Cast in order of appearance: Envy, Wrath, Sloth, Ed, Gluttony, Lust, Greed, Pride, Al

Envy walks around looking through a colorful pamphlet

Wrath: Wat'cha do'n Envy?

Envy jumps and spins around

Envy: Where do you keep jumping out of?!

Wrath looks around

Wrath: … I-… I don't know…. (points at pamphlet) what's that?

Envy: Oh this?

Holds up brochure of Ed standing in front of Big Ben on it

Wrath takes it

Wrath: … And?

Envy: I've decided that I'm going to go wreak havoc on London.

Wrath: And how ya gonna do that?

Envy: Well (takes brochure back) you see I no longer just have the ultimate identity! I now have… (pause for emphasis) The ultimate travel guide!!!

Wrath: *shifty eyes but still smiling* Okay sure, whatever you say….

Envy: Yeah! It is whatever I say!

Wrath: *flinch* Alright just don't hurt me!

Envy: Well see ya never.

Wrath: Wait! Where are you going?!

Envy: I'm going to go force pipsqueak and his brother to open the gate.

Wrath: They can do that?

Envy: Well how the backwards Tucker should I know!

Wrath: But you can't! We have class today!

Envy: … Class?

Wrath (grinning): Yeah homunculus class!

Envy: You know sticking homunculus in front of everything doesn't make it sound better, it just wastes time.

Wrath: Come on! We'll be late! *drags Envy behind him*

Envy: I've never even heard of this stupid thing! You're just making it up like the fountain of chocolate syrup on the third floor landing!
Wrath: Okay, I know I saw that!

Envy: You got me so excited! Come on! Who doesn't love chocolate syrup?!

Wrath suddenly stops at one door and opens it

*Classroom setup*

Envy: When'd this get here?

Sloth (sitting at a desk next to Greed, Pride, Lust, and Gluttony): Where've you been?!

Envy: What the-?!

Wrath: Look seats up front.

Envy: What's going on?!

Ed walks out from another door

Ed: Good morning class.

All: Good morning Mr. Elric.

Envy: Mr. Elric? Wait why is he teaching this class? I thought it was for homunculus!

Gluttony: Time for lunch?

Lust: Not yet Gluttony. (to Greed) I swear it's like I'm babysitting.

Greed: Oh I know what you mean… I think.

Ed: Greed!

Greed: I didn't do it!

Ed: Get in the corner!

Greed walks over to a small chair in the corner and sits down as Ed puts a dunce cone on his head

Envy: HA! That was good!

Ed: Envy! I've told you the dress code a million times! Skirts have to be to the top of the knee!

Envy: Hey! I'm gonna-!

Ed: Sit down!

Envy sits

Envy: I didn't want to sit! What's going on?!

Ed: Now today I will be teaching you about the glowing transmutation circle and all its wonder.

Lust: Oh not this again.

Ed: The forces of alchemy you cannot use.

Wrath: I can.

Ed: The other side of the gate only I have been to.

Greed (from corner): Joy….

Ed: How to make a transmutation circle just using your hands.
Gluttony: Food…?

Ed: I can teach you how to bottle fame.

Pride: Don't need it.

Ed: Pickle victory.

Wrath: Pickle victory?!

Ed: Bottle Glory. And put a stopper in death.

Lust: No you can't.

Envy: This is getting boring.

Ed: And even score with hot babes. Class dismissed.

Envy: Wait, what? Hot babes?!

The rest of the class leaves

Envy: Teach me!

Ed: No, goodbye Envy

Envy: You're no fun! *walks out*

Envy sits up in bed and rubs eyes

Envy: Whoa… that was beyond freaky….

Gets up and walks out into the hallway

Al (dancing in a fountain of chocolate syrup): Hey Envy!

Envy: … I'm going back to bed.

Fin

Okay everyone, this is the last chapter of Homunculus gags. I hope you liked them! I may not see you for a while, but when there's a new hppp I will be there! I'm also going to start FMA gags for anyone who's interested. :P

Thanks for reading!

Tennessee