Chapter Eleven:
By the time Worf and Deanna arrived, Ten-Forward was packed. The auditory level was quite loud, but Deanna found the internal noises more stressing. Outwardly, everyone was holding together well. Inside, they were both denying a long-time friend was lost and fearing that they could be the next to meet an untimely death. Worf wrapped his arm around Deanna, offering her comfort and coaxed her further into the room.
They joined Riker and Data at a table near the center. After they were through with the pleasantries, Worf asked of the captain, "Will you be giving the eulogy?"
"I hate calling it that," Riker responded. "I believe he's MIA, not deceased. "However, Barclay has volunteered to say a few words in honor of Geordi."
"Barclay!" Deanna exclaimed. He'd come a long way from the sociophobia that had dominated his life when he first joined the Enterprise crew. Still, standing in front of an audience of a few hundred had to be difficult for most anyone.
"Have you doubts whether he can get the words out, counselor?"
"Under normal circumstances, Barclay has made remarkable strides, but given the stress of Geordi's disappearance and Barclay's subsequent promotion, I don't know if this is something he can handle."
"Perhaps, he feels he owes it to Geordi to try," Data suggested.
"It is the honorable thing to do," Worf added.
"If anyone else wishes to say a few words," the captain started, "of course, they will be given the opportunity."
"Data, how are you feeling?" Deanna asked, her therapeutic instincts kicking in.
"I am managing. I considered shutting down my emotions chip during this ceremony for nearly three seconds. However, I decided it was inappropriate." A tear trickled down his cheek and he didn't attempt to wipe it away. "It is important for all of us to grieve naturally."
Although she was moved by Data's words, Deanna longed for a way to turn off her own emotions.
Barclay walked through the door and nervously scanned the crowd. Spotting Corrine Berlitz in a long-sleeved black dress, he relaxed a little as she nodded reassuringly at him. He could do this. He approached the bar, intending to use the counter as a crutch if necessary and turned around to face his audience. He struck the podium three times to gain the crowd's attention. The room fell silent as all were anxious to hear what he had to say.
Barclay cleared his throat and bowed his head momentarily. Deanna held her breath, afraid he would lose the courage he'd worked so hard toward finding. But then, Barclay looked up, his gaze intent on their table. "Most of you know that Captain Riker has promoted me to chief engineer," he said. "I'd gladly give up the honor for Commander LaForge's return. I met LaForge seven years ago when I first came aboard the Enterprise. For a long time, his authority intimidated me. I lacked confidence in my ability to express myself, but Commander LaForge offered me his friendship. He gave me a chance-" Barclay's voice cracked and his lips trembled as he fought tears. Deanna brought her hand to her mouth as she mentally coaxed him to find the strength to continue. "-to prove myself worthy of being a part of his team. As your new chief engineer, I hope to be half as good as Commander Geordi LaForge. Geordi, we will always remember you and miss you greatly."
Deanna smiled bittersweetly as she reached out her hands, one for Worf, the other for Will. Obviously feeling as much remorse as everyone, Worf did not flinch as Data grasped his hand.
The following day, Worf and Deanna officially moved into their new quarters. Not having a duty shift scheduled for twenty-four hours, Worf agreed to help her plan out the nursery. As they chose wall coloring, a border, and a furniture layout, Deanna felt her mood lightening.
"I do not wish for our baby to have too much pink," Worf said.
Deanna let out a healthy laugh. "Worf, since we have decided not to know the sex of the baby until it is born, we should stay away from pink or blue themes and select from neutral ones, like yellow or green."
"Good. Let us choose a combination of those, then."
Next, Worf expressed his concern over the objects his child would be subjected to while laying in his or her crib. "I will not have my baby staring at ducks and lambs."
"Ahhhh. Didn't your mother ever give you a rubber duckie, or whatever the Klingon equivalent is? Darling, a baby is not meant to become a warrior the moment he or she leaves its mother's womb. He or she needs cute pictures, soft music and gentle care to soothe him or her. Believe me, they grow up soon enough."
