just let me deal with him, please," Kurt begged. "I'll see why he's here. I'll get him a cab home. But please, give me a minute. I'm not going to throw him back out on the street. He's my friend."
Dylan threw his hands up in the air and said, 'whatever." He stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him. His way of letting Kurt know that he was angry. Kurt waited a minute, making sure he wasn't coming back out, before heading back toward Blaine, who was fumbling with magazines on the coffee table in front of him..
"Blaine," Kurt said quietly, standing next to him. He placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder, causing him to jump.
He stood up and moved toward Kurt, "I'm so happy to see you."
"Come with me," Kurt grabbed his hand. He wasn't going to have this discussion where Dylan could hear them so easy. He led Blaine to the fire escape and sat down with him. When they were seated, Kurt crossed his legs and looked at his friend, "Blaine, you ignored me all week. After what happened I wasn't sure how I'd feel the next time I saw you, but I'm not happy that you ignored me," he started.
"I said I was sorry," Blaine replied, placing his hand on Kurt's thigh. "But I want you now."
"I know I didn't do you any favors by hiding in the bathroom, but you actually left, and it made me feel a little useless. Like, maybe, that was all you were looking for," Kurt bit his lip nervously.
"No, I want you. I always want you," Blaine's hand began rubbing Kurt's thigh.
"Blaine, you're drunk," Kurt said, pushing his hand away.
"I had to," he shrugged.
"You had to drink?" Kurt asked.
Blaine began rambling, "Everything's so jumbled in my head, Kurt. It's so jumbled. Do I stay with Rachel? Do I leave her for you? Do you leave Dylan for me? Do I love you like I think I do?"
"Stop. Stop," Kurt snapped. He had been thinking the same jumbled mess for days, but to hear it come out of Blaine's mouth only made it sound that much worse. They were in over their heads.
"I think I choose you," Blaine leaned over and tried to kiss him. Kurt pulled away and Blaine's lips barely brushed the side of his face. "Kurt, come on, I know you want me to. You slept with me."
"That shouldn't have happened," Kurt informed him.
"But it did," Blaine laughed. "And trust me, it was nothing like sleeping with Rachel."
"Stop!" Kurt said loudly. "Blaine, we can't do this. First of all, Dylan still doesn't know anything, and i'm terrified of telling him. I feel sick just walking around with this lie on my shoulders, but I haven't had the guts to tell him yet.."
"It's okay, I've been lying about a lot lately," Blaine brushed off the comment.
Kurt smacked his hand to his forehead. That wasn't reassuring at all. He didn't know if he really believed Blaine. After all, he was drunk. But if Blaine had been lying, Kurt didn't know what to believe at this point. What had he been lying about? "Look, we can't have this conversation while you're drunk."
"Kurt, sleeping with me meant something to you, I know it did," Blaine moved closer. "It's okay, I want you sober just as much as I want you when I'm drunk. Sober me would agree."
'I'm not responding to that," Kurt stood up.
Blaine followed and grabbed him by the arm, "and I know this means something too." He forcefully kissed Kurt hard, and Kurt pushed him away, knocking Blaine into the railing.
"You're drunk. It doesn't mean anything," he climbed back through the window. "I'm calling you a cab. You're not in the right frame of mind. I want to have this discuss with you sober."
"Don't cal a cab," Blaine yelled, seizing his wrist.
"Why?"
"Because she doesn't want me home," Blaine slurred.
"What are you talking about?"
"I told her, Kurt," Blaine sank to the couch. "I told her that I cheated a few days ago, and she's been on pins and needles since. She's angry with me, and I don't think she wants me there anymore... Can I just... stay the night here?"
Kurt glanced toward the bedroom door, knowing Dylan would be angry."I don't - "
"I'd stay with Mercedes and Sam, but they went back to Lima for Regionals. Mr. Schuester wanted some extra help, and they figured they'd stay through Thanksgiving next week. Please, we had another fight tonight, and I can't deal with it. That's why I drank." Blaine buried his face in his hands and slouched his shoulders.
How could he say no to that?
Sighing, Kurt sat down on the couch next to him. "I'll make you up a bed on the couch. We'll talk about this in the morning, okay? I told you I'd be here for you. Come here," Kurt pulled Blaine close and gave him a hug, Gently patting him on the back, Kurt added, "And in the morning, you're going to give me some real answers."