"I know," Worf responded, his tone softening. "I regret not being able to spend time with Alexander during the first few years of his life." He wrapped his arms around his wife's expanding waist. "This child will know a father's love and understanding."
Deanna leaned her head into his chest, relishing his strong comfort. They were warming away from the large wormhole, and she hoped the worst of what Guinan had foretold was over. How could anything be worse than losing friends?
Barclay reported for his first duty shift officially as the Enterprise's chief engineer. He felt some of the old nervousness that once plagued him on a daily basis. How would the junior engineers react to his command? Would they call him names behind his back and question every order he gave? Although he'd worked with each of them long enough to know them fairly well, Barclay could not completely eliminate his fears as he stepped into the main engine room.
"Good morning, sir" an Ensign Bracket said as he approached Barclay. He held out a data padd to the new chief engineer. "This is my report from the Gamma Shift. You'll find that everything ran smoothly."
Barclay accepted the padd and replied, "Thank you, ensign. You are dismissed."
Looking relieved, Bracket made his way to the turbolift, eager to get some much-needed sleep. As he entered the turbolift, two other engineers stepped off, arriving for their Alpha Shifts. They were approaching Barclay, but the new chief engineer diverted his attention to Bracket's report. Although he knew this behavior emphasized his nervousness, Barclay couldn't force himself to make direct eye contact with either of them until he knew they approved of his promotion.
"Good morning, commander," one said.
"Congratulations on your promotion," said the other.
Relieved, Barclay acknowledged his two subordinates with a lift of his head and a polite smile. "Thank you, lieutenants. If you would take your stations, we may continue the new interface design Commander LaForge was working on." Barclay's voice cracked slightly as he mentioned LaForge, but neither subordinate acknowledged, instead taking their stations as ordered and delving into their work.
Maybe this transition to chief engineer would go more smoothly than Barclay had anticipated.
Twelve days after the Enterprise left the strange wormhole behind, Riker still felt uneasy about its existence. Although he had a strong, reliable crew, Riker easily noticed the lessening of tension among them. How had the wormhole been effecting them? And why?
When Worf informed him that he had an incoming priority-one message from Starfleet Headquarters, Riker imagined the worst and stepped into his Ready Room to answer it. As he sat down at his desk and brought up the subspace link, Admiral Wilson's grim visage appeared on the tiny screen.
"Admiral, is there a problem?" Riker asked, fearing he was about to hear that someone else he knew had died.
"Not necessarily," the older man responded. "But we must prepare ourselves for whatever outcome. Over the past several days, several more pocket-sized wormholes have been reported throughout this portion of the Alpha Quadrant. They appear to be identical in nature to the one that destroyed the Stargazer."
"You want us to probe some of them as well?"
"Yes. Between the Enterprise and the Lexington, I want all the pockets covered. Probe them and map both their locations and wherever they lead to. We may not be able to send anything larger than a probe through them, but hopefully we can determine why they were created. We cannot risk any more accidents for lack of preparedness."
"Should we attempt further contact with the aliens?" Riker asked, dreading the answer.
"Take every precaution. If they created these wormholes to gain a tactical advantage, we must prepare ourselves. Should either your crew or the Lexington's discover a means of retaliation, request backup from any allied ships in the vicinity."
"Understood."
The admiral tapped at the console on his desk. "I'm sending you the coordinates of another pocket. You should have little trouble locating others through long-range scanners once you arrive at these coordinates. These pockets obviously haven't been around long. Otherwise we would have detected some before now. We should also be concerned about whether any new ones are being created."
Silently, Riker wondered if hostile aliens were attempting to rip their quadrant of the galaxy apart. Although he didn't voice this fear, he suspected Wilson was contemplating the very same scenario.
Deanna was relieved when she learned Alyssa Ogawa would be performing the routine monthly exam.
Although Dr. Selar was both thorough and competent, she lacked the emotional support Deanna craved.
"I feel like sleeping all day," she told Alyssa even as she lay on the biobed with her legs spread, she felt like closing her eyes. "And when I'm not sleeping, I just want to eat. Is that normal?"
"I'm afraid so," Alyssa responded as she ran the scanner over Deanna's abdomen. She had finally earned her doctorate in medicine a few months ago. "Pregnancy can drain a lot of energy from you. Listen to your body. If it tells you that you need rest, then rest." She lowered the scanner. "The good news, you're both in excellent health. Just don't forget to report immediately to sickbay if you experience any problems."
"Will do. Am I dismissed now? I promised my husband I'd meet him for a lunch date."
"I wouldn't keep you from such an important date."
Important indeed, Deanna mused. She had something she needed to tell Worf.
She arrived at Ten-Forward first and waited at the bar, sipping a mocha while she waited for Worf's break in his duty shift. He arrived, squeezing her gently at the shoulders. She jumped and attempted to recover quickly from the shock in hopes that her husband wouldn't notice. "Worf, I'm glad you made it."
"I do not have long," he advised her.
They ordered their meals and sat down at a table to eat.
"I made a decision today, darling," she said in between bites. "Ensign Calloway asked if she could see me this afternoon to discuss some personal concerns. Dr. Ogawa said that the baby and I are perfectly healthy, so I see no reason why I shouldn't return to my responsibilities."
"As long as you are sure you are all right."
"I'm fine."
"You were a bit jumpy when I met you at the bar."
"You startled me, that's all. I didn't hear you coming."
Worf lowered his gaze, and she sensed that he was reluctant to tell her something.
"What is it?"
"We've changed course. The Enterprise has been ordered to investigate more pocket wormholes discovered over the past several days. If this disturbs you, please let me know. I will not have my wife working under duress."
Inside her quarters, Deanna reflected on her conversations with Guinan. Her old friend had warned her that difficult times were ahead. Was she emotionally strong enough to pull through this? For my unborn child, I will, she promised herself. "I can handle it," she said aloud.
"Thank you, Counselor," Ensign Calloway said as she stood from the chair. "You've been a great help. I think I'll be able to sleep tonight."
The annunciator sounded and Deanna invited the visitor inside. Reginald Barclay poked his head through the sliding door. "I-I hope I'm not interrupting," he said. Deanna noted the return of his stutter. What had him on edge?
"Janis and I have just finished, Reg," Deanna replied. " If you have something urgent you wish to discuss with me, I'm free for the rest of the afternoon. "
The ensign slipped past Barclay and the engineer stepped into the room. He could not stand still and he alternated between crossing his arms and letting them dangle at his side.
"Reg, why don't you sit down?"
He complied only to begin fidgeting with his hands. " I-I know everything's been running smoothly in Engineering, since I received my promotion, but I still have doubts about whether I'm ready for the responsibility."
"Captain Riker would not have given you the promotion if he weren't confident in your abilities. You've made incredible progress during the years I've known you. No longer are you the shy man who needs to hide behind a fantasy."
"I realize that, really I do. Yet when I think about entering Engineering as its new chief, I remember Geordi and feel as though I'm taking this away from him. How do I handle the guilt?"
"Guilt can be a tenacious demon. You have to remind yourself that you were not responsible for what happened to Geordi. I know he was very proud to work with you, and I'm sure he would approve of your taking over the position. You've been in charge of Engineering for two weeks now. Has anyone challenged your authority?"
"No. All my engineers have been very cooperative."
"Reg, is something else bothering you-perhaps something a little more personal?"
His cheeks turned a dark shade as he shrugged. "Thought-there is a crewmember I've been hoping to get a little closer to. I can talk with her easily enough, but I've been unable to work up the courage to ask her out on a date."
"You can tell me who she is."
He hesitated. "Corinne Berlitz."
"I see." Deanna didn't want to appear disappointed by Barclay's choice, but couldn't help remembering how she'd treated Corinne the day she'd announced her pregnancy. How could she talk about Berlitz with Barclay and not get uneasy? "Has she given you any reason to believe she's not yet ready to date?"
"No. She rarely mentions her husband and I'm not sure whether that's a bad thing."
"Not necessarily. It's been nearly two years since his death. I counseled her for a long while and I believe she's ready to move on."
"I suspected as much. I just don't know if I'm the one she wants to move on with and rejection scares me."
"Everyone feels afraid of what others think of them from time to time."
"Not like I do."
"Reg, don't call yourself short. You've come a long way. When the right moment comes, you'll find the courage."
Although Barclay nodded, Deanna sensed lingering doubts from him. She suspected that he would prove his own fears unwarranted as he eased into the responsibilities of chief engineer. Still, she believed he could benefit from a few sessions. "Why don't you schedule an appointment with me and we can discuss any specific concerns you might have."
"That would be great. Well, I better get down to engineering. We'll be arriving at the coordinates of the first pocket wormhole in a few hours. Have to be prepared. "
"So soon," Deanna said barely above a whisper. Please, let me hold it together. I can't let him see how frightened I am.
Barclay stood. " Thank you, Deanna, for seeing me without an appointment." He turned and exited.
Barclay thought about Counselor Troi's advice throughout his duty shift and reached a decision by the end of the day. It was twenty-three hundred hours and time for the Gamma Shift, but he hoped Corinne was still awake.
"Computer, location of Corinne Berlitz," he inquired.
"Lieutenant Berlitz is inside her quarters."
"Is she awake?"
"Affirmative."
"Then take me to Deck 6." When she answered his call a minute later, his fears kicked into high gear. Her son was crying and she obviously looked very tired. "I've come at a bad time. I'm sorry." He started to turn away from her.
"No, wait!" she said, clutching his shoulder. "I could really use another adult right now. My son had a bad dream and I can't get him to calm down. Would I be imposing if I asked you to help?"
"I feel as though I'm the one imposing. Lead the way." He followed her into a small room to the right. Her toddler was standing up in his crib, tears glistening his cheeks. Bouncing on his mattress, he called for his mother. As she picked up the boy, Barclay instructed, "Computer, play some soft music compatible for a baby."
A melody flowed through the room and while Berlitz rocked him in her arms, her son stopped crying and stuck his thumb in his mouth.
"I tried music before you arrived," she said with a chuckle. "He must like you."
"I-I'm sure it's just the random musical selection. Baby's are funny that way." As he spoke, Barclay realized how at ease he felt with Corinne when her son was present. Silently, they watched the toddler drift back to sleep and after Corinne gently returned him to his crib, she and Reg snuck back into her living area.
"So Reg, why'd you stop by?"
"What?" He'd become so relaxed from putting the baby to sleep that he'd forgotten his original mission. "Oh Corinne, I've been thinking about you lately."
"Really?" she chuckled nervously.
"I'm sorry," he said, looking away from her. Why had he blurted the news out? He wondered. She wouldn't want anything to do with him now. He'd be lucky if she didn't kick him out of her quarters. "I'm being too forward. I-I shouldn't approach you in your quarters. You must feel as though I'm backing you into a corner."
"Wait, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed at you. You took me by surprise; that's all. I hadn't realized you felt this way and I didn't know how to react."
"Maybe I should have told you before now, but I'm just too shy."
"Believe me, shyness is something I can understand. It took me two years to work up the courage to sign up for Starfleet Academy and five years to pass every course."
"I had no idea. You seem such a competent and intelligent person." If he admitted that her disclosure consoled his guilt about his own fallacies when he first joined the Enterprise, would she be pleased or insulted?
"It wasn't for lack of knowing the material. I freeze up when I'm being tested. On the job, I've been able to built up enough confidence in myself and the people I work with to get as far as I have."
"Corinne, are you free Saturday evening, say twenty-one hundred hours? I'd like to show you a holodeck program I wrote a few years ago."
"I'd like to see it. Thanks."
After saying their goodnights, Barclay left her quarters with more confidence than he'd ever known.